As James readied himself for the trip to King's Cross Station, he thought about the last five years of his life that he had spent at Hogwarts. The many good memories he had of the place put a smile on his face and prevented the bad ones from creeping in. Like his father's repeated and long term absences over the intervening years or the continual problems with the Slytherins. Sure, Malfoy, Rodolphos Lestrange, and Bellatrix Black had graduated his third year at Hogwarts which ended their reign of torment but there were many others to take their places. Like Narcissa or Rabastan. Or even Snape. This year, too, would be the first year that Andromeda Black, the only member of the Black family that actually sympathized and liked Sirius, was going to be gone; she had graduated the last semester. Still, that did mean only one more year of Narcissa which wasn't really a bad thing.
Later, James boarded the train to Hogwarts, waving to his parents briefly before setting off to find Sirius, Remus, and Peter. He ran into Lily Evans in the corridor, "Hey, Evans." He said with an easy smile, tousling his hair to make it look like he had been out flying, "How was your summer?" While not exactly what he would call friends, the two of them had a hate/love relationship going that, unbeknown to either one of them, was continuously gossiped about by the other Gryffindors.
Lily turned around and had to hide a gasp; James had added inches to his height over the summer, making him much taller than she was for the first time. "Potter." She found her voice at last and slapped a smile onto her face, "My summer was fine, I guess. Nothing went on much other than the usual."
Not being stupid or blind, James jumped into the conversation, the better to draw it out so he could look at her longer, "That's good. Your sister still giving you hell?" Trying not to move his eyes, James looked her up and down, really loving what he saw. She was just the right height, with a nicely rounded figure, and her eyes were as bewitching as always.
Lily shrugged, a carelessly elegant gesture that touched James'...heart, and would have answered him but for the sudden eruption of screams down the corridor. With a sigh, she smiled at him, "Try not to set anything on fire, James." The screams intensified and Lily added, with a pained look on her face, "I'd better go see who is torturing the first years already."
"Wait a minute." He blurted out and then froze, not quite sure why he had stopped her when she turned back to look at him. Don't ask her to go out with you, dear god, anything but that. His mind nattered at him, the very thought of asking her out causing a faint blush to rise in his cheeks. "I...ah...so you're a Prefect then?"
Flicking her finger to the badge on her chest, Lily arched an eyebrow, intentionally mimicking some of Sirius' mannerisms, "That's what the badge means, James." She was rather fascinated at the flush in his cheeks and wondered what on earth could be causing that; usually she was the one with a flaming face. "I have to go. Tell Peter I said hello."
As James watched her walk away, he was left with one thought in his mind, "Peter?" He called out incredulously, with just a hint of jealousy, and groaned slightly. What was he thinking, shouting out things like that for all to hear. Fortunately for his peace of mind, Lily just kept on walking, giving no indication that she'd heard him what-so-ever. Running a distracted hand through his hair, James muttered to himself, "Boyo, she doesn't even like you. No sense in getting hung up on her and, besides, it's Evans, for Christ's sake."
> > > > > > > > > > >
With the ease of five years, the 5th year Gryffindors slipped back into the routine at Hogwarts, causing no more trouble than the complaints over their killer class schedule over breakfast and a minor hexing scuffle that sent Peter and a Slytherin to the Infirmary their second day back. Remus came back from his monthly visit to his mother's, not noticing the looks Sirius, James, and Peter exchanged when they thought he wasn't looking, and resumed his Prefect duties once more. The four of them continued to work on the map they were developing of the Hogwarts' grounds and personnel; James and Sirius being deadly serious about something for a change to the point where Remus was starting to worry that they were slacking on their homework too much, considering this was OWL year. They were so busy on the map, homework, and James' Quidditch practices, in fact, that the first three weeks of school flew by insanely fast and they had not played a single prank on anyone.
The night before the first Quidditch match of the season, Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff, James trudged up to the Owlery with a letter to his parents. His father, surprisingly enough, had actually managed to spend the last week of the summer home and was still there, as far as the letter told James, and he wanted to write to him before his father left again. Borrowing one of the school's owls, James sent it winging on it's way and stayed up there, relaxing in the solitude.
"Penny for your thoughts, Potter." Lily had just walked into the Owlery a moment ago and, upon seeing James, had almost turned and walked right back out the door. Scolding herself for being a ninny, she had brazened it out, forcing the issue with her question.
James turned quickly when he realized someone was in here with him, hand going for his wand in an automatic reflex action. Lily divined his intentions, somehow, and yanked her wand quickly out of her robes, readying a disarming spell. "Dif...Lily." The first part of that was a spell that James chocked off, seeing who stood before him. The energy from the almost released spell rocked him as he reabsorbed it, making him snap, "Jesus, woman, what the hell are you doing here? I almost hexed you."
Lily waggled her wand unconcernedly at him, "I was ready to disarm you, Potter." She said calmly, finding her own sense of calmness in the face of his radiating tension, "And I have the right to be here, just as you do." It was interesting, she thought to herself, to watch the way the storm clouds gathered in James' eyes when he was angry, "I do apologize for startling you."
She had reverted back into her formal mode, something that, for some reason, made James want to shake the hell out of her. Settling for clenching his jaw, he spoke from around his teeth, trying to hide his irritation, "It's quite all right. I apologize for almost hexing you."
Waving her hands airily, Lily said, not quite putting her nose up in the air, "Think nothing of it." Casting about for something else to say, she edged past him and asked, "So, writing to your parents?" While she waited for his answer, she called down one of the owls, holding out her hand with the letter in it.
