Disclaimer: I make no claim to the series, ideas, or characters of Full Metal Panic.
The Deathbringer
Chapter 10: The Break of the Silver Rain
By Adam Lakewood Copyright 2004
Meredith quickly sat up in her bed with a loud gasp. She could still hear the screaming. The screaming of what seemed to be thousands of people. Screams; screams of agony, terror, sadness, and every other type of scream imaginable. The scream that stood out amongst the others sounded like Sousuke.
This had happened many times, but she still could not get used to the horrible sound. But, never was she able to pinpoint any of the screams or identify them, but this time it was easy for her to identify Sousuke in the mass of wails. She knew it was Sousuke because the dreams told her so.
She had already learned that since the day before yesterday that she shouldn't ignore her dreams. She and Sousuke's dreams were correct since just a few hours after she left the base of the 4th Mithril Branch yesterday, it was destroyed. Luckily, the most of the people were already dispatched from the base. The kill count was at an expected low at only 172 causalities. 172 people had died. The worst part was that they were destroyed because of her. The attack did not come in the form of a missile, but instead in the form of foot soldiers. Hundreds of heavily armed foot soldiers. When they realized that she wasn't there, they murdered everyone in the base to 'cut the resistance down.' This had her in a very depressed mood since the blood of almost 200 people was on her hands. Kevin had been a great comfort, but there was still only so much that he could do.
It seemed as if the terrorist group that attacked knew something before Mithril did. Meredith was one of what Mithril was now labeling as "The Whispered." They proved this late last night when they ran tests on her, comparing her to another person who was being hunted under similar circumstances by these people. The young lady was being hunted down as a Whispered: a person with the knowledge of Black Technology, and on the rare occasion, a few other powers. It turned out that the tests that were run on Meredith turned out to be the same as the other young lady's, except they were a little bit stronger. Since, 2:12 yesterday morning, Meredith had technically been labeled as a Whispered with minor aspects of Clairsentience. She was informed that was what the dreams were. They were more than just dreams, they were visions. When she explained that she never had a dream about the base being attacked, but Sousuke did, they were completely baffled. They passed it off as a strong empathetic bond. Now, Mithril was desperately searching for other Whispered around the world that may be in need of immediate protection. They had already found one amongst the 17th Mithril Branch. The girl was already being put under heavy protection. They were even going as far as to even take her off of land and put her underwater in a new prototype submarine they had been working on. Meredith was placed under what many considered to be much better protection. She was left in the care of Kevin "The Priest" Jacobs.
The more she thought about it, the more she realized that she had seen a lot of these present events in the past in a lot of her dreams. She even remembered seeing Kevin in one of those dreams.
A lot had happened in the two days that Sousuke had been gone. She had learned even more than that. The most important that she learned, and learned the hard way was to not ignore her dreams. That's why she was now worried about one of the cries being Sousuke. Whatever it meant, it could not be good.
She heard the phone in Kevin's living room ring.
She did not like where this was going. She had another one of her 'visions' in which she heard the scream of Sousuke who just left out morning before last. Now, there was a call at a priest's house at 4:00 in the morning.
The phone rang another half time before the ringing was silenced by a soft click and the hushed tone of Kevin's voice. She looked towards the bottom of her closed door to see a faint light coming from under the door. Kevin was still up.
"This is the residence of Father Kevin Jacobs. This is Father Kevin Jacobs; can I help you?" his shushed voice sounded concerned.
No doubt he was, getting a call at 4:00 in the morning. He probably feared that it was a phone call concerning her. He said something else, but Meredith couldn't make it out. His tone was now down to almost a whisper. She got up and crept over to the door in hopes of hearing his side of the conversation.
"How is he?" he said in an obviously concerned voice.
It was about Sousuke! And, from what she could piece together concerning the call at 4:00 in the morning and Kevin's silenced and worried tone, it sounded as if it was something bad.
"Oh, Holy Father!" his voiced was a little bit louder than he had meant for it to be.
He cleared his throat before speaking again.
"Well... will he be... alright?!" his voice was once again to the silenced level it was before.
She listened closely and put her ear to the door in case he was to speak any softer.
"You... you have to be kidding me!"
She only wished she could hear what was being said on the other end of the phone. She was now for certain it was about something bad that had happened to Sousuke, but she did not know what it was. It very well sounded as if he could be dead, but Sousuke was tough and he had promised that he would return to her, so she ruled out that possibility out of illogic or even denial.
"How is that possible?!"
He paused for a minute to listen to what the voice on the other end of the phone was saying. He attempted to interrupt with a few stuttered 'buts' before the voice could finish what it was saying.
"But... I can't do that! The poor girl has been through too much these past two days, I don't think she could handle it."
He paused again to listen to the other person's response.
"How would I know what do look for, I'm not a doctor!" his voice was once again rising.
He sighed a deep sigh of frustration as he once again listened to the other person.
"Well... I'll have to bring her with me. He himself made that request to me, so what should I tell her?"
He paused for a moment again. This time the voice on the other end of the phone was so loud that she could actually hear it through her closed door. Kevin let out another agitated sigh.
"Fine, but I want to be the first to see him. I, as her current protector, need to asses the situation. I will make up a feasible excuse."
So, it really was about Sousuke! But, was he alright? She couldn't wait any longer. She quickly threw open the door and ran out into the living room. The questions flowed out of her in a chaotic fashion.
"Where is Sousuke? How is he? When did he get back? Where did he...? she asked as she grasped her hands to her head in a way to compose herself.
Kevin looked up at her from his position on the couch. His expression was that of one of a deer caught in the headlights of a truck. He opened and closed his mouth a few times before finally speaking to the person on the end of the line.
"Uh... I... I got to go... I think she heard me."
