Later in the night, Wario began tossing and turning before eventually waking up. The first thing he heard was the bell in the bell tower ring once.
"Wha... Eh? What the..." Wario mumbled, still half asleep, "Its 1AM? Wasn't that when Waluigi said... No! Impossible! That was just a bad dream! I still have to pound the butcher's face in for giving me that bad bacon! I am most certainly not going to be visited by any ghosts, and that's final!"
"Oh, yeah?"
Wario's heart (if he had one) stopped for about half a minute after hearing someone actually replying to his denial. Suddenly, the curtain he was facing (it was a canopy bed) was pulled aside to reveal who Wario suspected was one of the ghosts.
The ghost was a female toad with pink spots on her little mushroom head. Hanging off the sides of her head were pigtails that had tiny pink 'shrooms on their tips. Also, she seemed to be glowing as she approached Wario and began to address him.
"Hello, Wario. I am the Ghost of Christmas Past."
"Eh... Do I have to call you that all the time? Cuz 'Ghost of Christmas Past' is quite a mouthful. Can I call you Pasty or something?"
"Boy, you're as annoying as they said you'd be... Anyway, if you must, you can call me Spirit. I don't like it as much as 'Ghost of Christmas Past' but it's sure as heck better than 'Pasty'."
"Ok, Pasty it is! Now, what do you want?"
"Do you want me to hurt you?"
"Gee, you have a 'tude, don'tcha?"
"Well, it's the only way to get through your thick skull. To answer your first question, I'm here for your welfare."
"My what!?" stumbled a clueless Wario.
"Welfare: Noun. Health, happiness, and general well-being."
"I'm still confused..."
"I'M HERE TO SAVE YOUR BUTT, OK!?"
"Yikes! Ok! Got it! But, um, how are you gonna do that?"
"Let me show you." The spirit (or "Pasty", but we'll stick with Spirit) answered as she walked towards the window, "Well, what are you waiting for? Get up."
"Um, hold up there, Pasty..." Wario grumbled, getting out of bed and joining the spirit at the window, "I don't think jumping out a window is gonna help my 'welfare' too much..."
"If you hold my hand, nothing will happen."
Wario squeezed the spirit's hand so hard he almost cut off her blood circulation (if spirits had one, anyway).
"Let me rephrase that..." The spirit moaned impatiently, "Nothing bad will happen."
"Dang."
When Wario was done complaining, they walked through the wall. On the other side was not the city, like Wario expected, but rather a country side. After a moment of thought, Wario realized where he was.
"Hey, I remember this place!" Wario shouted, practically jumping up and down with excitement, "This was where I was born!"
"Yes, such humble beginnings..." The spirit mumbled sarcastically, "Whatever happened...? Anyhow, do you remember the way to the village?"
"Remember it!? I could walk it with my eyes closed! Unless, of course, someone dug a big hole in the middle of the road, then I might not make it, but aside from that..."
While Wario continued to ramble, the spirit dragged him towards the nearby town. Along the way, Wario's babble soon turned from describing how well he knew how to get to town to him recognizing all the houses and trees and people they met. At one point, Wario tried to talk to one of the people he remembered fondly.
"Hiya!" Wario addressed a toad, "Haven't seen you in ages! How have you been?"
The toad made no reply.
"Um... I said 'how have you been?'"
No reply.
"You know..." Wario growled, quickly losing his temper, "When I talk to people, I expect them to answer!"
Wario attempted to whack the toad upside the head, but instead of making contact, his hand went right through the toad!
"Wha...?" Wario wondered.
"They are just ghosts of the past, you moron." The spirit explained rather bluntly, "They can't see you."
The spirit's dry comments didn't hamper Wario's extreme happiness about being home. It was kinda weird, Wario, who hated Christmas, was as excited as some of the villagers walking around! Of course, the spirit managed to bring him down to earth (she really seemed to be made to lecture at Wario!).
"You know, you seem rather happy to be here now. Where were you when this was actually happening?"
Wario's smile immediately faded as he realized what the spirit was referring to.
She led him to a schoolhouse on a hill near the town and showed him inside. It was one of those old fashioned ones with the red wooden walls and a small bell on the top. The inside was walled and floored with dark wood and contained rows of desks facing a blackboard. The desks were empty, with the exception of one with a small child working tediously on some schoolwork. Even though the child looked as innocent as any other, Wario realized that it was... himself.
"That's... That's... me..." Wario stuttered, "I practically never left the school! The other kids used to make fun of me..."
