Hey everyone! I was going to apologize for something, I think… Something about the last chapter, but I can't remember. So I'll just say this: If there was anything in that chapter that you found offensive, I'm sorry.

Or maybe it was just that I was going to tell you something. Well… Let's just say this entire story is going to be a bit strange. Yeah. Just a bit. Um… Dang. Now there was something else… Oh yeah! I'd like to thank everybody who reviewed. I'd hug you, but it'd probably just scare you away, and that would make me lose some readers, which is something that I can't have happen. Anyway, this chapter is a bit strange, more than a bit random, and has caused myself and my best friend (Eclipse's real life double… sorta…) about 400 different obsessions and ways to freak out my other friends.

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CHAPTER TWO

Wahoo!!!

Woohoo for Christmas!

Shadow looked at her calendar. It was December 24.

"IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE!" she yelled to Hiei, who was in the next room. "MORNING! SO THAT MEANS EVERYBODY IS COMING OVER TODAY!!!"

"Why don't you have a Christmas party on Christmas?"

"Because. Now shut up and get to work."

"Work? Doing what?"

"Polish all the shiny spheres on the tree."

"In. Your. DREAMS! There's got to be fifty on there!"

"Yeah. Polish them."

"No."

"Fine, they'll just look all icky and unshiny when everybody gets here."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"Hn."

"Hn?"

"No comment."

"Why not?"

"Because I said no comment, so I have no comment. Is it against the law not to comment?"

"It is in this house."

"Shadow, get a life. Go answer the door."

"But the doorbell didn't ring!"

"Answer it anyway!"

"Fine!"

Shadow walked to the door and opened it.

"Jaganshi residence! Can I help you?"

Nobody was there but snow.

"Well, you're quite a rude fellow. Fine. Screw off! Never come back or I'll feed you to the weasels!" Shadow slammed the door in the nobody's face.

"You shouldn't be so rude to the poor people who come to the door, Shadow. You'll get us a bad reputation."

"What? He didn't answer me! He just stood there staring at me like I was nuts! It's so not friendly! So I was rude right back! And since when did you care about your reputation?"

"Never. I was just saying..."

"Well don't."

"Fine! But if people start thinking we're the evil Mr. and Mrs. Scrooge, it's not going to be my fault!" Hiei snapped.

The doorbell rang. For real, it did!

"HIEI! ANSWER THE DOOR!" Shadow yelled. "YOU'RE SO WORRIED I'LL BE RUDE TO WHOEVER IS THERE, SO YOU ANSWER IT THIS TIME!"

"FINE!" Hiei went to the door and opened it. A group of people stood there.

"Carolers!" they shouted.

"WE'RE NOT GIVING YOU ANY MONEY!" Hiei yelled, slamming the door and causing a cascade of snow to fall off the roof onto their heads.

"Holy god, and you think I'm rude? When I answered the door, there wasn't a whole big group of carolers there!" Shadow said. "And I waited for the guy to be rude to me first. I'm not just rude to people for no reason!"

"Well fine, whatever."

The doorbell rang again. Shadow opened it. A little girl, all bundled up with a coat and mittens and a hat and boots and snow pants, was standing there with her mother or similar adult guardian.

"BLOODY HELL! A SMALL CHILD!!!" Shadow screamed, jumping backwards and hiding behind Hiei. "KEEP IT AWAY! THEY CARRY GERMS!!!"

"Excuse me, but our car broke down and--" the woman started. Hiei sighed.

"We're not giving you any money!" he said coldly, slamming the door in her face.

"WELL FINE, MISTER SCROOGE!" the woman yelled. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO COUNT YOUR COINS!"

"I WILL! IT'S MORE ENTERTAINING THAN TALKING TO YOU AND YOUR GERM-CARRYING CHILD!" Hiei screamed through the door.

"YEAH, WELL I HOPE THE GHOST OF CHRISTMAS PAST KILLS YOU! I BET YOUR CHRISTMAS PAST IS REALLY CRAPPY ANYWAY!!!"

"YEAH, RIGHT! I WOULDN'T KNOW! I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS WAS UNTIL A COUPLE WEEKS AGO!!!"

"THAT'S A LIE!"

