CMG: Whew! This is late. Sorry about that, but lots of things suddenly came up. Anyway, time to get rid of a rather bad cliffhanger with this final chapter of…
Treed
Chapter 3
CMG: And so you know, I don't own anything I put into this story. Not Sailor Moon, not Rurouni Kenshin, not even a certain game that I have been playing too much lately. So go!
Before the warriors could do anything, they found themselves shoved away by an invisible force that knocked them back with yet another blinding light. When it cleared, a young-looking girl appeared as she looked around confused. She was wearing a gray shirt, black pants, and some black sandal-like shoes. Her brown hair was cut short and she wore glasses that framed her blue-green eyes.
"Where am I?" the girl said as she looked around; tail swaying.
"Turles! No fair! You can't summon the authoress in the story!" Goku said.
"I just did," Turles said with confidence as he looks evilly down upon the others.
"Ho-hum…" the authoress known as Chibi Mirai Gogeta (CMG) said as she pulled out a pencil and pad of paper and started taking down notes. "Let's see… Destruction of the Fourth Wall leads to many problems." Putting the document away, she smiled evilly and reached for a confidential folder with some sort of legal document inside. "So technically, you have literally brought me here to aide the warriors instead of helping you. Read the contract mister."
"What?!" Turles said as he scanned through the contract. "Let me have that for a moment."
"I don't even trust you with a gun," CMG said as her tail lashed threateningly. That was when the verbal argument between them broke out.
"But I-"
"Nope."
"Can I-"
"Nada."
"For only a mom-"
"Heck no."
"Dammit! Let me-"
"For the fate of the world, hell no," CMG interrupted for the final time. "Now that the whole thing's final, I'm stuck here until I can fix this mess."
"Fine, Plan C," Turles smirked before he snatched the contract from CMG's hands and started scribbling on it. Suddenly, CMG lashed out at the warriors.
"Dammit!" CMG growled as she started beating up the fighters, save Goku and the unconscious (and still very nude) Gohan.
"Now that most of them are unconscious," Turles said as he erased the scribbling. CMG stopped in mid-air.
"What just happened?" Goku said.
"Goku, be a good Saiya-jin and get the contract from Turles before he makes me do the Macarena!" CMG yelled.
"Hm… as a matter of fact…" Turles evilly smirked as Goku quickly grabbed the contract from Turles' hands using God-like speed. "Aw…"
"Now to add a censor bar to our little nudie," CMG said as a censor bar appeared on Gohan's waist.
"What does it do?" Goku said.
"Just right-click on it and a little message box should appear," CMG said.
"Right…" Goku said as his middle finger tapped the censor bar. A little message box appeared:
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Censor Bar
Only for people who are naked for whatever reason. Use with caution.
Weight: 1 ton
Required Level: N/A
Available Job: Saiya-jins, Humans, Nameks, etc.
Warning: Item will disappear from owner's inventory when one wears clothing.
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Goku had a rather strange look on his face after reading the message box. "How do you make it disappear?"
"Like this," CMG said as she points her finger at the X and it disappears.
"Right… that was the weirdest thing I've ever seen," Goku said (15 brownie points for whoever guesses where I pulled off that little spoof I just made up).
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
While CMG and Goku were talking, Turles snuck into the tree's knothole and walked until he reached the elevator waiting inside. Taking it to the top, he found the fruit almost ready to eat.
'Excellent,' Turles thought evilly. 'Just a bit longer and then the forbidden fruit will be ready for the picking.'
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
CMG suddenly felt a chill run down her spine as her arms crossed her chest.
"What's wrong?" Goku asked.
"I sense some evil one plotting some uncertain evil," CMG warned.
"Turles," Goku said.
"Well, wanna go take the stairs?" CMG noted as she pointed at them.
"Sure, why not," Goku said as they ran up the steps.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hm…" Turles said, looking at the fruit stand with all of the fruit from the Tree of Might on it. "Which one should I eat first? Ah heck!"
"Freeze!" CMG yelled dramatically. "Step away from the fruit stand and place the fruit on the ground."
"Is that really necessary?" Goku asked CMG.
"Hey! If he eats it…" CMG started when they both heard a 'chomp' sound echo in the tree's hollow base. Before neither could move, Turles' muscles bulged and flexed as he flew and slammed both of them through the wall of the Tree of Might. Emerging from the rubble on the other side, CMG goes spiraling towards the ground while Goku fell dramatically to the ground after the authoress not far from the Tree of Might.
