Mistletoe Bandit
"Did you hear he struck again?"
"What when damn and I wasn't here why does all the good stuff happen while I'm off."
"It was down by the infirmary, he was a gentleman as usual, all in black and with his mistletoe came up behind her turned her around and showed her his mistletoe and got his kiss."
"So who was the lucky girl?"
"Lt. Llyod she was kissed coming out of the infirmary and has been on cloud 9 ever since." Sgt. Paul and Lt. Kane looked up to see Major Samantha Carter looking at them.
"Morning Major, ah sorry to hold up the line will be moving along". They both picked up there trays and headed for the tables.
Samantha Carter was steaming.
Ever since the Masked Mistletoe Bandit appeared all the women at the SGC where desperate to find out who was behind the mask. He never spoke and was always a gentleman. The women were not offended by the bandit's appearance and the ones that had been kissed had been considered lucky.
Carter grabbed a cup for coffee and two pieces of cake. She had heard the speculation on who could be the culprit but if they were right then why was she upset.
Her conscious yelled at her. You're upset because he's doing something really stupid and could be brought up on charges and he still hadn't attempted it on her and everyone was getting something she had longed for so long.
If it turned out to be Colonel O'Neill then she would never forgive him.
It had been said through the grapevine that the bandit was just spreading the Christmas cheer but she wondered how much more cheer was he going to spread before he got to her.
She sat close enough to Lt. Kane and Sgt. Paul so she could hear the latest on the bandit.
"Yeah so that's another to add to the list lets see there's Lt Colonel LoVerde, Pvt. Bateman, Dr. Cooper, Captain Frued, Pvt Sharma, Major Smith, Lt. Walker oh and Dr. Fraser."
Sam spit out her coffee and started to cough. Someone patted her on the back and she looked up to see her Colonel which made her cough more and get slightly irritated.
She got up while still coughing and spilt the rest of her coffee on to her. Everyone was looking as she made a bigger mess.
She started to breath and closed her eyes. She had to get out of there she need to talk to Janet and ask her why she had not tell her about being one of the lucky few.
She started to wipe the coffee from her jacket when she heard his voice.
"Hey breathe already what's wrong," Colonel O'Neill asked.
The nerve of the man to ask me that after all that's been going on.
"Like you don't know? Please just leave me alone."
"Huh what? Carter what's going on?"
Sam got up and ran out of commissary with a very confused looking Colonel staring after her.
Sam made it to the infirmary and found Janet.
"Hey Sam what's going on?"
"Maybe I should ask you that?"
Janet gave her a puzzled look and asked what?
"He kissed you and you didn't tell me? Janet why? Did you not want to upset me and why did he kiss you and not me?"
"Ah Sam what are you talking about? Who kissed me? Wait does this have to do with that rumor about the kissing bandit on base? Sam it was Dr. Mary Fraser not me that allegedly got kissed and why are you upset? Who do you think the bandit is?"
Sam let out a curse and closed her eyes before she spoke.
"Mary Fraser the temp that was here last week from the Academy hospital. Oh I'm so sorry Janet I thought it was you and I overheard them say your name and I oh damn why is this upsetting me so much? If he wants to kiss every single person in the SGC then go ahead see if I care."
Janet was still confused till it dawn on her what exactly her best friend was babbling about.
"Sam you didn't answer my question? Who do you think is the bandit? A certain Colonel we both know that's allergic to needles?"
Sam sat on the bed and put her face into her hands. Janet walked over to her and placed her hand on her shoulder.
"I don't know why it's bothering me. Or a better question why hasn't he tried to kiss me?"
"Ah the root to the problem, well maybe he hasn't had the right opportunity. You've been going home and most of the encounters have been after hours."
'Yeah I've wanted to stay and come to think of it the Colonel's been making me go home early ever since this bandit's made his first appearance."
Janet nodded and thought the next time she gave Colonel O'Neill a check up she'd use her special needle for hurting her friend if it turned out that he was the bandit.
"Well the description I've heard of the masked bandit does sound like our friendly Colonel but isn't it out of character for him? You know going around and kissing other females when he only has eyes for one."
Sam looked at Janet and nodded her head and snorted.
"Right if this was true he wouldn't be sucking face with half the female staff of the SGC."