"NO IT'S NOT! I LIVED A VERY ISOLATED LIFE!"

"Hiei, stop talking to the lady with the germ factory!" Shadow hissed.

"YEAH, RIGHT! LIKE I'LL BELIEVE THAT!"

"SCREW OFF, HAG!" Shadow screamed.

"WELL! YOU INSOLENT CHILD!"

There was a second voice outside the door, saying something to the woman. Shadow looked out the window.

"KURAMA!!!" she screamed, opening the door and grabbing his wrist. "You didn't touch the small child, did you?"

"No..."

"Good! They carry germs, you know!" Shadow said, dragging Kurama in the door. "Merry Christmas, happy New Year, oh, the joy is just flooding out of this house, you know what I mean?!"

Hiei had continued screaming at the woman outside the door. Kurama looked at his friend skeptically.

"Yeah, it's just so joyful. Hiei! Leave the woman alone!"

"Tell her to get away from my house!"

Kurama went to the door, said something quietly to the woman, and she turned and left so fast she slipped on a patch of ice and nearly broke her neck when she fell.

"That was cool. Thank you," Shadow said. "That kid's germs are probably still floating around out there. Be afraid. I can't open the door for a while..."

"What is it with you and germs, suddenly?" Hiei asked.

"I'm at war!"

"Oh. Congratulations."

"It's great, isn't it?"

"No. Being at war means I might have to get close to them, and I can't have that. I'll get sick."

"Oh no."

"Yeah, it's awful."

"I bet."

"Shut up, Hiei, I bet you've never gotten sick in your life!"

"No... There was this one time I was really sick... I--"

"Shut up! I don't care! Sickness has to do with germs! That's why I'm at war!"

"Shadow, shut up. Get a life," Kurama muttered.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SAID THAT!"

"I can," Hiei said. "Jackass."

"Am not."

"Yeah right."

"STOP ARGUING, FOR GOD'S SAKE!" Shadow yelled.

"Fine!"

"Eat some cookies. There's plenty," she said, pointing to the kitchen. One wall was stacked from the floor to the ceiling with cookie cans. "Wahoo for cookies!"

"Jeez, Shadow, where'd you get all those?" Kurama asked.

"I made them, duh," she replied, opening a can and stuffing her face with chocolate chip cookies.

"She really did," Hiei said. "It took her like... a week and a half. She did nothing but sit in here baking cookies and mixing up cookies and cutting cookies and she had me stand there and put them in cans as they got finished."

"Nuts."

The doorbell rang.

"Hiei! Answer that!" Shadow ordered, throwing cookie crumbs at him.

"You're cleaning that up, you know."

"It's Eclipse," Kurama said, looking out the window. Shadow jumped up, cookie ready, and opened the door.

"HAVE A COOKIE!" she shouted, ramming the cookie into Eclipse's mouth.

"Mmph! Gag hack choke! COOKIES!!!"

"Wahoo for cookies!"

"COOKIES!!!"

"WAHOO!!!"

"COOKIES!!!"

"WAHOO!!!"

"COOKIES!!!"

"WAH-- You wanna come in? You're letting out the heat," Shadow said abruptly. Eclipse walked inside.

"WAHOO! It's warm in here!"

"No kidding!"

"Hello, Kurama! Here, take my coat!" Eclipse ordered, thrusting her leather coat at Kurama. He still hadn't taken off his own coat. He grabbed Eclipse's and promptly handed it to Hiei, who handed it to Shadow.

"Wahoo! Eclipse's coat! I bet I can find a use for this!"

"HEY!" Eclipse grabbed the coat back and stomped away to hang it up.

"You know, I never can get used to how those two act together," Kurama muttered.

"No kidding. She's even more insane than normal when Eclipse is around," Hiei said.

"Is that possible?"

"Yes. It's scary."

"Hey, I am standing right here, you know," Shadow said. "It might be hard to believe, but I am."

"Yeah. Hi."

"SHADOW, WHAT THE HECK IS UP WITH THIS?!" Eclipse yelled from the living room. "YOU WENT A BIT OVERBOARD!!!"

Shadow walked towards the living room with Kurama and Hiei on her trail. They looked around.

The room was over-decorated. No. Over-decorated is an understatement.

