Be of Good Cheer
Author: Blackcatgrl
Rating: PG
Summary: Nny's response to those stupid carolers.
Warnings: Well, there's no blood. But there is a bit of torture. If that bothers you, I don't know why you're reading JTHM in the first place, but whatever.
Disclaimer: I own nothing relating to JTHM. If I did, there'd be a lot more torture.
Be of Good Cheer
Joy to the world, the carolers sang on my doormat. Stupid of them, really, to cluster right above my trapdoor. However, they had not harmed me yet, so I would leave them alone. Then they switched songs. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, from heaven's all gracious King Something inside me snapped, and I opened the door. I stuck my head out and checked the street in both directions, then hit the trapdoor lever. By the time they had finished the winding fall to the lowest level of the basement, I was standing there waiting for them, my scariest grin stretched across my face.
I was actually having a relatively pleasant holiday before you cretins came along. Now, for plunging me back into my abyss of despair, I'm afraid I must make you suffer just a bit.
Bu-but all we were doing was bringing the good news of God through song! What's wrong with that?
I dropped the grin. God doesn't care, you ignorant little thorns! I snarled. I've seen him! He's fat and he's lazy and he hasn't interfered since he created the universe! The carolers sputtered and I decided I had had enough of them. I scurried around, setting up the playpen, ignoring the cries from the cages.
After a while I had a lovely tableau. Numerous Christ figures stood scattered about the room. Each of them was on a cross made of Christmas tree, with a frowny face carved into each chest. I had punctured their wrists and ankles and strung Christmas lights through the holes, attaching them to the crosses. I smiled and went upstairs.