It was a warm summer night. The sun had finally set a couple hours ago and the castle was starting to come alive. They were all gathering tonight in the Grand Audience chamber. [Throne room] Shira thought [complete with King and new consort.]
She had made her way earlier to one of the few seats near the doors leading to the gardens. She had wanted to stay in her room but Galen had convinced her, against her better judgment, to come tonight; he had said something about Cain ordering every one in the castle to be there or suffer unspoken punishment. So, here she was, forced to face the one she still loved and the one who had stolen his heart.
Shira raised her head just enough to let her pale gray eyes scan the room, looking for Galen. He was supposed to be bringing her messages from some of her family members who had been out hunting. [Gathering would be a better term. We bring humans in for those lazy vampires to feed off of but get nothing in return except scorn. Maybe Galen's right. I should ask Cain about moving the family out of the castle and to the manor.]
She glanced up at the dais through the veil of golden hair (that had somehow managed to fall over her shoulder) that usually set off her pixie face but now hid it instead, just in time to catch Cain kissing his new consort. [Rotten luck!] She quickly returned her gaze to the piece of parchment she was crumbling in her hands, smoothing it out once more. [Oooops! Parchment doesn't deserve to be treated like this anymore than I deserved to be treated the way he treated me. He could have told me privately before bringing that … that fledgling here and parading him in front of everyone.] Her thoughts now tinged with anger and humiliation. [I'd better calm down before Galen gets here.]
As she struggled to get control of her emotions, and thoughts, she heard footsteps approaching. Since she was the only one in this area, whoever it was had to be heading for her. Sliding her eyes in the direction of the approaching footsteps, she saw the one person she really did not want to talk to coming closer. She closed her eyes and prayed [Please, don't let it be me he's come to see. Let him pass me by and go out to the gardens.] Unfortunately her prayer went unheeded as he stopped next to her chair and gently tapped her on the shoulder.
"What can I do for you, Cain?" she questioned turning her head slightly, emotionless pale gray eyes looking up in response to the tap on her shoulder. "Where's your new mate? Shouldn't you be with him?"
"Over there" he said, indicating the dais he had recently left, "and his name is Shido. He's also what I want to talk to you about."
"So, ... talk" she replied curtly, as she looked back down at the piece of parchment once more.
"I'd like your full attention, Shira."
"You have it, Cain. Now talk, or I'll leave," as she made to get up and leave.
Gently pushing her back down into her chair, he said, "Shido is having problems. His memories are bothering him, getting in the way. He is unable to put his past aside."
"There are others among us that have had the same problem. It will take time, but he'll adjust, ... or he'll die," she replied in the calmest voice she could manage, and still be civil.
"I don't want him to die, but I can't help him."
"And you think I can? What makes you think I would want to?" she asked, her voice tinged with anger.
"I know you can. I know what your powers are, and how strong they are. If you take his memories, he will never remember," he replied, not quite begging, but close.
"Once again, what makes you think I would want to help him?" she asked with a sneer and more than a touch of sarcastic incredulity.
"I'm asking you to."
"So what do I get out of this, more heartache?" as she looked up at the dais where Shido was watching them. She smirked as she caught his look of jealousy, but quickly turned back to the conversation with Cain, before Shido could do more than register the nastiness of her smile.
"Whatever you want," he replied, trying to placate her and still get what he wanted.
"I doubt that. You can't give me what I really want. Someone else already has that."
"Ask for anything but my heart, and if I can, I'll give it to you. Just help Shido!" he begged.
"Alright!" she hissed angrily, looking directly at him for the first time that evening. "I'll block his memories. I won't take them. He needs to face them eventually, we all do. In return, I want to remove all my gatherers from the castle. I have a manor house outside of Tanis. We won't be that far, but we won't have to deal with the fools that reside here on a daily basis."
"You want to move you family out of the castle in return for only blocking Shido's memories?" he questioned incredulously, not quite believing what he had heard.
"Yes. I was going to ask to move them anyway, but since you're asking me to do something for you ... "
"Something for something. I'll consider it" and he walked away while she returned to studying the parchment she held.
[Useless. I can't concentrate tonight. Not after that conversation.] She rolled up the parchment and raised her head, turning her eyes to look out at the night sky, trying to let her mind go blank.
