HEY!! It's almost 100 reviews, and just to let you know, when it DOES
get to 100, the 100-105th reviewer will get to bash ANY one of the
characters on Yu-Gi-Oh they want, but you have to tell me how you want them
to be bashed. (Disclaimer-don't own Yu-Gi-Oh...yet)
Malik: 'Cept me!! ^_^
...Yeah, 'cept him. E-mail me or something, that's probably easier than saying so in your review. I'll give a message about who are the 5 reviewers in one of the next few chapters, and you'll be asked to think of someone to bash and how to bash 'em.
Malik: *gets out chainsaw and superglue* Anyone want to use these?
o.o;
*coughs* Anyway, it'll be known as the Character Bashing Chappie, okey dokey?
Chapter 11-Pegasus
GROAN!!! Isis, stupid Isis, wants me to be a psychiatrist! How can I, me of all people, be a psychiatrist?! What'd I do to deserve this?! Was it because I bashed my psychiatrist's head on the marble table? It was a very nice table! Or is it because I threatened to send him to the Shadow Realm? Maybe it's cause I put white out in his sandwich....
...anyway...
WHAT'D I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!? Sob, and cry, and shit...
"Little brother...Malik...my Millennium Necklace predicts that you will be leaving in 3 minutes to go to do something that will change the lives of many..."
Anubis, what is with these predictions!? It's the friggin' most obvious thing ever!
"Anyway, Malik, your patient today will be Pegasu-"
"WHAT?!!? NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU, YOU CAN DO THIS TO MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
"...I just did, now get in the car."
Stupid sister.STUPID PEGASUS!! Stupid flying horse...from Greek mythology...stupid Romans...conquering Egypt...
"STUPID DIVERSE SPECIES OF THE ZOO!!!!"
"..."
Oh no, not the look, stop giving me the look!!!
Oh, good, Isis just goes back to driving. What is with the look that people keep giving me!? Do they think I'm crazy or something? Cause I'm not!!
.....ok, maybe a little...but not that much!!
Or do I have something on my face?
"Isis, do I have something on my face?"
"You have eyes, a nose, and a VERY big mouth," says the wise one of the necklace.
"Oh, ok," says the even wiser one of the rod...
"..."
Wait, did I just say rod? ...ok, I didn't mean that, screw what I just said!! ...not literally, of course.
.........I think I just made a pun....a very bad one...ah well.
"ok, Malik, we're here!"
"What do I have to do...exactly?"
"You have to nod your head, ask personal questions, and say, mhm a lot. Also, ask, "and how long have you been having this problem?" multiple times."
"...ok."
"Basically, just nod a lot, say, "How do you feel about that?" ask them that question, and most importantly, show them blurry ink splatters."
O.O "ok...but when you say, personal questions, you mean I can ask how many batteries have they consumed?"
She look all happy and says, "OK OFF YOU GO TO YOUR JOB OF THE DAY!!" without answering my question.
I walk outside the car and am about to say 'bye' when she speeds off.
...but I didn't get a chance to ask for when she was going to pick me up! O.o uh-oh.
Erm...o well, whatever. I walk into the huge shiny building and go inside my room. How I know that that is my room...even I do not know such trivial questions. Ahahahaha...I said a big word!
Anyway, I wait for my "patient" to come in.
Waiting...
And waiting...
"DING"
Oh, what joy, he's here....you can just feel the sarcasm in my voice. Yay, another big word!! I'm getting smmmaarrttt....
"Greetings, Mal-boy!"
...wha?
"It's such an honor to have the villain of the second season be my psychiatrist!!"
"But I'm not a villain!! I'm just confused!!"
"I know, I'm confused, too." He then smiles all happy. Do I have a feeling this guy went gay over his loss of his wife? Does his wife know that he's gay? Cause my brain just hurts right now..
Anyway, I bought these pills, they had the words, "caution, do not turn upside down" on the bottom, but it was too late, cause I read it on the bottom of the bottle. So then, when I turned the thing back to its normal ...erm...place, it exploded. It made this huge farting noise, without the stink, and then the whole room blew up. Then, I forgot what happened after that cause I blacked out from the strong smell of paint...
Now...what'd Isis tell me about being a psychiatrist?
...Oh yeah!!
"And after my wife died, it just all fell apart after that..."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Depressed and blood-craving, of course."
"How long have you been having this problem?"
"...since my wife died."
"and how do you feel about that?"
"O.o Depressed and blood-craving..."
I nod like I'm supposed to and take down some notes.