"Bwhahahaha!" Turles laughed. "Good news! You all fail!" To add salt to the wound, he began throwing papers down with giant 'F's' on each of them. Before one could touch the ground, rocks shot at all of them, incinerating the papers upon contact. "Hey! Rock doesn't beat paper!"
"It does now!" CMG moaned from afar with birds around her head as she passed out. "Whoo!"
Goku got up breathing hard, but still willing to put up a good fight. He was crunched down like he had a stomach ache of some sort though.
"Well, are you going to put up a good show or do I have to knock you out?" Turles said.
"Shut-up," Goku hissed before he concentrated; his voice echoing, "Kaiou-Ken…"
'You're saying it wrong!' King Kai moaned. Goku completely ignored King Kai this time around and continued.
"…jukkai!" Goku yelled as the red aura surrounded his body.
Like a bullet, he shot into the air towards Turles, but he managed to avoid Goku's Kaio-ken times 10 with ease. It was as though the evil clone of Goku was able to read the Earth-raised Saiya-jin's very moves with the greatest of ease. Eventually, Goku is thrown down hard on a tree branch with a heavy hammer blow to his back. Trying to rise, he's pushed down by a rather large foot as Turles stood over him like he had hunted and killed a deer. However, Goku was still alive.
"Beg for mercy and I MIGHT let you live," Turles said with his fingers crossed.
"Uh-huh, and then backstab me? I think not," Goku said. That was the boldest statement he could make before Turles pulled on one of the Tree of Might's branches, quickly twiddled it into a baseball bat and started whacking Goku in the back with it. After about 15 blows, the bat breaks, so Turles sets it on fire, throws it towards Earth, and then goes up the Tree of Might to start his gloating.
"You thought that you could stand a chance against me after I ate a fruit from the Tree of Might?" Turles scoffed at Goku from up in the tree. "You should be sadly mistaken. For that, I will not only spread your remains on a garbage heap, but I shall also bury those ashes under the smelliest thing on the planet before I destroy it from space!"
An another explosion is heard as Turles saw a golden light flickering from the ground. Where Son Goku was once laying there beaten down stood Son Goku. However, he was now…
"Dammit!" Turles said. "You're not supposed to go Super Saiya-jin!"
"Well, you did kind of broke my pride," Goku yelled back at Turles.
"Still, it's not logical and your power level was only 280,000 at the most; making it next to impossible for you to transform into a Super Saiya-jin," Turles said. "At the most, you would still need to gain another 720,000, give or take a few ten thousand, to become a Super Saiya-jin. So pretty much, you are creating what is called a 'plot hole' in this universe."
"And you're not?" Goku roared.
"No," Turles said before throwing a kitchen sink down at Goku and making him lose the transformation. "There. Problem solved."
"Dammit!" Goku cursed as he laid on the ground again; formulating yet another plan.
"Anyway, let's get down to business, shall we?" Turles said as he turned towards the warriors that seemly appeared behind him while he was dealing with Goku. However, they have changed their wardrobe and everyone, including Piccolo, was wearing a mafia suit of some sort. Piccolo's turban was half-merged with the rim of a normal business hat and he wore a black cape on his shoulders. (Yeah, it was destroyed off of him earlier, but I like to add more than what's necessary. :D)
"He's sexy alright…" Piccolo mumbled; causing all of the other warriors to give him weird glares. "What?"
"Piccolo, are you gay?" Krillin said.
"No, baldy, I'm quite gay," Piccolo said in Freeza's voice.
"Gah!" Krillin choked as Piccolo began chasing Krillin.
"Aw, don't run away," 'Piccolo' said. "I won't hurt you… much!"
"This is messed up!" Tien said.
"Wasn't Freeza supposed to be alive?" Chou-su said.
"I have no idea," Tien said. "At least it isn't King Cold."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Elsewhere on some distant planet, a familiar evil and quite gay overlord of the universe sneezed.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Back on the ground, Goku got back up and was breathing hard. He had managed to destroy the kitchen sink with a very complicated technique that could not be shown due to the violence of the act. Okay. He threw it at the Tree of Might and it broke apart. Happy?
'Note to self: kitchen sinks are evil,' Goku thought. 'Hm. I guess I should summon a Genki Dama.'
'It's a Spirit Bomb, you idiot!' King Kai wailed.
"Look, I'll call it whatever the hell I want, now leave me the hell alone!" Goku yelled.
'Whatever,' King Kai said before Goku shot a random blast into the sky. A minute later, Gregory fell from the sky rather charred, but still alive.
"Ow…" Gregory moaned.
"Consider that a warning shot," Goku hissed.
'You're wasting time!' King Kai said. Goku ignored the bothersome cricket man and started to concentrate upon the task before him.