With that he gently and cautiously hung up the phone. He left his hand on the phone before turning back around to face her. He knew she had been through a lot. She had told him about the feelings of good and dread she had about Sousuke. She told him about the dream. She told him about the tests that were run on her, and she confided in him when she found out that she was a Whispered. He knew what she had been through, and he was well aware personally himself of the human emotional breaking point. He would choose his words carefully. He didn't have much time to choose his words or else he would stress her further from anxiety. He would get the most obviously good news out in the open first.
"Sousuke is back and he's alive."
She let out a sigh of relief and put on a smile of happiness. She let out a squeal of joy as she quickly ran over to Kevin, bent down, and hugged him tightly.
"That is great news! I'm so happy!"
Kevin hugged her in return, patted her on the back, and then pushed her back up straight. He had a relieved look on his face, but that quickly turned to one of trouble. He didn't know what to say. Perhaps he should have spoken faster. But, now he didn't want to ruin her mood. She needed this good new after everything she had been through. He wanted it to all be good news that he had to tell her. She obviously saw the look on his face and made his job of spilling the beans a lot easier.
"Something's wrong isn't it?" she asked putting on a worried expression to match his.
"Yes. I said that he was back and he was alive; I didn't say he was alive and healthy."
She looked at him intensely.
"What? What happened? What's wrong?!"
He swiped his hand roughly through his hair. He was a man of God. It was his job to make people feel better, not worse. He hated it when his job contradicted with his mission contradicted with his duty contradicted with his obligation contradicted with his feelings. But, he was asked and he would answer. He was Kevin Jacobs; he was a confused man not long ago, if not a horrible man. But, he had never lied before, and that was something that he took great pride in. He would not start now.
"He was hurt pretty badly. It seems as if a grenade must have gone off right where he was standing. Amazing enough, all of his limbs are intact and even more amazing, he's conscious, talking, and trying his best to get up and walk around."
She let out a long and loud sigh of relief. She didn't know it, but she had been holding her breathe while he was speaking. She turned back around and smiled at him.
"Kevin, you had me worried! I was fearing the worst!" she chuckled.
"I was afraid that half his body was missing or something!"
"Well, the doctors are astonished about his physical condition. But, what really has them worried is his mental condition."
That caught her attention like a rock to the back of her head. She knew Sousuke's mental condition better than anyone and she kept everyone filled in rather well. So, this had her more than a little bit worried.
"Wh... what do you mean?"
"No, half of his body isn't missing or anything. But, it seems that half of his sanity is. He is spurting out a bunch of disturbing nonsense. He has been rambling nonstop for about two hours now. He will not talk sense with anyone, but he keeps calling for you."
"Well, what are we waiting for; let's go!"
Her response took him a little off guard. He watched her quickly dash to the door in her pajamas and bare feet. She quickly and nervously pulled on a coat. She looked back at him to see that he was still sitting on the couch.
"Hurry up; I'm ready to go!" she said to him in an anxious and annoyed voice.
"Coming!" he shouted as he quickly pulled on his boots without tying them.
He ran over to the door, took his trench coat off the hanger, grabbed his bag of weapons, and opened the door. Meredith was already a few steps ahead of him. She was already opening the car door and letting herself in.
Kevin sighed. He made his way to the driver's side of the car at a hastened pace. This was against his better judgment, but who or what was he to judge. Maybe he didn't always have the answers, despite his wanting to.
Meredith quickly burst through the doors of the hospital with a load of guards running close behind her. She had pushed past them without showing identification, and now they were hell-bent on not letting her into the hospital. But, every time a guard would reach out for her, he was pulled back by Kevin. Finally, after Meredith was inside, Kevin blocked the door and showed everyone his identification. They finally decided to let them pass, even though they weren't able to do anything to stop them in the first place.
Meredith quickly made her way to the desk in the lobby. She walked up, panting for breathe.
"Where are they keeping Sagara, Sousuke?"
The woman began looking through here file, and then the name finally kicked in. She closed the file, adjusted her eyeglasses, and looked back up at the oddly clothed lady before her. She looked her over and looked at the man beside her.
"You must be Meredith Rily and Father Kevin Jacobs." she stated more so than she questioned.
"Yes, we are, ma'am." answered Kevin.
The woman looked at her computer, typed in a few things, and then looked back up at the two. She slowly rose from her seat and made her way from behind the desk. She walked in front of a door that was to the right of Meredith and Kevin. She motioned her hand towards the door and began walking towards it.
"Please, follow me, and I will take you to him."
The woman continued to slowly walk towards the door. Meredith looked up at Kevin and gave him a questioning look. Kevin nodded in approval. Meredith was a little bit too anxious to keep the slow pace that the woman was taking all the way there.
"Thank you kindly, ma'am, but we don't necessarily need to be accompanied there. If you could just tell us where he is, I'm sure we can find it ourselves."
The woman opened the door and held it open expectantly for the two. She motioned for the two of them to come on in so that she may close the door behind them.
"I'm sorry, but I cannot. As you being his registered nurse, I must fill you in on details that we called you here for."
She had been called in? She was not informed of this. She turned around to look towards Kevin and give him her best threatening glare. He smiled nervously and looked at his imaginary watch, desperately trying to calculate the irrelevant time. Meredith sighed and turned back around. She knew Kevin was trying to do well, but this was not one of the things that she wished he would try to protect her from.
"It is a decent amount to fill you in on, so we must not be in any hurry to get there. You must know what to expect."
She did not like the tone of voice that the woman had when she finished her statement. It sounded like one of warning. She had done work in the hospital many times before. She had used that tone with other nurses, doctors, and surgeons in the hospital before. And, every time she did, it was as a dreadful warning. Usually it was warning about a gruesome sight, an unruly patient, or a horribly disturbed patient. From what she could gather so far, the woman was warning her about Sousuke's mental state more so than his physical state. Besides, they would not call her in if he were horribly wounded. She was only meant to be his main nurse or doctor for simple things such as first aid or curing a cold; everything else was left to the medical professionals. She was a professional in physical, social, and mental psychology. So, that must be why she was called in.