Janet snorted and started to giggle which made Sam smile and join her. She was thankful her friend didn't think she was completely nuts for going off the deep end about the bandit stuff.
Janet eyes widen.
"Hey lets set a trap lets drop hints that you'll be working late on a project and you'll be all by yourself it would give your bandit a perfect opportunity to make an appearance."
"Janet what if I'm wrong and it isn't him?"
Janet's mind was thinking.
"Okay, I'll stick around and keep an eye on you just in case and will finally unmask the bandit."
Sam smiled and she and Janet started to make plans on how to catch her Colonel in the act.
They plotted until noon when Janet's stomach started rumbling they decided to break for lunch.
The rest of SG1 was there also Daniel waved at them and Teal'c and the Colonel looked to see who he was waving at. They sat with them and started their plan.
They brought up the subject of the bandit and waited for reaction from the Colonel.
"So have you guys heard the mistletoe bandit struck again last night? Lt Llyod was the latest in a long line of women this guy's kissed. Not that any of the ladies are complaining."
He looked up to see both of them staring at him before he spoke.
"Yeah it's all over the base. General Hammond thought it was cute at the beginning but it could border harassment but none of the women have complained and some think it's the way of bringing Christmas cheer to the base. Me personally I think the guys a quack."
Daniel spoke, "well the guy has a lot of nerve to do that to the women here on base. But one thing I don't understand is why he hasn't kissed the two most attractive women on base."
Teal'c stopped picking at his fruit and said, "Daniel Jackson if you are referring to Major Carter and Doctor Frasier? If so I am whole heartedly agreed on this assertion."
Janet and Sam spitted out their water and gave the guys an unnecessary shower. The coughing came next and then the patting of the backs and the concern if they were okay.
"Carter that's the second time this has happened what's going on?"
"Nothing sorry sir it just went down the wrong pipe."
They sat back down and started to talk about other things when Janet nudged Sam under the table.
"Oh I'm going to be working on a project once I leave here it's going to take all night and I might stay on base depending on what time I finish."
They sat back down and started to talk about other things when Janet nudged Sam under the table.
"Oh I'm going to be working on a project once I leave here it's going to take all night and I might stay on base depending on what time I finish."
"What type of project Carter we've haven't been off base since two left feet Jackson fell over the steps to the stargate and I know nothing has been brought back by any other SG teams."
"It's some new schematics I wanted to try on the naquadah generators I've been wanting to do it for sometime and well since we have some downtime I thought it would be a good time to do this."
Daniel said, "Sam do you need any help. I could stick around and help you out if you want?"
Janet looked at Sam and spoke, "Daniel I need your help tonight Cassie has a French test that she needs help with and I kind of promised you'd help."
"Oh okay sorry Sam. So Janet what time should I come over?"
"Ah around 7 and Teal'c I'm sure Cassie would be happy to see you too so why don't I make dinner for you two oh Colonel your more then welcomed to come too."
"I will enjoy seeing Cassandra Fraiser again. It has been too long since our last visit and I would like to ask her if she has made her list for Santa Claus," Teal'c said.
He looked at Carter and turned to Janet, "I have something to take care of last minute presents but I'll swing by to say hi to Cassie and see if she wants to go ice skating this weekend. Carter you sure you want to be stuck her inside the mountain while were all having fun?"
"I really should do this while I have the time who knows when I'll be alone I mean able to do this project so you guys have fun don't worry about me."
They made plans to gather at Janet's for Christmas Eve and day since she had been the only one to buy a tree and decorate her house. She said she expected them to spend the night since she had lots of stuff to assemble for Cassie and she needed help preparing for breakfast and Christmas dinner.
They got up to leave and the colonel pulled Sam aside and asked if she really had to stay late. She said she did and that she had been doing it all this time why did was this time any different. She wanted him to confess that he was the bandit but he just shrugged his shoulders and went to catch up with Teal'c.
Janet apologized to Sam about leaving her alone but Sam reassured her that she would be okay.
"Okay it's up to him, if lets hope he took the bait and if he does then you'll be the one rewarded Sam".
Sam nodded but said, "if he's the one I'm going to zat him first and then ask questions later."
Janet chuckled and followed Sam out of the commissary.