"The earth, the trees, and everything else on this stupid planet," Goku started talking as evil storm clouds started to gather, "I call upon you to give me your power so I can kill this tree-hugging hippie because this 'tree' is draining all the energy that I was hoping to use to kill him, but nooo! He had to-"
A bolt of lightning hits Goku and knocks him down. From the heavens, a voice spoke down to the Earth-raised, but now slightly insane Saiya-jin.
"You're not getting a damn scrap of energy, you hypocrite!" the voice said.
"Who are you?" Goku said.
"I am Mother Nature and you better apologize or your ass is grass," Mother Nature said.
"I'm not apologizing to you!" Goku growled before another bolt of lightning hit him. "Hey! If you are striking me with lightning, then that means you have energy to give me, don't you?"
"…" Mother Nature remained quiet.
"How in the bloody hell am I supposed to save this damned planet I was supposed to destroy as an infant if you aren't giving me any damn chi to power up my damn Genki Dama…" Goku started, energy flowing through his very being as it seemed like sparks were flying off of him.
'Spirit Bomb," King Kai corrected, but Goku wasn't listening to the annoying Kai.
"…and you don't give me anything but a lot of damn trouble about it," Goku continued. "If I haven't of bumped my damn head on the damn cliffs, then I wouldn't give a damn about destroying this damned world that remains damned by a lot of damned being hell bent on damning the world to extinction as well as damning the whole universe along with it." At this point, Goku was breathing hard as everyone seemed rather shocked.
"I'll never underestimate the word 'damn' ever again," Piccolo said as he hung limply in Turles' hands like a piece of luggage.
"If you are done 'damning' everything, please stop that asshole or I'll give you the lightning that will defy all lighting bolts," Mother Nature said in a rather nasty voice. "And I will too." With that, Goku promptly fell over.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Earth's pretty much doomed," King Kai said while surveying the quadrant he was overlooking. "Oh well! Shit happens!" No sooner did the words leave his mouth, a staff smacked King Kai in the back of the head; hurling him towards the house. When he turned to see his assailant, he gasped in pure shock at the sight before him. Deep brown hair hardly hanging over his dark chocolate brown eyes that had anger flashing in them. He wore golden armor that was meant for a God. Wait a tick… "Who in the hell are you?"
"I am Scrix and I'm searching for the one known as Chibi Mirai Gogeta," the being said. "Is she on that planet you're looking down upon?"
"Um… no?" King Kai lied, but Scrix grabbed King Kai by the front of his shirt.
"Liar!" Scrix hissed as his brown tail snapped behind him. "If that world's destroyed, then so is the other alternate worlds due to the imbalance of the said Fourth Wall. If that happens, then you will die."
"Gah!" King Kai screamed. "She's there! Just unconscious!" Scrix smirked a smirk that would rival Vegeta's as a low evil chuckle rose from the mysterious being.
"Thank you," Scrix said and threw King Kai into a nearby closet before locking it. With a flash of light, he vanished.
"Hey! Let me out!" King Kai yelled as the door rattled from the banging and knob jingling. "Bubbles! Come release your master from his confinements!"
The monkey known as Bubbles looked at the door for a moment and hesitated. So instead, he ran to King Kai's car, started the engine, and made the car fly down Snake Way. On the horizon, an explosion was seen as Bubbles' cry was heard along with a flying body of a monkey.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
CMG's eyes opened as she saw Scrix standing over her like a hawk. Groaning in pain, she looked around and saw Goku still laying on the ground charred from his last efforts from defeating Turles. Knowing Mother Nature was to blame, she shook her head and slightly chuckled.
"This isn't funny," Scrix scolded the authoress.
"Well, neither is getting my ass kicked," CMG countered. "Seriously! You took your sweet time, you insane God!"
"I had to deal with King Yemma beseeching me for visiting this damn forsaken…" Scrix started before Mother Nature stuck Scrix with a bolt of lightning.
"Stop damming my planet!" Mother Nature yelled at them.
"Sorry!" Scrix squeaked before regaining his composure. "Anyway, if Kakarot fails to finish Turles off, then all of the alternate worlds will suffer as well."
"How can they suffer?" CMG said.
"Let me show you," Scrix answered and pulled a crystal ball out of the cape that trailed behind him. "Watch and you shall see the answer to your questions."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"I am Sailor Moon, Champion of Ju-ahhh!" the blonde haired pony tailed and meatball-haired girl started before a root grew out of the ground. "Where is that coming from?"
"I'm picking up a strange interference from another dimension," the warrior of Mercury said to Sailor Moon.
