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Title: The Only Thing Wrong
Author: Topsy
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Another version of the separation between Elliot and Kathy.
Disclaimer: None of the characters are mine and that's mostly okay. I would rather BE Olivia than own her.

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December 22, 2004

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"How'd it go this morning?" Olivia asked as the two of them got into the car to head to lunch. He sighed and sat back.

"Kathleen was all concerned," he said and smiled slightly. "I love those kids, Liv," he murmured. She nodded.

"I know."

"Anyway, I got in the shower and when I got out, Kathy tried to talk about it, but I told her I was late. She wants to talk to me about this privately, but the kids are always around and I don't necessarily want to go anywhere with her alone right now," he muttered. Then he shrugged. "But I guess we do have to talk about it sometime. She said she'd arrange for Maureen to pick up the kids tonight to get them out of the house so we could sit down and discuss this." He sighed. "God, I just… I can't believe her."

"What happened, Elliot?" Olivia asked and glanced at him quickly as she drove along.

"Hell if I know," he said. "I had no clue."

"How'd you figure it out?"

"You think it would be something smart, right?" he asked. She didn't answer. "Cragen sent me home early. The kids were still at school. And they were upstairs in our bed. Our bed, Olivia." He sighed and stared out the window.

"Oh God, El," she murmured.

"I talked to Kathleen and Maureen and asked them if they had noticed anything weird lately. Kathleen said that she's been noticing these secret phone calls for the past couple months and that Kathy would be all happy after the phone calls."

"Jesus, El, months?" Olivia asked. He nodded.

"That's the thing, Liv. If it had just happened once, maybe I could… Maybe we could work this out. Go to counseling or something. But this is a full blown relationship she was having off to the side." He paused. "God, I feel like such an idiot! You'd think I would have noticed. I'm a detective for God sake. They were sleeping in our bed! You'd think I would have smelled something… or even just felt something. I had no clue, Olivia." He leaned his head back against the seat wearily. "And I don't think I can fix this. I don't want to fix this, not if this has been going on for months. There's a big difference between a one-night stand and a boyfriend in this situation. A one-night stand would have been bad enough to deal with." He rubbed his hand over his eye as Olivia pulled into a parking spot. She shut the engine off and turned to look at him.

"What are you going to do?" she asked quietly. He shrugged.

"I don't know. I guess I'll go over tonight and talk to her," he replied. She nodded and began to get out of the car. He followed suit.

"Anytime you need to, I've got a permanent place for you on my couch," she said. He smiled at her over the car.

"Thanks, Liv, I'll remember that. Tonight I should probably stay at home, even if that means I'm sleeping on the couch." He sighed. "Thank you. For everything." She smiled.

"Anytime."

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Elliot walked into the quiet house around 8pm. He felt so nauseous. He wasn't ready to have this conversation yet, because he knew what was going to be said. There was no way they could be together anymore and even though he had known that since he had walked into the bedroom yesterday, he didn't want to actually come out and say it. He didn't want to make it final. It was the end of a life and the beginning of another and he wasn't sure he was ready for that new life.

After all, they had been married since they were still pretty much kids. Maureen was the best accident of his life so he would never regret it. But twenty years was a long time to be with someone, only to find out you weren't actually meant for each other. Twenty years was a lot to get over. He didn't know how to be alone.

"Kathy?" he called out as he tossed his keys on the stand beside the couch.

"In here," she replied from the kitchen. He shrugged out of his coat and held it for a moment as if it was a lifeline. Then he tossed it over the back of the couch and walked into the kitchen to find her.

She was pouring them each a glass of water and Elliot nearly felt his heart warm when he saw that her hand was shaking slightly. He sighed and rubbed his hand over his eyes. So this is it, he thought and took a seat at the kitchen table. She turned around and placed the glasses on the table before putting the pitcher back into the refrigerator. She took a seat across from him and they sat in uncomfortable silence for a few seconds. Elliot refused to speak first.

"El, I'm sorry," she said softly. He watched her face, but she was looking at her fingers as she nervously played with her glass of whatever.

"How long have you been… seeing him?" Elliot said, choosing the words carefully. He didn't want to start a fight this early into it. Kathy sighed and looked up at Elliot.

