Title: Naraku and Kikyo's Cute Chibi Christmas Theater
Author: Gabreilla Moushigo (aka Aeki Muffinhands)
Disclaimer: I do not own Inu-Yasha
Warnings: PG-13 - for cursing… and random stupidity.
Characters: No duh
Mood: Chibi Comedy
Summary: Naraku and Kikyo are rebuilding his house after she burned his home down. (Parody, One-shot, Spin-off of "I Carry Your Heart with Me" Chibi Theater)
Narrator: In be the beginning of this little play… no one was warm. Naraku's ultra cute chibi house has been destroyed by Kikyo's rage and now they must rebuild the home. Poor little chibi Naraku and Kikyo have no home for the winter… and no home for Christmas! Let us all go see what those two are doing!
(Naraku and Kikyo are placing the tiles on the roof of his new home)
Kikyo: (stopping suddenly) Why the hell am I helping you again?
Naraku: (screaming) Because you burned down my house!
Kikyo: What am I getting out of this?
Naraku: A great dental plan!
Kikyo: Oh yeah! (and begins working again a lot harder)
(Kagura suddenly appears)
Kagura: I never got dental!
Naraku: Wait a second! You're supposed to be dead!
Kagura: Oh yeah… crap (fades away to nothing)
Kikyo: That was odd…
Naraku: (just whistles like nothing happened)
(suddenly hears bells)
Kikyo: What is that I hear?
Naraku: Why! It's old Saint Nick!
(A huge sleigh parks itself on top of the roof. The leading reindeer tripped on the roofing and fell over, making all the other reindeer topple. Santa didn't seem to notice)
Santa: Ho ho ho! Merry Christmas!
Naraku: (glares at him) I think we only need one character with a stupid laugh in this fiction!
Santa: Ho ho ho! I see you've been a bad little boy this year!
Naraku: Does this mean I get new evil powers?!
Santa: Ho ho hell no little boy! Your not getting a damn thing! Not even a lump of coal!
Naraku: (in the corner suddenly) boo hoo!
Kikyo: What about me Santa?! Don't I get something nice?
Santa: (looks at her) Well… you did try to kill that nice little girl Kagome…
Kikyo: Awwwww… Saaanta! (big eyes)
Santa: Ho ho oh! I just can't resist! (gives her a big present) For you… the Shikon no Tama!
Kikyo: YAAAAY!
Naraku: (decides to take Kikyo's lead) Awwww… Saaanta! (big eyes)
Santa: Now that's just creepy!
Naraku: Darn it!
Santa: (looks thoughtful) I would have given you presents… just because I'm a nice guy…
(Naraku looks hopeful)
Santa: But this roof work is crap… only a truly evil and stupid person could make a roof look this bad without even trying… … and Rudolf broke his left hoof on these tiles! I'll see you in court! (jumps in his sleigh and leaves)
Kikyo: (puts the jewel around her neck) Wow… your getting sued by Santa for Christmas… you really must be a bastard.
Naraku: (falls to his knees and goes cross-eyed) Noooooooo! (goes into the corner of the burnt down house and cries)
Kikyo: (goes to him) Awwww… Onigumo-chan… what's tha' matter?
Naraku: (sniffling) I lost my house, and now I'm being sued! I don't have a home or anything else for Christmas! Bo ku!
Kikyo: (gives him a great big hug) Aww Oni… you don't have to worry about having a great big house for Christmas!
Naraku: I don't?
Kikyo: Naw… you can stay with me!
Naraku: Where is your house?
Kikyo: Er… in a tree?
Naraku begins to cry again.
Kikyo: Oni… don't you know that you should be thankful for what you have?
Naraku: (big chibi teardrops in his eyes) / (sullenly) And what do I have?!
Kikyo: Why… Oni you have me.
Naraku: I do?
Kikyo: Yup!
Naraku: This is the best Christmas ever! (hugs her back)
And then suddenly!
Naraku: (confused) What is Christmas anyway?
Kikyo: They hell if I know!
Naraku: Me either! But whatever it is – this is the best day ever.
Kikyo: (gives him a kiss)
Naraku: (blushes to the roots of his hair) Ku…. (faints)
Kikyo: Well kids! Until next time (giggles)
The End and Merry Christmas! May your holiday be bright!