Title: Alucard's Acquaintance
Chap. 4: Paladin Anderson: The Highlander (Ha, you wish XP)
Author: Kreuz Swords
Disclaimer: Sorry for taking this long, you know the school thing has my soul. Well, this nutty fan just dragged in Anderson that I don't own into the plot and I am really penniless due to buying the manga now XD;
Anderson: God, have mercy on me. o.o
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Walter was happily carried a silver polished tray and tea set through the hallway. It was almost three o'clock teatime for Sir Integral Hellsing. On the tray, there was also a small bundle of letters for Integral to read. When he arrived at the door, he balanced the tray on one hand and opened the door. Walter quietly closed the door and peacefully walked to the desk. He noticed that Sir Integral was corresponding to a few letters she had read from yesterday.
"Good afternoon, Sir Hellsing," announced the loyal retainer as he set down the tray on the old oak desk. Integral continued writing out a letter, and Walter pulled open the thick brocaded curtains to let in more light into the room.
"Good afternoon Walter," replied Integral when her old friend returned to make a cup of tea. Sir Hellsing removed the letter bundle from the tray, and she calmly shuffled through them. She came to a good associate's fancy scrawl and used a letter opener with a carving of a two-headed dragon handle. Integral unfolded the parchment paper and quickly read what was written to her. "Bloody hell!" exclaimed Sir Hellsing, and she crumpled up the paper and burned it with cigar lighter. She placed it into the ashtray to burn freely. Integral quickly picked up a slender cigar and lit it. She laced her fingers together and puffed in aggravation.
"Was it news of Iscariot visiting England without proper notification again?" asked Walter as he gave Integral her cup of tea.
"No, it was an associate's invitation to a charity Highland games in the evening tomorrow. If he was not one of the very few who loyally supports this organization, I could freely decline this ridiculous request."
"It has been long time since your last public outing."
"Do not remind me of the "Women's Brunch", which a freak had to show up in the middle of it," and Integral groaned.
"I must say, you showed great skill in marksmanship there, Sir Integral praised Walter.
"The charity game cannot be held at the worse time here. I do not think it would be a grand idea to leave home and trust it will be in one piece when I come back." She sighed with a cigar in her mouth. "Walter, tell Alucard and the other two down below to come a long on this outing. Also, include Captain Benadotte to enter into the games." Sir Hellsing set down her cigar to sipped her tea and returned her collection of letters.
"As you wish, Sir Hellsing." Walter bowed and left to make arrangements for tomorrow's evening outing.
XXXX
The day turned to evening quickly and sounds of a struggle broke out in a servant's section. Lewis and Seras were wrestling for the use of the shower in the hallway.
"Lewis give it up! I deserve to take a shower first due training most of the day with a stupid one eyed bloke while you sleep."
"I have the right to be clean first as a guest!"
"In your dreams, Cajun!"
"I am Creole!"
"Who cares! It's close enough!"
"Is there something the matter here, Lady Seras, Lewis?" inquired Walter as he had on a confused expression at them in close contact and clothing tossed about on the floor.
Seras and Lewis blinked owlishly at Walter's presence for a moment. They suddenly pushed apart from each other sheepishly. "No! Nothings wrong Walter!" said the two in unison. They began to pick up their scattered clothing off the floor.
"That is nice to hear then. Sir Hellsing has to attend a Highland game charity tomorrow evening and has ordered you two, Lord Alucard, and Captain Pip to accompany her and some participation in the games. Lady Seras, by any chance you know some traditional Scottish dance?"
"Only a few that I learned while I was in the Scotland Yard"
"Grand, I can enter you in the open dance competition. Oh, There is even a game for Sir Hellsing to enjoy." Walter wrote some names down on the entry form. "Do you need a dress?"
"No, I still have my formal kilt from being a Yardy."
"Very good then. Lewis, I have your assigned weapons ready for you now. When I come back from informing Lord Alucard's order, I will give them to you." Walter calmly walked passed them in the direction of the underground level.
