Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything else that might belong to anyone else which I might accidentally mention. I like to think that I own the cat fur in my keyboard by reason that Snow obviously doesn't want it anymore, but since Snow owns me, and I own the keyboard, she must still own the fur in it...Wow. I just totally confused myself. I need more chocolate. Be warned-this is one of the rarely more serious chapters, meaning it actually has a plot that leads somewhere. (Hee-hee...you'll find that out in the Christmas Special! It's a separate piece I like to call: A Very Dursley Christmas.) Enjoy!
Chapter Eight: Flamel Nightgowns
Nicholas Flamel wasn't in the library, not that the three Slytherins expected to physically find him there. It was frustrating not to find him in any of the books they had looked through, though. Hermione, especially, was taking the lack of progress very hard.
"This is so stupid!!" she griped, slamming a large tome down on one of the tables. "He isn't in any of the modern texts, but we know he's not dead because Charon hasn't taken him over! He must be some sort of complete non-entity!! Bugger!"
"'Mione you swore!" Harry was impressed.
Draco was amused. "'Mione has a dark side!" The blond was practically singing.
"Anytime the two of you want to get back to reading, you can."
He also wasn't hiding in any nooks, crannies, or portraits around Hogwarts-although the portraits were still slightly miffed about talking to the three Slytherins after their cat-like sprint through the school grounds.
"There's really only one thing we can do," Draco said reasonably. "Christmas break is approaching, and we're all going home. Harry and I will search the Malfoy and Black libraries over the holidays, and you can ask your parents if they've ever heard about him."
"Draco, my parents are dentists, remember?"
"Muggles have heard of werewolves and vampires though," Harry pointed out. "Why not Nicholas Flamel?"
Hermione and Draco looked at each other. "Sometimes he makes so much sense that it scares me." The blond nodded.
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The three weeks before Christmas Break were fraught with interesting occurrences. Slytherin trounced Ravenclaw 270:30. (Harry caught the snitch in his hand this time, much to Draco's disappointment.) The prank war between Rumples, the Weasley Twins, and the Marauders (although only Rumples was aware of Sirius's and Remus's involvement) continued with hilarious results including a Slytherin Dance-a-thon, a spell that made all the Gryffindors' clothes comment on their fashion sense (courtesy of Ate), the Weasley twins as Oompa-Loompa Elvis impersonators (courtesy of the Marauders), and Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw temporarily bald, oiled, and Slytherin colored (courtesy of Harry and Draco-though only Severus knew who was responsible for that one).
Professor Quirrel seemed to have decided that the three Slytherins were a serious threat to his plans. His stuttering in DADA increased tenfold, making his lessons almost incomprehensible and decreasing the amount of notes the class had to take to less than half a page per three hours. Harry brought this up to Sirius and Remus one night after class:
"I think Quirrel might be planning something evil..." Harry paused at the look on his Godfathers' faces. "Okay, so I know he's planning something evil. What's he after anyway?"
Remus gave him a patient look. "You know we can't tell you that Harry, but it is very well protected. There's nothing to be concerned about."
"Despite Fluffy being bald," Sirius added with a grin. "Not that we think you had anything to do with that, Harry. But if you happen to know the spell that whoever did it used..." Padfoot winked.
Remus smiled at his mate. "You are about as subtle as a heart attack."
"I'd just feel better about the whole thing if you let one of my guardians possess something and put it down there with whatever it is that Quirrel's after," Harry wheedled. "Hades, for instance. I'd just love to see Quirrel try to get past Hades!"
Sirius blinked. "You know something, Moony...that's not a bad idea."
Remus nodded. "I'll call Albus, but you might want to avoid mentioning Quirrel as the reason behind your concern over the protections, Harry."
"Slytherin," Harry reminded them.
The werewolf threw a handful of green powder into the fireplace. "Headmaster Dumbledore's Office!" he shouted, then thrust his head into the flames.
While his head was gone, Harry leaned over to Sirius and whispered, "Nopilosus Totalus." Padfoot gave him an evil grin.
Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts, appeared in the living room attempting to discreetly scratch his posterior. Remus and Harry hid smiles in their hands. Sirius choked. "You wished to see me, my boy?" The old man's blue eyes were twinkling infernally.