She looked back around at Kevin. He usually had a grand expression on his face. One that one would think could melt thick layers of ice. She had yet to see him wear as grim of an expression as he was at this moment. It frightened her. Obviously, Kevin knew a little bit more about the situation than he was letting on. The phone call had been a little bit more informative to him than she had guessed. She originally thought that he refused to stay in the waiting room because he wanted to see his friend. That was true, but she could now guess his main reason for his insisting to accompany her. Kevin was not a fool when it came to military psychology. He knew that military personnel could sometimes snap under the pressure. Snap to the point of spontaneous violence. He was full- heartedly requested by Sousuke, his most trusted friend, to protect Meredith. Now that Kevin knew who she was, and the fact of her being what he labeled as 'God's Gifted,' he would now protect her more than ever. He would protect her from anyone at all costs. Anyone.
She did not want to think about that. She also did not want her 'abilities' honing in on Kevin anymore than they already had. She now realized more than she could have imagined, the things Kevin had seen before. She did not want to think about that. The woman leading them down the hall brought her back to the conversation at hand.
"You might not like what you see; I know I didn't. He is alive and kicking, literally. He is frantic. He has not spoken anything that has made any sense to any of us. I take that back, he has asked for you."
The woman turned around to look at the young lady and the priest behind her. She looked Meredith in the eyes thoughtfully and smiled. Her smile dropped when she continued.
"His entire team died before him, along with two innocents. It has obviously devastated him. He keeps blaming himself. He has had emotional breakdowns three times now. We are keeping him heavily sedated, but you would think that it was just many CCs of water we were giving him. He occasionally drifts off from sheer exhaustion, but he wakes up screaming, hallucinating, whenever everyone leaves the room. To tell the truth, we would stay in there with him, but we are afraid to. He has already mildly injured one of the nurses, and the restraints seem to be doing no good. We... were hoping you could do something."
The tone in the woman's voice spoke louder than a thousand words. The hospital did not know what was going on; several trained professionals did not know what was going on. They were all confused. This was what they probably considered be an act of desperation on their part. Medical personnel only turned to psychiatrists when there was nothing they could do for the person, or at least they did in this kind of work. This was more than it seemed on behalf of the hospital. This was an act of desperation. They did not know of anything else that could be done.
Kevin insisted on being the first to enter the area. As soon as he pushed open the double doors, a terrified wail came out of the doors like the cold air that accompanied it. One would not have known who that was, but Meredith did. That was Sousuke. The nurse that was accompanying them took on a completely annoyed expression on her face and dropped all professional façade she had put up before.
"Shit!" she shouted as she threw her clipboard on the floor.
"I thought I gave strict orders and procedures on what to do while I was out of this area. Where is the patient?"
Another younger looking nurse came up to her with a nervous expression on her face. She looked down at her shoes and began wrenching her hands.
"Well, uh... I... I told them to put him in his room. He... he was sleeping soundly, and I did what I was told."
The other nurse sighed in agitation as she quickly strode to the room in which the screaming was coming from.
"You turned off the lights in there, didn't you?" she said with an obvious amount of aggravation in her voice.
"Well, y... yes, of course. You know, we have all had a bout with him, and I would not want him to be... disturbed from his sleep. I figured that if the light was off, he would..."
"Well, from now on, please don't figure anything. Do as I tell you. And, I am telling you now, do NOT, under any circumstances, leave this boy in the dark. It scares the Holly Holy out of him!"
She approached the door and motioned for one of the personnel to come unlock the door. She banged roughly on the door to get his attention and to be heard over his screaming. His screaming stopped immediately and the door knob began rattling. Soon, heavy, panicked breathing followed on the other side. The nurse leaned up to a crack in the door so she could be better heard.
"Sousuke, honey, it's okay, I'm right here. Everything is fine; just calm down a bit. We are opening the door. Did you hear me? We're opening the door."
She turned around to look at the man fumbling with his keys, nervously trying to find the right one. He spoke, but his voice was shaky. Kevin quickly looked towards the door as if he had heard something.
"How is he up and moving around? We handcuffed him to the bed, since normal restraints weren't working."
The man, nurse, and Meredith were quickly knocked to the ground by Kevin doing a flying tackle.
"Get down!" he shouted as he leapt to cover them.
The door went flying off its hinges as a large, steel frame bed shot through the shattered doorway. Sousuke immediately ran out of the room in nothing but a pair of hospital pajama pants. Despite it being so cold in the area, he was sweating profusely. He turned completely around and started slowly walking backwards. He was bleeding badly from the top of his head, his chest was covered with bandages, and a bandage was covering his cheek. He backed away without even taking note of the people lying on the ground. He looked to be horribly frightened. He jumped in surprise when he backed up against a desk. He looked around quickly and then back at the doorway.
"Leave me alone!" he screamed as he tore the computer monitor from the desk.
He hurled the monitor with all his might through the doorway. The monitor burst into hundreds of pieces. Meredith looked at Sousuke with a concerned, yet confused look in her eyes. She was glad to see him alive, but she was seriously worried about him. He looked like a step down from a mummy from all of his bandages. He also had a fresh wound on him, and his behavior frightened her.
"Sousuke, what's wrong?!" she questioned.
The nurse was completely astonished when she saw Sousuke turn around to make eye contact with the lady lying on the floor next to her. He had not made direct eye contact with anyone yet. It surprised her even more when he gave a direct answer to her question.
"She's after me, Meredith! She's going to kill me!"