"Ha, you snooze, you lose Lewis!" and Seras zipped into the bathroom behind the dark haired vampire and locked the door.
"Hey! Cheire why not you share the shower with me," pleaded Lewis.
"NO!" yelled Seras and Lewis groaned.
Lewis waited out in the hallway as Seras quickly washed up. She stepped out into the hallway just as Walter returned. The two followed Walter as he passed by them. Walter led the way to his office. On one of the tables in the room, two light brown, different sized cases were set on top. Just as the loyal retainer started to unlatch the smaller case, Alucard soundlessly stepped through the stone wall, and he ginned broadly when the others looked over to him.
"You could not resist seeing the new toys, eh master," teased Seras.
"You read my mind police girl," and Alucard chuckled a bit.
Walter opened up the case and a shinny new gun was revealed. He began his sales pitch, "This is very similar to Lord Alucard's Jackal, but as you can see it is a little larger and the target range is longer than the Jackal. It does uses quicksilver bullets. I call this gun Atreides." Walter handed over the gun to a clueless Lewis. "It goes into a thigh halter." He pulled up the long, slim case and opened it. The weapon case contained a long sword with a slight curve. "Here is something more to your fancy. This sword is like a Japanese sword, but it is a bit broader and little longer for more stability. The sword is made out of titanium stainless steel with an experimental strong metal, and coated with silver. It can cut through silk like water. The sheath straps to your back. I call this sword Elizabeth." Walter sheathed the sword and held it out, which Lewis took it. "Alucard will show you how to use this gun, and I will check on your sword skills later.
"Merci (Thank you) Monsieur Walter. Why do I still feel like I joined the NRA," complained Lewis to Seras.
"You are now part of the team Lewis," said Seras and hugged the reluctant vampire. "At least Walter didn't name the sword Excalibur."
"Oh Walter, I did not know that you crafted swords too," admired Alucard.
"Actually Lord Alucard, I had created this sword years back out of curiosity. It seemed fitting for Lewis as he lacked modern weapon skills."
"Come Lewis, let me teach you how to shoot at the target practice room."
"Can you teach me after I take a shower, s'il vous plaît (please)?" whined Lewis.
Alucard sighed and replied, "Yesss…"
Lewis quickly set down his weapons on the table and hurried out of Walter's office.
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The sun was disappearing brightly over the westward horizon and it marked that evening had came once again at the Hellsing estate. Seras and Lewis waited in the entrance hall for Alucard to grace them with his presence. Lewis was wearing his black jeans with a green shirt, and black leather, knee length jacket. His sword was strapped to his back and the jacket hid his gun. Seras was in a kilt in the Scotland Yard colors and her small gun was at her hip.
Finally, Alucard appeared from the stairway opening to the underground chambers and strolled over to his fledgling. He grinned wolfishly at Sears in her kilt. "We better go outside. I sense Integral is coming down now," informed the No Life King.
The three moved to and out the main doors. They saw Integral's gray Royal Royce and Lewis' dark green BMW convertible parked in the driveway. A lone figure in a kilt leaned against Lewis' car. The person was none other than the eye patched, Captain Pip Benadotte, which he looked very crossed at the moment.
"Don't you dare laugh at me, monster girl," threaten Pip as he adjusted his kilt. "Walter let me borrow this kilt for the Highland games. I really hate scratchy wool." Pip straightens his kilt again.
The three used all their will power not to laugh at Pip, for they feared Integral more if they even get mussed up by chance from Pip's rage attack on them if they did fall over laughing.
They all heard the main doors open and turned to see their blonde haired leader. Sir Integral wore a dark gray suit with a tartan (plaid sash from shoulder to hip) in the Hellsing colors.
"You are even more beautiful than all the heather in the land, master," said Lewis dreamily and swooned at Integral. Alucard whacked Lewis on the head reflexively. "Oww! What was that for Al?!" and he rubbed his head.