Actually, I'm drawing little doodles of how the malted milk balls were invented.
"And then when I tried to hurt Yugi-boy, they said I was bad...and bad is bad, and good is better, but still bad because it's not the best, so I'm bad because being me, which is bad, is a bad thing....."
"...and how long have you been having this problem?"
"A few years...? I dunno..."
"IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW YEARS, AND YOU COME CRYING TO ME, OF ALL PEOPLE!??!? YOU DARE QUESTION THE GREAT MALIK ISHTAR FOR YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL PROBLEMS!?!?!? IF IT WAS A LONG AGO ANCIENT PROBLEM THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOLVED FOR THE FATE OF THE WORLD, THEN MAYBE I WOULD'VE HELPED, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE SO BOOOORIINGG!!!!"
He starts to cry and says, "You're being mean...."
"And how long have you been having this problem?"
He's doing the stare!! Oh gawds, he's just like Isis!! And...Ryou...and Bakura...and Marik....aw, poo.
"Ahem....."
Oh, oh right. Inky splatters. I-yes me, I am an important person-get out pieces of paper and an ink pen and starts to make many splotches of ink.
"Ok, what does this look like?" I hold up a picture of a muffin shaper ink blotch.
"POWER!!"
"....power doesn't come from a muffin, fool...."
"How about this?" Holding up a wiggly thing.
"My Millennium Eye!!"
"It's round, smartass..." Now, I hold up this very ugly thing that looks like a frog.
"Cecilia, my beloved!!"
"Wow..."
"I know, isn't she beau-"
"Your wife is uuggglllyyy!!!"
"..."
Oh no, he's hostile!! Whatever that means...
~ a while later ~
"What about this?" (a picture of a donut)
"My breakfast."
"Ok, you're done, get out of here."
"But I still have things to tell you!"
Time to use my great words of wisdom. "Pegasus, I have some great words of wisdom to tell you...."
"Yes?"
I say as nicely as I can, "We all have problems...."
"Um...."
"BUT YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!" I throw a boot at him, and he 'eep's and runs out on tiptoes.
Ah...done for the day...I am such a good psychiatrist!! I walk out of the big building and see Isis already waiting for me.
"Why did Pegasus just run out screaming like a little girl?"
"Cause I am such a good psychiatrist!!" ^__^
"..."
Malik: 'Cept me!! ^_^
...Yeah, 'cept him. E-mail me or something, that's probably easier than saying so in your review. I'll give a message about who are the 5 reviewers in one of the next few chapters, and you'll be asked to think of someone to bash and how to bash 'em.
Malik: *gets out chainsaw and superglue* Anyone want to use these?
o.o;
*coughs* Anyway, it'll be known as the Character Bashing Chappie, okey dokey?
Chapter 11-Pegasus
GROAN!!! Isis, stupid Isis, wants me to be a psychiatrist! How can I, me of all people, be a psychiatrist?! What'd I do to deserve this?! Was it because I bashed my psychiatrist's head on the marble table? It was a very nice table! Or is it because I threatened to send him to the Shadow Realm? Maybe it's cause I put white out in his sandwich....
...anyway...
WHAT'D I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?!? Sob, and cry, and shit...
"Little brother...Malik...my Millennium Necklace predicts that you will be leaving in 3 minutes to go to do something that will change the lives of many..."
Anubis, what is with these predictions!? It's the friggin' most obvious thing ever!
"Anyway, Malik, your patient today will be Pegasu-"
"WHAT?!!? NUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU UUUUUUUUUU, YOU CAN DO THIS TO MEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!"
"...I just did, now get in the car."
Stupid sister.STUPID PEGASUS!! Stupid flying horse...from Greek mythology...stupid Romans...conquering Egypt...
"STUPID DIVERSE SPECIES OF THE ZOO!!!!"
"..."
Oh no, not the look, stop giving me the look!!!
Oh, good, Isis just goes back to driving. What is with the look that people keep giving me!? Do they think I'm crazy or something? Cause I'm not!!
.....ok, maybe a little...but not that much!!
Or do I have something on my face?
"Isis, do I have something on my face?"
"You have eyes, a nose, and a VERY big mouth," says the wise one of the necklace.
"Oh, ok," says the even wiser one of the rod...
"..."
Wait, did I just say rod? ...ok, I didn't mean that, screw what I just said!! ...not literally, of course.
.........I think I just made a pun....a very bad one...ah well.
"ok, Malik, we're here!"
"What do I have to do...exactly?"
