"Hello Harry, I am Mr. Cheese," Said the funny bit of yellow dancing in the sky "I am Mr. cheese, I am Mr. Cheese" Harry stretched out to grab him but he seemed to be getting further and further away.
"No! Come back, Mr. Cheese!" Harry yelled, and suddenly awoke. Ron was shining a yellow light in his eyes.
"Harry. Why were you calling me Mr. Cheese?" he asked, seeming somewhat puzzled.
"Oh…no reason." Harry rubbed his eyes and sat up. "Why did you wake me up?"
"I think you should see this." Ron crossed to the window of the dorm and looked out, a disbelieving look playing across his face.
"What? I can't be bothered to get up." Harry yawned and stretched, kicking off the bedclothes and beginning to dress.
"Malfoy. Dancing." With those two words, Harry jumped up and rushed over to the window. And, it was indeed true – Malfoy was dancing in the snow.
"What did you do to him?" Harry asked incredulously, staring down at his enemy as he pirouetted into a snowman and fell over with a loud thud and cry of "Ow!"
"Nothing. I reckon all those years of being a git finally got to him." Ron said, running back to his own trunk and pulling out a shirt and trousers. Harry stared at him in confusion.
"Don't you want to watch?"
"Yes. But I think we can get a better view from down there. Hurry up!"
"Ok I'm coming!" Yelled Harry, opening the window. He gracefully stepped onto the ledge, and dived.
"Somewhere, all alone in the moonlight!" Sang Malfoy, sliding over to Harry as he hit the ground with a thump.
"Mr.….Mr. Cheese?" Harry said to the dancing shape above him "Is that you?"
"Don't be ridiculous Potter. How could I be a cheese? I'm a dancing bean!" Malfoy yelped excitedly, before starting to sing 'Night Fever' and conga-ing in a circle around Harry.
"Look out below!" yelled someone far above, and suddenly Ron was flying through the air, and landed next to Harry with an "Oof!"
"What's Malfoy doing?" Ron asked, trying to catch his breath.
"Dancing bean." Explained Harry, getting up and looking up towards the castle. "Um...Ron...I really think you should get up."
"Why? It's fun down here. It's all...snowy." Ron said, playfully picking up some snow and dropping it on his own head.
"Ron...I really think you should get up..."
"But why?" moaned Ron. "I like it down here, Harry, please don't make me get up, please, pleeeaase...."
"Your loss!" said Harry, looking up at the Slytherin tower dubiously. Suddenly there was a yell, and Ron paled, as he looked up and realised exactly what was going on.
"Look out belooow!" yelled Crabbe and Goyle as one, as they threw themselves out of the window.
"Oh...crap." Ron muttered, as the two rather large boys crash-landed on top of Ron.
"Oww...."
"Don't say I didn't warn you" Harry sighed. "I'll get them off you" He flicked his wand, and a large pile of snow fell on top of them with a flump. They resembled three mutated snowmen.
"Harry!" Ron yelled, muffled in snow
"Sorry…" He dragged Ron out of the snow
"I feel like dancing… Hey Malfoy!" He glided over and started waltzing with him. Malfoy was extremely pleased that he had finally found a dancing partner, and went a bit over the top with the twirling and the whirling.
Suddenly, Hermione rushed out from the castle. She was being followed closely by a mob of Slytherin girls.
"But...Hermione!" one shrieked. "We love you! We want you! We need you! Come back to us!"
Hermione reached Harry and looked around wildly. "Quickly! Hide me!" she shrieked, curling up in ball on the floor. Harry promptly sat on her.
"Where is she?" cried a love-crazed Slytherin girl as she rushed towards Harry. "Where is our love?"
"Um...can't tell you that." Said Harry. Somewhere below him, Hermione started humming. Harry kicked her, and she shut up.
"Was your bottom just humming?" asked the girl, in a very confused way.
"No." said Harry, shaking his head. "No...it was just getting into the spirit of things."
"Yes." Came a muffled voice.
"Did your bottom just...speak?" asked the girl, even more confused.
"No. It's a figment of your imagination." Said Harry's bottom. Harry farted rather loudly, and Hermione shut up.
"Oh, ok then." Said the girl. She whispered something to the girls, who turned their attention on Ron
"Ron!" one shrieked. "We love you! We want you! We need you! Come to us!"
Ron looked at Harry pleadingly.
"I can't hide both of you!"
Ron dived into the snow headfirst so only his feet were sticking out.
"Oh." Said Malfoy disappointed. He cast around for someone else to dance with. "Professor Snape!"
Snape had come striding across the grounds, surprisingly wearing nothing but a pink bikini.
"Professor...what are you wearing? I like it! It brings out the colour in your ears." Malfoy said excitedly.
"Why thank you, Malfoy. Me and the headmaster got...erm...a tad drunk, and dared eachother to wear...certain things." Snape said, bowing graciously and accepting Malfoy's invitation to slow-dance.
"Well, I'd say you got off worst." Said Harry, raising his eyebrows.
"Oh, I wouldn't be so sure." Said Snape over Malfoy's shoulder. "You haven't seen what Dumbledore's wearing."
Right on cue, came Dumbledore strolling in. He was wearing…. Professor McGonagall. She was draped over his shoulder, then wrapped round his waist, he had a trench coat on over the top.
"I told you so." Said Snape, smirking, while all the students stood and gawped (except for Malfoy, who kept slow-dancing)
Dumbledore ambled up towards Harry, grinning like a loon.
"Why, hello, Potter. Like my new get-up?"
"Urm...yes...it's very....-" Harry was cut short by a burst of laughter from his bottom.
"Did your bottom just laugh Harry? We better get you up to the hospital wing. Walking or Dancing?"
"Er…I'll just walk thanks"
"Dancing it is!" Cried Dumbledore, clapping his hands. He seized Harry's hand, and led him through the doors humming Blue Danube waltz
"Help me!" Harry mouthed at Hermione.
But Hermione was pre-occupied with her own problems. As soon as Harry had been lifted from her head, the entire female population of the Slytherin house had rugby-tackled her.
In the snowdrift, Ron's feet twitched slightly. The sound of Dumbledore's humming resounded through the school. Snape's bikini bottoms slipped slightly, but he yanked them up quickly.
And Crabbe and Goyle simultaneously rose to their feet and started doing a dance routine to Christina Aguilera's "Dirrty".