Chapter 2

The Rift Widens

—

Way to go, Strife, Cloud thought, slapping his palm to his forehead as the door to the deck of the Highwindslammed in his face. Not only did you piss her off, but you didn't even tell her what you really came up here for. Now you'll never get another chance...

Cloud grimaced at his internal thoughts as he continued to curse his stupidity. He walked over to the rail again and kicked the post, but his foot glanced off the edge and flew through the gap between the bars. He lost his balance and fell flat on his back.

"Oow..." Cloud groaned, rubbing the back of his head where it had smacked the deck. Everything about today sucks...

He lay with his back to the deck and his hands folded behind his head, staring thoughtfully at the blue and swirling white sky above him.

Tifa, why is it so hard to say? he thought for the millionth time. I mean, we've come this far together, working together through the war– you've always been right by my side...

Cloud sighed deeply and pressed the palms of his hands to his eyes. Now that the fighting is over, there's this... distance. I can't ask you to go a little further with me, it's just different this time. I don't want you to think...

The corners of his mouth that normally smiled so easily became a deep frown as he mentally reprimanded himself again. It was stupid for him to wish that she wouldn't think exactly what he wanted her to think. If asking her to go to the ends of the Planet with him might suggest that he liked her as more than a friend, then that was good, right?

No! came the firm, rehearsed answer. He just couldn't risk it. He hated the possibility that after he had finally found the courage to tell Tifa how much he cared about her, the delicate balance that was their friendship would be upset. What if she didn't feel the same way? Then he wouldn't even have the comfort of her present distance. A rift would be rent between the two of them. There would only be an uneasy tension between them after the rejection, both knowing that forbidden feeling still lingered within him.

No, he couldn't stand that. At least as friends, he could blithely follow her like a puppy just content with its master's company. He couldn't bring himself to break her trust and happiness for the sake of his own, selfish feelings.

Moron, what do you think you just did? You think she was crying for joyCloud groaned again, rubbing his face with his hands as he rolled to one side. He couldn't make her happy either way. Maybe he should just...leave. It was better than sitting right in front of her, watching her cry and knowing that there wasn't a damn thing he could do to comfort the suffering he himself had caused. He was of no use to her. He was a burden, and in the way of her happiness.

At that moment, the door burst open with the sound of frenzied, rushing feet.

"Wark! Wark! Waaaaarrrrrkkkk!!!!"

"Yaahh!! Crazy chocobo! Calm DOWN!! Owowow!! No biting!"

Cloud leapt to his feet before he got trampled by the Steve the Stable Boy and Smooth, his Gold Ocean Chocobo.

"Whoa, there there, boy," Cloud said to his giant bird steed, taking the reigns and stroking its beak gently.

Steve the Stable Boy leaned against the side of the ship with his hands on his knees, panting as Cloud adjusted the saddle and bridle. The airship began to shudder slightly as it prepared to land. Several of Cid's crew members rushed down rope ladders to secure the ship from the ground, and after a few minutes the ship was bobbing as lightly in the air as a skiff on the water.

As the crew proceeded to assemble the Chocobo Air-Release Device (CARD) that would deposit the bird safely on the ground, Cid appeared to send Cloud off.

"So, this is it, Mr. Leader?" Cid said, adjusting his pants.

"Oh, don't say it like that, Cid," replied Cloud sympathetically. "I'm sure we'll have some sort of reunion in few years. You'll see us all again far sooner than you'd like, I'll bet."

"Whaddaya talking about, Spike?" said Cid with a snort. "I mean, I thought there were two chocobos. Where's Mint?"

Cloud hesitated for a moment. Mint was Tifa's Green Mountain Chocobo. Cid had assumed that Tifa would be going with Cloud. Instead of explaining to Cid and getting his ear chewed off with the "Too-Young-To-Know-What-You've-Got-Until-It's-Too-Late" speech, Cloud opted for a less heart breaking route.

"Well, I only see one," he said shortly, hoisting himself into the saddle. He tugged on the rope leading from the basket that his chocobo was in to the ground to signal he was ready as Cid crossed his arms over his chest and viciously chomped on his cigarette, obviously annoyed at having his intelligence insulted.

"Have it your way, kid," muttered Cid as the basket lowered from view.

—

On the ground, Cloud started Smooth off at a canter, making straight for the forest ahead and leaving the sunset behind him. An increasingly sickening feeling in the pit of his stomach grew, however, the further he ventured from the ship. He kept waiting for the sound of the air ship to take off, but there was only the dull humming of its fan blades and the occasional creaking of its rusted metal siding. He bit his bottom lip and nudged his feathered companion slightly in the ribs with his heels to move a little faster.

When he finally reached the edge of the forest, he could resist the urge to look back no longer. As he turned, he finally heard the sound of the old engine kicking back into life and the distant shouts of the remaining crew members preparing to take off. With his Mako enhanced sight, he thought he saw on the faraway deck of the Highwind a lone figure standing with a long trail of dark hair twisting in the wind beside her.

