Title: Alucard's Acquaintance
Chapter 6: The Forbidden Zone
Author: Kreuz Swords
Disclaimer: I do not own Hellsing and made no money with my bad handwriting. The plot was made up in my wild imagination. XD Do not take the slang as personal, which I think Pip should have his mouth washed with soap -.-;
----
Sir Hellsing and Walter were muttering over old reports and planned orders for dispatching in the Head Quarter's intelligence room. The evening air was a bit chilly in the castle mansion. The semi quiet solitude was soon disturbed by the fast sounds of boot heels and sight echo of laughter that got Integral's attention to glance at the open entrance and saw blurred forms flash by.
"What in blooming blazes!"
"I haven't the slightest clue why Lady Seras and Master Lewis have the habit of running in the halls when evening sets in, Sir Hellsing," and Walter sighed not looking from the papers before him. "My educated guess that it some kind of nightly game they play to race towards the water closet."
"A game hmm…? They say that idle hands lead to the devil's work. Let's have a select few have a mock hunt tonight to use this extra energy that they have lately," and Integral smirked with sarcasm. She pulled out a slender cigar and flipped open a lighter on to the end. Sir Hellsing chuckled to her self as puffs of smoke clouded about.
XXXX
Captain Pip was in full fighting gear with a paint gun ready to fire in his arms. He was silently doing a sweep of the front gardens in the moonlight. "Oh Monster Girl, where are you?! Come on out, so I can make into a messy piece of artwork for all to admire yah!"
"You blooming ass, stop calling me a monster! You don't dare call Alucard that!"
"It is all the better to hear you with my dear!" Pip darted toward the hedged where Sears' voice had came from. He jumped around the hedges' side. "Gotchya!"
A sword flashed out wickedly toward the one eyed man with long braided hair. He was barely able to duck his head out of the way in time. The sword sliced the paint gun in half. Pip tumble rolled out of the sword's reach when it slashed out again.
"You had chosen the wrong side mon capitaine," and Lewis fangishly grinned at his opponent.
Suddenly, Pip was shot many times in the back with pink paint balls. Seras ran up and slightly kicked him down. She fired more paint balls. "Ha! Take that you freakish scum! Yes! I soo won this time!" Seras did a little victory dance while Lewis wished he had more time with Captain Pip.
"No fair! A nancy vampire and a half against one human is unfair. You are lucky this time Monster Girl!" Pip was paint ball shot again on his facemask from Lewis since Sears used all her's.
"Seras, I think I know way Sir Hellsing likes shooting at things now. You can come to enjoy in silencing something that was annoying you."
"I'm going to hit the showers to wash this paint junk off me." Pip stomped off.
Lewis flopped onto the thick carpet of grass with the front gates within eyesight. He stretched and sighed. Seras sat down on the cool grass as well. She gazed up into the near twilight sky as the moon began to wane away.
"Don't you think the sky is seemingly grand again this night?"
"It does seems so cherie. But, I miss the nights in the swamps of my home. Maybe, someday you shall be able to come visit America, and I can show you the beauty of my home."
"You must be feeling homesick. It has been months since you came here."
"Oui, but only a little bit. I have been having good memories here and Sir Hellsing's assignments have kept me busy so as to not to notice the passing months. At home, there was only my master to liven things up as he found new ways to get into trouble."
"I would like to visit you home someday then. Sounds like vampires in America live with more freedom than here."
"We still keep our kind unknown from the public eye there. The elder vampires punish those who do not abide the set laws of our kind."
"I'm glad that you are enjoying your stay with me." Seras and Lewis returned to their sky watching in silence.
The sounds of boot heels and metal clinking reached the two's ears. "By the Lamb of God! I shall punish all sinners!" There stood Anderson on the other side of the fence near them. His blessed swords and glasses gleamed in the faint light.
"I have come ta avenge the defilement done unta me. I'm the servant o' the Lord and the wicked shall be sent inta the hell's fires." The tall priest continued to ramble on with religious zeal.
"Oh no, not him again!" and Seras groaned.
"Is that the same priest that I tossed a caber on?"
"Unfortunately, yes…"
Anderson chanted his fire and brimstone spiel out louder.
"I see no evil", started Seras.
"I hear no evil…"
"We speak no evil" both said in unison. They went back to relaxing in the grass and trying their best to ignore the Judas priest.
"Oy! Who is clamoring at this godforsaken hour at our bloody gates? The blooming Avon Lady that I hear so much about!" Pip came into sight with his favored gun and his long hair wrapped up in a towel. "Shit fuck! It's that crazy blade priest again. He is bad as the Mormons returning and not taking a no for an answer. He must be crackers to think he could take on all of Hellsing"
"HOW Dar' Ye, Ignor' the man o' the cloth!!!" fumed Anderson.
