by Sara Jaye
Random fluffy/angsty KaedexSai Christmas ficlet. Not much else to say here. :D
(Angelic Layer isn't mine, I'm just borrowing the characters for a while.)
-
It's never easy to visit her grave. But this time of year is always the hardest.
It's Christmas Eve. I slowly approach her grave, brushing the snowflakes away from my face. Tonight isn't the best night to be walking about; it's snowing pretty hard. I don't care, though. I always, always visit her on Christmas no matter what.
She loved Christmas. Even more, she loved the snow. Every year, she would look out the window to see if it had snowed on Christmas Day...if it had, her face would light up and she would drag me outside to play in it. We played until our toes felt like they were going to freeze off, but we never minded the cold. We were together, having fun. That was what mattered.
After her death, the snow stopped being fun.
Christmas wasn't the same anymore either.
I kneel at the headstone, tracing my gloved fingertip over the inscription. For a moment, I try to pretend it's not her name I'm seeing, it's not her grave I'm visiting.
It doesn't work.
It never works.
"Merry Christmas," I whisper. "I wish you were here...I miss you."
Tears sting my eyes; I fight back the urge to let them fall. She wouldn't want me to cry.
"I love you," I whisper.
Just then, I hear soft footsteps behind me.
"Sai?"
I turn around to see my companion standing there. She takes off her glasses for a moment, to wipe the light dusting of snow off the lenses.
"Kaede."
"How are you doing?" she asks. I stand up, still forcing myself not to cry.
"It gets harder every year," I say quietly.
"I know." She closes her hand around mine, squeezing tightly. "I feel the same way when I visit my mother's grave...it's always going to be hard, knowing they're gone," she whispers.
"Especially around Christmas." I smile sadly. "She shouldn't be there, Kaede...she should be playing in the snow, enjoying the holidays like she always did."
"I know, Sai." She releases my hand, only to wrap her arms around me and rest her head on my shoulder. "It wasn't fair, that she was taken from you so soon..." She closes her eyes. "From what you told me, she was a wonderful person..."
"You two would have gotten along very well," I say, my arm sliding around her waist. Silence follows as I stare at the grave once more.
"It just doesn't seem fair," I finally say.
"It doesn't...but it's not as though she's completely missing out on everything," Kaede says, her hand closing over mine once more and squeezing. "She's here in spirit, Sai, and she always will be as long as you keep her memory alive."
"...You're right," I say. "Her body may be in the ground, but her spirit is still near me."
"That's right."
I sigh.
"I still miss her, though."
Kaede doesn't say anything, just tightens her hold a little.
After another silence, she yawns a little.
"Perhaps we should go back to your house now," I say.
"It is getting late," she says.
"Just give me a moment." I take a small angel charm from my pocket and drape its cord over one of the headstone's peaks.
An angel for an angel.
"Merry Christmas, Rin," I whisper once more, then turn back to Kaede. She smiles, takes my hand, and we leave the cemetery.
"Feeling any better?" she asks.
"Yes, actually." I actually smile-a rarity for me. "Thank you for being here with me."
"You don't need to thank me," she says. "I could never let you go through this alone on Christmas Eve."
"Kaede..."
"Merry Christmas, Sai."
"Merry Christmas, Kaede."
We walk in silence the rest of the way. No words are needed.
I have two angels this Christmas.
One watching over me from above, and another to stand by my side on Earth.
-End-
Merry Christmas, everyone! :D