"I never meant for it to happen. I wasn't planning on… on him," she said.

"How long, Kathy?" She frowned a little and looked away.

"Two and a half months or so," she murmured. Elliot closed his eyes and let out a whoosh of breath.

"Kathleen was right," he said quietly. Kathy's head snapped up.

"What?"

"Kathleen noticed your secret phone calls," Elliot said and looked up. A blush crept over Kathy's face and she took a gulp of her water to steady herself. "If you weren't planning on it, how did it happen?" Kathy shrugged.

"He's a banker," she said softly. "I saw him at the bank every time I took my paycheck in and one day we got to talking." She looked up at Elliot. "After a few more chats over deposit slips he asked me out," she said simply.

"And you said yes?" Elliot asked and raised his eyebrows. "Even though you were married?" Kathy sighed and looked away.

"Yes, I did." She lifted her shoulders. "The night before that you hadn't come home until two in the morning and I was still pissed at you for not calling."

"So it's all my fault now?" he asked angrily. She shook her head.

"No. But I was upset and so I said yes. I felt so horrible about it that I actually called him and told him I couldn't go. He asked me why and I told him because I was married." She paused. "That's when he asked me if I was happy." Elliot and Kathy stared at each other as she paused once again. "I said… no," she said. Elliot's eyes closed and he felt the fight seeping out of him. He was exhausted. "He convinced me to go out with him, just to talk." Elliot snorted softly and opened his eyes.

"So I did, for lunch one day during our breaks. And it was nice," she said and tried not to smile at the memory. "He was a gentlemen and he said he understood my situation because he had gotten divorced two years ago. He wasn't pressuring me into anything, he just wanted to be friends." Kathy paused. "Elliot," she said and met his gaze. "He made me feel important. He listened to me when I talked to him and I listened when he talked to me. He talked to me, Elliot, in a way that you didn't anymore."

"Kathy," he said, but she held up a hand and cut him off.

"No, listen to me for once," she said. Elliot's mouth closed and she continued on. "I wasn't looking for my relationship with him to go any further than friendship. We went to lunch together every day that our schedules would allow it and we talked and laughed. Two weeks after the first lunch, he kissed me." She shrugged.

"I didn't know he was going to do it. I wasn't planning it. It was just… the moment," she paused. "But I kissed him back and it felt right." She ran her hands through her hair. "I went home and cried for thirty minutes because I felt so guilty. I felt guilty because it had happened, because I was sneaking around, but most of all because I liked it."

"So why didn't you just tell me? Why did you have to sneak around behind my back?" Elliot asked as he stared at her. She shrugged.

"I was too… scared to tell you," she said. "I… I don't know."

"Kathy, I know that I was a shitty husband because of my job. The hours suck. They're random and make me stay out late. The job itself is rough and I hated bringing that here, back to our home. I didn't want to tell you or the kids about it, because I didn't want to bring it here. But I was never unfaithful to you," he said and stared at her.

"Honestly?" she asked, copping an attitude. His mouth dropped open and his eyes hardened.

"Not once."

"Hmm," she murmured.

"What?" he asked, nearly growling the question out.

"Are you sure you never strayed… with Olivia?" she asked. His mouth dropped open again.

"Are you serious?" he asked. She lifted her chin defiantly. He smacked his hands down on the tabletop and pushed himself up away from the table.

"Well?" she asked. He whirled around and looked down at her, anger swirling in his liquid blue eyes.

"Not once," he murmured angrily. "Not once did I ever touch Olivia in an inappropriate manner. I never cheated on you with her in any way, or with anyone else for that matter. So do not try to throw this back in my face. I may have been to blame for not being around, for not communicating, but I wasn't the one that pushed you into our bed with that bastard, so please… spare me!" he exclaimed and turned around quickly and walked away. He couldn't be in there right now. He grabbed his coat and pushed through the front door. He dropped down onto the front steps and sighed loudly. He dropped his head into his hands and rubbed his fingers over his face roughly.

A few minutes later he heard the door opening behind him.

"We have to finish talking about this while the kids are out," she said softly, smartly. He sighed and scooted over.

"Fine," he muttered. She dropped down beside him and wrapped her arms around herself tightly.

