Title: Alucard's Acquaintance
Chap. 3: Pip, The Vampire/Freak Slayer
Author: Kreuz Swords
Disclaimer: I'm a baaad author from watching the anime and people telling me about the manga The plot now includes Pip and I don't own the song, Shine D Warning, there are some slang used that might be offensive to some people. Ignore this slang. Don't sue me. I have no money and all you get is some hugs and kisses.
Alucard: Oo
KS: I am referring to my chocolate stash, dingbat ee
This fic is dedicated to two friends of mine for their love of Hellsing. Cheers!
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A worn out Seras dragged herself down the steps going to the dark, catacomb-like sub chambers. "I am so glad that it is end of the day. Commander Farguson sure knows how to plan out tough training for us. I feel like I ran off my legs today," complained Seras. "Oh man, I need a good shower to get rid of all the dust and grit I had rolled around in. I wish I could kill that stupid Pip for shooting me with paint balls. The dye better come off my clothes in the wash, or I will paint everything that Pip owns all red." Seras staggered into her room and saw that her new flatmate, Lewis was still wrapped up in his covers. "I guess being a full vampire does have a few advantages," and she sighed.
She put away her weapons and training gear. Seras began to take out a clean set of clothing to change into after her shower. She heard the rustle of sheets behind her. Seras turned around with clothes in her arms and watched a yawning Lewis with rumpled clothing get up. She thought it was amusing the way Louis groggily stood up and scratched the side of his head.
"Bonjour (Good morning) Seras!" said Lewis cheerfully when he noticed her in the room.
"Good morning to you also Lewis," responded Seras happily.
Louis spotted her folded clothing in Seras' arms. "Guests get first turn in the shower!" he shouted and sprung out into the hallway.
Seras was confused for a second at his outburst, but she dashed after Lewis through the hallway. "No way, there is no such rule for guests here. I just worked out hard in the weather that decided to get warm and muggy today. And, no pretty boy, who slept all day, is not going to steal my spot in the shower first!" yelled Seras after Lewis as they raced up the flights of stairs.
They ran through first floor into the servant's section. Lewis proved to be faster than Seras and made to the bathroom first. He shut and locked the door before she could force the door open. Seras pounded on the door with her free hand.
"Lewis open up the door this instant!" roared Seras. "Do you hear me in there!" her answer was the sound of running water. "You have no right to do this to me!" and she pounded some more on the door. Then she heard Lewis began to sing "Shine" by Mr. Big.
Lewis sang out loudly,(1)
"I never really feel quite right
I don't know why, all I know is there's something wrong
Every time I look at you, you seem so alive"
"Lewis, you are in the wrong!" and Seras banged on the bathroom door harder.
"Tell me how do you do it, walk me through it
I'm following every footstep
Baby on your own you take a cautious step
Do you wanna give it up?"
"Lewis, I want you to give up the shower!!"
"But all I want is for you to SHINE
Shine down on me
Shine on this life that's burning out"
"You will pay dearly for this by burning you out!" growled Seras and gave the door a kick. Lewis continued to sing his heart out.
"Are you two in a fight already? You know, you could have ask him to share the shower together, and I am sure he will agree to it," said Alucard suddenly behind Seras.
"Eeek!" screamed Seras and swatted her master in the face with her clean clothes. When she realized it was Alucard, she put her fists on her hips, "Master! Don't sneak up on people like that! I nearly jumped out of my skin," said Seras angrily as Alucard chuckled at her reaction. She ignored him and began to pick up her scattered clothing off the floor. "I swear that we need to put a collar with a bell on you," mumbled Seras.
"Excuse me, is this yours?" asked Alucard oddly.
Seras stood up from the floor and saw in shock horror that her master was holding out to her a pink satin panties. Alucard had on a puzzled look as to what the article clothing was. She began to blush into a deep red and then turned to anger. "You PERVERT!!" Seras repetitively whacked her master with her clothing.
Alucard pushed her away. "What did I do wrong police girl? I was just trying to help you!"
"You touched my panties, you PERV!!"
"Huh?"
"Men don't touch a girl's underwear!"
"You mean that pink thing was your…" Said Alucard with a raised eyebrow. "So, women of this age wear those little things as undergarments?"
"You're really a sick pervert, master," fumed Seras."
"Women do not wear layers of underskirts and bloomers anymore, humm," mused the No Life King. Alucard then slyly grinned from ear to ear. "I wonder if ma…
"What was this about a pervert out here?" interrupted Lewis with wet tangled hair.
"Finally! I can take my shower now!" jubilated Seras as she picked up the last pieces of her clothing and pushed pass Lewis into the bathroom.
