Unwanted Stares

Disclaimer: I still don't own anything.

Author's note: Thanks to everyone who read and reviewed Simple Musings. This is Paige's perspective of the same events.

He keeps staring at me. I don't know why. This is not even the first time he's been doing it. Just hanging out, whenever he thinks someone won't notice, he stares at me. It's- it's weird. I guess it should bother me. My best friend's boyfriend is staring at me constantly. But I- I kind of like it.

God, I'm sitting here talking to Ashley, listening to her go on and on about her and Craig. It's enough to drive me crazy. But at least it's giving me an excuse to think about things. Like Jimmy. I have no idea why he keeps staring at me. It's like all of the time. In class, hanging out, everywhere. I can't believe no one has commented on it. Of course, most of our friends tend to be so in to themselves that they would have to be hit over the head with it to notice anyone else.

I could never tell anyone, but I really think he's kind of cute. Gorgeous, really. He's got really dark eyes that I just love. He's all grown up now. And he treats Hazel well. I know she likes him a lot. And he's staring at me, and I'm having thoughts about him. I suck as a friend. Hazel's never done anything to me and I'm lusting after her boyfriend. He's an ass, too. I mean, why's he looking at me constantly? What's that about?

I don't know why either of us are doing what we're doing. It's not like we're even good friends. We're connected by Ashley, then by Spinner, and now by Hazel. So, we don't have some bond that should cause me to feel like I do most of the time. There's the tingling feeling in my stomach when he looks at me, which is all the time. Like now.

I meet his eyes from across the room and he glances away quickly. I can tell he's embarrassed. What the hell is wrong with us? We totally just had some sort of moment. Like, there were sparks between us. There's not supposed to be sparks. There's supposed to be bland, sexless thoughts. Please, there should be no thoughts at all. But there are. Every time he looks at me, I want to look back. I want to see his eyes on mine. God, this is stupid. I sound like an idiot.

Ashley shakes me out of my thoughts, "Hey, are you okay, Paige? You seem off in space."

"Uh, yeah. Sure. I'm fine." I try as hard as I can to avoid looking at Jimmy.

"Really?"

"Uh-huh. You know, I think Craig is desperate to talk to you." I point a few feet away, where Craig is grinning like an idiot.

Ashley grins back at him. "Guess I better go talk to him. If you're sure you don't want to talk?"

"No offense, but I've heard enough stories about you and Craig to last a long time."

Ashley laughs. "Okay, okay. I'll see you around."

I roll my eyes as she walks away and turn my head. God, he's staring at me again! Once again, he glances away. He needs to stop this. It's all so complicated. Nothing good is going to come of this. Why can't he stop staring? And why do I have to think about him? Why do I have these feelings? Man, I have to get out of here.

I walk into the kitchen, leaning against the countering, breathing heavily. This sucks. Like my life isn't screwed up enough. And technically, I have a boyfriend, even if he is a student teacher and five years older than me. What the hell is wrong with me? Why is he affecting me like this?

"Hey, Paige." I turn around, seeing Jimmy in front of me and smile.

"Hi. You having fun?"

"Oh, yeah. Great." He gives me a weak smile and I roll my eyes.

"You'll have to do better than that, Jimmy."

"What?"

"Please, hon. You're not having a good time. It's obvious."

"You think Hazel's noticed?"

"No, she's just so happy you're home."

"Good, I wouldn't want to hurt her." Well, why have you been staring at me, buddy?

"I'm sure." I bite my lip and ask the question that I've been wondering about for a while. "So, I noticed that you were kind of staring at me earlier."

He looks like a deer in headlights. "God, I'm sorry. I wasn't making you uncomfortable, was I?"

"No, no." I ran my fingers through my hair, trying to avoid making this more awkward than it already is. "Not at all. I just- I mean-"

"Why was I staring at you?"

"Yeah."

He sighs and looks down at the ground. "It's nothing. No big deal. I just- You looked really pretty tonight." Wow, I can't believe he just said that.

"Oh. Thanks." I want to say something about all the other times to he's stared at me, but I decide to not mention it.

"Yeah, well. You know you're gorgeous." He rolls away and doesn't notice the color on my face.

"Here, I'll get it." He's trying to get a soda, but can't reach it. I walk over to him and get one, but he pushes away from me.

"Damn it, I just want to be able to do things for myself!"

I sigh, feeling like crap. "I'm sorry."

"No, it's fault. I-"

"You don't want everyone doing things for you. It makes sense."

"Still, you were just trying to help."

I walk around and look right at him. "How 'bout we make a deal? I won't help you anymore unless you ask me too."

He smiles. "Sounds good to me."

"Well, I'm brilliant." I grin back at him.

"Yeah, you are. You're amazing."

Oh, God. If I want to stop having thoughts about him, he needs to stop saying things like that me. I can feel myself blushing furiously. "Thanks."

"Too good for Spinner."

"Yeah, well, you're too good for him, too. I mean, as a friend." I nod in agreement.

"We both got bit in the ass by Spinner. But let's not talk about him. It's Christmas time. A time for happiness and all that crap."

I giggle and shake my head. "You're on. Now, let's get back out there and party on."

"You got it." He motions for me to go in front of him. "You go first."

"Okay." He rolls next me. I can feel him staring at me, but say nothing. Just enjoy the feeling of his gaze on me.

I point upward and grin. "Well, well. Look at this. Mistletoe."

"You don't actually want to-" He looks nervous, like I'm going to suck his face off.

"Hey, it's tradition. Can't break it. We'll have bad luck."

I lean down to kiss him. I know I should just peck him on the cheek, but I can't help it. I kiss him right on the lips. I'm about to pull myself away when he cups my chin and rubs my cheek. God, his lips practically linger on mine. Finally, I pull away and try to act like the kiss didn't affect me, even though I can tell that it seemed to affect Jimmy.

"Wow, Hazel's a pretty lucky girl. I'll talk to you later, hon." I wink at him, and then walk away. I get to the next room and slump against the wall. Damn it! I just kissed Jimmy Brooks. I'm in such deep trouble. Mistletoe kiss or not, this is trouble. I'm never going to be able to stop thinking about him now.