Before she was able to completely leave the room behind (in her mind anyway), another vampire approached her. This one had long black hair, topaz eyes and the same basic build as Cain. [Too bad he doesn't interest me in the same way. Guess that's what happens when you fight for control of the family] remembering the fight she'd had with Galen six months ago to gain control of the family. [I'm glad he didn't decide on a death match. Maybe he was tired of being the head of the family and wanted someone else to take over. I'm beginning to think he let me win. He knows what I am capable of. He's been training me from the time I became a vampire thirteen years ago.]
"Galen" she said in greeting, handing him the rolled parchment. "I'm sorry. I can't seem to concentrate tonight. These numbers aren't making any sense."
"I understand. I saw him talking to you," he replied quietly. "What did the Master want?"
"He wants me to block his mate's memories. Actually, he asked me to totally remove them, but I don't agree to that for anyone," she replied, once more barely in control of her emotions.
"Calmly," he rebuked her. Then waited for her nod before saying, "What did you tell him?"
"I'd block the memories if he agrees to us moving out. He said he'd think it over."
"Judging from the way the young one's acting, I don't think he'll have any choice. What should I tell the others?" Galen replied with a smile, since he had been pushing her to ask Cain about that very thing for the four weeks Cain had been back.
"Tell them to move what they can, within the next two days, without arousing suspicion. We should know by then what his decision will be," she answered almost absentmindedly. Then continued, with mischief shining in her eyes, "The twenty-plus of us should be able to do that by now or our training is severely lacking."
"Twenty-one, including you, Shira," he returned, wincing slightly at the impish grin she gave him. "I'll spread the word since we're all here tonight. Remember, Cain ordered that everyone had to come meet his new consort tonight."
She sighed, then said "Galen, would you explain your statement about Shido? I need to know what I may be facing."
"Alright," he replied. "What would you like to know, what I've seen, what I've heard or what I've been told?"
"All of it" she said with a half-smile.
"He didn't want to become a vampire. He fought with Cain about that the night Cain changed him, before Cain changed him. He seemed to have adjusted to the change until Cain took him back to his hometown to hunt. Shido came out of a blood lust with his little sister in his arms. He changed her the way Cain had changed him, without consent. When she woke, he was standing by her side. She asked him a question, no one could tell me what it was, but the answer he gave her caused her to run out into the sunshine. He broke down in tears just out of reach of the sun, he was unable to kill himself the way she did. Since then he has refused to hunt."
"So he had a bad experience. That shouldn't be too hard for Cain to overcome without someone taking Shido's memories. There has to be more, something deeper" she mused aloud. Then spoke softly to Galen, saying, "Is there anything else you can tell me?"
"Well," he hesitated, "I heard Cain and Shido screaming at each other one night not too long ago. I was checking the back passages of the castle near Cain's rooms and heard them. Shido accused Cain of having no regard for human life. Called him a monster too. I left before I heard anymore. I know I've called Cain a monster, and worse, in the past but to hear it from someone who supposedly loves him … "
"A bit much, Galen?" she queried with a sad smile. "Should I not have stopped that fight ten years ago?"
"No, you did right ten years ago. I trust you will do right now as well" he replied, echoing her smile. "Is there anything else?"
"No, Galen. Go talk to the others now" she sighed again and turned her eyes to the night sky once more.
He smiled at her before slipping away into the crowd, leaving her alone with her thoughts once more.
After a few minutes she looked up at the dais and saw Shido looking at her. When he saw that he had her attention, he crooked a finger in a come-hither motion, indicating that he wished to talk to her. She nodded, pasted a false smile on her face and started making her way through the crush of vampires.
She was stopped quite a few times by a hand touching her arm. When that happened, she'd smile at the person stopping her, remove the hand and politely say that she was needed elsewhere and could not stop to talk but would be willing to engage in conversation at a later time. She made her way slowly to where Cain was attempting to extricate himself from one of the more vocal [and lazy] vampires of his court.
Upon reaching Cain's side, she reached out and gently touched his arm, interrupting the conversation with a polite "Excuse me. I need to talk to Cain for a couple of minutes, then he'll be right back to you."
