((A/N: I guess this one may be a little racier, but I don't think it deserves an R rating... I don't know... I hope I don't get in trouble....))

Pile of books were stacked all around Zack, and he burried himself in the first one that sounded somewhat relevent. There would be an test and field exam at the begining January. It was through these tests rather than battlefield merit that ranks were earned. If he could pass this test better than the three others vying for the position, he would be a General.

There would me more missions. In fact, he could probably sacrifice the apartment all-together. Hours before, he would've never conisdered even taking the test. Now, he was looking for anything to get his mind off what just happened. He already missed Cloud. It was Christmas Eve... no, now it was probably well mast midnight. It was Christmas, and he was utterly alone.

"What are you doing here at this time of night?" The deep voice of one Sephiroth caught him completely off guard, "I mean... what about Strife? Don't you two got somethin' planned?" Zack cringed at the mere mention.

"I broke up with him." Zack said, matter-of-factly. Sephiroth took a seat next to him. The man looked wrong out of his usual outfit. Seeing the man in civilian clothing was almost surreal.

"What the hell did you do something like that?" the man looked genuinely surprised, "I thought you loved him." he spat back the words Zack had used long before when he broke it off between them.

"Shut up." Zack whispered, "You know damn well I love him. It's just...." he sighed, "...I can't give him what he needs. You know that. He's not the kind of person who can deal with me being gone all the time... I made a promise but I couldn't keep it. That kinda stuff hurts him bad." Honestly, Sephiroth was about the last person Zack wanted to talk to about this, but he was the only one available. Really, the only person close to him besides Cloud. And now Cloud was his past as well.

"So... you broke up with him because you love him and he needs you?" Sephiroth asked, looking slightly confused, "What the hell kind of logic is that?"

And the General... the one so many thought was a heartless bastard, had never been more right.

The first sense that returned to Cloud when he began to regain conciousness was the stabbing cold clinging to his body. It took him a few moments to puzzle out where he was, but the events of the night soon returned to him. More pain stabbed, this coldness coming from within.

"Fucking Christmas." he murmered, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and rubbing his eyes. The stung from tears he hazily remembered shedding. Even though the pain was real as could be, the events were hazy and diluted. All he knew was that Zack no longer wanted him. The day he had been constantly dreading had come to pass, and the pain was infinitely worse than he could've ever imagined.

He was still wet, his clothes seeming a lot less dry than they should have been after what must've been at least hours of sleep. He let out a groan, running his fingers through his hair. Everything stung despite its numbness. His eyes burnt and his heart throbbed with pain. His first attempt to warm himself was shedding the skin-tight black T shirt, then the equally tight-fitting jeans. He hesitated a moment, though he wasn't sure why, before shedding the boxers as well. He looked over his body, which actually held a bluish cast.

"No wonder." he laughed slightly, even as he criticized himself. "Sephiroth probably made me look like a midget..." he mumbled as he stood, stretching a little before he padded off into the attatched bathroom and started the shower, waiting for the hot water to reach its full blast before stepping in. He barely cringed as the scaulding water hit his skin, causing steam to rise instantly off his body and clouding the bathroom.

The painfully hot water felt good on his pale, now reddening, skin. It washed away the events of the previous night... pushed aside, for a brief moment, the pain his former lover had caused him.

And that was his exact goal, even as the burning pain began to set in.

Zack arrived at Cloud's apartment with two large bags full of wrapped gifts. Though he was outwardly confident, his heart was praying that Cloud would take him back. He had absolutely no reason to do this, but Zack could still hope. He prayed Cloud would understand that he was sorry, that he never meant it the way Cloud took it, that he needed Cloud even more than Cloud needed him.

When he reached the door to Cloud's small dorm, he found a peculiar sight. His door was wide open, steam pouring out of the room. Zack frowned inwardly as he let himself in and closed the door behind him. The dorm was a wreck, as usual, and Zack noticed a wet trail as he kicked off his shoes and headed into Cloud's room. He found his wet clothes from the night before on his bed, equally soaked, and saw massive amounts of steam rolling out of the bathroom with the slightly opened door.

"Cloud..." he called, a little worry in his voice. How the hell hot was the water to make so much steam? "...you alright!?"

Cloud smiled to himself. He swore he heard Zack's voice, but was sure it was merely another trick his mind was playing on him. Maybe he was going insane... would things be better that way? He was becoming more and more aware of the near-boiling water pelting his back and was breathing harder in the pain. His skin prickled and he was sure he was breaking out in a sweat.

"Cloud, are you okay in there!?" The voice was louder now, and he was sure the room was clearing of steam. Had the door opened? He knew Zack wasn't really there...

"CLOUD!" The voice screamed now. Zack was fanning his way through the heavy steam when he pulled Cloud forcefully out of the shower. His entire body was beat-red, his eyes the only exception, and even they held a pinkish cast. "What the hell were you doing?"

Cloud felt woozy, and was sure he'd passed out and was actually a heap at the bottom of the shower stall. He was probably dying from heat... perhaps he was drowning. His lungs did scream out in that kind of pain.

"Zack..." he mumbled, wrapping his arms around the man for support. He stumbled and slipped around on the wet floor like a drunkard, but Zack supported his weight fully.

