August 4th
He went home yesterday. It's been five days since that morning. He just sort of turned off, like someone flipped a switch. I don't think I've ever been more terrified. Even during the Eva Wars, I knew that that somehow the Eva would protect him. It was almost like it loved him. But this time, there was nothing like that to help him. All I could do was hold his head up and call an ambulance. I felt so helpless. I suppose he and his mother will be thanking the doctors for doing such a wonderful job, or maybe the ambulance driver for going so fast. But none of them knew him. They just did their jobs. To them, he was just another piece of that day - that day just a piece of their careers. But I was the one who was scared. I was the one who slept in a chair in that noisy waiting room so I'd be the first to hear how he was. I'm the one who wanted to save him. I'm sorry, Shinji.
-Asuka Langley Soryu
August 5th
He wasn't at school today. I tried to concentrate, but it was useless. In the end I faked a stomach-ache, but I threw up for real. The nurse sent me home after that. I've been wondering what caused that to happen. No, I haven't. I snuck out to see him after my mother said I couldn't because I was sent home. He seemed fine, though a little lethargic. Yui said it was partly the sedatives and partly just being tired from everything. We talked for a long time, but he never said anything about what happened that morning, or the night before. I wonder if he even remembers. If that's the case, I won't ask him about it. He needs someone whom he can depend on when he really needs them. Besides, if he did forget, it must not have meant much to him. By the time I got home, everyone was asleep. My window was still open, even though a few things in my room had been moved. My mother never said anything about my leaving.
-Asuka Langley Soryu
August 6th
I decided to start keeping a diary. Or a journal, for a guy. Well, whatever it is, I'm going to write things in it that I want to remember. Now I want to remember.
Asuka came over yesterday. She sat on my bed the whole afternoon, just talking with me. It really cheered me up. I hadn't seen her since that morning I collapsed. I only remember what I think were hallucinations from that day. The doctor said that I was lucky to be here. Apparently Asuka stayed the whole night in waiting room alone, sleeping in a chair with a blanket wrapped around her. I guess that night she kissed me was real, after all. She never said anything about it. I wonder if she meant it. I guess I won't say anything to her about it. After all, if she didn't mean it, she's probably hoping that I forgot. I don't want to force her to tell me that it was all just a mistake. I want to thank her for that morning, but she'd probably say something like: "Of course I called the paramedics! I could have gone to jail if I hadn't!" I guess I won't bother.
-Shinji Ikari
------------------------------------------------
His eyes slowly cracked open to the gentle wash of morning light pouring in through the window. The air conditioner hummed on, drowning out any noises that dare disturb him. 'It's Sunday...' He smiled as he wallowed in the thought. 'Nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no reason to get up.' The telephone rang, like a crying baby that demanded attention. 'Mom will get that,' he smiled. A second ring. A third. "Mom's at work," he moaned pitifully as he got to his feet. A fourth ring. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." he said in a groggy voice. He had just opened his door when it rang a fifth time. He made his way to the wall and picked up the phone. "Ikari house," he tried to sound awake. No answer. "Hello?" It clicked a few times, then it was just the dialtone. "Oh well." He put the phone back and turned to walk back to his room. The phone blared again. He immediately picked it up, irritated that he had been made to get out of bed. "Hello?"
"Shinji! Thank God." It was Misato. "Get dressed. I'm taking you to NERV."
"Huh? Why?" He was not in the mood for confusing things this early.
"They found Unit 01." Her voice was flat. Shinji did not know how to reply.
"W-uh, um... what? When?" He stammered.
"Two days ago. Ritsuko just found out. She called from NERV right before I called you. She's not sure, but she thinks they found 2 units from the Eva Series, too." She paused. "Shinji, if this is true..."
"I know." He didn't want to hear her finish. They hung in silence for a few seconds.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Click. He set the phone back on the wall.
'It's all starting over.' He could barely force himself to believe it. 'I thought... I fixed everything.'
'You did.' It was Rei in his head. 'But you have to fix it again.'
'How? Am I supposed to pilot Eva again?'
'Do you want to pilot it?'
'Of course not!' He wondered if that was really the truth. He had done it for so long, and it ended so abruptly. Maybe he had grown to enjoy it. Maybe he had grown to miss it.
'You have to.'
'Why?'
'Because it's the only way. You're the only one who can fix it.'