There were lights around every edge on the walls, garland around the lights, every hard flat surface had at least one candle on it, there were miniature Christmas trees, wreaths, poinsettias, holly, and... OH MY GOD! Mistletoe!

Little figurines of snowmen and reindeer stood around wearing Santa hats. Fake snow lined the room and covered bits of furniture and windowsills. Also, on every hard flat surface was a little bowl full of candies.

There was one candle in each window.

"That... is definitely a fire hazard," Kurama said.

"Yeah, no kidding! Fire demon plus 800 candles equals NO NO NO NO NO!!!" Eclipse said, pointing at Hiei and a nearby candle. "And five plus two equals fish."

"He's not going to do anything but maybe light them," Shadow said. "Hiei's an innocent little guy, I don't see why you all think he's going to blow up this house. He lives in it too, you know."

"INNOCENT? Innocent my foot!" Eclipse yelled. "You just say that because you like him!"

"Like like how?"

"Like like love like, that's what like!"

"I DON'T LOVE HIM!"

"Bull crap."

"Yeah, I know. You're full of it."

"What? Me? Am not! You are!"

"Eclipse, if I loved Hiei, would I do this?!" Shadow asked. She punched Hiei.

"Ow!"

"Maybe," Eclipse said skeptically.

"Guys, would you not fight over Hiei anymore?" Kurama asked. "Seriously. It's very annoying."

"Jealous much?" Hiei asked.

"Shut up, Jaganshi, or I'll knock your teeth out," Kurama threatened. "I don't need to be jealous."

"Oh yeah, you're the slut of the Makai."

"HEY! THAT'S INNAPROPRIATE LANGUAGE, YOUNG MAN! WASH OUT YOUR MOUTH WITH SOAP!" Shadow yelled. "Besides, this isn't the Makai."

"IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE! STOP FIGHTING!" Eclipse yelled.

"She started it!" Shadow said, pointing at Eclipse. Everybody sweatdropped. Shadow suddenly stopped and ran into the kitchen.

"COOKIES!!!" she screamed. Everybody sweatdropped again. The doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Eclipse yelled. She grabbed a cup off the table and ran to the door.

"What's the cup for?" Hiei asked. Kurama shrugged.

Eclipse opened the door. Yusuke and Keiko stood there.

"Penny for the poor?" Eclipse asked, holding out the cup.

"BEGGAR! OUT OF MY HOUSE!" Shadow screamed, kicking her friend out the door. She slid off the porch and fell in a 4-foot-deep snow drift. "Hey Keiko, Yusuke... Want to come in? You're letting out the cold. I mean... letting out the warmth."

Yusuke and Keiko walked in. Eclipse tried to follow, but Shadow slammed the door in her face. She fell over backwards.

"Want a cookie? Or a chocolate? Or a candle? Want me to take your coat? Cold? Warm? Hot? Freezing? Tired? Happy? Want some hot chocolate? I got you all presents, but you can't have them until everyone is here. Want a chocolate? Want a cookie? How about a candle? Here, I'll take your coat. Want me to take your coat?" Shadow asked, shaking Yusuke's hand like she just met him. The doorbell rang.

"WHO IS IT?!"

"CAROLERS!" came Eclipse's voice.

"NOT INTERESTED!"

"I'll take your coats," Shadow offered, taking their coats. She turned around and handed them to Hiei. "Go hang those up."

Hiei grabbed the coats and sulked away, muttering something that sounded like 'slave driver' under his breath. Before Shadow could come back with anything, the doorbell rang again.

"Who is it?" Shadow asked.

"Fire department!"

"Wrong address!"

"Police!"

"I didn't do it!"

"Phone company!"

"I didn't call you!"

"Probably because your phones are out!"

"Nope. Try again!"

"Electric company! There was a report that your brain short circuited."

"Impossible! I don't have a brain!"

"Health department!"

"Yeah, you do your job so well! Do you know how many people in this world are sick!?"

"FBI!"

"Freaking Blotto Imbeciles?"

"CIA!"

"Caring Idiotic Animals?"

"ASPCA!"

"America's Stupidest People Can't Assist?"

"ASAP!"

"Anal Spaceprobes Are Perfect?"

There was a long pause.