"You have to nod your head, ask personal questions, and say, mhm a lot. Also, ask, "and how long have you been having this problem?" multiple times."
"...ok."
"Basically, just nod a lot, say, "How do you feel about that?" ask them that question, and most importantly, show them blurry ink splatters."
O.O "ok...but when you say, personal questions, you mean I can ask how many batteries have they consumed?"
She look all happy and says, "OK OFF YOU GO TO YOUR JOB OF THE DAY!!" without answering my question.
I walk outside the car and am about to say 'bye' when she speeds off.
...but I didn't get a chance to ask for when she was going to pick me up! O.o uh-oh.
Erm...o well, whatever. I walk into the huge shiny building and go inside my room. How I know that that is my room...even I do not know such trivial questions. Ahahahaha...I said a big word!
Anyway, I wait for my "patient" to come in.
Waiting...
And waiting...
"DING"
Oh, what joy, he's here....you can just feel the sarcasm in my voice. Yay, another big word!! I'm getting smmmaarrttt....
"Greetings, Mal-boy!"
...wha?
"It's such an honor to have the villain of the second season be my psychiatrist!!"
"But I'm not a villain!! I'm just confused!!"
"I know, I'm confused, too." He then smiles all happy. Do I have a feeling this guy went gay over his loss of his wife? Does his wife know that he's gay? Cause my brain just hurts right now..
Anyway, I bought these pills, they had the words, "caution, do not turn upside down" on the bottom, but it was too late, cause I read it on the bottom of the bottle. So then, when I turned the thing back to its normal ...erm...place, it exploded. It made this huge farting noise, without the stink, and then the whole room blew up. Then, I forgot what happened after that cause I blacked out from the strong smell of paint...
Now...what'd Isis tell me about being a psychiatrist?
...Oh yeah!!
"And after my wife died, it just all fell apart after that..."
"And how do you feel about that?"
"Depressed and blood-craving, of course."
"How long have you been having this problem?"
"...since my wife died."
"and how do you feel about that?"
"O.o Depressed and blood-craving..."
I nod like I'm supposed to and take down some notes.
Actually, I'm drawing little doodles of how the malted milk balls were invented.
"And then when I tried to hurt Yugi-boy, they said I was bad...and bad is bad, and good is better, but still bad because it's not the best, so I'm bad because being me, which is bad, is a bad thing....."
"...and how long have you been having this problem?"
"A few years...? I dunno..."
"IT'S ONLY BEEN A FEW YEARS, AND YOU COME CRYING TO ME, OF ALL PEOPLE!??!? YOU DARE QUESTION THE GREAT MALIK ISHTAR FOR YOUR PITIFUL MORTAL PROBLEMS!?!?!? IF IT WAS A LONG AGO ANCIENT PROBLEM THAT YOU HAVE TO HAVE SOLVED FOR THE FATE OF THE WORLD, THEN MAYBE I WOULD'VE HELPED, BUT YOU HAVE TO BE SO BOOOORIINGG!!!!"
He starts to cry and says, "You're being mean...."
"And how long have you been having this problem?"
He's doing the stare!! Oh gawds, he's just like Isis!! And...Ryou...and Bakura...and Marik....aw, poo.
"Ahem....."
Oh, oh right. Inky splatters. I-yes me, I am an important person-get out pieces of paper and an ink pen and starts to make many splotches of ink.
"Ok, what does this look like?" I hold up a picture of a muffin shaper ink blotch.
"POWER!!"
"....power doesn't come from a muffin, fool...."
"How about this?" Holding up a wiggly thing.
"My Millennium Eye!!"
"It's round, smartass..." Now, I hold up this very ugly thing that looks like a frog.
"Cecilia, my beloved!!"
"Wow..."
"I know, isn't she beau-"
"Your wife is uuggglllyyy!!!"
"..."
Oh no, he's hostile!! Whatever that means...
~ a while later ~
"What about this?" (a picture of a donut)
"My breakfast."
"Ok, you're done, get out of here."
"But I still have things to tell you!"
Time to use my great words of wisdom. "Pegasus, I have some great words of wisdom to tell you...."
"Yes?"
I say as nicely as I can, "We all have problems...."
"Um...."
"BUT YOU HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES!!! GET OUT!!!!!!!!" I throw a boot at him, and he 'eep's and runs out on tiptoes.
Ah...done for the day...I am such a good psychiatrist!! I walk out of the big building and see Isis already waiting for me.
"Why did Pegasus just run out screaming like a little girl?"
"Cause I am such a good psychiatrist!!" ^__^
"..."