This is an omake my proofreader Petran decided to write after reading my fic. I helped edit and add a few things, but the overall work is his. Much thanks, Petran! If you readers liked it, show your gratitude by reading some of his fics!
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OMAKE: So what did they get for Christmas?
By Petran
Ah, Christmas! It's that wonderful time of the year again! When families gather around to exchange love and gifts. When crappy Christmas movies hit the theaters. When the pop-groups and singers that are "hot" this year (before they suddenly grow "cold" the next) decide to release a special Christmas song that will bring warmth to our hearts and nausea to our stomachs.
It's Christmas time everywhere and Santa has finished delivering presents. It's time for him to take a bit of rest until next year.
A lot of stories have been told about how Santa and co. deliver their presents but almost none about what happens to people after he delivers them, that magic moment when they open their presents. This short little story will attempt to do just that.
Our first stop is the residence of one Kobe Hitoshi and his beloved, Namba Saati (there was also the rest of their household, but since they were still asleep, we'll just check on the lovely couple).
"Gross! Next time you get into the bathroom, would you mind flushing?"
"Sorry, but it was 4 o' clock at night. I really didn't want to wake you up."
"Yeah, right! Look, just keep it mind next time, all right?"
"OK, OK, I won't do it again," lied Hitoshi. "By the way, did you happen to trim your eyebrows and wear a Santa Suit last night?"
Saati looked at him the way you look at a crazy man singing Deck The Halls in public with his pants down while flapping his arms like a chicken. "No, why?"
"Just had this weird dream…" Hitoshi looked around and his eyes landed on the gifts that Santa and Mai left the other night. "Aw, you shouldn't have! You bought us gifts!"
"What?"
"They're over there! Shall we open them?"
Saati sweatdropped. She didn't know who placed the gifts by their Christmas tree. She knew that she didn't. Nevertheless, her beloved Hitoshi was, for some reason, happy with her, so she didn't point this out.
"Shall we open them?"
"Sure! Why not?"
"Merry Christmas Saati-chan."
"Merry Christmas Hitoshi-kun."
Saati opened her present to reveal a video tape. The Uranus Experiment? Oh, it has astronauts! I love science fiction movies! I don't know who this J.T. Long guy is but I'll check it out!
Hitoshi quickly unwrapped his present. The box was fairly big, so he was curious what was inside. Maybe it's a laptop! Or a brand new desktop! Maybe it the latest DVD-Recorder! Or…
Hitoshi's eyes grew wide in amazement as he finished unwrapping his gift.
"Diapers? Diapers?! DIAPERS??!!! ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME SOMETHING?"
-o-o-o-
We now leave the young now-arguing couple to visit a very familiar all-girls dorm.
"No, Suu" said Keitaro, who was struggling to keep Su from getting to her presents, "you can't use them now."
"Why not?"
"First of all," Keitaro picked up several fireworks. "Fireworks are traditionally used during the New Year celebrations. And second of all," the manager of Hinata-sou then looked tiredly at the rather large container with several nuclear hazard signs. "having a nuclear reactor is not a good idea. Especially around this place."
"I get the thing about using them on New Year, but why can't I use a nuclear reactor?"
"Just trust me on this." He began putting the fireworks away. "We'll use the fireworks on New Year! OK?"
Suu pouted. "OK."
"And I'll buy you a pack of Bananas"
Suu cheered up again "Okies!"
"Lets go back inside, shall we?"
"What about the reactor?"
Keitaro looked at that particular gift again. "I'll. . .I'll deal with that later." 'And hopefully before the government finds out!'
The two walked inside to find all the other residents ready to open their presents.
"Oh, I just love surprises!" said a cheerful Kitsune.
"Then you are going to love this one" said Kanako with a serious tone "We-have-no-liquor."
"What?!"
"You're too gullible sometimes." Kanako then gave Kitsune an evil smile. Kitsune wasn't sure if she liked this. Sure, Kanako had gotten a bit softer and a bit friendlier ever since she accepted Keitaro's and Naru's relationship, but her jokes were a bit… well… vicious, at times.