"Do not call her master," replied Alucard.
Walter came up to Integral's motor vehicle and opened the door for her.
Sir Hellsing turned to her accompanying agents and ordered, "I want the four of you to be on your best behavior, or I will chained someone upside down to the wall if you fail." She stepped into the Royal Royce and Walter closed the door and went into the driver's seat.
Pip glared at Seras. "You get shotgun, monster girl. No way am I sitting next to the fruitcake," and he got into the left side of the motor vehicle.
Alucard was next to slip into the back seat. Lewis moved around his BMW and opened the door for Seras.
"Way, thank you Lewis. Who said chivalry had died out." Seras glared at the two in the backseat as she sat down.
Lewis closed the door for her. He walked back to the driver's seat and hopped in to his seat. The vampire started the engine and loud music blared out of the stereos. The passengers were startled with 'Losing My Religion' by REM.
The three glared at their driver and yelled in unison, "Lewis!!!" They were not in the mood to listen to that kind of depressing music.
Lewis hunched down and laughed sheepishly. "Sorry. I forgot to take out the CD." He quickly clicked the player off. Lewis followed Integral's motor vehicle when it started to drive out.
A few miles down the road, Pip got tired of the silence. "Fruitcake, how long is this ride going to take?"
"Please, call me by my name," fumed Lewis.
"Ok… Soo, how long before we get there, Lewis?"
"I do not know…"
"Hey monster girl turn on the radio, " and Pip kicked Seras' seat.
Seras snorted. "Drop dead, loser."
"Do not mess up my car!" yelled Lewis.
Pip waited a few moments later. "Yo! I said turn on the radio!" and he kicked the back of the seat again.
"Quite it, you idiot! Do I look like your servant!!"
"Stop scuffing up my seats, Pip! Do not make me stop the car and tie you up! Hissed Lewis.
"Dear lord when did we become a family unit," said Alucard as covered his face with a gloved hand and shook his head. "I have a feeling this is going to be a long trip."
"Idiot! Stop pulling me hair!!" screamed out Seras.
"Pip!!! I am warning you!" growled Lewis.
"Correction, a very, very long trip," mumbled the No Life King.
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Out in an open field on the English countryside, the two Hellsing vehicles parked near the arts and crafts tents to the Highland games. Off to the side were sporting, dancing and music events. The little group got out of the motor cars.
Alucard strode over to Integral and promptly hugged her. "Master, I am so glad we are here."
"Alucard, what are doing?" said Sir Hellsing with no emotion. She had instinctively took out her gun and aimed at his heart while keeping it hidden from sight.
"I missed you master. Can I ride with you on the trip back, please."
Integral noticed behind her vampire that Seras and Pip were in a death glare match and Lewis was trying to count to ten in French while restraining his arm from pulling out his gun. "I will think about it. Now, remove your arms from me," said Sir Hellsing coldly, and Alucard quickly lets go of Integral.
A well dressed gentleman with a cane spotted Sir Hellsing and made his way over to her. "I am very glad you came to the charity games Sir Integral Hellsing." He outstretched his hand in greeting to his associate.
Integral firmly shook his hand and put on a fake grin on. "I could not refused such a nice invitation you sent me."
"Really, I didn't take you as the type for public outings."
"Then, this is just a business trip?"
"Of a sort, if you wish. Let's take a tour of the arts and craft area."
Sir Hellsing turned her head as she followed. "Alucard and Pip come with me. Seras and Lewis stay together as you look around. Later, enter the competitions that you are assigned to.
"Yes ma'am! Come Lewis, let me show you some of the Highland games," said Seras, and she took her friend's hand. She led the ways to the events' area.