"It was just about a strange notion that Seras has for her master," said Alucard and he laughed as he walked away.
"You are a strange notion indeed, mon ami (my friend)." replied Lewis as tilted his head. He took the towel he was holding and dried his black locks some more. Lewis shook his head as he walked away to find and ask Walter if he could go off to bring some belongings back with him.
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"It feels soo good to be clean once again," said Seras and sighed contently. She was walking back to her room carrying her dirty clothes in a towel. When Seras turned the corner, she saw Lewis standing with his back to her and peeking around the doorframe into their room suspiciously. "What's the matter Lewis? Don't tell my master is rifling through my panty drawer!" Seras hurried to Lewis' side and was glad that she saw no one in the room.
"Is that our food in the ice bucket?" whined Lewis.
Seras went passed him and tossed her dirty clothing in the hamper. She turned to look at the medical blood in a bucket on the table. "Yes, it is." and sighed unhappily.
Lewis grimaced, "How revolting! Ice cold processed blood. At least, animal blood has some warmth to it. This stuff makes me sick just by looking at it," and Lewis shivered. "I think, I will pass on tonight's food."
"I don't like it either," said Seras.
"Lewis, I hope you will not be a bad influence on my Seras with your bad habits of starving yourself and dribble about miserable humanity being all that you have." spoke out Alucard as slipped into the room. He sat down on a simple wooden chair and crossed his legs. His eyes where hidden by his red-orange tinted sunglasses and had on a menacing grin on his mouth.
Lewis looked away from Alucard. "No, I will not advise her wrongly to my habits. I know my place not to stand between a master and fledgling. Well, I better go off and pick up my belongings."
"You are going out?" said Seras.
"It is okay Seras. I asked Walter, and he gave his permission for me to leave the estate."
"And, you have belongings," said Seras in disbelief.
"Why yes I do. How did you think I came to England? Do you think I could turn into bats or ride a hellhound here with only one set of clothes," said Lewis and laughed as Sears nodded that she thought he had done just that. "Oh wait, that is Al's little dark trick is it not." He laughed even deeper. "Sorry Seras, but my dark tricks are very limited and you will learn how to do more tricks than I could ever of dream of. You are very fortunate. I need to get going now. I will come back in awhile." Lewis nodded to Alucard and left out the door.
Alucard quietly waited for awhile until he was sure that Lewis was off the estate while Seras sat on her bed-coffin watching her master. She had the feeling that he was going to lecture her about something.
"Seras," said Alucard with a stern look. "I command you never to follow any of Lewis' habits. I do accept him because he poses no threat to me or to Hellsing. If he did not have powerful associates to protect him from time to time, he would have perished a long time ago. Did I make my demand clear to you?" Alucard turned his head to face Seras. His red-orange sunglasses reflected Seras' sad face as his wine red eyes were visible over the top rims.
"Yes master, I understand."
"What I will teach you will make you stronger, and correct behavior to become a true vampire," added Alucard.
"As you wish master."
The No Life King smiled displaying his sharp teeth and said, "Cheer up police girl. You are not in any trouble to have such a glum expression on." Alucard got up from the wooden chair. "Come, let's go see what Sir Hellsing has planed for us tonight." he waited for Seras to follow him out the door into the cold hallway.
They slowly went up the stairs to the first floor. The two were about to climb up the main stairs when Walter came out from a door and walked over to them.
"How are you this evening, Lord Alucard?" greeted the old Hellsing retainer.
"I guess fine Walter with the police girl liking to be rough with her master," replied Alucard and grinned wolfishly.
"I do not master! Walter, don't believe a word this pervert said," and she glared at her master.
Walter had on a confused expression. "Very well lady Seras." Then he tilted his head signaling that he was listing to what was being said in his ear radio. "Lewis has permission to come to the mansion." Walter returned his gaze back to his coworkers. "Well, it seems our guest, Lewis has a car. I will go direct him as to where he should park, " and he went down the steps.
"Cool! I wonder if he can give me a ride into town, so I don't have to take that scary bus on my days off. Or, we could go clubbing!" and Seras giggled. She went after Walter to see Lewis' car as Alucard trailed behind them to cure his own curiosity.
They stepped out of the front door and heard the purr of a car's engine coming nearer. Then a dark green BMW convertible drove up into the main driveway and stopped in front of three.(2) Lewis slipped out and over the driver's side. He leaned against his car and winked an emerald eye at his audience. He had changed his clothing as he was wearing a dark blue, loose cotton shirt.
