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Chapter Six: Itchy the Snitch

Sirius was impossibly hyper following Harry's placement as Seeker and Draco's as Chaser. He even acted courteously towards Severus during that time, which was something unheard of in all of the years that the two men had known each other. ("Remus," Snape remarked one night in hushed tones, "this behavior has to stop! A rude Sirius I can deal with, but this...this...it's unnatural!" Remus was trying his hardest not to laugh. "He's just happy that Harry's on the Quidditch team, Sev. Give him your worst possible insult. Turn his hair into green and silver snakes, and I'm sure everything will be back to normal.")

In other news, a vault at Gringotts had been broken into, and Harry was fairly sure it was the one Hagrid had emptied when he had taken Harry into Diagon Alley for his school supplies. "All that was in there was a grubby little package about so big," Harry made a fist. "Bets on it being inside Hogwarts?"

Hermione smiled. "Bets on it being on the third floor right hand corridor?"

Draco raised an eyebrow. "I'll give you 100:1 odds."

Harry eyed the blonde suspiciously. "We wouldn't happen to be betting that we're wrong by any chance?"

"Damn."

That same night, Shiva started teaching Harry, Draco, and Hermione the fine art of meditation. The Hindu god was possessing Rumples and sitting on a small table in Remus' and Sirius' parlor explaining the reasoning behind the training to the two men and the three children. "Meditation sharpens the control that wizards and witches have over their powers and helps them to develop any unique gifts which they might have. It helps to provide clarity of thought during crisis and reigns in tempers during combat. Remember, anger only gives an edge in battle if it is controlled. (Remus discretely jabbed Sirius in the ribs with his elbow. Sirius not-so-discretely yelped.) Now, close your eyes and focus on your breathing..."

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The first Quidditch match of the season was, of course, Gryffindor versus Slytherin and was set for next Friday. Draco suspected 'the old coot' –translation being Dumbledore-of doing this deliberately in an attempt to break the fragile inter-house truce that had been forged between the first years. Harry was somewhat iffy on the subject. Hermione was muttering about boys and conspiracy theories and stupid games.

The whole point became moot once Harry and Draco met the Weasley twins. They were, in a word, awesome. As soon as Harry came within five feet of them, he immediately felt a fierce battle of wills begin for possession of Rumples between Ate and Loki, both apparently recognizing two kindred spirits in their vicinity. Harry finally had to exert his will and make them take five minute turns before he could pay proper attention to the conversation. By then, both the twins and Ron had noticed the marks on his hands and arms, and the two older Weasleys knew exactly what it meant.

Draco glanced over at Harry for a moment. "Maybe we should go somewhere more private?" Harry nodded, and the twins led them to an abandoned classroom. They set charms on the doors and windows to prevent eavesdroppers, and Harry brought out his rubber mouse.

"Harry, what does Rumples have to do with anything?" Ron, as usual, was clueless.

BEHOLD LOKI!!! PURVEYOR OF CHAOS!!! MASTER OF MAYHEM!!! SEE ME MORTALS AND mmmphh!!!

"Draco, do you really think it's a good idea to make him mad?" Harry asked. The blond had Rumples' mouth pinched shut between one elegant thumb and forefinger. "I know he only looks like a squeak-toy, but remember the monkeys?" Loki was squinting in what was presumably an aggressive manner.

Fred-or George-looked impressed. "So you were the one responsible for the play?"

"That was top notch!"

"First-rate."

"Wonderful showmanship."

"He did it in his sleep," Draco bragged as he removed his hand from Rumples mouth. "I mean that literally."

"The mouse was talking..." Ron noted. Harry reached over and patted him on the head. "It was using capital letters and a bold-faced type set..." George-or Fred-cuffed him. "Thank you, grandma."

"I'm a summoner." Harry said simply.

BEHOLD ATE!!! PURVEYOR OF CHAOS!!! MISTRESS OF MAYmmmph!!!

"Loki already did that," Draco pointed out.

Ate sulked.

The five boys talked for a while longer about Harry's abilities, the upcoming match, and the inter-house rivalries. It was agreed that the match wouldn't break the bonds between the houses, but neither team would be expected to go easy on the other. However, Ron still couldn't understand Harry's abilities until approximately five days, three hours, forty two minutes and twenty eight seconds later when:

"Harry, are you a summoner?"

"Yes, Ron." (Sound of head hitting large, solid object. Possibly a wall.)

"Did that hurt?"

"Why don't you try it and see?" (Sound of head hitting large, solid object. Possibly a wall.) "Are you always this literal?"