Sam never new how quiet it could get at the SGC in the wee hours of the night there but she had been sitting in her lab and waiting for the appearance of the bandit. Janet had called to tell her that the colonel had never shown up at her house and that Daniel and Teal'c had left late. She asked if she wanted her to come in to wait with her but Sam had said no that it wasn't fair to Cassie to be woken up in the middle of the night to go to the sitter's house.
So she waited and fell asleep on her desk. She awoke and looked at the time it was almost 3:00 am and he did not show. Sam sighed and decided to go to one of the VIP rooms to sleep since she was disappointed and too tired to make the drive home. She started to turn off the light in the lab and was about to reach for the light on her desk when some one came up behind her and spun her around.
She was shocked to see the mistletoe bandit in the flesh not uttering a world and holding a sprig of mistletoe over his head.
She gasped when he pushed her against the table and held her breath as he came close to claim her prize.
"What the hell do you think your doing? Nope not going to happen with her buddy."
She pushed the bandit back and he fell to the floor. There in front of her stood the colonel.
Her hand flew to her mouth and looked at the bandit and back to the colonel.
"Caught you Valentino and let's see who's going to get his face rearranged for trying to kiss my girl."
My girl, he said my girl Sam was trying to process what Jack not the colonel Jack had just said aloud.
He was pulling up the silent bandit and she stepped in to make sure the bandit was not torn in two.
"Jack please let the poor guy go. He didn't know I was your girl. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm."
"Carter no he dared take something that isn't his he is going to pay."
He was about to punch the bandit when he finally spoke.
"Jack don't please it was just a way of spreading Christmas cheer."
They both looked at the bandit and yelled out at the same time, "DANIEL!"
They heard chuckling from the doorway and saw Janet and Teal'c.
Jack yanked the mask off of Daniel and Sam went to ask Janet what the hell was going on.
"Well operation Mistletoe Bandit is a success! Janet beamed.
"Indeed", Teal'c added.
"Ah you guys Jack hasn't let me go and I think he's still going to hit me."
"Janet what's going on," Sam asked.
Jack let go of Daniel who ran to stand behind Janet and Teal'c. Jack came next to Sam and yelled spill now.
"O'Neill we grew tired of waiting for you or Major Carter to make the first move and we decided to help you both along. The Christmas holiday provided an ample opportunity to
implement our plan. We started with two nurses and then informed you. You in turned began to make sure Samantha Carter to not stay late. When the encounters continued you became more vigilant and even ordered her not to stay late. We knew it was only a matter of time before Major Carter would suspect it was you spreading the Christmas Cheer and inform Doctor Fraiser of her despair that you were kissing every female at the SGC but her. So this was just a ploy to finally let both of you know what true feelings beat in each of your hearts."
Sam was speechless as was Jack.
Daniel nodded as did Janet.
"Ah yup that's it in a nutshell so um would you two finally kiss and truly make this a successful mission."
The spoke in unison, "We can't the regulations."
Daniel rolled his eyes and handed them a letter with the Presidential Seal on it. Jack and Sam read it and both of their eyes widen at the same time.
"It's covered. Yup you two have got General Hammond as well as the Presidents blessing. Oh they both said Merry Christmas and they will talk to you two about the whole chain of command thing later."
Janet threw a sprig of mistletoe at Sam and started to pull Teal'c and Daniel out of the lab with her.
Over her shoulder she said, "You two have fun and ah remember you're being taped so we don't want any "SGC gone Wild" on the internet."
Daniel started to cough and laugh and Teal'c started to chuckle.
Sam put the mistletoe over her head and turned to Jack who tucked the letter into his breast pocket and pulled her into his arms to finally do what he had wanted to do every Christmas since he met her.
They turned to see that Jack had dipped Sam and they still had not come up for air. Daniel still had a sprig of mistletoe and pulled Janet aside and placed it over her head. She smiled and said, "You're lucky I'm not the jealous type Daniel but if I ever catch you kissing another woman other then me your rear will be very sorry."
"Yes ma'am I'm your bandit but you're the one that stole my heart." Daniel pulled her to kiss her also.
Teal'c feeling left out pulled an unsuspecting Lt. Miller and produced his own mistletoe and she smiled and pulled him to the wall to show him one of the Tau'ri customs.
All was well at the SGC thanks to the Mistletoe Bandit and his elves.