"Speaking about man of the cloth, I almost thought Sir. Hellsing was a man of the cloth," commented Lewis.
"What do you mean by that?" said Seras.
"Well, when I was looking for the library, I found Sir Hellsing's clothing closet. I saw many suits and clothes of hers that can be a rival to mon master Tatsel's."
"You're pulling me leg, mate! You went into her closet, and came out alive?" said Pip in disbelief.
"It is no lie."
"See! Lewis is a brave chap!"
"It was shear fool's luck!"
"I bet, no, I dare you to do the same, Pip" challenged Seras.
"Forget it, monster girl!"
"Are you scared that you might get caught?"
"I'm Not Scared!"
"Then I double dare you to go into Sir. Hellsing's closet and tell me if there is anything really girly in there! Don't bring what you call as a corset when we fully very well know that it is her bulletproof vest!"
"Fine, I'll do it!"
"Uhh…The priest with the swords has jumped the fence. Should we do something about it?" inquired Lewis.
"Of course Lewis. We should do something about the sword dancer intruding on our prized flower garden," mocked Alucard with his guns out behind the three. "Let's give him a warm welcome," and he wolfishly smiled.
Once again Sir Hellsing was rudely awakened in the wee hours by the sounds of battle at her front gates. She made sure her welcoming to Anderson was a very memorable one.
XXXX
Captain Pip skirted around a hallway corner. Lewis had given him the directions to the forbidden room of doom. The braided hair man had waited for Sir. Hellsing to leave her office for bed.
"Can't believe I am doing this. I should have just ignored that monster girl." mumbled Pip to himself. The eye patched man crept through the dark hallway. He came to the unmarked door that housed his leader's clothing. Men in the barracks believed that Integral always dressed as a man after the day she stopped her uncle's hostile takeover to be head of the family. Pip slowly reached down and turned the doorknob quietly. Hearing no alarms or odd sounds when opening the door, he slipped into the large room and closed the door. Pip let out a small sigh of relief in pulling off the dare so far.
He gazed about the spacious chamber and was amazed to see many types of clothing. The braided hair man thought that the French-American vampire was not kidding in mistakenly thinking of Integral was a man of the cloth. There were a lot of masculine suits and attire to be seen. Pip felt that he just walked in the Men's Warehouse. "Well mate, Seras dared us to find something real girly. Yeah, like a bleeding needle in a blooming haystack…" Pip started opening the drawers and then the cabinets in a quiet search. He was very careful to leave the clothing items as the way they were. Pip knew that Walter would notice even a fold or wrinkle out of place, and it would take little deduction of who was the fiend.
Finding no luck so far, the one eyed man continued his hunt into the walk in closets. When he was in the last walk in closet, Pip heard the muffled sound of footsteps and of the rattle of the chamber's doorknob. He stiffened up in startlement, but Pip recovered fast enough to sneak over to shut the closet door and hid behind one of the sliding door compartments. He prayed not to get caught as Walter puttered on into the chamber. Pip held his breath when the trusted retainer came into the closet he was hiding in.
Walter picked up what he was looking for and left. Pip let free his lungs and discovered he was strangling himself with his braided hair around his neck while he pulled at the end in apprehension.
"This must be the dumbest thing I have ever done in my life…" mumbled Pip. He came out of his hiding spot and went on to hunt for a girly item. At the very back, the blond haired man found a hidden wooden box. He grinned roguishly and then picked at the lock. Pip opened the lid and peered inside. His eye widened and his jaw dropped at the thing that could pass in a way as a girly item.
"Do you know that it is very impolite to rummage around in a lady's bureau…Even though it is filled with men's apparel," spoke the No Life King while he hanging upside down half in the ceiling.
Pip nearly jumped out of his skin and fainted in fright, but he only jumped up and hid the box behind him as he slammed into a corner for protection. His frighten eye gazed upon Alucard's long silken black hair hanging down near him. He slowly followed the hair up to Alucard's disapproving face. Pip shivered as he looked into the vampire's unhidden fiery eyes.
"Please remove your pathetic body from my master's dressing room."
"Uhh…Sure mate. I was just leaving…" Pip straightened up the area and made a beeline out the chamber door and quietly hurried through the hallways to the underground chambers.
Alucard had noticed that Captain Pip had taken the wooded box with him. His curiosity was just as bad or even worst than a cat's. The vampire slipped back into the wall.
XXXX
Seras and Lewis were waiting in their quarters for Pip to return. Lewis sat at the little table fidgeting with a lock of his hair while Seras was lying on her bed. Both stood up when Pip came into the stony room.
