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Penelope Richmond: no problem...life happens lol. thanks for reviewing. I have a beta now, but I suppose you can never have too many. :)
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A/N: Angsty chappie ahead, but you know you love it anyway. ;)
Sometimes You Just Need a Slap in the Face
Chapter 6: Beautiful
Dedicated to my wonderful beta: Andy (Black Padfoot)
If I was beautiful like you
knock, knock. "Who is it?" Ginny asked, clutching her journal protectively, anticipating having to hide it.
A deep, placid voice answered, "It's Harry."
All the things I would do
For the past two weeks since he arrived at the Burrow and since Ron and Hermione had openly expressed their feeling for each other, Harry had come into Ginny's room before dawn, and they would talk until their morning run.
Those not so blessed would be crying out murder
Usually they talked about Quidditch, or some new joke Fred and George had come up with, or something else to ease both of their minds. But today was different.
And I'd just laugh and get away with it too
Like you do
Harry, as usual, sat on the edge of Ginny's cushy bed, quietly smiling at her at she made to put her journal away. He put his hand on top of hers, which was still holding the book just above the bedside table. "Er...if you don't mind, Ginny, may I ask what you're always writing in that diary?"
If I was beautiful like you
I would never be at fault
Ginny blushed slightly at the physical contact, and rather harshly took the book back from Harry's hands, placing it underneath her bed. "It's not a diary, Harry, it's more of a journal," she said hurriedly.
I'd walk in the rain between the rain drops
Bringing traffic to a halt
Harry furrowed his eyebrows. "Erm, I'm sorry, but what's the difference?"
But that would never be
That would never ever be
Ginny sighed curtly in impatience; she was hoping Harry would never develop a curiosity in her frequent writing, but it was too late now. She decided to be frank with him. "The difference, Harry, is that a diary is what I kept in my first year of Hogwarts. A diary is what Tom Riddle used to trick a stupid little naive girl into nearly killing her fellow students. A journal is just where I record things--it can't come to life. It's just a book." Her eyes were now out of focus and glistening with tears she was fighting very hard to hold back.
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me
Harry's eyes deepened in concern. "You don't still blame yourself for that, do you?"
If I was beautiful like you
I'd be quick to assume
they'd do anything to please me, why not
I see their reaction when you walk into the room
Ginny snorted. "Look who's talking. And no, I don't blame myself for it, not now anyway, but when V--Tom possesses you the memories don't just disappear. They stay with you forever. I have dreams every night about--never-mind." Her brown eyes were looking at her bedspread, but flitted upward briefly to catch the expression on Harry's face.
But that would never be
That would never ever be
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
Harry studied her chocolate glistening eyes carefully, taking in every word she had just said. "I have dreams about Voldemort too, Ginny--" she flinched at the mention of the Dark Lord's name, " Why don't you just say his name? He was controlling you for a year, it's not like you're not familiar with him or something." Harry's eyes widened to the size of saucers when he realized the cruelty of the words he had just said, and immediately wished he could take them back.
I'm beautiful like me, beautiful like me
Beautiful, beautiful like me
Like me, Like me...
Ginny's eyes flashed dangerously. "How very observant of you, Harry. You're right; he did control me for a year. And I can say it. I can say V-V-Voldemort. But I won't pretend I'm not afraid Harry, I can't and I won't." The tears in her eyes were overflowing, ready to fall at any given moment. "I was going to give you another lecture about how you should be more sensitive, but you know what? I won't. Because maybe I'm the one who should be more like you. Is that what you want? Well, I'm sorry, but I'm not Harry James Potter. I'm not the one who has the capability to save the entire wizarding world. I'm just another silly little girl Harry, is that what you think? That I'm too silly to get over a little incident like the one in my first year?"
If I was beautiful like you
I'd have so many friends
All fighting for my time to be next in line
So if I hurt one, I wouldn't have to make amends
Harry was desperate, his mouth opening and closing, trying to find the most remedial words. "Ginny-I-I-don't at all think you're a silly little girl. I think you're an amazing girl--young woman--" he blushed profusely, "And if I ever gave you the impression that I thought you were anything less than remarkable, then I'm the silly one. I don't think I've ever had more in common with anyone else than I do with you; I really respect you, Ginny. And about the whole Voldemort thing, I only meant that I know you're strong enough to overcome your fears about--"
That would never be
That would never ever be
"Don't, Harry. Just stop. You can't do this to me. It's too confusing. Look, maybe I'm not actually strong enough to say His name with as much care with which you say it, and maybe I can't deal with as much pain as you can, and maybe I can never be nearly as much as you, the one and only Harry Potter, and maybe I have too many fears, but I'm still Ginny. I am Ginny Weasley, and I know who that is now and I won't let anyone change that. So there's no need to flatter me Harry, I know my own faults, but that's just me. Neither you nor anyone else can change that." Tears were now pouring down the small red-headed girl's delicate face, making her look to Harry like a broken angel.
Cause I'm not beautiful like you
I'm not beautiful like you
Before hurrying out of her room, Ginny reached quickly underneath her bed and tossed the journal that had started the whole argument at Harry, leaving him sitting there, absolutely speechless, and unable to move an inch.
I'm not beautiful like you
Ginny hurried down the stairs to see her Mum coming through the front door, looking a complete wreck, her hair tousled, and tears streaming down her cheeks.
I'm beautiful like me
"Mum?" Ginny's hoarse voice quivered.
"Ginny, dear...Gringott's was attacked today. Bill was severely injured. It was death eaters. He's at St. Mungos right now."
Beautiful like me, beautiful like me
In that moment, all worries about which way her relationship with Harry was going evaporated, and she was just Ginny Weasley, a fifteen year old witch, sobbing into the arms of her equally devastated mother.
I'm beautiful like me, I'm beautiful like me.
"Beautiful" by Joydrop
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A/N: Next week we will find out a) how Bill is doing and b) why Ginny keeps ignoring Harry's advances. Have patience, my friends, the romance IS COMING. I can't wait! I ask for at least ten more reviews, please, because I WANT MORE REVIEWS!!!!! I LIVE off of them people, so please don't cut my lifeline. lol, oh...how I love being dramatic. In your review, please state your favorite place in the world (be it a country or a corner of your room.) I had a dream that I asked that in my a/n, so I will. :) Have a lovely day, and REVIEW.
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