Author's note:
Hey everyone. It's been a long time since I last wrote a Senru Fic. It was, probably, 9 months ago….anyway…
This is a Christmas fic. Hope you like it….
Disclaimer: I do not own SD and its gorgeous boys. sigh I wish I did.
I'll Be Home….
-hagaki Ozuno
It's dark. It's cold. It's Christmas.
But it's empty.
The streets and the buildings may be full of Christmas lights. People may flood the streets, along with blissful smiles on their faces. Christmas, as my mother would always say, is a time of love. It is a time where we forgive and forget. It is a time to repent for our sins, and the sins others had committed on us.
But I may never forgive that one person I loved the most.
That person who smashed my heart and left it at its wake.
Though I love him, my mind seemed to forfeit any thought of forgiving him.
The thought of forgiving Sendoh Akira…
My Akira…
The person I always thought would be mine and mine only.
And miraculously, I lasted. Even for a year. I'm all alone, walking on this street, pulling the collar of my jacket near to my face to prevent me from the cold weather. Though the streets are filled with blinding lights that flash every now and then…for me…
It's dark. It's cold. It's empty.
And then, a song began. It came from the heart of the crowd somewhere in the middle of the street. I didn't bother to look at it, but the song echoed through my very soul.
Probably, the song reminded me of him…
I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on mePlease have some snow and mistletoe
And presents by the tree
" Akira?"
I softly knocked on his door. There was no answer.
" Akira?" I knocked impatiently. Still there was no answer.
I laid down his Christmas gift by the doorstep and sighed. What's taking him so long? I thought he wanted to celebrate Christmas together?
" Akira, don't you play pranks on me. I won't buy it." I said on a mock voice.
What's wrong with him?
I knew this would be a bit rude, but I decided to pull out the spare key to his house, which he gave me a year and a half ago when we first entered a serious relationship with each other. I treated his house as mine, and my house as his. So, I opened the door with ease and slipped silently towards his kitchen, where I thought he'd be. But he's not there.
I started to feel uneasy. What if something bad happened to him? I called out his name over and over again, searching at every corner for signs of his presence. But I could not find him. Where could he be?
The only place left to look at was his bedroom. And I sighed as a thought entered my mind. Maybe, he's asleep. A naughty grin crossed my face. I couldn't help imagining what he looks like, sleeping on Christmas. Without further ado, I enthusiastically opened the door.
" Aki—"
And the next few moments felt like utter hell to me.
Christmas eve will find me
Where the love light gleams
Oh, I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
I walked faster. In my mind, I thought that I'm escaping. I don't want to think of it anymore, fearing that recalling that incident a year ago'll only hurt me. I pulled my collar closer; probably not to shield my nape from the cold, but to defend my ears from listening…listening to this dreaded song…
And, as if fate played on me, I saw him, standing before me.
With that expression I never wanted to see…
I wanted to hug him right then and there. Tell him how much I miss him. Tell him that despite everything, I still love him. Tell him that I want to be back, I want to be home…home in his arms…
But I know I'd look like a fool that way.
I prohibited all my emotions, as I stood there, stationary and seemingly dead.
"Kaede…" I heard him mutter under his breath, his eyes were wide from chaste astonishment.
" Hn." Was my impassionate reply. I casually strode on my path, passing him as if he's not existing on that place. But his strong hands stopped me from taking another step further. I succumbed. My mind screamed: Let me go! But my heart did otherwise. It yelled: Hold me. Never let me go. I was in complete chaos.
" Uhmm…can we…go out?"
I stared at him, and I wore a bewildered look.
" Please? It's Christmas, anyway, so…"
" Let it be quick." I replied hastily. He smiled, as if saying a silent thank you, while I expressed myself with a silent "hn."
We nonchalantly walked around. He sometimes walked before me, and I sometimes walked before him. It was all unlike before, when we walked around town with our hands silently clasped together, smiling and ignoring the strange stares from other people.
As if reading my mind, he silently slipped his hands onto mine, clasping our hands into a tight ball. I glared at him yet again, but his expression was so peaceful and lovable I decided to leave it that way. I felt blood rush to my cheeks as we strolled around like before. How I missed this. I wished that this moment would last forever.
" I miss you." He whispered on my ear. I blushed even more.
" Hn."