'I know that...'
'Help me, Shinji.'
'How? How do I help you?'
'You have to hide me.'
'Hide you? Why? From whom?'
'Help me, Shinji.' Her voice was weakening.
'Where are you?'
'You know... where.'
'No, I don't know where! Tell me where you are!' No response.
"What am I supposed to do?!" He slammed his fist hard against the kitchen floor. He heard a splash as his hand connected. He looked down at the floor. There was no floor. Instead he was sitting in a puddle of orange liquid. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head furiously. "This isn't real, this isn't real..." he repeated over and over to himself. He finally stopped and opened his eyes. He swallowed hard as he cautiously looked down at the floor. Beige tile, the same as always. His hand was dry, too. He forced a smile in an attempt to shrug it off. Just then someone started frantically beating on the door.
"Shinji! Come on, let's go!" It was Misato.
'Already?' He looked up at the clock above the door. It had been twenty minutes since she had called.
"Hurry up! This is serious!" She called again.
"I'm coming!" He assured her. He bolted back to his room, quickly swapped shirts and was in the hallway before she could knock again. Without a word, he locked the door behind him and they both sprinted for her car. He threw the passenger door open and sat down, then pulled the door closed just as the car started backing up.
"We're picking up Asuka next. You'll have to squeeze in the back." The car was designed for only two people, but there was just enough room in the back to lay down curled in a ball. He stared silently at the road ahead.
"Will I have to pilot it again?" He asked quietly.
"...I don't know. But if you do, we won't let them use us like..." she paused. "Like the last time. Your father's been reasigned. He's Fuyutsuki's second-in-command now. I'm not sure if I trust either of them..."
"I take my orders from you." He interrupted. Misato shot him a surprised look. "Whatever you decide is what I'll do."
"Shinji..." she trailed off. She had nothing to say, anyway. They rode in silence to Asuka's, who gave her usual strong opinion as soon as she got in. Once she calmed down, however, everyone was silent the rest of the way. It was like they had so much to say that they didn't know what to say. After what seemed like hours going down that elevator, they finally arrived. Asuka and Misato immediately bolted out, leaving Shinji behind to writh his way out of the back. When he had almost given up, someone opened the passenger door. He looked up to see a familiar red-head grinning at him.
"Having some trouble?" She asked playfully. Her demeanor completely contrasted against the larger issue at hand.
"A little," he grunted, still trying to free himself. She reached down and flipped the seat forward. She winked at him as she turned and walked away. He hesitated for a moment, then finally broke free and rejoined two women.
"Shinji, Asuka, there was an accident here yesterday." Misato stared at the floor as she spoke. The two looked up at her with anxious confusion. "They were running some tests on Unit 01. Rei was piloting it. For no apparent reason, it suddenly went berserk. They cut the cable and it switched to its internal battery. I guess she panicked and ejected the plug. The Eva was all over the place, and it..." Misato paused as a tear dripped to the floor. "It stepped on the plug. Guys, Rei's..." She burst into tears before she could finish.
"No... no..." was all Asuka could say. She tried fighting back the tears. Shinji could only stare at the floor.
'No more clones...' He shook his head. 'Even if their were more, it wouldn't be the same Rei.'
"Everyone is trying to block it out so they can function," Misato had almost stopped crying. "Try not to mention anything about it, okay?" The two children barely managed to nod. "It'd be best if you didn't walk in crying, either." She forced a smile.
They swiped their cards and walked through the doors leading into NERV. Ritsuko stood directly in front of them. "It's about time. Let's go."
He went home yesterday. It's been five days since that morning. He just sort of turned off, like someone flipped a switch. I don't think I've ever been more terrified. Even during the Eva Wars, I knew that that somehow the Eva would protect him. It was almost like it loved him. But this time, there was nothing like that to help him. All I could do was hold his head up and call an ambulance. I felt so helpless. I suppose he and his mother will be thanking the doctors for doing such a wonderful job, or maybe the ambulance driver for going so fast. But none of them knew him. They just did their jobs. To them, he was just another piece of that day - that day just a piece of their careers. But I was the one who was scared. I was the one who slept in a chair in that noisy waiting room so I'd be the first to hear how he was. I'm the one who wanted to save him. I'm sorry, Shinji.