He looked nervously back at the doorway.
"She... She's... gone?" he questioned in a confused tone.
He staggered around in a fierce pace. He thrust his hand out and knocked over a desk. He quickly walked over to nothing in particular at his fierce stride. Some of the larger men that were in his way quickly and frantically moved to get out of his way.
He took a few more steps to the furthest end of the area. He stumbled around as if he were a toddler just learning to walk. He let out a quick breath as he braced himself against the sink. It was cold to his bare touch. For some strange, this feeling seemed to be the oddest feeling that he could get from the sense of touch. He pulled back quickly like he had placed his hands into a blazing fire. He stumbled back with a startled look in his eyes. He hit a desk behind him, knocking papers, whatnots, and other items to the floor. He stared intensely at the sink before slowly sliding to the floor. He began to shiver violently.
Everyone in the area had stopped what they were doing to watch and see what the young man would do. This was the first time that he was unrestrained, and they did not know what to expect. He was showing violent behavior, but it seemed in no way to be directed towards any of them. But, now he was completely unmoving. Meredith didn't know what to make of this; she had never seen Sousuke like this before, but it was for the most part understandable according to what the nurse had told her. Kevin, who was standing in front of her, turned around to face her and gave her a questioning look. She shrugged her shoulders, mouthed out the words 'I don't know,' and pushed past Kevin so she could better see and talk to Sousuke. Everyone flinched in surprise as Sousuke moved his hand upward without looking in the direction of his almost unconscious action. The hand moved around as if it were searching for something, but to no avail.
"Meredith?" he said.
There was something in his voice that pulled at Meredith's heart. His voice did not sound violent, despite his previous actions. His voice sounded hurt, saddened, soft, desperate, lost... pleading. Meredith advanced a step forward, but Kevin's arm blocked her path. She looked up at Kevin. He had his mouth open as if he wanted to say something. He was staring intensely at Sousuke, but his eyes told of his uncertainty. He looked down at her to see the look on her face. She looked as if she were trying to get his approval. He stopped for a moment and looked back towards Sousuke.
"Meredith?" said Sousuke.
His voice sounded the same as it did before. But, now it also sounded worried, and a bit more pleading. Kevin looked back down at Meredith and nodded his head at her. He moved his arm out of the way to let her pass. She walked at a hastened pace to where he was sitting with his arm outstretched.
"Meredith?!"
His voice sounded a bit more worried and distressed due to the non- immediate response. Meredith sped up her walk into a jog as she heard his desperate voice again. She kneeled down beside him and grasped his hand tightly. He went stiff for a moment and then quickly looked at her in surprise; almost like a delayed reaction. When he turned around to look at her, he was a different person. At least, this wasn't the Sousuke that she knew. He was sweating heavily. He looked absolutely scared out of his mind, and his eyes were what gave him away the most. His look he gave her was innocent, and at first glance, his eyes were innocent. But, the more she looked into his eyes, the more they unsettled her. No, they didn't unsettle her; they scared her. Those were the innocent eyes of a madman, a lunatic, a psychopath. She knew what Sousuke's eyes looked like well enough. They may be the same color and general dilation as Sousuke's, but they weren't Sousuke's eyes. Those eyes had a story to tell, and so unexpectedly, they did.
For a brief moment, all that Meredith could see was Sousuke's eyes. After a little while longer, she couldn't feel anything. It was almost as if her body had gone completely numb; she couldn't move. After that, the screams from her dream repeated themselves. But, this time, it was almost as if the sounds were coming from his eyes. Soon after is when the visions came.
Meredith, in a split second which seemed like hours, saw everything that happened on Sousuke's mission. She saw the horrible and gruesome sight of Sousuke brutally murdering everyone on his team. The most horrific of the vision was that of a little girl holding a teddy bear, stapled to the wall by pieces of shrapnel. She saw his sick smile as he watched his entire team die at his hands. The sight was too much to take. She wanted to scream, but she couldn't. She wanted to leave, but it was like her body was nowhere to be found. It was almost like she didn't even have a body to leave with. The vision kept replaying itself. This time the vision of the little girl played itself along with the vision of the little girl from her dream a few nights ago. They were both in the same. Now, she understood what her dream was about. The dreams that she and Sousuke had were not warning of something bad happening to her or Sousuke; they were warning of something that would happen because of Sousuke. All at once, everything ended. She was once again staring into the eyes of Sousuke.
She pulled away quickly and let out a fearful gasp. She began to slowly crawl backwards as he kept his eyes viciously trained on her, afraid of what he may do. Kevin quickly ran to her side and helped her off the ground. She could not manage to pull her eyes away from the ones that were now in the possession of Sousuke Sagara. She heard Kevin calling to her, shaking her, but she could not look at him. Her head was forcefully turned away from the eyes of Sousuke. She was now staring into the face of Kevin. He looked concerned beyond what one could imagine.
"Meredith!" he shouted so loudly it startled her.
She jumped in reaction to his surprisingly loud voice. She covered her mouth and looked at him nervously. She then looked back to Sousuke. This time his eyes did not have the same affect as they had just a second ago. But, they were still not his eyes. They were still the same innocent, yet menacing eyes she saw just seconds ago. She was glad that she was near Kevin and away from arm's reach of Sousuke. What she saw frightened her to no end. She saw murder, chaos, and an evil that couldn't be described with words alone. And, she saw all of this in the man she loved. How could he do all of that? Why did he do it? She felt sick. She covered her mouth in fear that the feeling in her stomach would get the better of her. It was all too much to think about. The man that she had been with had murdered all of his teammates and a little girl. The worst part is that there was a sick, sadistic satisfaction gleaming in those dark chasms that were his eyes. This was the man she was with not long ago. This was the man she loved.