"But why is it here?" Jupiter asked.
"I sense someone has damaged the Fourth Wall to a point where it's affecting our world as well as the other worlds," Pluto said. "If this isn't resolved at the source, then they will all be destroyed."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Hiten Mitsurigi Style!" Kenshin chanted as he ran towards Shishio with his sword extended. It was at that moment that a root grew in front of the warrior as he crashed into it; causing him to fly backwards with swirls in his eyes. "Oro!"
"Ouch!" Aoshi said.
"That's gotta hurt!" Sano said.
"What kind of plant is this?" Shishio said as he touched it. No sooner than he did, he felt himself feeling a bit queasy. "This is…" No one could stop the impossible from happening as Shishio fainted.
"Okay…" Kenshin said. "That was the weirdest thing to happen that caused Shishio's downfall."
"Lord Shishio!" Yumi cried for her beloved.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"I see," CMG said as she looked in the crystal ball that Scrix produced. "Well, time to go tell Goku how to…" CMG noticed Goku's hand go up in the air. "Or not…"
"Anyway, come with me, brat," Scrix growled and started to drag CMG away.
"Aw! Can't we stay?!" CMG moaned.
"No!" Scrix growled as CMG had tears running down her face.
"You're mean!" CMG bawled.
"It's better than destroying the Fourth Wall any further!" Scrix countered.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Moments earlier…
'Dammit!' Goku cursed mentally. 'Bad enough saying damn too much, but having Mother Nature hit you with a lightning bolt that's powerful enough to destroy a city is too much to take. How am I supposed to destroy this damn tree? Hm…'
Without realizing it, Goku tried to see if his friends were alright, but felt their energy levels were too low and unable to fight. As he looked around in this state, he felt a nagging power, but ignored it as he searched for any chi left on Earth. Yet, the nagging continued as he became completely unaware of the conversation between CMG and Scrix not far from him and turned his mind to it. It was in that instant that a warm light flooded through him like the sun would on a cold winter's day. Briefly opening his eyes, he saw that it was the sun peeking through the clouds. Goku let out a moan.
'Who am I kidding?' Goku thought. 'It's ov… Huh? What's that? Is that…'
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
We now take you back to our regularly scheduled fic already in progress…
Turles was sitting on a makeshift throne made out of random scrap pieces of metal with a rather crude crown on top of his head that he 'borrowed' from a certain Miss America. Forgetting everything that had transpired outside minutes earlier, he sat there waving around a television antenna as his scepter.
'After this planet's destroyed, I shall be the ruler of all!' Turles grinned.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Goku walked into the tree and noticed an elevator as he braced the wall for support and pushed the button. Moments later, a ring was heard and the doors slid open as the Earth-raised Saiya-jin walked in and pressed the button that would take him straight to Turles. Somehow, by some mysterious way, the elevator took him to the outside entrance to Turles headquarters rather than inside of them. Ignoring the 'plothole' that was made, Goku focused as he prepared himself for the showdown.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Turles looked up at the fruit that mysteriously was back up in the tree. Either that or the tree produced more evil fruit due to the new 'energy' reserves it has. However, something was completely amiss as Turles saw how hazy the fruit looked.
'Hm,' Turles thought. 'Maybe I should…'
"Turles!" Goku yelled; interrupting the evil Saiya-jin's thoughts.
"Kakarot! You're still alive?" Turles said in a rather surprised, yet thrilled voice.
"I won't let you destroy this planet!" Goku said. He mentally added, 'Since it'll be threatened and possibly destroyed by someone not like you, loser!'
"Really?" Turles said.
"Yeah," Goku said.
"You know it's worthless to stop me," Turles smirked as Goku's hand flexed.
"Even so, I rather make one last stand," Goku growled. If he had a tail at that moment, it would have snapped in the air.
"Anyway, why do you dare oppose me?" Turles questioned. "This planet's dead. It has no energy left. The tree took it from your planet."
"True, but even your tree can give energy," Goku grinned. "And you know, we never did have these little speeches during the original part of the movie, so why in the hell are we even talking?"
"I have no id-" Turles started before Goku's hand charged up the 'Spirit Bomb' and his scouter exploded. "You tricked me! Die!"
Turles quickly charged up a blast as Goku sent the 'Spirit Bomb' hurling towards Turles. Upon contact, it hit all of the metal as electricity jolted up Turles's body. Goku was sent flying back and fell out of the tree towards the Earth below. The tree shattered and exploded in a golden light. From the golden light, all of the energy lost returned to the planet and its inhabitants as the roots were destroyed. Not only was this Earth restored, but the other Earths' in the other universes as well.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"…and so, the Tree of Might was destroyed," CMG said from the Check-In Station as she peered down upon Earth. "Good thing because I was starting to get worried."
