Disclaimer: AGAIN?! Ok fine, ruin my day like that. I don't own Harry Potter.
HarryPotters-angel- thank you...hope you like this chapter as well.
Silver Warrior- I'm relieved that you like the complexity factor I've tried to add.
Me- cool, thanks.
A Harry and Ginny Dreamer- yeah I know the kiss was not as joyous as it could been, but never fear, Harry and Ginny shall have their proper romantic moment. I actually used to hate Sarah McLaughlan, but now I really like her songs. By the way, I love your story.
bridget- thanks, please keep reading!
Black Padfoot- thanks again for beta-ing. Harry and Ginny will hopefully get together soon.
lily- um...if you think this story is a piece of crap, could you please give me some constructive criticism so I can improve it? By the way, the word is spelled "poorly", not 'porely.'
Sabine Strohem-Moss- glad you liked it! there is more kissing yet to come...
Penelope Richmond- BWAHAHA! yes i'm evil, but i will try to be good in the future lol.
peppy132- wow i really am evil! lol. I know, Harry is a typical male, so clueless. and there will be love and passion and lust in due time :).
HarryPotters-angel- thank you; hope you like this chapter!
Treck: Thank you for beginning to read my story anyway, although it's too bad you don't like the song-fic aspect. I will think about it, but this I use music to inspire my writing.
QueenofDarkness13: Thank you! You're a really good writer, by the way. I'm honored that you read my story.
ecanem025- I will try to make this chapter a little bit longer, and that's the second complaint I've had about the lyrics--I'll think about it. Thanks for reading!
A/N: Thanks to my beta Black Padfoot, and to all of you who reviewed, especially those who offered constructive criticism; it really does help me, so thanks!
Sometimes You Just Need a Slap in the Face
Chapter 8: Inner Smile
Oh yeah
You gave me something
Like loving
And took me in so soon
"Hermione!" Ron said in a terrible attempt at a hushed tone, beckoning the bushy-haired girl to where he was standing outside his room.
Hermione did not rush as she walked over to Ron, "Ronald, what is it? If you have not noticed, it is ten o'clock, and there is a wonderful aroma of breakfast coming from downstairs. I'm hungry."
You took my feelings
From nothing
Came back at noon
Ron raised an eyebrow. "You've been spending way too much time around me. Anyway, look in here."
Ron grabbed Hermione's hand, and she peered inside the room to see Harry fast asleep. "He usually gets up really early in the morning, but for the last week, he's slept in. What do you reckon is going on?"
Just meet me
I'm ready
To show myself to you
Hermione sighed. "Honestly, Ron. You really should learn to be more observant. It's rather obvious, isn't it?"
"What's obvious?! Harry keeps brooding all over again, and he hasn't done that for weeks!" Ron looked at his girlfriend incredulously.
Hermione snorted. "Well, you're going to have to figure it out on your own for once, difficult as that may be."
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
"Hey--Hermione--" But Hermione had already reached the bottom of the staircase.
Sighing for about the sixtieth time that morning, Harry sat up on his bed and scooted to the very edge. He stood up, and then shaking his head violently, plunked back down on the bed, his hands covering his face.
If I lose my patience
Oh yeah
"Argghh," he grumbled, continuing to berate himself for his careless acts, which he had been reminded of in his dreams last night. Harry Potter, the Boy Who Lived, the sole being on Earth who could vanquish the most powerful evil imaginable, felt more frustrated and angry than ever before. And not because of any of the tasks set before him; his hardest task now was to sort out the reality of his feelings for Ginny Weasley, to let her know what those feelings were, and not to make a bloody fool of himself in the process. Although, it seemed that the latter had already occurred.
Cause you make me feel
Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
'WHY, did I do that?', Harry thought, Why in Merlin's name did I have to kiss her? I shouldn't have lost control like that.'
'But then again, she didn't seem to mind the kiss; she kissed me back.'
'Then why did she look so angry and hurt afterwards?'
'Oh I give up. I'll go apologize to her--if anything I still want to be her friend.'
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
Stepping out of his thoughts, Harry grimly muttered 'women...' then opened his door and walked toward Ginny's room.
"Just a minute," Ginny said, her voice laden with fatigue as she put her dressing gown on over her nightclothes. She had been doing schoolwork all morning, trying by all means to keep her thoughts off of the subject of Harry. "Alright, come in."
The door opened and the messy haired boy who used to consume all of her dreams walked in. "Oh, hi Harry," Ginny said, not even bothering to keep the resentment out of her tone. So much for not thinking about Harry.
And free me
"Hi Ginny," Harry replied softly. "May I...?" He said, gesturing to the spot next to her on the bed.
"Oh, yes, of course, sit down...." She sighed wearily as Harry sat down next to her.
"Look, Ginny--I'm really sorry about--"
"Harry!" she interrupted, perturbed, "I already told you, it doesn't matter. I've already forgotten about it, we should really just pretend it didn't happen." The redhead was hoping he would take her not-so-subtle hint and leave her alone.
You make my wishes
As much as
Your kisses make me blue
And Harry almost complied with her wishes. "Right..." he started, then with some foreign courage he did not know he did or could even possess, he said, "Actually, no."
Ginny snapped her head toward him, caught by surprise by his immediate change of tone--a tone he really hadn't used before. "No, what?" she inquired, raising an eyebrow.
Harry turned to face the girl at his side. "No, that isn't right."
You've found my river
Ginny growled in frustration. "For goodness sake Potter, WHAT isn't right?"
Harry remained calm. "What you just said--that we should just forget about it--that isn't right."
Now will you
Escape away too
The redhead's temper began to heat up. "And all of the sudden, you're the judge of what is and isn't right? It's a matter of opinion, Harry."