Meredith drew in a few shuddered breaths. The nausea was starting to pass over. Being a psychiatrist, she knew that she couldn't take much more of this. She needed to get out of here. Just being in the presence of this madman was eating away at her nerves. She quickly brushed away the tears that were forming in her eyes.
"Come on, Kevin. Let's get out of here. There is nothing I can do for him. Take me home, please?" she said wiping another tear from her eye.
Kevin let out a hum of acknowledgement. The room was deathly quite as he walked towards Meredith. He put his arm around her, turned her around, and began walking to the door. Kevin knew that she hadn't even tried to help him yet, but he did not question what she may have seen, or what may have had her so spooked a few seconds. He knew that it may be best if she were to leave. Who know, she may be able to try again later, right? He could not imagine what she was feeling in order to make her want to leave Sousuke, especially given his condition. He could only sympathize with her.
Meredith was struggling to keep her composure together when she heard the loud clanging of something against metal. The sound was followed by the multiple sounds of breaking glass. She and Kevin turned around quickly to see what the loud noises came from. They both immediately turned their gazes at Sousuke. His hand was balled up into a fist and was resting inside a newly made dent in the metallic desk he was leaning up against. Broken and unbroken glass tubes littered the floor around him. He was breathing heavily and gritting his teeth. His entire body was trembling violently as if the floor he was sitting on was actually the seat of an electric chair. He had his eyes squint shut and tears were streaming their way out of them. He was unclear as to whether he was sad, angry, hurt, or some other emotion that may cause him to shed tears. This actually surprised Meredith greatly. She had never seen Sousuke cry before.
"Why?! Why are you leaving me!?" he said in a quivering voice.
Meredith looked at him with a surprised expression on her face. His voice did not sound as if he were insane; he sounded hurt, almost as if he were confused in the process. Despite those dreadful eyes, that was Sousuke. She still could not wash the images that she had seen in his eyes out of her mind.
"Meredith? Help me. I'm scared. I don't know what's going on. I don't know what to do. I...I... know what you saw... when you looked at me. I... I don't know... who that was. Please, it wasn't me."
She could have sworn she heard her heart breaking as a reaction to his voice. He sounded like a child trying to convince his parents as to something he didn't do. He sounded uncertain himself, but he also seemed to believe his own words. He was scared; that much was obvious. His words sounded crazy, but his voice sounded otherwise. She knew he wasn't crazy, or at least not at the moment. But, he was confused. He was confused more so than she was. His dreaded eyes told a story of something and someone completely different than Sousuke Sagara; something dark and sinister. But, everything else was Sousuke. She had no doubt that he did those things, but she highly doubted that he did them willingly. No, she knew that he did not do those things willingly. This was Sousuke Sagara, and he would never do anything like that. But, the question still remained as to why he killed those people. Could he have really not have know what he was doing? That sounded unbelievable, but the thought of Sousuke killing people for pleasure was even more unbelievable. Sousuke let his hand rest to his side. He slowly turned his head toward her as if he were reluctant to make eye contact with her, as if he were ashamed. She looked into his eyes again, relieved to see the eyes of the Sousuke she knew and loved. His eyes were now showing a true glint of confusion, hurt, and fear.
"P... please. I know what you saw. I can't blame you... for wanting to leave me. But... I don't know what I'd do... if you were to leave me now. You... you always know what to do. Tell me what to do like you always do. Please, tell me what to do and I'll do it. Please..."
She couldn't take it anymore. That was Sousuke Sagara. Despite what he might have done, that was Sousuke Sagara. Looking at the look on his face and in his eyes, refusing his request, no his plead, would be like refusing to help a small, scared child. She couldn't do that. Never before had Sousuke asked for help like this before. She could not refuse him now.
She couldn't help herself anymore. Screw how it might look to other people, or how it might look against her profession. She quickly pushed past Kevin and made a run for Sousuke. He was on his feet quicker than one could imagine. He let out a painful grunt as Meredith slammed into him a wrapped her arms around him.
"Sousuke, please don't beg me to stay with you. I would do anything for you; you know that. What do you want me to do, Sousuke?"
He stopped for a moment, and pulled away from her embrace with another confused look on his face. He looked around the room he was in as if he were looking for something. He looked back at her with a blank expression on his face. He opened his mouth and stuttered a bit before managing to speak again.
"I... I don't know. I just want... you to... be here."
Meredith smiled in response to his words. He was not thinking quite clearly, but he certainly took comfort in her being there more than anyone else. He hadn't even seemed to have taken notice of his friend Kevin in the room, or any of the other doctors or nurses for that matter.
"Please, don't leave. I'm confused; I don't know what to do; please, tell me what I should do." he repeated once more.
Meredith was starting to put together what exactly Sousuke was wanting or not wanting her to tell him to do. He knew he killed all of the people that were on his team plus two innocents. She knew what it was that he was thinking of doing. He just wanted to know what she thought about him now; that would probably make his decision for him. The last thing she would want was to have more blood spilled, especially his blood. She tried her best to put a smirk on her face as if nothing was bothering. Amazingly enough she actually succeeded. She raised an eyebrow at him and rested her fists against her hips.
"Alright, I'll tell you what to do. The first thing that I suggest that you do is to not think anymore about what you were thinking about doing."
He looked away from her when she said that as if he were ashamed to look at her. He whispered under his breathe.
"Yes, ma'am." he said in an almost solemn voice.
"Good. Next thing that I want you to do is get some rest. You are trying to think clearly, and it's difficult to think clearly while under stressed and exhausted."
"I... can't rest. If I do, she'll come to..." he said before he was interrupted.
"I will stay here with you so that way you won't have to worry about that. Okay?"
Sousuke was silent and contemplative for a moment. Or, at least as contemplative as he could be at that moment. He seemed to be contemplating very hard, but his eyes seemed to act on their own. His eyes were wild.