"Ooo, fancy! Someone pinch me, so I know this is not a dream I am having!" exclaimed Seras as she put her hands to the sides of her face in joy.
Alucard looked at Seras with a raised eyebrow and said, "It is just a car. It cannot go as fast as I can."
"Lewis, I could kiss you for delivering me from public buses!" squealed Seras as her master rolled his eyes and Lewis smiled
"The parking garage is behind the barracks and there should be a space in the back. The front is devoted to the tanks and jeeps," said Walter.
Lewis turned his head in the direction of the barracks. "Okay, It will take only a moment to park. See you later," said Lewis as he slid back into his car.
"Sir Hellsing just told me she wants to meet us in her office," informed Walter.
"Tell Madame Hellsing, I will be there shortly." Lewis waved and drove off.
"I can't wait for my night off!" said Seras happily as she followed the other two inside and up the stairs.
"Police girl, why do you still have this human fascination of going to clubs? You are above that now." said Alucard over his shoulder.
"Master, I'm still a girl who wants to dress up and go out once in a while. I don't like wearing my uniform twenty-four hours a day and hanging around those dark sub-chambers all the time. You may think you are bound to this old place, but I'm not."
"Lord Alucard, it is good for someone to have a change of scenery from time to time, or they will grow stagnate." added Walter.
"Alright, alright," said the No Life King and sighed in defeat. "Walter, no wonder you are in such a good mood when you have to go out and buy Integral's cigars."
They arrived into Sir Hellsing's office quietly. She nodded a greeting to them as they came up to her. Integral was standing over her desk with reports and maps spread out to read.
"I have been going over recent reports from our undercover informants. It seems Birmingham has some cases that are freak related and Yorkshire has some strange sightings of a monster. I will send in some troops to investigate…" Integral paused and looked up. She noticed someone was missing. "Where is Lewis?"
"He went to park his car, Sir Hellsing," supplied Walter.
"It should not have taken him this long to park." said Integral.
"Maybe he got lost along the way," said Seras and she nervously laughed.
"Victoria, please go find Lewis and bring him here," ordered Sir Hellsing.
"Yes Ma'am." Seras hurried out the door.
"I think, I will assist the police girl, said Alucard and he grinned toothily. The vampire in red faded into the shadows before Integral could stop him.
"I wish I could put a collar on him and tie him to my desk to stop him from wandering off like that," grumbled Integral.
"Ooh, you are kinky my master," sent Alucard into Sir Hellsing's mind and he chuckled with glee.
Integral angrily lit one of her thin cigars and slumped into her chair as Walter wondered what had put her in a bad mood all of a sudden.
Seras quickly ran out the front doors and almost crashed into her master. She stepped aside in time and headed in the direction of the parking garage. Her master just followed her with his long stride gate. All of a sudden, they heard a gun being fired from the barracks and high screech rang out into the night. More gunfire went off and more screeching followed. The disturbance came closer to Alucard and Seras.
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The racket reached up to the third floor of the mansion. It alerted the two occupants in the office.
"What in blue blazes is happening now!" cried out Integral as she jumped out her chair and almost dropped her cigar that she was holding.
"It seems we will have another exciting night again, Sir Hellsing. If my hearing is not mistaken, I think that it is gun I gave Captain Pip being fired," informed Walter
"Exciting night, my gray hairs, it is!" huffed Integral. "We better go down and see what damages were caused. I foresee going over our budget again." Sir Hellsing strode out of the office with Walter right behind her.
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"AL! ALUCARD!! HELP MEEEE!!!" screeched Lewis as he came running into view of Alucard and Seras. He lurched in front of a tree as a wooden stake thumped into the side of the tree where he once was. "EEEK!" screamed Lewis as he fearfully stared with huge emerald eyes at the stake inches away from his face. "Alucard, Help MEEE!" Lewis dashed over to Alucard,
Captain Pip, who had his long braid of blonde hair looped around his neck, was chasing him after. Pip was carrying a stake crossbow in one hand and a Walther P100 gun in the other. Two other soldiers were right behind him.
"Bloody vampire monster! Hold still so I can stake you to freaking ashes!" yelled Pip and tried to shoot Lewis with silver bullets.
"Alucard save me!" and Lewis grabbed onto the No Life King tightly. He looked back and saw Pip and his two friends come to a sliding halt. Lewis slipped behind Alucard squeezing tighter around his friend and buried his face between Alucard's shoulder blades.
"Agent monster, I advise you to step away from that vampire," commanded Pip as he aimed his gun and crossbow at the two vampires. "I caught this green eyed monster scum sniffing around our building."
Alucard tried to get out of Lewis' embrace and discovered that other vampire had a grip of steel on him. "Pip put away your popgun and kiddy bow."