Remus managed to control himself. "Harry's had an idea for a way to increase the protections on the third floor corridor. He believes that the current protections could use reinforcement."
"And what would lead you to believe that, Harry?" The old man said with a small condescending smile.
Now can I kill him? Ate asked in the back of his mind.
No! It was Odin who answered her. He's mine.
He's not either of yours at the moment! Harry interrupted. I'm still in school, and murder's a capital offense! Do you want me to go to Azkaban? Aloud he said, "It's actually very simple, sir. The attempted theft at Gringotts earlier this year, the curse on my broom during the Gryffindor/Slytherin match, and the troll in the dungeons on Halloween all add up to one inevitable conclusion: someone wants whatever is on the third floor badly enough to try and take on one of the most powerful wizards of all time to get to it. I just want to help, sir." Harry added softly.
The old man was an idiot. "What exactly do you want to do?"
"I can use one of my guardians to possess an item, and set them to protect whatever it is the person is after. Hades would be an especially good choice, since he can knock out people for long periods without killing them."
Not that I would if Turban Boy tried to take me on, the Hell god added mentally.
Harry hid a smirk.
Dumbledore smiled. "That's an excellent idea, Harry!" The old man pulled a lemon drop out of his pocket and transfigured it into a stuffed dog. "I trust that this will work well for your guardian to possess?"
"That's fine." Harry said simply. He had Ate possess Rumples, and then he placed Hades in the stuffed dog.
Harry kept his expression carefully neutral until Dumbledore had left, then he pulled up his sleeves. His arms were bare. "Ate, you are in Rumples, aren't you?"
"Yes." The mouse looked amused. "Why don't you possess something else?"
Harry put Loki in a quill and was relieved to see his tattoos appear. "Limit three with proof of purchase." Loki left the quill. "Whew! I haven't been this relieved since I realized I wouldn't be living in a cupboard anymore!" Harry heard two cups of tea hit the floor and shatter. "I shouldn't have said that," he said in a manner reminiscent of Hagrid.
Remus' voice was just a shade too calm. "Harry, what do you mean by living in a cupboard?" The werewolf's eyes were turning a fierce gold.
Harry ran a nervous hand through his hair and prepared himself to downplay his past to his Godfathers.
"The Dursleys made him sleep in the cupboard under the stairs until Hagrid came to take him to Hogwarts," Ate said. The goddess had fully manifested herself in the middle of the living room, her pale blue eyes shining gently down at her now glaring charge. "Don't look at me like that Harry. They need to know how those muggles treated you, so they can help you deal with it."
She sat down beside him on the couch and pulled him into her lap, tossing her raven curls over her shoulder as she did so. "I'm still mad at you, Ate," Harry mumbled against her neck.
"THAT'S ATE?!" Sirius and Remus appeared to be having synchronized heart attacks.
"I think they were expecting someone who looked more openly...insane," Harry tactfully whispered to the goddess. Ate was leaning back against the armrest and giggling. Harry's Godparent's had always been two of her favorite mortals-of course, Harry topped the list.
When the two Marauders stopped having seizures, Harry began to fill them in on his somewhat difficult childhood. Ate filled them in on the parts Harry tried to gloss over because he found them too difficult to talk about. By the end of it, the two men looked to be alternating between a need to murder the Dursleys and comfort their charge. Comfort won.
"Would you like some hot cocoa?" Remus asked.
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The next day found Harry, Draco, and Hermione once more in the library searching for the elusive Mr. Flamel. Specifically, Draco and Hermione were searching, and Harry was filling the two in on the added protection around whatever was on the
third floor. It was in this merry occupation that Ron and Neville found them.
"What 'cha doing?" Ron asked around a chocolate frog.
"Trying to find Flamel again," Hermione said shortly. "Now sit down and grab a book."
"Don't have to." If looks could kill, the red-head would have been food for Fluffy. "He's in my chocolate." Ron elaborated after hastily retreating behind Neville.
Draco picked up a nearby medical text and began flipping through it for remedies to head injuries. "And how long have you been seeing people in your chocolate?" the blond asked in what seemed to be a professional manner.