James bit back the defensive retort with some effort and said, simply, "Yes." Before the two of them could lapse into an uncomfortable silence, not that he was ever truly comfortable being alone with Lily, he added, "My dad is actually home for a change and I wanted to make sure the owl catches him there." Feeling that he had said too much and not wanting to see the pity in Lily's eyes (or worse, nothing at all), James turned back to the window ledge, staring out over the Hogwarts grounds. Damn, there was that uncomfortable silence again, he had to break it. "Lily?" He began hesitantly and then spat the rest out in a rush, trying to be casual and failing miserably, "I was wondering if you would...I mean, are the Slytherins leaving you alone?"
It was a fair question, Lily thought to herself even as she tried to quell her anger at his nosiness and her curiosity about what he was really going to ask. Just because the ring leader, Malfoy, had left, did not mean that the Slytherins were leaving her alone and Lily, on more than one occasion, had found herself cornered by them. So far, they had done nothing worse than leave bruises or hexed her but there was a streak in some of them she found very disturbing, something that promised something worse to come. "James," his name on her lips came out as more of a sigh. "I told you last year, I can take care of myself." She released the owl out the window, coming over to stand next to him, "I don't need a protector."
"But what if I want..." Lily could have screamed when James cut off what he was saying in midsentance once more. Ignoring that, James continued, "I mean, Lily, come on, you could really get hurt one of these days."
Frustration made her snap at him, "If I do, it will be your fault, you know." James opened his mouth to protest, she silenced him with her finger touching his lips, "You didn't start this, I know that now, but you are damned sure that you are going to finish it, aren't you? No matter who takes a hex that you meant for a Slytherin in the back."
Flushing guiltily for James had hexed Lily last year when he was going for Snape, James could not help the anger rising and jerked his head back away from her finger, "I told you I was sorry for that, Lily." He grabbed her hand, gently, and pulled her closer to him, "I did not know, how could I? I never saw you walking into the line of fire." He closed his eyes and whispered, "How long are you going to make me pay for that?"
Lily pulled away, James releasing her immediately upon feeling the pressure, and took a step back. Her hands went to her mouth and she felt surpised...and something else she could not quite put a name to yet, nor was she sure she wanted to. "James..." She began and trailed off, searching for what she wanted...no, needed to say to him. "I am not trying to make you pay for anything. It was an accident, I know that."
"Then why do you throw it in my face in damn near every conversation that we have had since then?" Lily sighed and let her shoulder slump, looking a bit lost at the question. Before she had a chance to answer, James exhaled heavily and dropped the anger like a bad habit, "Lily, I am sorry. I shouldn't have accused you of that. And I know that you can take care of yourself, I just want...I want you to know that you don't have to. I will always look out for you. I...we don't want you to get hurt."
Lily could tell what that apology had cost him and she looked at him, a much softened expression on her face. Reaching out, she cupped one hand over his cheek, rubbing her fingers lightly over his skin, "I know that, James. I really do. And I cannot begin to tell you what that means to me." Especially since there were others in the school who wouldn't lift a finger to save her...and not all of them were Slytherins. She knew it and suspected that James knew it as well. There are some people who will hate others for being too pretty or too smart and Lily wasn't top of her class for nothing nor did it help that she had a quiet but exotic beauty she was mostly unaware of...
Seeing the look in her eyes when James finally gathered his courage and met her gaze undid him, "Lily, I was..." He stuttered a bit before taking a deep breath and starting over, taking her hand off his cheek and holding it within his, "I was wondering if you would, ah, like to go to Hogsmead with me. Next weekend." As a puzzled look filled her eyes, he added hopefully, "Like a date."
Oh god. Oh god. OhGodOhGodOhGod. She was prepared for absolutely anything other than that and, in her nervous reaction, did the exact wrong thing. When she opened her mouth to accept, a nervous giggle escaped her lips. A giggle that turned into full blown laughter with no control over it...
James dropped her hand as if he had been stung, shocked and very disappointed in her reaction. "Fine. Forget I said anything." He said calmly, not showing any of what he was really feeling on her face. Turning away, he headed for the door, yanking it open before tossing the words over his shoulder, "You did not have to laugh at me, you know." Quickly and not looking back, he left the Owlery, missing the pole-axed expression on Lily's face as she realized what she had just done...accidental, sure, but what was done, was done.
> > > > > > > > > > >
The next morning, James was excessively distracted and moody during breakfast, snapping sullenly whenever Sirius or Remus asked him questions. The two of them shrugged it off, though not without exchanging some significant looks over James' head, but shrugged it off as first Quidditch game of the season jitters. Peter, on the other hand, was so busy eating as much as he could while pouring over his Transfiguration text, missed all of the subtleties of breakfast. Lily, at one point, looked as if she wanted to come over and talk to them but she quickly froze in the act of rising when James leveled a glare at her, dropping back into her seat. It almost looked like she wanted to cry...
During the Quidditch match itself, James was still playing distractedly, letting one of the Hufflepuff's Chasers get to the Quaffle three times before he was anywhere near. He knocked the Gryffindor Seeker almost off his broom and completely missed the goal post three times before the Team Captain, Johnathan McBain, knocked a Bludger into James and called a time out. James landed with a huff, that Bludger had caught him full in the stomach and knocked the wind out of him, "What the hell did you do that for, McBain?"
"You are distracted and costing us points, Potter." McBain said, calm in the face of James' obvious anger, "Straighten up or get the hell off my pitch." The two boys locked eyes, staring at each other for a long moment before James flushed and backed down. He muttered an apology and the team lifted off into the air once more. Determined to keep his mind off Lily, James somehow managed to play the best game of his life, scoring an unprecedented 250 points by a single Chaser in a game, leading the Gryffindor team into an easy victory over Hufflepuff, 540 points to 210. After the game, the thoughts came crashing back in on him once more and he waited til the rest of the team left before slouching off to be alone for a while...