Integral rejoined the finely dressed informant as he led the way the craft tents' area. Walter was as usual was by her side in an instant. The tall figure of Alucard trailed behind them. Captain Pip followed at long distance. Sir Hellsing and her informative friend quietly talked with each as they strolled along and pretended to be viewing the wares of the tents. Large fire torches provided most of the lighting and some electric lights to fight back the night for the charity event. After awhile, the gentleman nodded to Integral and took his leave to make a few important phone calls. Sir Hellsing started to look through an assortment of kilts as she waited.
Alucard came up close to his human master. "Pray tell me why I had to come along on this little outing to the English countryside. There are no freaks here to hunt," inquired the vampire in a long red coat.
Integral ignored him and pulled out a kilt from a pile. She held out the kilt to Alucard's waist and admired the fit with a raised eyebrow.
"You would not dare think about it master."
"I was very tempted to enter you into the sheepdog trial event, but decided not to" said Sir Hellsing with no emotion.
"Make sure the colors are red and black." Alucard ceased all inquires as to the reason for him to come to this silly human game.
Integral returned the kilt to the pile and searched around some more. Then from the corner of her eye she saw a tall, familiar figure with a large shinny cross around his neck holding two children's hands. "God's thumbs! I do not believe this ill luck." There before her was Anderson, who was their worse enemy, in full Anderson clan dress attire of light blue and black with red, yellow and white plaiding colors.
Just then, Anderson noticed Sir Hellsing and lackeys. "By all that is holy! May Angels protect me!" growled Anderson as he stopped near them.
Alucard's mouth changed into a large grin and said, "My you look dashing in that posh skirt and purse, Judas Priest," and he grinned even wider.
"It's ah kilt and sporran (money pouch), you ignorant Protestant blood sucking heathen beasty!" The priest remembered his charges as the two boys gapped at their mentor. "I mean, God bless you my children and Jesus loves you," said Anderson forcefully and grinned.
"What are you doing here?" questioned Integral with a vexed expression as Alucard used all his will power not to fall over laughing to make the situation worse.
"I'm raising money for my orphanage and have entered inta the Sword Dance and sword fighting competitions."
Sir Hellsing frowned even more since she could not toss him out because he was here for the charity games in public officially.
"If we have nothing further ta say this evening, I must be off. Pray for your salvation." Anderson stiffly walked away.
Sir Hellsing cursed under her breath and stormed off as her vampire followed behind snickering.
"Umm Walter, did we just witness a miracle of them not fighting?" asked Pip as they trailed behind their leader.
"I am taking it as a sign that the end is near," replied Walter dryly.
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Seras leaned against a thick wooden fence as she chewed on some bubble gum and blew a bubble once in a while. She had explained to Lewis on some of the Highland games and he later parted with her when some handmade knifes that caught his fancy. Seras had strolled over to the Hammer Throw event nearby. She idly watched the men in kilts spin throw a large hammer across the field. Seras heard someone walked up next to her, and she turned her head to see who came up to her. She saw before her was the stockiest or if not the widest Scotsmen she had ever seen. The man was a bit short and had a long beard. As he drank from his large flagon of ale, some dribbled down into his beard. Seras mentally gagged at the messy dwarf-like man. She turned her gaze back to the event quickly.
"Ar' ye not da prettiest wee lass I ha' ever seen," spoke the large Scotsman and moved closer to the Hellsing agent.
Seras petitioned to the saints if dwarf-like man was not really hitting on her. She pretended to not have heard him and hoped he would go away.
"If ye want som' real action me pretty lass, come join me in drinking and I show ye som' good action," and the large Scotsman laughed and elbowed Seras as she tried not to go off screaming.
"There you are Seras! Where do we go to next?" Lewis came strolling across the grass.
"Love muffin!" exclaimed Seras as she dashed up to Lewis and wrapped arms around him. She passionately gave the surprised black haired vampire a long, deep, steamy kiss.
"Ah, I'm sorry wee lass. I see that ye ar' taken already," and the Scotsman went off to somewhere else.