"More to the point," Harry added, "if there are people in your chocolate, why are you still eating it? I mean really, Ron...doesn't that seem a bit odd? Homicidal, perhaps?"
"Is there something you'd like to tell us?" Hermione chimed in. "Have you been having any unusual dreams or waking up in different parts of the castle? Are there blank spaces in your memory that you can't account for?" Neville was carefully trying to extricate himself from Ron's grasp.
"I'm not crazy!" Ron shouted, forgetting he was in the middle of the library. Later-after Madame Pince had thrown him out-Ron finally managed to explain that Flamel was actually on the back of the trading cards for chocolate frogs. "He's Dumbledore's alchemy partner."
"So there aren't actually people in your chocolate?" Neville asked.
"Just frogs."
"Well that's all right then."
Meanwhile, Hermione was rushing back into the library only to return with an oversized tome. She flipped it open to a page, pointing excitedly. "Nicholas Flamel is widely acclaimed for his invention of the Flamel nightgown, a pink lacy nightgown for men that can be worn with or without a head cap. He's alsothe only known maker of the Sorcerer's Stone, which can turn any metal into gold, make the drinker immortal, cure any disease, and also wards off rabid zebras."
"I suppose Quirrel wants to go on safari then," Ron supplied. Hermione beaned him with the tome.
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In another part of the castle,four men and one woman were having a conference. Two of the men were filling the other three in on the history of a certain boy wizard and were somewhat unsurprised when things in the room began to smoke and shatter. At the end of the recitation, five steely-eyed adults sat in a thoughtful silence.
One spoke: "It would be easier to deny culpability if we arranged everything separately."
"It would also allow for the element of surprise."
It was agreed to by all. The guilty parties would pay, incriminating pictures would be taken, and one boy wizard would awaken to a very merry Christmas indeed.
"This concludes the first meeting of Revenge Inc." (Sound of gavel banging) "Mooonyyy!!! Give it baaacckk!!!"
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I'm not entirely sure if I will be able to update over the week of Thanksgiving, but if I do update, it won't be Chapter Nine that comes out next. The next part in the series is called A Very Dursley Christmas, but it doesn't fit in as an actual chapter in the story, so I'm going to be posting it separately. Anyway, the seriousness is over for a while, so everyone can breathe a long sigh of relief. (Sorry, but it had to be done. Think of the poor little plot folks! What do you mean I don't have one?!) A big thank you to all of my reviewers!
Lady FoxFire: Your secret is safe with me! I've never tried a meatball sub, though...I take it they're good? -Gives out heated foot long meatball sub with extra cheese and medium Pepsi-
Night-Owl123: Thank you! Yes...mmmm....chocolate.... –Gives out chocolate truffles-
Otspock: Thanks! I hope you like this chapter, too! -Gives out chocolate truffles-
nogoalielikeme: Actually, it's ma'am, but if you really want some...okay! -Gives out chocolate cake and chocolate truffles- Two for the price of one! ;)
athenakitty: Harry is capable of summoning any god or goddess from any religion or mythology around the world, so yes to the first question. As to the second, Fluffy is a Cerberus, which are the dogs that guard the gates to the underworld in Greek mythology. To Persephone, this makes Fluffy something of an escaped pet. For the third question: the hair removal spell is basically the same as shaving someone; the hair will grow back on it's own eventually-unless you're one of those unlucky people who shaves their head, and the hair never grows back. The fourth question, alternately yes and no. (Fortunately Remus will have pictures of that episode in Sirius's life-Moony is a Marauder after all!) As to the fifth, you'll just have to wait for A Very Dursley Christmas and probably a section of Chapter Nine to find that part out. :) Good questions, though- as always. –Gives out chocolate truffles-
Darak: A fair enough definition, although a polite flame wouldn't be ill received be me either. I always like to know what people don't like, even if they fail to tell me how they would like for me to fix it. –Gives out chocolate truffles-
CuriousKitty: You have no idea how many puns I could make from your name and that review. Must...hold back...temptation... Okay, it's over. Thank you, though! -Gives out chocolate truffles and oxygen mask-
gaul1: Thanks. I'm not sure if Harry's the type to alter someone else's...er...equipment, but I wouldn't put it past anyone else involved! -Gives out chocolate truffles-