Harry Potter And The Imprisoning War
Copyright: I, The Author do hereby proclaim that I do not own The Harry Potter World. It is owned by J.K. Rowling, Scholastic Books, and The W.B. Enterprises. I DO on the other hand, own a good deal of new things introduced in the book. Although I do not own them right and proper with a copyright, I would ask anyone to use my ideas to ask permission to use them.
Chapter 12: What a War is like
As soon as Harry had uttered those words, he saw the Flying Fusiliers captain give the command.
"Battalion, ATTACK!!!!"
And at that he saw the Fusiliers line their guns were on the verge of fire, but it was too late for them.
"Snitchguards, OPEN FIRE!!!!!!"
At this command, about one hundred blasts were fired and the Fusiliers were felled like mad.
"No!" Ron said. "Someone, anyone fire!"
Some men were preparing to fire, but The Balladeer said "Stop, no fire, hold your guns!" And the troops (knowing The Balladeer better) returned their guns to their shoulders.
"What're you doing!?" Ron said in panic. "We've got to help them or they'll all die!"
"We can't fire until their men have their whole divided attention on the Fusiliers, it may be cruel." The Balladeer added in Ron's stunned face. "But it will give us a chance to have at least one barrage at them before they attack us."
Ron (still shocked) understood and looked fearfully at the bloodshed. It went on for fifteen minutes. Until the Flying Fusiliers (which was at first, a healthy fifty) now a weakly five. (Three soldiers, the captain and the colour guard.) Whilst the Snitchguards had lost but only one man. The Snitchguards then stood still when their captain raised his hand.
"Snitchguard Corps!" The captain called. "Order... ARMS!!!"
The Snitchguards then returned their rifled to their shoulders.
"Eyes, Fusiliers Captain!"
The one hundred and nineteen heads then turned to the captain of the Fusiliers.
The Snitchguard captain called for two men to come forward.
"I want the Fusiliers bonded and their captain brought to me... MOVE!!!"
The soldiers then grabbed thick twenty pound chains and bonded the captain, soldiers, and colour guard. The men came forth and grabbed the captain, grunting "C'mon Captain Horridliver." They then dragged him forward and threw him to the ground. All eyes still on the Fusiliers captain, the soldiers saluted then retook their places in the front line.
The Snitchguard captain than turned to the Fusiliers captain and started on him.
"You are scum" he said in pure loathing. "You and your lot were always scum. I even remember before either of us was separated into opposite corps of military. Your lot were always the best at everything before there was even were Flying Fusiliers, Snitchguards, a Gutted Fox, even before Fred and George the Burglars were famous. You were brilliant at every damn thing. The studies, swimming, races across the village, and you people always got the best of everything from your parents and the headmaster. And we got the worst of everything. We Snitchguards are men who have no purpose until we are recruited from Farmer Tom. He was the one who supplied us a reason to live. Because your men have killed Farmer Tom, those poor men who have yet to be recruited will be forced to live lives of mockery, misery, and poverty. And see how he has given us power. He trained us for the days when he would have no burglars robbing his stores and disturbing his peace. And see how nearly all of his enemies have been killed. All through Farmer Tom's strength. I will allow you an apology if you kiss the bottom of my boots."
He then lifted his boot where there were feces, smashed maggots, spittle, and mud.
The Fusilier captain then responded in a little above a whisper. "I've got enough shit on m' lips without kissin' your boots." (This earned him a well placed slap from the Snitchguard captain and a barrage of insults.) And your lot in the Snitchguard Corps aren't any better with you than in poverty. Your people are pitiful sadists of Satan. You rape women for normal pleasure, you infest in decay, you pray to the darkness, you ingest maggots and their sons, sons slime, and you have no love for children, and rather your own guns and your "God like" deliverer from poverty Farmer Tom. You would shatter the Cross and murder all before saluting to the light, you are pitiful, and you're ugly. We do not rape. You're lot deserve death you know that don't you? You have no purpose but to kill, so you shall be killed."
The Snitchguard captain said only one word.
"How?"
"What?"
"How are you going to kill us? As you may not have noticed there are five of you and over one-hundred of us. How in any way possible you could kill us? Go on, tell me, I have no where to go. Please."
The Fusilier Captain answered in two words (Winking to the Pubgoers regiment) "Like so."
At that, twenty shots rang out and hit twenty men in the back lines of the Snitchguards dead on.
There was mass chaos in the Snitchguard corps. There were shouts of surprise, anger, and fear, and some were in such panic they shot their guns in panic taking out some of their comrades.
"ORDER!" The Snitchguard captain shouted. "I DEMAND ORDER!!!!"