He shook his head. "No, Ginny. It's a matter of being honest with ourselves. Listen--remember that day when I asked you about your journal? And then you threw it at me?"
"Yes! And?" Ginny snapped back.
But baby
I'm ready
I'm falling into you
Harry ignored the sharpness of her reply. "Well, I figured that meant you wanted me to read it--" he paused to make sure she wasn't going to throw a Bat-Bogey hex at him (one could never be too careful when dealing with the Infamous Weasley temper), then continued, "So I did read it, and I-I knew then."
Ginny was now on the verge of spontaneous combustion. "Knew what, Harry?" she asked in a dangerously low voice.
So if I lose my patience
You must try to understand
"That there is so much to live for," he answered, now looking determinedly at the wall.
Ginny snorted in disbelief. "And how did you gather that from my journal?" she interrupted.
'Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
"Because I guess I didn't realize how much Voldemort has been a part of your life. Stupid of me, I know, but even after the Chamber of Secrets, it just never registered that you are every bit as connected to Him as I am. In slightly different ways, yes, but not really. I mean--what you wrote about feeling tainted and dirty, about never being able to fully get his spirit, his voice out of your system--I feel that too. And you...you are so strong, so determined--I suppose the reason I didn't think you could understand me is that you always seem so in control of your life, of your choices. And I admire that. A lot."
You got me in the mood
So come on and make your rule
He paused, watching for Ginny's reaction to all of his musings. She too had her eyes fixed on the wall, but Harry could see that she was fighting tears.
He tentatively laid a hand on her shoulder and she flinched. "Ginny--I don't know how or when it happened. But furthermore I don't understand how it didn't happen earlier on. I've been a bloody fool. I've been so self-absorbed, concentrating so much on how much was going wrong in my life that I couldn't even see the wonderful, the beautiful things that were right in front of me. I didn't see you. And that is my fault. That is my loss."
And free me
Free me
Free me
Ginny looked up at this, surprised at Harry's calm and well---wise words, but even more surprised that he noticed her at all. Even though they had grown closer over the past few weeks, she had assumed he was just using her as a last resort--and that the kiss was just out of his own loneliness.
Harry seemed to read her thoughts. "When I said I was sorry for kissing you," he said gently, "the only thing I was really sorry about was that I hadn't done it before. And I am sorry if I hurt you in any way, and I understand that you don't feel the same way, but---you deserve to know--I- I--"
Wow wow wow
Wow wow wow
Wow yeah
Ginny's eyes widened. "You--what, Harry?" she said, her temper having cooled.
Harry took a deep breath. "I think--I know...I've fallen completely in love with you. And I'm not an expert on love or anything, but I just know that I could not live without you if I tried, which I won't, if you'll let me. And I know you deserve better than me, but you should just know that I've never been so continuously happy than when I am with you."
Silence.
'Cause you make me feel wild
You touch my inner smile
Harry continued, "I love that you're so clumsy, yet graceful at the same time. I love the way you laugh, and how you laugh at things that aren't even that funny. I love you when you're angry, especially when you're angry with me. I love your wild red hair and your smile and I love you for everything you do--your mistakes included. I don't know how I came to love you so quickly, but I would not have it any other way, even if you do not love me back." Ginny was still silent, so he stood up to leave.
Ginny shivered at this absence of his hand on her shoulder. "When did you become so wise?" she asked, the slightest hint of humor in her voice.
You got me in the mood
Harry turned back to face her with a grin on his face. "Well--someone once told me that sometimes you just need a slap in the face and then knocked some sense into me."
The tears finally began to fall down Ginny's face. Concerned, Harry sat down next to her and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm sorry, Ginny, I didn't mean to hurt you, I just--"
So come on and make your rule
"Shut up! Ha, I knew the idiot Potter had to return at some point," The youngest Weasley was glaring as she pushed Harry off of her, but there was mirth in the corners of her eyes.
"What?"
"I have loved you for years, you fool! At first it was just an infatuation, but now I truly and purely love you, and I don't think I could ever love anyone else."
And touch my inner smile
"Oh."
"If this is just some sick joke, Potter---" but Ginny was cut off by Harry's soft lips on hers. It wasn't quite a kiss, for Harry's lips were merely brushing Ginny's, but the simple motion conveyed more than any of their words ever could.
Come get my inner smile
They both parted their lips slightly as Ginny leaned into the kiss, and it seemed that every ounce of each other's flesh had molded together.
Smile
Smile
Yeah yeah
Harry pulled away for just a second. "Thank you, Ginny," he whispered.
Sometimes I need to be alone
There are times I need for you to phone
Sometimes you make me feel so high
Her response was to delicately; as if he were made of porcelain, place a hand on his smooth cheek. She proceeded to kiss the mesmerizing emerald pools of light that were his eyes, then the tip of his nose, then after an eternity moved to Harry's lips as he lowered his eyelids slightly--
"Ginny, Mum's looking for--urggh! What on earth--how--why--what???"
Harry did not dare meet his friend's eyes and instead said shakily, "Hi Ron."
There's times I ask myself why
"Inner Smile" by Texas (my favorite song from my favorite movie Bend it Like Beckham!
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A/N: Whew! That chapter took forEVER to write (I'm not used to writing mushiness, so I hope it wasn't too horrible.) I am terribly sorry for the long delay. I had a bad case of writer's block and got really busy with schoolwork and such.
Also, I've gotten a couple of complaints about the song lyrics. The reason I insert them is that music is such an important thing to me--I associate everyone and everything with some form of music. If they are too confusing, please let me know in your review, but it may be a little difficult for me to change my writing style at this point in the story.
We are nearing the end of the story; the next chapter will most likely be the last. After that, what else I write will depend on the responses I receive in reviews.
PLEASE review. I welcome any comments and criticisms.
Much love as always,
India