"Thank you." he said in an almost inaudible voice.
She walked up to Sousuke and put her arm around him and pulled his arm over her shoulder for him. She was worried about his ability to walk; it didn't prove too promising before. She looked over at the nurse and gave her a slight wink.
"Nurse, please prepare another bed for Sergeant Sagara. I believe that the only thing he may need right now would be a good night's sleep."
The nurse smiled and nodded her head approvingly.
"Sure thing. It won't take long."
Kevin tried his best to block out the loud noises around him. He was forced to all night long, and had managed to quite successfully. The waiting room was obviously no place for sleeping, but he had managed to get a little shut eye anyway. But, now it was starting to bother him. He had managed to go to sleep, but it didn't seem to be enough. He was feeling groggy and had a hard time waking up. He could have easily gone back into his slumber but the yelling voice was persistent. The yelling wasn't directed at him but at someone else.
"What do you mean 'You can't see him at this moment?'" said a voice sarcastic voice behind him.
The voice sounded obviously angry despite the sarcasm present in the tone. It was also male. Kevin felt as if he knew the voice from somewhere before. It certainly did sound familiar. Now... if only he could coax his eyes to open.
"I have traveled all day and night yesterday to get here. Now, you're telling me I can't even see him?! He's my best friend for Pete's sake! I swear to God, if you do not let me back there to see him, there will be Hell to pay!"
"Mr. Webber, I'm sorry, but Mr. Sagara is in no condition to have visitors at this moment! We aren't even sure if he's awake yet."
"Well, I recommend that we go in there and wake his ass up! That lazy bum shouldn't be asleep right now! Hell, it's almost 9:00! I've never known of him to sleep that late!"
"Well, Sir, Mr. Sagara has been through some tough times lately. He really needs his rest."
"I'll show him tough times! I travel a damned 50,000 mile trip here to visit him, and where is that punk when I get here? In the bed! Yeah, I'll show him tough times." he raved.
Kevin finally managed to force his eyes to open. He stretched and groaned in the hard wooden seat before he turned around to look at the person behind him who was causing such a commotion. He grimaced at the tightness of his back as he tried to turn around. The small, hard, wooden chair was not exactly meant to be a place to sleep in the waiting room. He finally managed to turn around to look at the man behind him.
There was a medium height man with long blonde hair behind him flailing his arms around wildly. Kevin smiled. He looked like he was trying to command the elements or doing some sort of spastic dance. He knew from the voice and name that was mentioned earlier that this was Kurtz Webber, self-proclaimed best friend of Sousuke Sagara. He had never met the man before, but he had called twice the day before checking in on how Meredith was before. Meredith informed him as to whom Kurtz was after he called the first time. Since he had heard what he did about Kurtz, it didn't surprise him that the man had come halfway across the world to visit his friend. He had a large box of what appeared to be video tapes, food, clothing, candy, and many other things. The sight of the man flailing was even more humorous because of the handful of helium balloons he had in his hand that would jerk, bob, and thump about as he flailed his hands wildly. Kevin let out a bit of a chuckle that got frantic man's attention. The nurse that was standing there attempting negotiations with Kurtz looked at him with a distressed look on her face which momentarily sparked with a sign of hope.
"Good morning, Father Jacobs! This man is a friend of Mr. Sagara's. His name is Kurtz Webber and he seems to be a little bit distressed since he cannot see his friend as of this moment. Could you please try to fill him in on the ordeal exactly? While you do that, I'll go get some breakfast for you gentleman from the cafeteria."
Kevin nodded his head in acknowledgement. He stood up and stretched his back a little before sitting back down.
"Yes, I would be glad to. I wouldn't care to have a cup of black coffee, if you would be so kind."
He looked at Kurtz and motioned his hand over to the chair in front of him.
"Perhaps you would prefer to have a seat for a little while. I cannot ensure your comfort from these contraptions they call chairs."
Kurtz let out a laugh as he set down in the chair across from Kevin. He set the large box of stuff on the ground next to him and tied to balloons to the table.
"I'm shocked that I'm finally able to meet the legendary, Priest. And, I like him already. I like anyone with a sense of humor. Like I've always said, 'When you are feeling down, laugh, for someday..."
"You will be able to look back and laugh again." Kevin finished for him with a smirk.
"Yes, I think everyone knows your quote."
Kurtz smiled in great pride.
"Yes, but I'm only known by a quote. Everyone knows you by name and by deed. 'The man that can take down an AS with his bare hands!' Yeah, everyone knows of your deeds too."
Kevin smiled once again at the genial man in front of him.
"Only the good ones." he said with a laugh.
"Hey, Father, just so you..."
"Kevin. Kevin will do fine."
"Sure thing. What I was saying is that I would love nothing more than to be able to gab with you about everything, but I really would like to know about Sousuke. I don't mean to sound like an assh... excuse me for my language... I'm kind of worried about him. They only told me that he wasn't in very good condition, and now they won't let me..."
"That's enough. I fully understand your concern. Let me tell you then."
"First, I'm sure you know by now the mission that Sousuke was sent on, right?"
Kurtz put on a serious expression and nodded his head.
"Then, I won't have to tell you about that. I'll instead tell you what happened. To make a long story short, it seems as if his target was expecting them. Everyone on his team was brutally murdered. From the looks of what happened to him: it seems as if he must have tried to jump in the way of a grenade to protect two innocents that were in a house there. The first of the innocents was a man named David Pyre. He was a business associate and interceptor of many Japanese trading companies. Why the target attacked this man, no one knows for sure. The second was his ten year old daughter, Karen Pyre. It makes me sick even just thinking about that. But, it doesn't matter what I think; I'll just stick to the report I read. So, apparently, Sergeant Sagara tried to shield the innocents from a grenade that was thrown by one of the henchmen of the target. It seems as if the assassin just assumed everyone to be dead, and rightfully so. Everyone is still baffled as to how Sousuke is still alive."