"Elliot, I really am sorry," she said. "I never meant for it to happen. I just…"

"Do you love him?" he asked her quietly. She sighed and he looked over at her. She nodded slightly and smiled sadly.

"Yes, yes I do," she murmured. Elliot nodded and looked down at the ground.

"Well then," he paused, "What are we going to do?" he asked quietly. She reached for his hand and he let her hold it. They looked at each other and both of them smiled sadly because they knew what they had to do. "I wonder when all of this happened," he said quietly. She shrugged.

"I don't think we can pinpoint it to an exact time," she murmured. He nodded.

"We just grew apart," he said softly.

"I wonder if it started with Maureen," she asked quietly. He glanced over at her. She lifted her shoulders. "I loved you with all my heart and soul back then, but we were just kids. Even though she was an accident, we did what we wanted to do at the time." Kathy paused. "Sometimes I wonder, though, if it was too soon." Elliot nodded. "I wonder if we had waited another year and she hadn't come along if we still would have been in love and gotten married."

"At the time we thought we wanted to be married, but we were so young and we had no clue," Elliot said. Kathy squeezed his hand. He looked over at her.

"I do love you, Elliot," she murmured as tears filled her eyes. "I always have and I always will." He smiled sadly and nodded. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and she leaned against him.

"I love you, too, Kathy."

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"Guys, sit down," Elliot said quietly to all four of his kids. They all sat down obediently on the couch beside each other, crammed in. They knew something was up. Elliot and Kathy sat on the coffee table in front of them.

Maureen and Kathleen already knew what was about to be said and they gripped each other's hands tightly. Elliot saw and he sighed.

"What?" Dickie asked, staring at his parents.

"We need to tell you guys something," Kathy said quietly. They all stared at their parents and Kathleen held her breath.

"Your mom and I have decided… we're going to get a divorce," Elliot said. Dickie's eyes bugged out of his head and Lizzie's mouth dropped open.

"What?" she asked, shocked. "Why?" Elliot sighed. Maureen wrapped her arm around Kathleen's waist as tears began to slide down their cheeks. They leaned their heads together and just listened. Elliot let Kathy field this question, because technically it had all started with her.

"I…" Kathy paused and sighed. She rubbed her fingers over her eyes and then looked at Lizzie and Dickie. "I have a boyfriend," she said simply.

"What?" Dickie asked and stared. Kathy sighed.

"Don't you love Daddy?" Lizzie asked, her chin quivering. Kathy sighed and reached her hand out to her youngest daughter. She touched her knee softly.

"Yes, I do, but not the way I should."

"Why not?" Dickie asked. Kathy shrugged and Elliot patted her knee for comfort, despite the situation.

"I love him for giving me you guys. I love him for the past twenty years of life we've shared together, but it's not the same… anymore," Kathy said.

"It's hard to explain," Elliot said when Kathy stopped. "But your mother and I… We're still friends. We're going to split your guys' time up between us, so you'll still see us all the time. You'll probably live with your mom most of the time because of your schooling and my job, but you can come and see me whenever you want and I'll come see you as much as I can."

"Why?" Lizzie moaned through her tears and Elliot sighed. He reached for her and she slid into his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I like the way we are," she said. Elliot nuzzled her hair and stroked her back.

"I know you do, baby, but things can't always be the same forever. Sometimes things just don't work out." Maureen stood abruptly and left the room. Elliot watched her go and then turned to Kathy. She nodded quickly and then stood, following Maureen into the kitchen.

"You okay?" Elliot asked Kathleen and Dickie. Dickie scooted over to his sister and she wrapped her arm around him as he snuggled in.

"Yeah," Kathleen whispered and wiped at her wet face. Elliot sighed and moved over to the couch beside Dickie, still holding Lizzie in his lap. "I'm sorry, Daddy," Kathleen whispered.

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong," he said. "Any of you, okay?" he asked and Dickie and Lizzie nodded.

"For her, I mean," Kathleen said. "I should have noticed and told you or something. I should have stopped her." Elliot smiled and wrapped his arm around Kathleen and Dickie. They snuggled in.

"There's nothing you could have done, Kathleen."

"I know, but I'm sorry she did this, Daddy." He sighed and ran his hand over her hair.