Wario's statement was proven correct when a snowball flew through a window, went through Wario's head (since he really wasn't in the "past", par se), and went splat! against young Wario's face. When he (young Wario) looked around to see who hit him, he saw a young Mario with an evil grin waving at him from outside the window.
"Yo! Wario!" Mario shouted, "Ya gonna sit in there all day, reading that stupid book or what!? What a nerd! Ha ha!"
"Grr..." (adult) Wario grumbled as he watched (young) Mario run off, "That jerk. Well, he's my slave... erm... subordinate now, so HA to you!"
Young Wario was about to break down and cry when the classroom door opened and in stepped a young Yoshi. The Yoshi was holding a red berry in his little hands and when he approached young Wario, he placed the berry on his desk.
"I... I remember that Yoshi! When I was all alone, he came in and said hi! And, if I recall, he had two brothers! Yeah! There was that punk one, I think his name was Boshi, and his baby brother... What was his name again? Ah, yes! He called himself 'The Great Gonzales Jr.'! Didn't one of those three get hitched to Birdo? Who woulda thunk..." Wario trailed off.
"You ok there?" The spirit asked.
"Gee... It's nothing. I just realized that I kinda treated a caroler a little harshly yesterday. Methinks I shoulda been a little kinder to him..."
"You are getting a little soft, ya know."
"Wha... YIKES! I mean... um... forget that! Can we go home now?"
"No..." The spirit replied, knowing that she was getting through to him, "Let's see another Christmas!"
As soon as the spirit said these words, the world seemed to go in fast-forward. The classroom, and young Wario, aged considerably. By the time everything slowed down, the school was on the border of being considered run-down and "young" Wario was now a teenager (Wario as a teenager... Scary, huh?). Teenage Wario was still doing schoolwork when the door opened and a young girl came running in and hugged Wario, nearly pulling him off his seat.
"Wario!" The little girl shouted jumping up and down clapping to her own little beat, "I've come to bring you home, brother! You can come home! Home, HOME, HOME!!!"
"Home, sis?" Teenage Wario asked, "I can come home?"
"You bet! It's a whole lot nicer at home now! And Dad said that you have had enough school and that you're ready to get apprenticed! You'll never have to come back here again! Of course, we'll be together for Christmas before you have to get a job, it will be a most merry time!"
"You are quite the little woman, Miss Éclair." Wario replied.
Wario slammed his schoolbook for the final time and threw it halfway 'cross the room. He leaped off his chair and was in the process of running out the door with Éclair when he was stopped abruptly by his teacher: Professor Elvin Gadd.
"You're leaving me, eh?" Gadd questioned, handing Wario the book he just nearly wiped him out with, "Well, I can't blame you. This schoolhouse is on the verge of collapsing anyway, and I taught you all you will probably need to know. Good luck out there and Merry Christmas!"
"And a Merry Christmas to you too, sir!" Wario yelled as a reply while Éclair dragged him out the door.
"Éclair was a kind, gentle soul." The spirit commented to the present day Wario who was watching his past self walk out the door with his sis, "It's a shame she died in childbirth, isn't it?"
"Yeah..." Wario mumbled in shame, "At least the child was ok."
"True... That child is your nephew, Luigi!"
While Wario thought about this, the scene changed again, but this time, the place changed, not just the time. Now, they were in the city streets. Wario looked around, trying to figure out where he was this time when he heard disco music coming from somewhere nearby. This was enough for Wario to figure out what point of his life he was in and he ran towards the source of the music, kicking snow up into the spirit's face. When he reached the source, it turned out to be Club Sugar, a disco club who's owner Wario knew very, very well. Sure enough, when Wario busted through the doors, his old boss was there, working as the DJ while tons of other people were dancing to Christmas disco.
"Why... Why..." Wario stuttered as the spirit just walked in, "It's my old boss, Jimmy T.! Heh, kinda ironic now that he works for me..."
"Oh, yeah!" Jimmy hollered to the group of enthusiastic dancers, "Now THAT'S the Jingle Bell Rock, baby! How 'bout we cool things down with a little slow jazz?"
Soon, a jazzy version of "Winter Wonderland" began playing and, while some people (mostly couples) kept dancing, most returned to the tables that dotted the outside of the dance floor and began ordering their dinner. Unfortunately, only one waiter wearing skates was rolling around, trying to take everybody's orders and failing miserably. It might have been the fact that he was trying to wear an afro wig that blocked his vision. That was when Wario realized who the loser was.
"That's ME!?" Wario screamed, "I wore a FRO!? What the heck was I thinkin'?"
"Actually..." The spirit corrected, "The question should be: What was your boss thinking?"
"Oh yeah... Maybe that was why I brought that stupid disco, so no one would have to go through that horror again."