Kurtz took a huge smile across his face as the priest's words seemed to brighten him up.
"I'll tell you how. He has the luck of the divine on his side. Plus, he's a tough little son of a bit... sorry for my language... he's pretty tough." he said as if he had stuck his foot in his mouth.
Kevin chuckled quietly at the man he was starting to perceive as a jester.
Kurtz cleared his throat and his face once again went grim.
"So, Sousuke had to watch as two innocent died, huh? I can't even begin to imagine how I would feel if I were to witness something like that."
Kevin sighed and nodded his head in acknowledgment. He had given it a lot of thought despite his better wishes not to.
"So, how is Sousuke exactly? From the way you were talking, he seems to be alright, but according to the staff wanting to keep my as... butt out of, I would get the idea that he wasn't fairing too well. So, is he really alright?"
"Yes, physically. Last night he was up and walking around despite what I would think to be critical injuries. The major thing that is wrong is that, as you could imagine, he's been injured emotionally. He keeps blaming himself for the incident, and none of the doctors or nurses could do anything to help him or make him rest."
"So, I take it that Meredith's back there with him?"
"Yes." he spoke along with letting out a sigh. "Despite my attempts to get her not to. I guess I'm just being a little bit too protective, though."
Kurtz smiled and let out a loud yawn.
"Yep, I understand how you feel about that. But, Sousuke would never harm a hair on that lady's head. He cares too much for her. Plus, I can't think of anyone that may be able to help Sousuke any better than her. From what I've heard, she's been a blessing to him."
"Yes, perhaps you're right. God does provide best for his children."
"I couldn't agree more."
Kurtz let out a sigh and looked around the room. He glanced down at his watch to see the time being just a little bit after nine o'clock in the morning.
"Well, I don't think they're going to let us back there to see Sousuke for a while, so, want to head to the cafeteria? I could really stand to stretch my legs, and it would save that nurse the walk back. Not to mention I'm absolutely starving to death. That food they were serving on the plane? I think it was poison."
Kevin smiled and noded his head. It seemed as if the man had just read his mind since he was just about to ask the same thing.
The sun's rays filled Sousuke's room and seemed to stop directly on his eyelids. He opened his eyes in a faint squint to see everything in a shiny blur. He rolled around so that the sun was not in his eyes. He opened his eyes to where he could actually see. The first thing he saw was Meredith with her mouth gaping open in a wide yawn. Her usually neatly pressed clothing was wrinkled up in places, and her hair that she constantly kept fixed still looked alright to him, but she would have considered it to be a mess. He smiled at the scene in front of him. She looked over to see him smiling and smiled back at him.
"Well, good morning! It's about time you woke up; I was just getting ready to take another nap myself."
Sousuke looked at her strangely and immediately looked around the room for a clock. There was one hanging on the wall. The time read to be 11:23 a.m. He frowned when he realized the time. He could never remember sleeping that late before. Sleeping so late was inexcusable to a professional. He then started to realize where he was. Then, he frowned when he once again realized the circumstances leading up to where he currently was. Meredith noticed the sudden change of facial expression.
"Sousuke, are you alright?" she asked in a worried voice.
"No, not really. Meredith, I'm a horrible person. I'm not crazy; I wasn't just rambling last night. I really did kill those..."
"Sousuke, I know. And, I know you well enough to know that you would never have done anything like that. That may have been you in body, but it wasn't you in spirit. Now, as far as I, Kevin, the doctors and nurses here, and the rest of Mithril are concerned, there is no way that you cold have killed all of those people. I would highly suggest that you think that way also. Whatever happened, it wasn't your fault. You and I are the only people that know what actually happened; no one else has to know, because that wasn't really you doing that. Do you understand?"
Sousuke paused for a moment before replying. He nodded his head but kept the troubled expression on his face.
"I know it wasn't me in mind. But, that was still me who killed everyone, including Karen."
"Karen? Who's Karen?" she asked in a more confused voice than she meant to.
"The little girl that you dreamed about in your dream was the same one that I... or... you know... killed. That was Karen."
"I see. I can't begin to imagine how that ways on your conscience, but you must remember that you were not..."
"No, you don't understand. I don't know how to explain it, but she is targeting me."
"Sousuke, she's dead."
"You think I don't know that!" he shouted louder than he meant to. He lowered his voice again before speaking again.
"I know she's dead. I did kill her after all. And, as of now, she's pissed about it. She's incorporeal, intangible, invisible to everyone except me, she's..."
"A ghost?" Meredith suggested while raising her eyebrow.
"Yes, that's the best thing I can use to describe her."
"And, she wants to..."
"Hurt me. No, kill me. She already tried to twice last night. That's why I couldn't sleep until you came."
Meredith sighed out a long breathe. She looked over at Sousuke with the utmost sympathy. She grabbed hold of his hand and squeezed it tightly.
"Listen, Sousuke. I know this is tough for you, but Karen is dead. She is not back from the dead trying to get revenge. I know that she may be in your mind. And, in your mind she may be trying to kill you. But, you have to understand that..."
Sousuke looked at her suspiciously. Those horrible eyes were back. They, in all actuality, did not look any different than his actual, but she could tell there was something different about them. Perhaps, it was the powers of the Whispered. However, she knew that those were the eyes of the person who killed all of those people; those were not the eyes of Sousuke. There was a fleeting trace of emotion in those eyes before it was gone again. The emotion was that of anger, but much more of hurt, disappointment, and betrayal. He was badly hurt because she did not believe him. He almost sneered in disgust. But, instead a quick tear made its way down his cheek. He violently wiped it away as if he were disgusted by his weakness. He quickly slid to the side of his bed and began putting on his uniform. He was a little bit more enthusiastic in pulling on his clothing than he should have been.