"Next!" King Yemma called.
"Honestly though," Scrix said. "You were summoned there?"
"Yep!" CMG said as she smiled. "I didn't mind though since it's been awhile since I had a cameo in any fic.
"Next!" King Yemma called again.
"Even so, you're not permitted to use your full power when you're summoned to fight," Scrix chastised the young Saiya-jin female. "It's totally against the rules."
"Yeah, yeah," CMG moaned. "I know."
"I SAID NEXT YOU INGRATES!" King Yemma yelled at both Scrix and CMG as they both jumped in the air. "Seriously! Are you two done talking so I can send you back to where you belong?"
"You shouldn't have yelled at us," Scrix said in a timid voice. "You see…"
Scrix couldn't finish his explanation when CMG grabbed King Yemma by his neck tie and growled angrily at him; tail lashing furiously behind her as the golden power of a Super Saiya-jin 3 (also called Super Bitchin' 3 because of Scrix joking around with the young woman) flared up around the young female's body bulked up from the transformation.
"Listen well, Yemma," CMG spat; her voice echoing, "as I was telling my minion…"
"I'm not your minion," Scrix mumbled.
"…I was summoned upon that planet and if it wasn't for Goku managing to defeat Turles, we would have been all dead at this moment; including the readers of this fic!" CMG growled.
"Um… a little help?" King Yemma pleaded as Scrix rolled his eyes and did the only sure-proof way to protect the God of Sentencing Mortals. CMG was unconscious as Scrix placed the staff back on his back. "Thank you."
"Sure," Scrix said with a smile before flashing out with CMG in tow.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Well, everything strangely came back to life, so let's eat and not notice the plot hole," Goku chirped happily.
"I think we all owe it to Goku for bumping his head or otherwise, we wouldn't be here," Master Roshi chuckled. No one seemed to notice the evil look in the Saiya-jin's eyes as he leaned over and pulled out a notebook. 'Strange, Goku's a bit dark-skinned for some strange reason. And when did he get his tail back?'
'Note to self: Kill all humans,' 'Goku' wrote in the book before putting it away.
"Icarus' pretty brave!" Oolong said. Before the pig knew what was coming to him, he was roasted. "Ow!"
'Hm, maybe I should eat him…' 'Goku' said with an evil smirk on his face as he licked his lips.
"Goku, why are you looking at me like that?" Oolong said as the others seemed rather worried about him. "Goku!"
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Elsewhere, Piccolo was meditating as he groaned.
'Why do I have the feeling that Turles isn't gone?' Piccolo shuttered and noticed the Saiya-jin climbing out of the river. "Gah!"
"Piccolo!" the voice said. "It's me, Goku! Turles is still alive!"
"Dammit!" Piccolo cursed.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Get away!" Oolong attacked 'Goku' when suddenly, a Super Saiya-jin Goku appeared.
"Leave my friends alone, Turles," Goku growled.
"You'll regret the day you messed with me, Kakarot!" Turles vowed and ran away.
"Are you all alright?" Goku said as he rubbed his head.
"You better not do anything!" everyone else yelled at him.
"Well then, let's eat!" Goku said happily.
CMG: It's over! I couldn't resist making this chapter longer since I wanted to do a little one-shot for Turles after the Treed incident. Anyway, it'll be posted along with this chapter and the new fanfic that I promised a few weeks ago called Fear's Revivification. For now though, let's get onto reviews:
Kinoha: Thanks for the support. ::gives her a candy cane:: I really didn't like to cut out some of the story, but hey! I was trying to point out various plot holes! ::points to one hanging from a ceiling:: Like that one! ::shoots it with a chi blast:: Oops! Destroyed the roof. ::innocently whistles as she goes to the next review::
KaylaTheHedgehog: Thanks for reviewing. ::gives her a candy cane:: I'm glad you liked my little line and hoped that this chapter tickled a few more funny bones.
Xero Flux: Thanks. ::hands him a candy cane:: I'll check it out after this update. You have my deepest word as a fanfic writer.
Tea: Thanks. ::hands her a candy cane::
gokugirl9: There. Cliffy resolved. ::hands her a candy cane:: Come back again!
CMG: With my closing, check out the one-shot sequel to this fanfic called The Might Before Chrismas. Fear's Revivification will also come out today, so check it all out on my rare and triple fanfic update. Now where's my presents? ::looks to see nothing's there:: Dammit!