He watched as the ship lifted slowly into the sky and headed off into the deepening crimson sunset. He suddenly felt very lonely and vulnerable as the wind whipped out of the trees behind him and onward toward the figure on the ship deck. He stared into the distance until he was only imagining the speck of the airship in the fading sunlight.

Smooth was growing restless, shifting on his clawed feet and drawing Cloud's attention back to reality. Sighing, Cloud shook his head and drew the reins up, leading the bird's head in the direction of the dense forest. He stared numbly at the dirt path in front on him, reins slack in his loose grip as his thoughts were elsewhere.

Tifa, he thought. Please forget about me, please be happy. I'll never see your beautiful smile again, but I know someone else will, and he'll make you so much more happy than I ever could.

Cloud's eyes narrowed as he resolved once more that he was doing the right thing. He tightened his grip and jerked the startled chocobo into a trot, proceeding deeper into the shadows of the forest.

—

Tifa wanted a quiet place to calm down, but she knew that she couldn't get down the hallway without running into someone. She saw the stable man leave the Chocobo Room, so she headed quickly into it. She collapsed onto a pile of straw and lay there, concentrating on clearing the lump in her throat.

He's leaving me... was all she could think. No, he was never with me to begin with. He's been in love with her... with Aeris. Tears began rolling down her cheek again and she angrily wiped them away.

If I had only told him sooner, he might have stayed...he might have loved me... Visions of her dead friend swirled around her head and a new wave of tears she thought that she had already cried came to her again. She didn't try to fight them back anymore, but refrained from crying out loud, trying not to draw attention to herself.

Tifa's Mint was in there, as well as Yuffie's Yellow Plains Chocobo, Bauble. Mint, being asleep, took no heed of Tifa's sudden intrusion. Bauble, however, taking notice of its new neighbor, warbled to her in an almost sympathetic way. Tifa choked on a sob and stared at it, suddenly noticing that it had such lovely, calm, blue eyes and bright yellow feathers sticking up in all different directions on it's head.

Like Cloud's hair, and his eyes... Tifa thought absently, and then was suddenly angry at herself.

"What am I doing, acting like this," she said aloud. "Crying like a child, I should be ashamed of myself."

She stood up, brushed off tears and straw, and strode purposefully from the room and toward the bridge.

—

Cid was yelling at one of the flunkies again, so it was a moment before he noticed her.

"What the hell were ya thinkin'?!" Cid yelled down at the cowering pilot-in-training. "You go AROUND the God-damned mountain, not try to run straight into it!! Whadda ya tryin' to do, wreck the Highwind?!" A vein was throbbing dangerously in Cid's forehead.

"God-damned flunky! Might as well pilot the m#$&-f$ing ship myself!" With that, he reached up to grab his pack of cigarettes from behind the strap of his goggles sitting on top of his head, and found it empty.

"GODDAMMIT!!"

Cid spun around in a rage to find the slightly alarmed Tifa quietly standing in his path.

"Oh, sorry you had to see that, Tifa." Cid said in normal tones. "Just cussing out this half-wit lackey for nearly killing us all." He threw a dirty look over his shoulder at the terrified teenager who had taken Tifa's appearance as a God send and had crept carefully away towards the hallway.

"Git on! Git on down to the stables and shovel shit for awhile!" Cid yelled as the trembling creature fled from sight.

"Yeah, you'd better run..." Cid muttered . He was reminded of Tifa's presence by her soft laughter from behind him. He turned around to face her.

"Well, where are you off to?" he asked, all business again. "Wait a minute, I thought you were following Cloud to Gonaga? He's waitin' for ya, ain't he?" he continued, watching the cheerful smile disappear from her face.

"Oh, Teef. I'm...I'm sorry," Cid stammered, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. "He didn't...I didn't think he was serious..." Cid started to apologize, but Tifa cut him off as Yuffie skipped into the room.

"What do you mean, Cid?" Tifa asked innocently, although she was desperately stifling another wave of tears. "I had no intention of following Cloud anywhere," she lied, and she knew by the skeptical look on his face that Cid knew, too, but she continued on with a brave front.

"I'm going with Yuffie, as it happens, to Wutai..." Yuffie heard this and jumped over in their direction.

"Really? That's great, Tifa!" Yuffie exclaimed, and Tifa was actually surprised at her enthusiasm. "Now, you'll let me work there, right?" Yuffie continued. "That old fart owner fired me and wouldn't let me work there again, but I swear I won't steal from the customers this time!"

Tifa cast a sideways glance at Yuffie, but continued to address Cid. "Yeah, I kinda miss owning my own business, and I think I'm going buy the Turtle Paradise bar there." Even if that isn't what I wanted in the first place, it won't be so bad, she thought. One has to learn how to improvise if one wants to survive...

After confirming the final destination to be Wutai, Tifa excused herself to the deck again, and took up her previous post. Cloud was gone, of course, along with his chocobo.

I'll miss you, she thought to herself as the wind picked up speed again. But I'll make it without you. I've done this before without you.

Tifa tilted her chin up a bit as the wind blew errant tears from her eyes and played with her long hair once more. She was as sure that she would never see him again as she was sure that she would never love someone as she had loved him. She stared off into the distance, waiting to see her new home.