Lewis was breathless when Seras stopped kissing him to look over her shoulder to see if the dwarf-like man was not nearby. Lewis discovered he had something odd in his mouth. "Um, Seras mon(my) sweet? You forgot something." Lewis pushed out with tongue between his teeth Seras' piece of gum.
Seras turned her head back to Lewis and tightly squished him with her arms. "If you tell anyone dead or alive that I kissed you. I will personally cut off your head with a claymore, said Seras through clinched teeth.
Lewis gulped loudly and his flatmate let go of him. Then he grabbed for his throat and started gagging. "Yuck … I swallowed it! I think I am going to be sick…" Lewis bent over to cough out the gum.
Seras looked at him funny. "Oh Lewis, stop whining! Gum will not poison you." She grabbed the arm of the choking vampire and dragged him off. "I better get to the dance area."
XXXX
Sir Hellsing, Alucard, and Walter stood nearby the Caber Toss event area, and they watched Captain Pip's turn. Pip lifted the very long, wooden log called the caber with all his strength using interlocked hands at the bottom end. On unsteady legs, Pip tried to run with the caber enough to toss it and make the caber flip fully. Pip was able to flip the caber, but he fell forward when he did the toss. He landed on grassy ground on his face and his kilt flipped up.
"Hehehe, I see London, I see France, I see Pip's underpants, hehehe!" giggled Seras as she and Lewis came up to Alucard just in time to see the spectacle.
Pip quickly got up and pulled down his kilt. His face turned beet red as spectators laughed heartily. "Monster girl, I vow you will pay dearly for your insult today," mumbled Pip as he glared at Seras' direction. He scurried off the field with his hands still holding down the ends of the kilt. Sad to say, he did not win the competition.
"Lady Seras, how did you do in the dance competitions?" questioned Walter.
"Oh I did fine, but I was not as fancy as the other girls' dancing. Then at the Sword Dance, you wouldn't believe who I saw there!"
"Let me guess, it was the Iscariot agent with the swords," said Walter.
"Yes, how did you know?"
"We saw him in the craft area." supplied Sir Hellsing.
"Really. The way he acted was different than the Anderson I faced. It was scary to see him soo loved by the two kids he was with."
"Enemies and allies can wear many masks to hide their true self from others, police girl," said Alucard wisely. "Do not assume what you see around you as the absolute truth."
"Well, Anderson did win the Sword Dance event," continued Seras.
"Attention all ye bonny lasses! The Rolling Pin Toss will now begin!" announced a judge for the Highland games.
"Grand, Sir Hellsing I took the liberty of entering you into this simple competition," said Walter and he smiled.
"Oh goody, nothing like tossing a rolling pin to brighten up my mood," said Integral blandly and she smoked on her cigar. Soon Sir Hellsing's turn came. With dignity she walked up to another lady and calmly took the rolling pin presented to her. She tested the pin's weight and a thought crossed her mind. She smirked, and then Integral glared over to Alucard's direction as she held the rolling pin into view.
"Why do I suddenly feel real old and married to a ball and chain…" pondered the No Life King as he saw his master holding the rolling pin.
This is my finest moment I have ever seen. Integral is holding a domestic tool. She looks soo grand, now I can die a happy old man, " praised Walter and tears came to his eyes.
Seras, Lewis, and Pip stood near Alucard speechless at the scene before them.
Sir Hellsing turned back to the long field in front of her. She scanned the crowd of people that gathered around the sidelines. Then she saw a familiar outline on very far end of the field. Integral grinned and her eyes gleamed mischievously. Sir Hellsing pulled back her arm as far as she could and heaved the pin with all her strength. The rolling pin shot out across the field. It did not land on the grass, but instead the pin sailed all the way to the other end and accurately hit Anderson in the face, which knocked him down cold. The crowd cheered as the Judges announced that Sir Hellsing was the winner of the event.
Anderson awoke and came to realize who had tried to kill him with a rolling pin. "Kids or no kids, I do not have the patients of a saint! That woman has committed an unholy sin against me!!" The Iscariot agent went postal and pulled out his extremely sharp swords. He dashed across the field toward Sir Hellsing.