While present day Wario was ranting, fro-wearin' Wario had just took a break and was sitting at the bar, ordering some chuckola cola. Then, fro Wario noticed a rather attractive girl sitting next to him. He tried to talk to her, but he just couldn't get the words out. Luckily, she started the conversation for him.
"So, you hang out here often?" The girl asked.
"Um... Yeah, I kinda work here..." Wario stumbled.
"You idiot," present Wario grumbled, "That is NOT the way to get the girls! What a moron!"
"Is that why you wear that fro wig?" The girl continued.
"Yeah, the boss makes me wear it, to be in character or something."
"Well, I don't like it." The girl stated flatly as she pulled his wig off, "What's your name, anyway?"
"Uh... Wario. And yours?"
"Mona." The girl replied, looking at the dance floor, "You wanna dance?"
"WHAT!? I mean... Sure!" Wario shouted as he pulled his roller skates off, "I'd be honored! I think they're doing 'Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire' next..."
The "odd couple" of Wario and Mona walked away from the bar and on to the dance floor. Strangely enough, they weren't that bad at dancing at all, and soon a small crowd of spectators were watching them. Present day Wario watched it all with a small smile on his face.
"My, isn't this such a waste of time and money!" The spirit exclaimed sarcastically.
"Whadaya mean a waste!?" Wario shouted, starting to sound like himself from the past rather than the present, "I was happy! Happiness is worth whatever it takes!"
Wario went quiet for a second.
"What's the matter now?" The spirit questioned.
"Well... I'm just thinking about how mean I am to that Mario guy. Maybe I should be kinder to him from now on..."
Wario continued to watch his past self dance. As the song slowly came to a close, past Wario and Mona were close together, as if they were about to kiss.
"Aw, gee... Mona..." Present Wario sighed, "She was the best thing to ever happen to me..."
"Oh, really now?" The spirit mocked, "Look, my time grows short, so allow me to show you what, apparently, was the best thing that ever happened to you."
The scene changed again, and this time it was in a foggy, snow-covered park. On a park bench sat a Wario who was clearly already becoming the greedy old miser that he was presently and a tear-filled Mona. The spirit didn't say anything, she just let Wario listen in on his past-self's conversation.
"S-So that's it then?" Sobbed Mona, "Just because I can't pay off that loan, you're forcing me into bankruptcy?"
"You got a problem with that?" Sneered Wario, "Money is the only thing that matters. The man who dies with the most toys wins, and I'm not going to allow myself to be a loser. It was my money you borrowed, it's not my fault that you blew it on worthless stuff."
"I needed it for a missions trip to Rougeport!" Mona protested, "It wasn't worthless! It led lots of people to Christ!"
"Yay for you. Did any of them suddenly become rich from it? No? Then what was the point?"
"There's more to life than money."
"Like breathing? How 'bout you die then and save my planet's oxygen?"
"WARIO! Don't you remember the dance!? Whatever happened to you?"
"I grew up."
"So?"
"I know more now, like that the only thing that matters is how big your bank account is. I don't need any of your frivolous things, like love or mercy or Jesus..." Wario emphasized the last word like it was some sort of foreign disease, "So if you have a problem with that, I suggest you make like a toad in Forever Forest and GET LOST!!!"
"So, you don't love me anymore?" Mona asked.
Wario didn't feel a ping of remorse when he gave his reply, "No."
"F-Fine..." Mona shuttered as she stood up and walked off. As she was about to disappear from sight, she turned around and shouted, "May you be happy with the life you now lead!"
"And now," The spirit began, looking at the pain in Wario's (present day Wario, of course) face, "She has to work for you to pay off that same debt. Isn't it all so perfect?"
"Spirit..." Wario whispered, not realizing that, for the first time, he didn't call her Pasty, "Why are you getting such kicks outta torturing me!?"
"These are just shadows of your past. Don't blame me!"
Wario lost his temper at this point. He grabbed the spirit by her pigtails and hoisted her up to his eye-level.
"I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF THESE 'SHADOWS'!!! I'M GETTIN SICK OF THEM! TAKE ME BACK! NOW!!!"
When the spirit didn't reply, Wario started swinging his arm, ready to punch the spirits lights out. However, when he brought his fist towards the spirit, she disappeared and in her place was Wario's bedpost!
"HOLY FRIGGIN' SHROM!!!" Wario screamed as he pulled his fist out of the wooden pole, "OW OW OW OW OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!"
When the pain finally died down, Wario took another look at his bed and suddenly felt really sleepy. Without much motivation, Wario pulled himself into the bed, under the covers, and fell into a deep sleep.