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The Slytherin Quidditch team seemed to be composed almost entirely of giants with the notable exceptions of Harry and Draco. There were two third year, gorilla-shaped Beaters named Derrick and Bole. The Keeper was a gangly looking girl named Bletchley with streaks of purple in her hair. Aside from Draco, the Chasers were Marcus Flint and Adrian Pucey. Harry, of course, was the Seeker.

The Slytherin team had two distinct advantages over the Gryffindor team this year. The most notable was that upon hearing of Draco's placement on the team, Lucius Malfoy had donated an entire line of Nimbus 2000's. There was no way for the Gryffindors to keep up with them. (The elder Malfoy was currently in the stands sitting with Severus and Sirius-Remus was strategically placed between the two men to keep them from each others throats should the Quidditch match get rough.) The second was that Draco and Harry were first years on a house Quidditch team playing their first game. They were likely to be either overestimated by their opponents or underestimated by them, and since both boys were Slytherins, they could use either situation to their advantage.

Marcus Flint was finishing up his pep talk in the dressing room while Harry and Draco waited nervously to play-pep talk here means "If you lose, I'll skin you alive and feed you to Snape with a piece of pomegranate." Outside, they could hear the crowd cheering, possibly for blood. (The boys shared a look that said everything. Basically: My last will and testament left a mint as the sole heir. Fix it for me, will you? --- It looses something in the translation.)

Lee Jordan's magically amplified voice announced the Gryffindor team: "And here's the Gryffindor team led by Captain Oliver Wood! Chasers Angelina Johnson-rather attractive girl, that one. Just telling it like it is, Professor-Katie Bell, and Alicia Spinnet. Beaters Fred and George Weasley, and Seeker Penelope Clearwater." (Draco appeared to be calming himself by commenting on how much the Gryffindor robes clashed with the Weasley twins' hair. Harry was calming himself by wondering what in Tartarus Draco was doing thinking about clothing at a time like this.)

Madame Hooch's desire for a clean game was met with a wry snort by Wood and an evil smirk by Flint. Harry used the opportunity to flash a friendly smile to the Weasley twins and the Gryffindor seeker. Clearwater's surprised expression was priceless, but the twins just gave him a jaunty wave. "Ready to get your face bloodied up, Harry?" Fred-or George-asked.

"If it isn't too much trouble, could you aim for my midsection?" Harry shouted back. "I'd like to live to my next birthday, thanks!" The twins grinned and gave him a thumbs up.

Madame Hooch's whistle sounded, and the game was on.

"And it's Spinnet with the Quaffle! Spinnet to Bell, Bell to Spinnet, and THAT'S CHEATING!!!....well, an obviously SHADY interception by Pucey. Pucey to Flint, Flint to Malfoy...BLOODY HELL!!! Did you see that dodge?? And it's 10-0 Slytherin. Gryffindor, we have a problem..."

Harry was grinning as he circled the Quidditch pitch. Below him, Draco was giving the little lions the battle of a lifetime, and the blond looked absolutely in his element. Harry noticed that the Weasley twins were trying desperately to take him out of action, but they couldn't seem to make it past Derrick and Bole. He also noted that Penelope Clearwater was tailing him.

He spotted the snitch when the score was 160-30 Slytherin. Then his broom went haywire. It started bucking wildly in mid-air, completely out of control. When he was dangling by his hands and his grip started slipping, he knew he was in trouble...

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Remus, Severus, Sirius, and Lucius were staring open-mouthed as Harry's broom started to jerk like a bull with life-threatening hiccups. Then Lucius began chanting a counter-curse. The others joined him, their combined power making Harry's broom steady enough for him to cling to, but somehow failing to break the curse entirely...

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Draco circled near Harry for a moment. "It's Quirrel, isn't it?" he shouted. Harry nodded, and reached into his robes for something. Draco caught it easily.

Rumples. This was going to be good.

The blond was off in a flash; he flew just close enough to the teachers' box to discretely toss the squeak toy in. He noticed that four pairs of eyes followed him for the briefest of moments but didn't blink, nor did the four men stop chanting. But they all broke out into almost identical vindictive grins–well, on Severus and Lucius it was more evil smirks.

The next thing heard from the teachers' box was, "Somebody help him! He's drowning!!"

Professor Quirrel was encased in Houdini's underwater escape act, complete with hood, straight-jacket, and chains.

Remus eyed the squeak toy sitting in his hand with amusement. "Is there an impenetrable charm on the cage?" From his palm, the mouse seemed to wink.