Alucard was happy to see some fun finally at this silly human game and pulled out his two guns. "Your orders, my master."
"With strain him," ordered Sir Hellsing calmly.
"With pleasure, my master." Alucard blasted away the Judas Priest's swords. He saw that Anderson quickly called up his blessed paper magic as an offence attack, and Alucard had trouble counter acting the spells as the bystanders started screaming.
Then out of nowhere, a large caber flew down on the berserk priest and smacked Anderson into the ground. The caber had flattened the Catholic down bodily with arms and legs sticking out. Anderson was completely unconscious and the blessed paper floated down onto the grass.
Lewis came into view dusting off his hands and looking at his handy work. "I think, who ever he is will cause us no more problems for the rest of the night." He turned around and saw the others in some state of shock as to what he done except for Alucard with his fire tinted sunglasses hiding his eyes. "Well Madame Hellsing, you did ordered to stop him, did you not?"
"Yes, I did" Sir Hellsing pulled out another cigar and lit it. She puffed out smoke and glared at her vampire, which he gave her a feral grin. Integral took a deep breath to reset her mind. "It is getting late, so let's head back home before more bad luck comes my way." Without further ado Sir Hellsing led her little group back to their motor vehicles. She made a mental note to write a letter of apology to her associate about her untimely exit. She hated the Iscariot with all her soul.
Walter opened the car door for Integral and other three headed for Lewis' sports car. When Walter got into the driver's seat, Alucard slipped into back with Sir Hellsing. The No Life King sat on the far opposite side. Integral coldly looked at him.
"Show mercy on me master and let me stay. It is very un-peaceful with the other three," pleaded Alucard.
Sir Hellsing kept silent, but she did not order him to leave. After a while on the road, Alucard had to ask his master something without Walter over hearing.
"Master, were you really going to discipline me the next time by beating me with a rolling pin?"
Interal simply scowled at Alucard and growled as a response to his question.
"Never mind..." Alucard snickered in his little corner as they drove back home.
TBC…Review please and I will write the next chapter. All are welcome :D
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Author's Notes and End Takes:
KS: Wow, 11 typed pages for this chapter (well 12 if you count this section)!o.o Oh dear XD;, I need to think of something for ch.5…Hummm, who will be next. Any requests for my hit list X)
Alucard: (in a black and red kilt, sporran, and stockings with flashers /bows that hold up the socks/) X( The greatest vampire lord of all time, and now I am reduced to being dressed in a school girl's skirt.
Lewis: I guess this shows us who wears the pants in this family XD;
Alucard: Lewis, not another word from you, or else!
(Judges)
Seras: (10) Great looking legs master!
KS: (10) Irish-Scott rules!
Integral: (10) Nice behind, love!
Anderson: (5.5) Ye posture is off! And, it's ah KILT! Jeez man! O.o
Pip: (5.1) You are giving me nightmares! 0.o
Walter: (5.7) I am sorry Lord Alucard. I soo hoped that Sir. Integral grew out of dressing you up like a doll -.o;
Intagral: Now, I order you to sing one of my favorite songs X)
Alucard: Please master, no!
Integral: SING! (shoots at Alucard)
Alucard: (Sings Shinny Happy People by REM. Integral sings the backup and starts an Irish line dance with holding hands)
KS: Well, on that note. Go in the name of God, and Her Majesty. Amen!
katsa5 Are you happy with my REM selection (Yes, I do own some of their CDs) XP
Sprinkles Well as you have read this is as far as I go with Seras and Lewis.
BlazeStryker I soo wish for Lewis' POV to have another book to himself again.
Female Heero Yuy: My, it felt like you searched my place looking for the next chapter XD.
Vertigo, S.M., ChibiJenn, yue no miko, AlexandriaDreya, and kawiistina: Hopefully my humor continued to entertain you some more.