"Baby, it wasn't all her. It was both of us. Don't blame this on your mother, okay?" he asked. She sighed and nodded, wiping her nose with her hand as she sniffled.

"I can't believe you did this!" Maureen exclaimed, bursting out of the kitchen with Kathy close on her heels.

"Maureen!" Kathy shouted as Maureen flung the front door open and stalked out, slamming it closed behind her.

"Kathy," Elliot said from his spot on the couch. She stopped and turned to him.

"Let me go talk to her," he said. Kathy sighed and nodded, walking back to the couch. Elliot could see the tears floating in her eyes and he passed Lizzie off to her before heading outside to follow his daughter. She was standing in the front yard with her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

"Maureen," Elliot called softly. She didn't turn around. He came up behind her and rubbed his hands over her arms. "It's freezing out here," he murmured. She turned around quickly and wrapped her arms around his waist tightly.

"Oh Daddy," she muttered into his chest. He hugged her and stroked his hand over her hair and down her back.

"It's okay, baby girl." She shuddered.

"I understand, ya know?" she asked and pulled back to look up at him with tear-stained cheeks. "I know these things happen. I even understand that you and Mom fell out of love with each other." She sighed. "It happens. I don't have to like that, but it happens." She paused. "But the part that I hate, that I can't accept, is the fact that she cheated on you."

"Maureen," Elliot brushed a finger over her cheek. "These things happen. She didn't plan on it, it just happened."

"She could have stopped it. Dad, can I be honest?" she asked. He nodded, watching her. "I don't know why, but… I never expected her to cheat on you." Maureen paused. "I always thought that… if… if one of you cheated on each other that you would be the one to do it," she said. Elliot looked at her in surprise.

"Why?" Maureen sighed.

"Your job, I guess."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Look… I don't know the details of the things you see every day, Daddy, but I know… I know the general idea and I know what those things do to you some days. Some nights you'd come home and look so… so sad. Haunted," she murmured and let out a sniffle. "And I always just thought that… if it were to happen it would be because you had to turn to somebody." She paused. "Like Olivia." Elliot groaned and pulled away.

"What is it with you and your mother and thinking about me and Olivia?" He ran a hand over his shortly cropped hair.

"Listen, Daddy," she said and he looked at her. "I love Olivia. She's been like an aunt to me ever since you were partners. And look at her." Maureen paused. "She's gorgeous. She's single. And she sees the same things that you do every day. You can't talk to Mom or us about work, but she's there and you can share that part of your life with her. And that's a big part of who you are."

"I never cheated on your mother with anyone, much less Olivia," Elliot said, frustrated. Maureen smiled.

"I know, Daddy, but it wouldn't have surprised me. But I still would've been this pissed at you if it had been you instead of Mom," she said. He cupped her shoulders in his hands.

"Maureen, you can't be mad at her about this forever." Maureen sighed.

"I know, but… Can't I be for just a little while?" she asked and looked at him. "Aren't you?" Elliot nodded a bit.

"Yeah, yeah I am. It hurt me, Maureen, but… I accept my share of the blame and I wish things could have been different. I wish she had told me before she started something with him. I wish that we could have just fallen out of love and that there didn't have to be a third party involved. I wish I had figured it out differently than I did, but I can't go back and change things," he said quietly. "It happened how it happened and there's nothing to do now but move on. Get on with life. The future." He shrugged. "Who knows, maybe this will make all of us happier." Maureen smiled sadly.

"Nice try, Daddy, but… I don't think that any of us kids are going to accept the new man any time soon," she muttered. "Maybe if she had started dating him after this happened, but since he's the one that helped break our family apart, it's not going to be easy for us to accept." Elliot hugged his daughter to his chest and felt his heart swell with love for her. He had to adore her for being so loyal to him.

"I should be the big man and tell you to just accept it, but," Elliot paused, "Give him a hard time for me, too, would ya?" Maureen laughed and he pulled back and smiled at her. He kissed her forehead.

"I love you, Maureen." She grinned.

"I love you, too, Daddy."

"Let's go back inside. Try not to be too hard on your mother. This is rough for her, too." Maureen sighed and nodded and walked with Elliot back towards the house.

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