Most of the Snitchguards took heed and aimed their guns (without order) to the pubgoers, but too late, another barrage of bullets from the side of The Gutted Fox killing off another twenty. The Snitchguard captain was so furious and confused; he shot another man to receive order. But for all the good it did, he could've jus stood still, doing nothing. For there was still chaos, after a third barrage (This time fifteen were shot.) they were starting to get their act together and started reclaiming their lines. Before the Pubgoers could reload their guns, they saw the Snitchguards entering their firing positions.
"SNITCHGUARDS!!!" the captain shouted. "REA DY.... F-"
He never finished that word, because at that moment, he was distracted by a corpse being lifted on a flagpole by a group of nude women dancing madly. When sunrise lit the earth behind the pub, the sun shone on the body showing who it was.
Farmer Tom.
"AAAAHHHHRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!!!"
The Captain ran away yelling. "SATANIC APPARITIONS, RUN FOR YOUR BLESSED LIVES!!!!!!!!!!." And he fled for the farm, with the rest of them screaming and running like him. But at the edge of the Veil of Safety, they met up with something they did not expect.
BANG!
The sound of over two hundred guns sounded sadly none of them were killed and they fled to the farm. And over the hill were two hundred and fifty men marching forward, a gold banner reading
THE PROUD 5TH "IRON COMPANY" OF GREATER ST. CATCHPOLE UNDERAGE ARMY CORPS
There were many cheers from the Pubgoers as the Iron Company marched along with their guns out, cheering and whooping. And the captain, (a well built Englishman with a purely white military uniform.) was riding on a horse yelling. "Hello there!!! Barney, y'auld drunkard!!!"
"TOMMY!!" Barney called. "HOW'RE YA YA AULD WHITECOAT!?"
As they reached the middle of the field. They embraced each other as old friends would.
"Good ter sees ya matey." Barney said. "Good ter sees ya."
"And I you." "Tommy" said. "Shall we take part in the sport we always wanted to do since the Snitchguards were formed?"
Barney smirked at his friend. "You're on." He said. Then he shouted to his regiment. "HEY LADS!!! HOW'S BOOT WE GOES SNITCH HUNTIN'?"
Wild cheers and shouts returned.
"Right!"
"We'll kill em' all!"
"Blast em' all ter Hell!"
They then ran to Veil of Safety and the combined soldiers came forth. (The Flying Fusilier Captain running to meet up with everybody.) And all the captains, (Including the Weasley's and Harry shouted a motto which was soon to be noted as the greatest Military triumph of any underage Military army in Britain and Europe.
"To Me! All to Me! To me all of my allies and friends! TO ME ALL OF MY FAMILY AND KINSFOLK!"
As they ran over the hill, the Snitchguards were piling into the gate to the farm, sealing the great wooden doors which were always open unless it was an emergency, and this was an emergency. They banged the doors shut and quickly went through out the farm to gather what little fire power they hadn't mustered before. They weren't scared. But angry, they had never been so badly beaten into retreat they now were in; they were planning to kill off as many enemies before they were killed off.
"Get the cannons, blockade the entrance, and make stand the wolfhounds, ready to strike, ON THE DOUBLE!" The captain shouted out in mad anger.
"YES SIR!" came the reply.
The captain was disturbed, 'Who'd expect their high leader to hang from a flagpole like a sack of potatoes with their weakened sex slaves dancing around him? Not me!' That was ensured. He would've done it to the opposing side (subtract the mad girls) but he never knew the opposition was as guileless as he was. With this in mind, he continued orders to fortify the defences and the gates.
"C'mon!" Barney and Tommy shouted at twenty men, who had a large tree to use as a battering ram. "Ifinaya's break the gate!" Barney shouted at them. "I'll make sure youse gets all the root beer y'can drink! NOW MOVE!!"
"YES, CAPTAIN!" they shouted and with that glorious prize in their mind they continued battering with hopes of glory and free drinks.
"THE GATE IS BREAKING!!! REINFORCE THE GATES ON THE DOUBLE!"
"YES SIR!"
'The gate won't break' the Snitchguard captain assured hisself. 'The gate won't brake.'
He was wrong.
CRUNCH!
The gates and hold-ups splintered and shattered to fragments. The Pubgoers, Iron Regiment, and almost nonexistent Flying Fusiliers. Charged into to meet a line of artillery and the three wolf hounds Stinkbreath, Sharptooth, and Wolfhound. They then saw the Snitchguard captain in front looking scared, but superior.
"You are at your final march." He said. "Surrender and you will be killed. Fight and you will be killed. Have the captains any last words to speak?"
Bill than took one step forward and said. "Nothing your dirty ears have to hear. Your perverse ways will make your ears think I said I had a prostitute for sale to you."
The army laughed, The Snitchguards raised their rifles to fire. But about twenty men in the army thought of the same thing and fired at the Snitchguards. The people holding the hounds were shocked and let go of the chains.