As the two of them stepped a couple of paces away Cain spoke quietly, for her ears only, "Thank you for the rescue Shira. What can I do for you?"
She startled him once more that night by replying "Your mate has requested my company for a time. I came to ask your permission."
"By all means, be my guest" he replied with a smile.
"Thank you" she replied, releasing his arm and turning to make her way to the dais. "You might want to watch what you say when you resume your interrupted conversation."
"What?" he queried in a bewildered voice just before the same vampire he'd been talking to before she had interrupted him accosted him again.
She continued on her way to the dais, gently fending off unwanted conversations. She was just about to ascend the steps when another one of her family members approached her.
"Leo" she said, acknowledging the auburn haired vampire, "what can I do for you? I assume you've already talked to Galen."
"Yes," he replied in his quiet voice, "and he asked me to inform you that he would be waiting to walk you back to the family's rooms when you're ready to leave here tonight."
"Thank you, Leo. I know how much being in this crowd bothers you. Please, tell Galen thank you, and then leave before it gets too much for you to handle" she replied just as softly, with an understanding smile for him, wishing she could leave the crowded room for the same reason.
She ascended the steps and sat on the top step in front of Shido, looking out at the crowd, without saying a word. She'd let him start the conversation since he had requested her to come over.
"Are you the one Cain wants to have remove my memories?" he asked, keeping his voice low and even.
[Blunt and to the point] she thought. [At least his brain is still functioning.] But instead of answering, she asked, while still looking out at the crowd below, "Do you want to lose your memories?"
"Not really, but Cain said it would be best if I did. You didn't answer my question" came the slightly offended reply.
[I hope I wasn't like this.] "What difference does it make who does it? The memories will be gone. Personally, I think you ought to face them, and I said as much to Cain when he asked me. He didn't agree with me," she retorted, almost angrily.
"I understand what you're saying, and I would tend to agree. In fact, I do agree, but you still haven't answered the question," he replied, starting to get angry at her refusal to answer his question.
"I can't answer because I don't know. I won't do it without something in exchange. Cain is considering my request while trying to find someone else he could trust to do what he asks, without leaving something behind."
"Oh. What do you mean by 'someone else he could trust'?" he queried curiously.
"There aren't too many here that could be trusted not to tamper with your mind while removing your memories," she replied, still not looking at him. [Even Galen, although Cain would never ask his brother to do something like that after the fight they had ten years ago.] "As far as I've been able to determine, of those that can do what Cain wants, only one is able to put personal feelings aside to perform his request. He's finding this out now."
"You're that one, aren't you? So, what you're saying is that all the others capable of erasing my memories are likely to damage my mind, in some fashion, while doing it?" He looked slightly ill at the thought, and couldn't quite suppress his shudder, or sound of protest, at the thought.
Turning to look him in the eye, she answered, "That is exactly what I'm saying. There are too many here who would love to be able to get back at him through you for some slight from years ago. I must admit, I am tempted, too. But, if I am the one he chooses, I will not erase you memories. I will only block them, but I won't leave any nasty surprises behind either." She gave him a slight smile and continued, "When the time is right, I will remove the block, and you will face your memories. There is no other way."
"Why? What do you mean?" curiosity getting the better of him, now that he'd received some reassurance about what would, and would not, happen.
"We all have pasts, some good, some not so good. If we cannot accept our past, we cannot accept our self or our future" and she turned back to look at the crowd once more. "Is that all you wanted?"
"Not quite," he replied, starting to reach out to touch her but stopping before he had gone very far. "My name is Shido. I'd like you to use it when talking to me."
"When it is necessary, Shido, I will" she sneered. "Are we through? I'm starting to get some odd looks from Cain."
"One more thing and you can go," he replied, ignoring her tone. "What is your name?"
"My name is Shira, but if I'm the one that deals with your memories you won't remember it or me" she replied, once more in control of her emotions. She stood up, glanced his way, bowed her head and descended the steps.
As she stepped from the last one, Galen returned to her side and whispered, "All have been told. Leo has returned to the family rooms. Are you ready to leave?"
"Yes," she answered calmly, placing her hand lightly on his proffered arm. "Let us go bid Cain a good evening and leave. I've had my fill for the night."