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Harry managed to swing himself back up onto his broom with only a modicum of difficulty. His main worry was that Clearwater was at the other end of the field chasing the snitch. He shot after her, straight through a crowd of Chasers and Beaters and into a circle of the Ravenclaw stands. He caught up to her weaving between the Slytherin goal posts, and the snitch shot first upward then straight down.

Clearwater crashed. Harry used his feet as a lever and leveled out his broom as the last second, balancing on the handle like a surfboard, but as he reached for the snitch, the broom overbalanced and sent him sprawling forward onto the grass.

Oh Merlin, he thought distantly as he felt something choking him in the back of his mouth, Draco is never going to let me live this down. Sure enough, two coughs later the snitch appeared in his palms. From the stands, Lee Jordan could be heard: "POTTER HAS THE SNITCH!!! IT'S SLYTHERIN 380:90, AND POTTER HAS THE SNITCH! PROFESSOR IS THAT REALLY LEGAL?!" It was.

The next thing Harry knew, Draco was beside him, and the blond was very obviously fighting back a slew of comments about Harry's catch. In fact, he was actually biting his lip. "Go on, Draco," Harry said kindly. "I know you want to."

Fortunately, the next five minutes of dialogue was too fast to be coherent.

Draco was eventually distracted by the Gryffindors. The entire house, including Professor McGonagall, was now dressed in muggle cheerleading costumes in Slytherin colors. Draco became rapidly coherent. "Who has possession of Rumples?"

Harry pointed out Dumbledore-who appeared to be wearing four-inch heels and a large amount of make-up-as if it were self-explanatory. "Ate."

Remus, Sirius, Severus, and Lucius arrived with the errant squeak toy/goddess a few moments later. Harry was amused to note that the mouse was also dressed in a Slytherin cheerleading uniform, complete with pom-poms. "What happened to Quirrel?"  Harry asked up-front.

The pom-poms burst into ashes. "Dumbledork got him out of the cage before he drowned...no worries though. They still haven't figured out how to remove the straight jacket, and I put a permanent itching charm on his turban and his underwear!" Harry was disturbed to note that the pom-poms had reappeared in black.

"Are you alright, Harry?" Remus asked.

Harry grinned. "I just won my first Quidditch match by catching the snitch in my mouth. The Headmaster and the entire opposing team are dressed in cheerleading costumes, and there's a possessed squeak toy telling me it put a permanent itching charm on the underwear of someone who just tried to kill me! I can honestly say I've never felt better! Of course, that's entirely thanks to Draco and Ate."

Draco was blushing. "Now he gives me credit!" As an attempt at sounding annoyed, it failed miserably. "You're welcome."

Ate grinned. "I suppose now would be a good time to add that I also put a permanent itching charm in Dumbledork's underwear."

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First off, WOW!!! The review response for this chapter was amazing!!! I feel so loved! -Sniffle- Secondly, I've noticed that none of the reviews contained any suggestions for what Neville or Rumples might see in the Mirror of Erised. Ya'll trying to tell me something? No matter, I'll just revert to Plan B: three cans of Mountain Dew at three a.m. and a consultation with my cat. (Where did you think the Howler monkey with clogs came from?) Even without that, I still love knowing what you think, so keep those reviews coming! They're my funny-meter. :)

skittish: Thanks! Yep, they're still friends despite red's thick-headed tendencies (Hey! I think I just got a new nickname for the story!) As to the Harry/Ginny ship, beats me. Harry's not going to have any serious relationships until year six or seven anyway, but I suppose it mostly depends on how Ginny decides to voice herself in my head. (If that sounds weird, I apologize.) -Gives out hot fudge sundae-

Anon: I assume you're anonymous, but I'll answer anyway. It would be lovely if you could actually pick up potions for stuff, wouldn't it? I'd like a Polyjuice Potion, personally. Then I could make someone else take my tests. –Gives out hot fudge sundae-

Krcool: Thank you! Just remember, if there are any other deities you'd like to see, just drop me a line in a review, and I'll see if I can't pop them into the script somewhere. I'm always happy to oblige! -Gives out hot fudge sundae-

athenakitty: I love reading your reviews! They remind me of a soap opera! You've also managed to point out a few things that I'm going to have Sirius and Remus take care of over the summer holidays...hint...hint... -Gives out hot fudge sundae-

Lady FoxFire: Actually, strawberry sugar wafers are very yummy. Some even go so far as to say that they are the height of yumminess. These people have never tried chocolate. However, I give them an 8.5, even having tried and mainly subsisted upon chocolate for the majority of my life. As to the weirdness, um...thanks? :) -gives out hot fudge sundae-

Night-Owl123: Thanks for reviewing! -gives out hot fudge sundae-