Living Doll was going to be it for 2004, but the landlord's stupid alarm is going off in my house and I can't stop it. Since it's five in the morning on Christmas day and there's hours before anything happens, I'm tidying this old crazy story up and posting.

Someone said something in someone else's review about there being too many Emily stories, and I'm not going to comment here on the large number of stories featuring other friends characters that have exactly the same plot. If that's harsh, remember I'm feeling grumpy because of the noise – if you can't bear the story/ theme/ characters, don't read it.

Babylove

Emily Waltham arrived for work at the Child Care Centre a little late. It was her last day at work before she went on maternity leave and she really didn't want to be there. Just one more day, she thought happily, laying a hand on her belly. She was tired all the time and she was finding it difficult to lift. All she had been doing for the last month was paper work and a little helping out in the rooms when needed. She was looking forward to looking after her own baby and no-one else's.

We've had a few additions today,' Abigail told her when she arrived. Emily was to help out in the room for one year olds until after lunch, when she would be helping in the three year old's room. The three year olds had been her regular room while she was still able to move comfortably but she wasn't able to pick them up so easily any more and running after them was even harder. She was glad that at least she wouldn't be getting the two year olds. She could do without the screaming and the noise today.

New children?'

Just here for the day.' Abigail indicated a fair haired child on a rug near the radio. That's Phoebe,' Abigail said. She's lovely.'

That's a pretty name,' Emily said, You don't hear that one much.' She had met a Phoebe once, in an awful place at an awful time that she preferred not to think about. She looked at the records. Phoebe Buffay.

A memory stirred her. Wasn't that the other Phoebe's name? Emily frowned. It was most unlikely that there would be two, although of course one was definitely a grown up. She had never even heard of the last name Buffay' until she had met Phoebe – the original Phoebe. She didn't want to be thinking about such awful things at this time – although Phoebe had not been awful. She'd been pregnant too – with her brother's children. That would have been a difficult one to explain but it was just a surrogacy arrangement and not at all disgusting. She glanced at baby Phoebe. She was sitting there, gurgling at the music. She was very sweet.

Abigail called out, carrying in a screaming child.

Hey Emily, write this one down will you – Rachel Karen Green.'

What?' Her pen froze above the room register. She remembered that name. She had every reason to hate it.

Rachel Karen Green,' said Abigail. It's not that hard.' Emily wrote it down in a daze.

Green with an e or the end or without?' she asked.

Without.' What the hell was going on? Emily went over to look at Rachel who was proving difficult to soothe. Fair hair but not as fair as Phoebe's so it would darken in time

Abigail looked at her.

Emily are you all right? You're looking a little strange.'

I'm all right,' Emily said. How could she say, that child has the name of the woman I hated most in the world and that other child has the same name as a friend of hers? This was just a horrible coincidence.

Are you sure? We can manage without you.' Emily put her hand to her mouth. Her baby had moved and was now putting pressure on her stomach and giving her heartburn. Once, that expression had meant something very different. What is it?'

The baby's squashing my stomach.' That was something she had learned since being pregnant. Her stomach was not her belly but something which did not like to be kicked by prenatal feet. The feeling that she wanted to regurgitate something passed. I'm all right, really I am.'

Another child needed attention and Emily went to do the change, taking refuge in normal routines. This child, Helen, was a bit of a favourite of hers and she talked baby nonsense to her while she changed her. She'd like a baby like this. She had just put Helen back where she belonged and was clearing up when Abigail said,

Another one, this is Monica Geller.' Emily dropped the talcum powder. The lid fell off and powder scattered everywhere.

What did you say?'

Monica Geller. And her brother's in the three year old room. Emily, what's the matter with you?'

Who dropped them off?' Emily asked ignoring her.

Their parents of course'

Emily had hurried out of the room, down the corridor, out of reception to the front. She saw two oddly familiar figures get into the car.

Jack and Judy,' Emily breathed. But somehow, not as old as she remembered. Jenny the receptionist had followed her out.

Emily what's the matter? Do we need to get them back?'

No,' Emily said, No, it's all right. I thought I knew them that's all.' Jenny looked down at her feet.

You've got talcum powder all over your feet.' Oh that. She remembered the mess she'd left which she'd have to clear up. But she had to check up on something.

Will you show me the list of names of new children?' Jenny frowned,

Sure.' Emily looked on the list. There they were: Phoebe Buffay, Rachel Green, Ross Geller, Monica Geller. And Joseph Tribianni and Chandler Bing.

Poor little kid,' Jenny said, Chandler. I mean as if the name Bing wasn't hard enough to live down, he gets lumbered with Chandler. He looked a miserable little thing too. Probably knows what a rotten deal he's had.'

It's unbelievable,' Emily said.

I know. I hope you don't give your child a stupid name.'

She will be Claire if a girl and David if a boy,' Emily said. She had asked not to be told what she was having when she had had her ultrasound. She had heard that they got it wrong sometimes, so maybe it was better not to ask.

Oh yes, Claire Matthews, David Matthews, that works,' Jenny said.

I'd better get back to the room,' Emily said.

Emily cleared up the mess she had made and then continued with her work. Because she was having less to do with the physical side of the care, she didn't have to have much to do with Phoebe, Rachel and Monica. She avoided them anyway. They had all had to be changed once before lunch, but Abigail and the third assistant had done those changes.

It was all too weird. She checked the names on the register more than once, in case she had somehow deluded herself. She tried pinching herself to see that she really was awake and was not having some odd dream, but it seemed that it really was happening. Although she kept away from Monica, Phoebe and Rachel she watched them covertly. They couldn't really be she knew that the real Monica, Phoebe and Rachel were in New York, as fully grown adults of about thirty, doing whatever it was they were doing – Rachel with Ross of course, or perhaps they were still pretending So they couldn't possibly be here as infants. Quite impossible.