"Sousuke, I'm sorry. I... it's just that... I..."
His interrupting reply came much sooner than expected. Also, it was in a tone that was dreaded, but not unknown to her. He sounded like he did when they first met.
"Miss Rily, I trust your judgment concerning the matter of my emotional and mental condition. But, in this instance I cannot come to the same affirmation as you do, thus I must throw caution to the wind and go against your suggestion. I should consider that you are the one fully capable of knowing my emotional and mental stasis better than anyone, but this past conversation has proven to me that in some cases your judgment may not be in the best interests of mine. Thus, I will have to consider all recent and prior judgments and advice from your judgment null. All time in your counseling has been an unfruitful consumption of time. Also, all further such contact would likewise be an unfruitful consumption of time."
Meredith looked at him totally flabbergasted. It had been so long since he had referred to her as Ms. Rily. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. She never would have expected, but had dreaded if the day would come when all the forward process that she had made with Sousuke would backfire. It seemed that with just a few words, that fear had come true. Now, he was saying something even worse than she would have ever expected.
"S... Sousuke? You're saying that we shouldn't ever see each other again? You're saying that all the time we spent together was a waste of time?"
She let out a forced, nervous laugh.
"I know... you're just kidding, right? Am I right?" she questioned while trying to hold back the tears.
"Negative. Kidding about on such a matter would also prove to be an unfruitful consumption of..."
"What do you mean, 'Negative.' You can't be serious about this! I mean... you just need to think things through a little bit. I'm sorry if I sounded like I didn't believe you. Why don't you just think things through a little bit more?"
Sousuke pulled the laces tightly on his boots. He had to loosen them back up since he pulled a little bit hard on them than he meant to.
"Negative. Contemplating the topic would likewise be a waste of time for the both of us. We are both very busy people, and our time is precious to us. I think that..."
"Damn you, Sousuke! I have been worried sick about you. I have been feeling dreadful ever since you left that morning. I have been waiting mostly by the phone waiting to hear from you, to let me know you were okay. Now, the only thing you can do for me is rip out my heart, drop it on the floor, and kick it across the room?!"
"Negative. If I were to rip your heart out, you would not be standing there right now. I have no desire to rip..."
"Sousuke! What is wrong with you?!" she yelled.
"Nothing is wrong with me. There was something wrong with me before, but now I intend to correct that problem." he stated matter-of-factly.
"But... but what about our feelings we shared. Are you just going to forget about those? Are you going to say that they were also a waste?"
"Affirmative. It is very unsuitable for a specialist to have such emotions. It is even more so to have such emotions for a fellow comrade."
Meredith still could not believe what she was hearing. Everything was so sudden. Once again, the eyes did not belong to Sousuke, but she was still talking to Sousuke. But, this was the Sousuke that she met two years ago. All developments had seemed to have been dropped like a hot potato.
"Meredith."
Meredith held her breath. It sounded once again like the Sousuke she knew was back. His voice was soft, not emotionless.
"Realization has hit me. I want you to know that this is not as a result of anything that you have done. This is my entire fault. Reality kicked me harshly just a little while ago when you didn't believe me. I understand my problem and I realize that I have to deal with it myself. I also realize that merely by being here, I may be endangering you. I cannot allow for this to happen. Since the 4th Mithril Branch has been destroyed, I will put in temporarily at the 17th Mithril Branch and go from there. I am quite aware of what has happened to you recently, and as such, I will have you placed under the best protection available. I will request for Father Jacobs to provide the protection for you that he sees fit. I do not doubt that you don't trust me at all right now, but if by chance you do, you will realize that I am doing this for the better of both of us. Our continuing to be around each other could very well be detrimental for you."
Meredith stared hatefully at the back of Sousuke Sagara. She felt the anger well up deeply inside of her. It made her angry because of what he was doing; it made her even angrier because he sounded so noble. She could not hold back her anger or sadness anymore.
"I can't believe you, Sousuke! How do you know what is best for me?! I would love nothing more than to be with you, you jerk! You are sounding absolutely ridiculous!"
Sousuke stood up and looked in the mirror. He began fixating his flattened hat to the position it was supposed to be. Meredith saw his face in the mirror. He truly looked torn. His eyes were back to the ones that she knew. He was once again Sousuke.
"I... I'm sorry if that's how you feel."
She could tell he meant well by his words, but for some reason, they made her even angrier. She clenched her fists tightly, squinted her eyes closed, and gritted her teeth. It took everything she had to hold back the uncontrollable sobs that were trying to come forth.
"I... I hate you." she said in a barely audible, cracking voice.
Sousuke froze. He clenched his fists tightly and by the expression on his face, one would have thought that all life had drained out of his body. He looked more hurt than she had ever seen him before.
"Sousuke... I'm sor..."
He snapped his eyes back to attention. A sneer made its way across his face and then his expression went unemotional once again. He was still looking in the mirror, so she could still see his face clearly. The only thing out of place on his stoic face was a single tear slowly making its way down the side of his face.
"It is not a problem." he said in a truly unreadable tone as he turned and left the room.
Little did Meredith know that standing in that room crying would be the last time she would ever see Sousuke alive.
TO BE CONTINUED
Author's Notes: Well, these flashbacks certainly have lasted a lot longer than I originally thought they would. But, the story will pick up again next chapter. All of this sad, depressing story will start working out a little bit for the better next chapter. I can't say what is going to happen though for fear of ruining the story. I want to thank all of those who have read and reviewed my story so far. I hope that the story will get a bit better in the next few chapters. The next chapter should be out shortly. Thank you.