"... Meals on wheels!"

"Meals under wheels!"

"Jehovah's Witnesses!"

Shadow pulled the door open and slammed Eclipse in the head with a baseball bat, then closed the door again.

"Suckers!" she shouted.

There was a pause, then suddenly the door flew open.

"It's unlocked! SUCKERS!" Eclipse yelled, walking inside. "I think I have pneumonia now."

"BLOODY HELL! GERMS!"

"Shadow, get a life," Hiei said, closing the door.

"Um... Guys?" Keiko said nervously.

"MAKE YERSELVZ AT HOME, HOMIES!!!" Shadow yelled, slapping Yusuke on the back.

"Homies?" Yusuke asked.

"Thas woot I sayed!"

"You sound really lame, Shadow."

"SHUTUP, EARTHLING!!! I WILL CALL MY ARMY OF MURDEROUS REINFORCED TITANIUM ALIEN INVADER SPOONS TO MURDER YOU!!!"

"Spoons?"

"Wahoo for murderous reinforced titanium alien invader spoons!"

"Wahoo for loony bins and paddy wagons!"

"Shut up, Hiei!"

"Fneh."

"You mean hn."

"No. I mean fneh."

"Whatever."

"So... What have you got to eat?" Yusuke asked. Shadow's eyes got big.

"COOKIES!!! WAHOO FOR COOKIES!"

"WOO COOKIES!" Eclipse shouted. The two girls ran into the kitchen.

"CHEESE!" Shadow screamed for apparently no reason, since there was no cheese in the kitchen.

"DOES NOT GO GOOD WITH FISH!" Eclipse added for apparently no reason, since nobody had said anything about fish.

"It doesn't? I wouldn't know. I don't eat fish."

"Well it doesn't."

"Wahoo for cheese not going with fish."

"Wahoo."

"Wahoo!"

"Wahoo."

"Wahoo!"

"Wahoo."

"Poosh!"

"Poosh?"

"Poosh!"

"Wahoo for poosh."

"Wahoo!"

"Wahoo."

"Wahoo!"

Everybody was staring at them. The girls didn't even notice. They continued with their wahoos and pooshes, pointing to random objects and saying 'wahoo for [insert random object]'. Finally, Hiei got sick of it.

"SHUT UP!" he yelled.

"Wahoo for shut up!" Shadow said.

"Wahoo!"

"Toaster! Wahoo for toasters!"

"Wahoo!"

"Wahoo!"

"Wahoo for cookie cans!"

"WAH- COOKIES! WAHOO FOR COOKIES!"

"SHUT UP ALREADY!" Hiei screamed. "SHUT UP AND EAT A COOKIE!" He grabbed Shadow by her ponytail and stuffed about three cookies into her mouth. He did the same to Eclipse. Both of them sat there trying to chew, but their mouths were stuck. Eventually, they managed to get their faces back to normal.

Just in time to answer the door again!

"I'LL GET IT!!!" Shadow yelled. She leapt in front of the door and glared at Kurama, who had been reaching for the knob.

"MY DOOR! BUZZ OFF, FOX BOY!" she yelled. She turned around, occasionally shooting angry looks over her shoulder, and pulled open the door. Kuwabara and Shizuru stood there.

"Hey, Shadow!" Kuwabara said. Shadow was cowered down. She glanced back over her shoulder.

"Come in... At your own risk..." she whispered. "People in this house try to answer the door..."

Kuwabara and his sister stared at Shadow like she was insane. Then again, wouldn't you stare at somebody funny if she answered the door glaring at people and saying they tried to answer the door, like it's a horrible and inhuman thing to do?

"Yeah... Can we come in? It's cold out here," Kuwabara said. Shadow smiled and went back to normal.

"Oh, sure! Come right in! Wahoo for coming in!" she said. Eclipse echoed.

"Wahoo!"

"Kuwabara! Be afraid! It's horrible! They're... They're... WAHOO-ING!!!" Yusuke shouted, like that was a horrible and inhuman thing to do too.

"Um... Are you sure this is a Christmas party?" Kuwabara asked.

Let the insanity begin... I mean... it already has, but it will continue... Next chapter. Who knows, it might even get worse. The horror. Told you it would be strange.