It was lunchtime and they were feeding the children.

This one is so difficult to feed,' Abigail said of Monica, who was screwing up her face in disgust. Emily didn't blame her. There was no way she was feeding her baby on that muck. They didn't know at work that she wasn't coming back after her baby was born. She wasn't intending to be a stay at home mother indefinitely, but she and her husband had decided that for the first few years she would. In that time, she would retrain for a different sort of job.

How are the other new ones?' Emily asked.

Phoebe's a little doll – I'd love to take her home. She just smiles and smiles. That other one is not happy though.' Emily had heard Rachel cry several times. It never lasted long but it was frequent.

She's probably not used to being left,' Emily said. Some children took a while to get used to the routine. There were a few children who never got used to it.

I was told she's been in child care before.' Maybe she missed her usual carers, Emily thought. That wouldn't be so unusual either. I just can't work out what she wants. It seems she wants to be changed, then she doesn't, she's too hot and then she's not, she's hungry, but then she isn't, she wants a cuddle and then she doesn't.'

She isn't ill is she? Have you taken her temperature?' Emily asked.

She's fine, she's just very awkward. I mean this other one, Monica is very fussy, but at least she's consistent. I know she's hungry but she just doesn't like the food.' Abigail lifted the dish and sniffed. It smells all right to me.' Emily refrained from asking if she'd eat it herself. There was no point antagonising people on her last day and in any case, there wasn't anything Abigail could do about the food. Rachel is just difficult.' They heard her wail again. There she goes, well Monica isn't having any more of this.' Abigail left Monica and picked Rachel up. I've already fed Rachel and I just changed her. She doesn't feel too hot or too cold. She just doesn't want me.' Emily had just finished feeding her charge and Abigail said, here you hold her.' Rachel screamed even louder and Emily could feel some protest kicking from her baby.

She doesn't like me either.' And my baby doesn't like her, she thought to herself. Ow,' she said as a kick from inside hurt her. Sure enough, when she handed Rachel back, the kicking stopped. Rachel also stopped screaming and Abigail held her for a while.

There there, there there,' she soothed.

She doesn't crawl much,' Emily said.

She hasn't crawled at all.' Really judging from her age, Rachel should be walking like Monica and Phoebe, but Emily had seen that Rachel didn't move from wherever she was put down.

Developmentally delayed?'

No, apparently she's like that. She likes to be picked up and carried everywhere. I think her parents have spoiled her. Look at the clothes she's dressed in.' Her parents had spared no expense there.

After Emily had had her own lunch she went to the three year olds room where she was providing back up assistant. That was her usual room. Now someone else was in charge, and she was just a visitor, so she waited to be told what to do.

Would you do a story?' Nina asked. I've got to toilet a few of them. One of them has wet his pants again.' Emily nodded. Taking the book she gathered the children around her. Most of the three year olds remembered her and there was competition to sit as close to her as possible. She was very surprised that the winner of the contest to sit on her left hand side was won by a child who was a stranger to her, a dark haired boy with what she could tell would end up being a big nose. She thought little of it until it was time to get off the floor, something that required careful planning.

You've got a baby in there,' the child observed in a serious voice. In an american accent. It had already been a strange day, and she shivered.

Yes.' A lot of these children had younger siblings so knew what pregnancy was, at least in the way a three year old could understand. The little boy put a hand on her belly. Her own baby kicked against it.

He kicked me,' the boy said, sounding offended.

It might be a girl,' Emily said. From the way some men behaved they deserved to be kicked by females. Repeatedly. She stood up and started to arrange the next activity but found that the little boy was sticking close to her and had wrapped himself around her leg. Please don't – ' she glanced at Nina who had long since returned, What's his name?'

Ross.' It would be.

Please don't Ross.' She couldn't move without hurting him or risking falling over herself. Nina had come to the rescue and was helping unfasten Ross's hands from her skirt.

Come and play with Chandler, Ross, he's all by himself.' Nina led Ross to a solitary child playing with blocks. Emily nearly tripped over a child who was lying in front of her trying to look up her skirt. She normally wore trousers for this job, but since her pregnancy had found skirts and dresses more comfortable. It wasn't unusual for three year old boys to do this sort of thing but there was something disconcertingly familiar about this one.

Get up Joey, that's not very nice,' she said, stepping around him.

How do you know his name is Joey?' the assistant said.

Oh just a guess,' Emily said. She knew everything except how this day would end.

You do look tired, do you want to sit down for a while? We've got some paperwork. You know who most of the children are so you could so some reports.' Emily sat down and worked on the reports, watching the children. She had to look at the types of things they were doing so as to provide a record of their development. How many blocks did they stack? How well did they do their jigsaw puzzles? How complex were their sentences? By watching closely they could get an idea of how the children were developing and report back to the parents if they noticed any problems.

Ross came and played next to her. Joey was running around after the other carers, far more interested in them than the other children. Chandler was on his own again. She felt her head ache. Nina approached her and said,

You don't look well.'

I've just got a headache.'

I heard you had a screamer in the one year old room.'

Yes,' Emily said, but she didn't think Rachel was the cause of the headache – or at least not on her own. There were six causes.

Do you want to go home?' Nina asked. I can call Peter for you.'

All right,' she said, and suddenly she felt tremendously relieved.

Not well?' Peter asked when she got in the car.

Actually I'm feeling a lot better now,' Emily said, which was true. Now that she was out of there and away from those six children she was feeling happier. Do you have to go back to work?' Emily asked.

Yes,' he said, but I've got a bit of time for a cuddle with you.' They smiled and she forgot the six children.