"I made it back alive! And behold monster girl, I did find something girly in Sir Hellsing's clothing chamber," said Captain Pip in a softer voice and looked toward the open door. He closed the door shut and took out the wooden box from within his shirt. "Well…" and Pip coughed a little, "…Umm, I think this item kind of falls into being girly or something like the sort," and he nervously laughed a bit as he opened the box to reveal to his immortal comrades to see.
"Sweet Bridget!" and Seras covered her mouth and lightly flushed at what she saw. "We are so dead with our heads shot off and our bodies burned if we are caught with this!"
"Shhh…! Not so loud, mate."
"I don't understand, what is it?" questioned Lewis. He picked up object to look at it better in his elegant, pale hand. Lewis' face expressed full puzzlement. "Is it to go around something?"
Seras and Pip started to snicker and then giggle out at the sight of the pondering vampire.
"Urr, well… it's to…uhhh…Oh, I can't say it… It is too embarrassing to say it," flustered the police girl.
"Mate, you better put it back in the box before I laugh louder. I was shocked surprised when I saw it. I would never in a million years thought that Integral would have such a thing."
"But, what is it? I am sorry for mon ignorance. I entreat you to say what is it for?"
"I can't say it either, mate. I am afraid to say it. So, mums the word, and we will keep this information to our selves. You understand."
"Oui." Lewis eyed at the object trying to figure out what is so very risque about it.
"Let me see the cursed thing that all of you are twittering and shying away from!" demanded Alucard as he floated down from the ceiling where the No Life King was ease dropping on the trio. He frightened Pip and Seras out of their wits at his sudden appearance.
Lewis handed over the object to his friend. Alucard toyed with it, and his mind was stumped as to what it was as well.
"I noticed it has your name inscribed upon it," informed Lewis next to the taller vampire.
"It does!" said Pip and Seras in union. "Mother forgive us, we are deader than dead."
"But, it is too large or should I say too small to fit me? My fledgling's mine is in total denial of it that I am not getting what it is."
Pip and Seras started choking at Alucard's words. They had a feeling it would fit him.
"Pheh! I give up to what this mortal plaything could be used for." He gave the object back to Lewis. Alucard picked up the words "that is soo gaay" from Seras' thoughts. He did not see anything happy about the situation at all.
Lewis retrieved the wooden box from Pip and placed the item back in its spot. He locked it up again and returned it back to the one eyed man.
Pip quickly hid the box back under his shirt and scarf and went off to put it back where he had found it.
The No Life King slipped away into deep shadows of a corner.
"Oh, it is almost morning. Good day to you, Seras." Lewis drowsily went over and snuggled into his nest of blankets to hide from the light of day.
"Sleep well Lewis. I better get some shut eye myself after what we did yesterday and tonight as well." Seras went off to brush her teeth and returned to her bed to sleep.
"Police girl, what was the object that my master keeps hidden anyway?" asked the disembodied voice of Alucard.
Seras closed her mind up tight and covered her face with pillow. "Trust me you don't want to know. It is not important enough to fuss over either, master."
"But, I am dying to know what the cursed thing was anyway."
"One of these days, I will show and tell you with Lewis in full detail in town what it is used for. But, not right now! Go to sleep master."
"Why, I am not tired?"
"Fine, I'm going to sleep then!"
"Seras?"
"Yeah, what now?"
"Vampires in America are tricky to deal with. They are not all free from petty things as I am. Be careful around them and stay close to Lewis over there."
Seras sat up in her bed. She did not know that her master overheard her small talk with Lewis the night before. "I will my master."
"Sleep well Seras…"
Alucard's fledgling went back down on her bed and dreamed of sweet nothings.
…TBC, review please XD Toss in ideas for my muse to nibble on as well. Then you get more out of me…
XXXX
Author notes & End Takes:
KS: ::Whispering first line:: I shall leave what "the item" was up to you XD (Yes, I know what it was, but I'm not telling XP If you want to take a guess, I could send a signed copy of this fic to the winner. v.v;). Well, 'tis another chapter to this fic o' mine, and look my readers o' mine get one more chapter out of this story. I thought it would end on this chapter. The outline got too long to be in all in this one, so I shall continue in the next chapter. Poor me with taking longer than I thought with this fic vv;
Anderson: Ak, th' suspense is kill'n me!
Integral: I still think Mel-chan is a Japanese spy…
KS: Now, now Sir Hellsing. 'Tis not nice to stake my beta. Anyway, go with the good wishes of God and Her Majesty. Amen!
Mel-chan: I am no spy! T-T ...isn't a beta a type of fish?
Pip: What the bloody ... ?
Mel-chan: Well anyways, thankies KS for letting me have special VIP editing privileges! XD ::huggles::
Alucard: You mean I have to endure another Shilling Shocker with this crackpot lot?!
KS: Mann, I need break from you guys …my poor other wee fics ;.;