"You idiot! Don't you call my master a monster!" bursted out Seras as she took a swing at Pip with her fist, which he dodged out of the way. "And, that vampire you tried to kill is our new field agent!"
"Alucard, you can have my body anyway you want in bed. Just keep that one eyed man from killing me," pleaded Lewis.
"Lewis let go of me! You are a vampire. Show some backbone to this human." Alucard tried to push off Lewis again without any luck. "You are disgracing us."
"Don't tell me the new field agent is a bloody Nancy!" exclaimed Pip and scowled.
"Hey! I am BI!" yelled back Lewis over Alucard's shoulder.
"What's the difference! You're still a blooming fairy!" ranted Captain Pip.
"What is going on here with all this gunfire and screaming!" demanded Sir Hellsing. She moved right next to Alucard and crossed her arms. "Captain Benadotte, explain yourself."
"No one told me that we had a new freaking vampire field agent here, Sir," replied Pip.
Integral noticed Lewis was rubbing his cheek against her vampire's shoulder and glared coldly at him.
Lewis felt ill thoughts toward him and looked over at Integral. He was frightened by Sir Hellsing's displeased stare. He sheepishly smiled and let go of Alucard as he backed away from her vampire.
"Oh dear, Sir Hellsing. It looks like we need to inform the troops about our guest," declared Walter.
"Sir, I heard gunfire! Are we being invaded!" Commander Fargason came jogging up to his superior.
"No Farguson. It was just a misunderstanding. Please gather up the off duty troops for a meeting," ordered Integral and she sighed.
"Man, I need a cold beer," said Pip. "I am going back to my bunk. I will see you later monster girl." Pip turned around and strolled back to barracks.
"Don't call me monster either, you idiot!" yelled Seras.
"Yes ma'am! Private Nick and Michael (Mika-chan, tee hee)! Stop gawking at our night agents and return to your guarding posts, on the double!!" commanded Farguson.
"Yes sir!" said Nick and Michael in unison and they marched back to the barracks, and Farguson followed them.
"Come along Lewis. Your stay here has to be semi public now since you lack the finesse to keep your presence hidden from others," said Integral as she lead the way in the same direction.
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In a crowded little room, filled men and women. Commander Fargason stood in front of them.
"Troops, I would like to introduce you to our new night agent," informed Farguson. "Please introduce yourself sir." The commander motioned to Lewis to come up to the front.
"Hello, my name Lewis. I am pleased to meet you," and he smiled nervously at the crowd.
"Hi, Lewis! Welcome to the Hellsing Organization!" greeted back most of the troops.
"Dear Lord, Queen, and Country! This sounds like some kind of Vampire Anonymous meeting," stated Integral and she groaned as she covered eyes with a hand.
Alucard fell over onto a metal chair in a fit of laughter. "Hahaha, maasterr are we going to have… Haha… a VA meeting every month? HAHAHA…!
"Alucard, I order you to stop laughing!"
"Sorry, my maasterr. Even you cannot control the nature of laughter." Alucard laughed more hysterically, and Integral fumed.
Seras hid her smile under her hand and tried not laughing at the scene before her while Pip just took a swig of his beer and a drag of his cigarette.
TBC…Review and I will write more X3
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Author's Notes:
1. I just love this ending song.
2. Okay, I was thinking of 007 movies XP Oh, What about Charlie's Angels! Or in this case, Integral's Fallen Angels XD
Pip: I am in this fic now, gee thanks o.o---x
KS: Well, I made another chap. I have no clue as to were this is going, but to add in Anderson X) into this fly by my wits fic. Before I go, I need to get rid of the cigars and cigarettes. They are very bad bad bad…(runs off with Pip's and Integral's supply)
Pip & Integral: You freak! Give back the cigs!! (Chases after KS)
Alucard: I can't stand the smoke either. The stink bothers my kin sense of smell.
KS: May God and Her Majesty be with you. Amen!
Anderson: Did da pagan lass just say she'll write me in this loony fic? O.O (Recites the Lord Is My Shepherd )
KS: Here Andy, hold these cigs for me. Bha hahahaha! (Anderson becomes the new shooting target)
Vertigo, light in the dark places, S.M. & Moni I am glad like my demented fic
kata5 I was not thinking of LT
Sprinkles They are just flatemates
Tain I can think of a few bad one's X)
Marcelle1 Will supernatural strangeness work better? I see Integral as the gun happy lady XP
BlazeStryker Actually, I was thinking of Nic'um's madness.
Victoria I think alias names keep me from the wrath of doom XP