"Don't scare me like that!"
"I wonder what onii-san has gotten me this year."
"Probably a pack of sweets." This time it was Kitsune's turn to grin as Kanako's face dropped. "Now who's the sucker!"
The resident's one-by-one opened their presents.
"A sword-maintenance set!"
"A new rock-face! Thanks dork!"
"A Greek Watermelon!"
"A Banana pack!"
"A frying pan!"
Last to open their present's were the couple of the Hinata-House, Keitaro and Naru.. They both looked lovingly at each other and decided to open their gifts at the same time. Keitaro opened his gift to find a copy of "Liddo-Kun: The Manga" inside.
"Oh, Narusegawa, it's wonderful! How about you? What do you…" Keitaro sweat-dropped as he laid his eyes on the girl he was in love with. Her look of love had been replaced by one of pure anger. She had her "Naru-Demon-Eyes" on. She was definitely not happy. "…think?"
"What do I think? What do I think? We are a couple for so long and you buy me something like this for Christmas?!"
Meanwhile Kitsune was done opening her present, which was quite big. When she laid her eyes upon a "Liddo-Kun Buddy" doll, and then saw Naru beating the pulp out of Keitaro she reached the obvious conclusion.
"I think our presents got mixed up."
-o-o-o-
In our final trip today, we visit a house on Number 29 Sakuragaoka 4th District.
"Why, didn't we stay for the Christmas party, Master?" asked Chachamaru.
"Because, watching a gang of teenage girls dragging an underage wizard and playing 'Strip-Twister' with him is not something I consider fun."
"Could it be that Master didn't like seeing her apprentice get humiliated?"
"I don't care about the little brat. He can dive into a pool full of panties for all I care," Evangeline scoffed.
"Master! Master! Can I open my gift?" cried an anxious Chachazero.
"Sure, why not?"
"Oh, goodie!"
Chachazero unsheathed her knife and cut through the wrapping.
"Iron Maiden! Excellent!"
"You know I don't like heavy metal music, Chachazero."
"No, a real iron maiden!" The magical doll began looking at the innards of the torture device. "Ooooh, pointy! And it's the model that I wanted!"
"Chachazero?"
"It was listed on the 'Chillin' Like a Villain' a column of 'Evil Illustrated' as the 'Top Gift to buy yourself if you win the lottery and want one of your enemies tortured to death! It's the best Christmas ever!"
"Chachazero! I'm glad you like your gift, but keep it down! I'm getting a headache. How about you, Chachamaru, what did you get?"
Chachamaru didn't say anything. She just had an embarrassed look on her face as she laid her eyes upon a pair of brand new underwear.
"Oh well, might as well, check out my gift as well." Evangeline unwrapped her gift and found…
"Garlic Perfume? With special Leek extract? Who the was the one that decided I should get Garlic Perfume for Christmas?" her face started going red with anger as she…
"Hey you!"
Who?
"You, the one in the back who is writing this!"
Uhm… Me?
"Yes, you! I know you're out there! I know you're the one who decides who gets what in this omake! Just what do you think you're doing here?"
Well, I am just trying to write a humorous story, and I thought that it would funny, if you received some garlic perfume as a Christmas gift.
"Yeah, funny. Ha-Ha-Ha." (The vampire mage turns to Chachazero) "Chachazero, I think you should check if that iron maiden works properly. I'm sure this fellow here can help you out."
Uhm… What?
"Yeah!" (The doll grins) "C'mere, mister."
Uhm… No…
"Chachazero?"
"Yes, master?"
"Attack."
AAAAAAAAGGGGHH!!!!!
(Eva turns to the writer of the original story) "Aren't you going to help your proof-reader?"
Hell no. I like all of my body parts intact, thank you
"Good boy. Merry Christmas everyone."
NOT THE NOSE! NOT THE NOSE!
"And a Happy New Year."
END