We stopped on the café we used to hang out before, and I felt reluctant to go with him. I felt reluctant to revive my memories with him. But he lightly tugged out clasped hands, and that's what provoked me to go inside.
We sat on our favorite place, which was the most isolated and covered space on the cafe. He pulled my chair like a real gentleman for me, and I glared at him for the third time. But he didn't seem to bother. It looked as though he was enjoying it.
A waiter quickly responded to his call as soon as we sat.
" Give me two orders of Mint cappuccino. With extra whipped cream, please. Oh, and please add two slices of lemon cake." He ordered.
" Yes sir." With this, the waiter left.
" You…remember what I like…" I found myself muttering.
" OF course." He flashed a smile. That irritatingly beautiful smile enough to make me fall in love with him over and over again. I looked away.
" Hn. You're acting as if nothing happened."
" Kaede…"
" I thought I told you NOT to call me by my first name?"
He fell silent.
" I was drunk at that time! She made me do it." He finally divulged.
" And you let her?" I grimaced. " My god, you are a six footer and you let a 5'4 girl…. manipulate you?"
" Kaede…"
" I said—"
With one swift move, he claimed my lips. I tried to push him away, but he insisted. And I found myself surrendering again. He pulled me closer as he leaned forward more, and before I knew it, my back was against the wall and my ass was off my chair. I had to cling on it for dear life or else I'd fall. His hands roam on my face as we kissed deeper, and my own hands were at his back, absentmindedly hugging him closer. I wanted to cling on him for eternity. I never wanted to let go.
His hand left my lips and trailed down to my neck. I let out an audible sigh. And that is when I realized what we were doing. I gently pulled him away.
" Akira…."
His eyes seemed to smile at me. I felt like drowning into his cobalt orbs. I wanted to kiss him again, and that was until I lost my grip on the wall and we both fell at the floor.
" Are you okay?" he asked worriedly while he was on top of me.
" Ungh…not when you're there…."
And he laughed. He laughed like there was no tomorrow. And that sweet, low laugh of his brought a smile to my face. Did I really manage to survive a year without him? How? He is my life…without him, I don't know what to do.
" Kaede…do you know why I did that?"
I scowled. He brought up that topic again when things were starting to get settled. " No."
" Well, she threatened that she'll kill you if I don't…"
I felt my insides twirl again. I wanted to scream right then and there. But I won't be labeled as the Ice prince for nothing. I lay there. Motionless. Discreet. Except for a single "hn" that escaped from my lips.
" Really? You could've called me and I could've killed that a'hou first." I finally replied with blatant sarcasm.
" Kaede.."
" Then, you should be a father by now." I slowly stood, leaving that comfortable position we're in. At some point, I could sense that the waiters in the café had a hunch what we're doing. But I didn't mind anyway.
"No." He said, which was enough to freeze me on my tracks. " The moment you came in, I had the chance to get away. Nothing really happened after that. She's just starting…"
" Dumbass."
He looked shocked, and I turned around so that my back faced him.
And I smiled.
Probably the widest smile I ever flashed since time in memorial.
"I…know its hard but… I hope you can forgive me…Kaede…"
I hesitated for a moment, but the words came out on their own. " Akira…"
" Yes?" He his voice showed a sign of urgency..of need…
"You idiot…."
I felt his stare piercing through me. I felt his melancholy as I "tore-his-heart" the way he unwillingly did a year ago. And I had nothing to say. The other half of me said: He deserves it. But the other half once again refused, saying: This is the man you once loved. This is the only man you would love.
And I had to sigh.
" I'll be the first to say this…"
And the song played in the café again. This time, I lowered my jacket to hear it fully.
" I want to be home…with you…again."
And I spun to face him fully. I still wore that same smile. That rare smile that I believe I could only flash when he's there.
And I saw him smile too. That moment was priceless.
"Sure."
It's bright. It's warm. It's Christmas.
And I'll be home…
I'll be comin' home
I'll be comin' home
Comin' homeMy darling, Christmas eve will find me
Right where the love light gleams
And I'll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
I'm comin' home, oh yes
I'll be comin' home
I'll be comin' home
I'll be comin' home
Owari : 11:18 pm
December 24, 2004
-Hagaki ozuno
I hoped you like it… merry Christmas! Don't forget to greet Rukawa a happy bday on Jan 1!!!!!!!