"Cloud..." he murmered, pulling the boy out of the room and laying him out on the bed. Cloud gazed up at him with a dazed look in his eyes. Zack just shook his head and retreated to the bathroom to turn of the shower water and grab some towels for his young love. He quickly wrapped one around his waist and sat him up, drying his upper body with the other.

".....why... are... you... here?" Cloud mumbled, a sudden weariness spreading over him. Had he actually slept that night? It seemed now that he may have remained in one of those miserable stupors for the entirity of his PM hours, and was now about to drop at any moment.

"To apologize." Zack grunted, rubbing the towel over Cloud's shoulders and chest. He could actually feel the boy's heart pumping out against his hand as he dried his thin chest, "And get you cooled down, I suppose." he added with a sigh. What the hell was Cloud thinking?

"heh. You....shouldn't apologize.... it's my fault."

"Like hell...." Zack murmered, leaning down and drying Cloud's legs, then going back up and ravaging his wild mess of blond hair, "You know damn well it was just me being an idiot. Now take me back like a good little boy." A smile crossed his lips and he had the sudden urge to kiss Cloud, but thought better of it. He was probably still upset with him from the night before.

"You know I already have." Cloud smiled, leaning back against Zack as his eyes fell shut. He didn't know what was real and what was just a dream, though he believed Zack's presence to be the latter. "Let's just have a good Christmas day." he added, a smile on his face. The bright color was finally begining to leave his skin, though he still looked burnt in some places. Zack noticed this and made a mental note to grab some sort of lotion next time he went to the store.

"Thanks, babe." Zack brushed his neck with a gentle kiss, "You don't know how sorry I am..." he now stood and went to Cloud's dresser, retrieving a pair of boxers for him. "Now put these on..." he tossed them onto Cloud's lap. Cloud stared blankly at them for a moment before he seemed to snap back into reality and shook his head to clear it. He stood and turned away from Zack as he pulled them on. It was a meaningless move, since Zack had already seen everything Cloud had to hide... on several occasions. Zack couldn't help to smile at the boy and pulled him into his arms once he finished.

"What time is it?" Cloud asked, burrying his face into Zack's chest and wrapping his arms around his waist in return.

"About nine... it's still early. You can sleep for a bit if you want to still...." Zack suggested.

"No way.... I wanna give you your gift..." Cloud pulled back, a wide smile on his face when he looked into Zack's eyes. He lifted himself up on his toes and planted a kiss on his lips.

"You've got some too..." Zack laughed as Cloud dragged him out into the front room. Was it really this simple? Would Cloud really just take him back like this without a second thought? He found it comforting, but still felt guilty. He'd been an idiot to Cloud... he knew he really didn't deserve to be taken back. And still, he was. The young recruit was forgiving... perhaps overly so, but it didn't matter. Maybe after Christmas, when thoughts were no longer diluted with dreams of happiness and togetherness, he would come to his senses. Zack could only pray he didn't.

"Here....I'll go grab the bags... you sit." he smiled, pushing him back onto the couch. Zack dashed over to the door and grabbed the two huge bags, pulling them back with relative ease. "Here..." He tossed one of the bags into Cloud's arms and kept the other. "I seperated them, so let's just go!" They both grinned and neither took much time shredding the wrapping paper and opening all of the presents.

Cloud found himself in a sea of gauntlets and materia, various accessories, and a few hundred gil worth of various restoratives. These would be more than helpfull in his upcoming field exams. Zack was always so thoughtful, and he wish he'd found things better than the various aftersaves and colognes, the new leather gloves... and that materia. That perfectly black materia.

This gift seemed to catch the attention of Zack as well, as he held it between two fingers, examining it closely.

"Holy shit, Cloud.... is this thing real?" he asked, wonder in his voice. He'd heard of a black materia from some instructors a while back, but everyone thought it just a myth. Could this really be the legendary magic that would give its owner all the power in the world... the one materia that even rivaled Holy?

"For what I payed, I'd hope so." Cloud laughed, wrapping his arms around Zack and resting his chin on his shoulder. "I hope it's not too shitty... I mean... I really didn't know what to get you..." Zack shook his head, his eyes still wide with amazement.

"Real or not... it's pretty fuckin' awesome... I think I'll have to try it out on the next exam date...." he said with a grin. Cloud knew he was talking about the next time he was forced to take a few rankless recruits out to see if they were worth keeping. He also knew that there was little to no chance that he would be included in this next group. His skills seemed to be notably below the rest of the group, and he often wondered why he was still there. Maybe Zack was using his rank to pull strings and keep him there... the thought depressed him, but he refused to let it get to him on this day, turning out to be perfect.

"I think the guys will be impressed if it is real." Cloud offered a smile along with the words.

"Well.... I know I am...." Zack responded, planting a kiss on Cloud's forehead, "...Merry Christmas, Cloud."

Cloud cuddled himself into Zack's chest, the warmth comforting. Zack reached over and wrapped a blanket around them as well, the bags of presents down at their feet. Zack hoisted himself up into a half-laying down position and Cloud shifted his weight almost automatically.

"Merry Christmas Zack."

((A/N: Wow... I'm really really REALLY ungood at this whole ending business, but at least I got it done in time . I think I'll put a real summary on now, too...

Anyways, thanks to the few of you who reviewed... it makes me think that maybe I can pull of a m/m coupling. nn; I guess I've created a monster within myself...))