The dogs went in a barking frenzy and ran for their choice of meat and tore them to shreds. Luckily, they couldn't fit more than one human in their mouths. Harry, (who had no idea why he did such a thing, and never would.) ran in frenzy at the hound named Sharptooth. He was rightly named as his teeth were as long as daggers and twenty fold sharper. Harry then jutted the point of the flagpole into the right eye of the wolfhound and drove it through to the back of its skull.
Blood squirted from its eye and Harry jerked the flagpole out. The flag drenched partly in the hound's blood. The Wolfhound yelped around in blinding pain and ran straight for its own troops tearing into uneven and ragged shreds of bloody uniform and flesh.
The troops, emboldened by Harry's bravery, ran straight onward to the troops whilst the Snitchguard troops fled for the main farmhouses. Their forces (once a healthy hundred and twenty. Now a meagre eighty-two) however, never got to the farmhouse...
The army had raced and slaughtered them to nothing. The wolfhounds were killed and their heads chopped to which they were trophies of war which still stand over the mantle of the Gutted Fox Pub and the Stinking Hide Pub fireplaces. (The Stinking Hide pub in Greater St. Catchpole.)
They had no cheer which was loud enough to show their jubilation. But first they needed to take care of their rival captain (who saw fit to flee.)
A private saw fit to grab him and (struggling all the while) bring him to his captain. (The Iron Brigade)
"Well done, Private!" Captain Tom said in respect. "Expect a hero's welcome back in Greater St. Catchpole!"
The excited twelve year old saluted saying "Ah' can 'ardly wait, Sir!" He returned his hand and returned to his line. Captain Thomas than turned to the Snitchguard captain with an angry, stony expression. "I have nothing to say to you but I am sorry for you."
The Snitchguard Captain spat on his boots and said. "I do not need sorrows."
Captain Thomas than raised his gun and said "So be it."
And he raised his rifle and shot the head off of who was known as Captain Rudolph Hanson-Mussolini.
There are some things in life (as what had happened before Rudolph's death) that could not merit cheers, But this was onetime where that rule was broken. The noise from the Army was sworn to be heard from a Mrs. McClain in Scotland. And as they cheered. Barney shouted over all "BACK TER ME PUB FER FREE DRINKS!!!!" And so they marched up to his pub where enough Root Beer was drunk to fill all the dry rivers, lakes, and forgotten seas of the world.
At five in the morning, (In which The Weasley's and Harry's barrel of Vanilla Crème Porter had been long since drunken and expelled in the urinals.) the door to the pub opened and in walked... Hermione.
"Who ordered the entertainment!?" A private from the Iron Brigade called.
The entire pub laughed. Hermione was redder than blood.
She walked up to Harry and the Weasley's and said agitated "Where have you been!?"
"Hmmm... let's see" Ron said half drunk. "We raided one of the most evil farmer Muggles in the world. HIC! Found about a... 'tundred nude prostitutes. Rescued them. HIC! Found ourselves in a great big HIC! gun line. Then got in a HUGE HIC ! BATTLE. NEARLY KILLING OURSELVES! BUT WE WON!!!!" And the entire crowd cheered wildly.
Hermione knew in her mind he was lying and said sarcastically. "Right Ron. Well, the war veterans better get back to their houses and in bed because their mother will be home ANY MINUTE."
This broke Harry's lapse of half-drunkenness.
"WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR THEN!?" George shouted. And they sped out of the pub to speedy farewells and Barney shouting drunkenly. "WAIT! I FERGOT TER GIVE YE A PRESENT!" As they ran upside the entire town. They heard the church bells ringing the fifth hour. They then saw that Fred and George had Apparated home. This made the rest of them sprint towards the Burrow which was now in sight and they crashed through the door into their rooms fell into their beds and pretended to be asleep.
There were two loud cracks as Mr. and Mrs Weasley Apparated into the kitchen. Harry then kept his eyes open just a crack (difficultly, because he so now desired to sleep.)
"Molly, dear, would you like me to check on the children?" Mr. Weasley asked.
"I think we can trust that they are in bed Arthur" Mrs. Weasley said tiredly. "What do you expect? That they've been fighting in a war?"
"I see Molly, dear" Arthur said. "I suppose we'd have better time sleeping. We've only got maybe an hour's sleep until seven. Then everybody needs to get ready for the Hogwarts Express."
And while the Weasley parents went to bed. Harry lapsed himself into unconsciousness and (thanks to his tiredness, the aftermath of the adrenaline from the battle and drinking half a gallon of Root Beer, he did not have any interrupting dreams.
End Chapter.
Hello! Have you all been sleeping well? I've been! But my school days aren't as enjoyable. I'm SO SORRY THIS IS SO LATE! Please forgive me! I thought of splitting this chapter into two peaces. But there wouldn't have been enough material. So it now one large chapter which is seven pages according to my computer. I will try to get the next chapter up ASAP. BE PREPARED FOR A TWIST!"