-Asuka Langley Soryu
August 5th
He wasn't at school today. I tried to concentrate, but it was useless. In the end I faked a stomach-ache, but I threw up for real. The nurse sent me home after that. I've been wondering what caused that to happen. No, I haven't. I snuck out to see him after my mother said I couldn't because I was sent home. He seemed fine, though a little lethargic. Yui said it was partly the sedatives and partly just being tired from everything. We talked for a long time, but he never said anything about what happened that morning, or the night before. I wonder if he even remembers. If that's the case, I won't ask him about it. He needs someone whom he can depend on when he really needs them. Besides, if he did forget, it must not have meant much to him. By the time I got home, everyone was asleep. My window was still open, even though a few things in my room had been moved. My mother never said anything about my leaving.
-Asuka Langley Soryu
August 6th
I decided to start keeping a diary. Or a journal, for a guy. Well, whatever it is, I'm going to write things in it that I want to remember. Now I want to remember.
Asuka came over yesterday. She sat on my bed the whole afternoon, just talking with me. It really cheered me up. I hadn't seen her since that morning I collapsed. I only remember what I think were hallucinations from that day. The doctor said that I was lucky to be here. Apparently Asuka stayed the whole night in waiting room alone, sleeping in a chair with a blanket wrapped around her. I guess that night she kissed me was real, after all. She never said anything about it. I wonder if she meant it. I guess I won't say anything to her about it. After all, if she didn't mean it, she's probably hoping that I forgot. I don't want to force her to tell me that it was all just a mistake. I want to thank her for that morning, but she'd probably say something like: "Of course I called the paramedics! I could have gone to jail if I hadn't!" I guess I won't bother.
-Shinji Ikari
------------------------------------------------
His eyes slowly cracked open to the gentle wash of morning light pouring in through the window. The air conditioner hummed on, drowning out any noises that dare disturb him. 'It's Sunday...' He smiled as he wallowed in the thought. 'Nowhere to go, nothing to do, and no reason to get up.' The telephone rang, like a crying baby that demanded attention. 'Mom will get that,' he smiled. A second ring. A third. "Mom's at work," he moaned pitifully as he got to his feet. A fourth ring. "Yeah, yeah, yeah..." he said in a groggy voice. He had just opened his door when it rang a fifth time. He made his way to the wall and picked up the phone. "Ikari house," he tried to sound awake. No answer. "Hello?" It clicked a few times, then it was just the dialtone. "Oh well." He put the phone back and turned to walk back to his room. The phone blared again. He immediately picked it up, irritated that he had been made to get out of bed. "Hello?"
"Shinji! Thank God." It was Misato. "Get dressed. I'm taking you to NERV."
"Huh? Why?" He was not in the mood for confusing things this early.
"They found Unit 01." Her voice was flat. Shinji did not know how to reply.
"W-uh, um... what? When?" He stammered.
"Two days ago. Ritsuko just found out. She called from NERV right before I called you. She's not sure, but she thinks they found 2 units from the Eva Series, too." She paused. "Shinji, if this is true..."
"I know." He didn't want to hear her finish. They hung in silence for a few seconds.
"I'll be there in fifteen minutes." Click. He set the phone back on the wall.
'It's all starting over.' He could barely force himself to believe it. 'I thought... I fixed everything.'
'You did.' It was Rei in his head. 'But you have to fix it again.'
'How? Am I supposed to pilot Eva again?'
'Do you want to pilot it?'
'Of course not!' He wondered if that was really the truth. He had done it for so long, and it ended so abruptly. Maybe he had grown to enjoy it. Maybe he had grown to miss it.
'You have to.'
'Why?'
'Because it's the only way. You're the only one who can fix it.'
'I know that...'
'Help me, Shinji.'
'How? How do I help you?'
'You have to hide me.'
'Hide you? Why? From whom?'
'Help me, Shinji.' Her voice was weakening.
'Where are you?'
'You know... where.'
'No, I don't know where! Tell me where you are!' No response.
"What am I supposed to do?!" He slammed his fist hard against the kitchen floor. He heard a splash as his hand connected. He looked down at the floor. There was no floor. Instead he was sitting in a puddle of orange liquid. He squeezed his eyes shut and shook his head furiously. "This isn't real, this isn't real..." he repeated over and over to himself. He finally stopped and opened his eyes. He swallowed hard as he cautiously looked down at the floor. Beige tile, the same as always. His hand was dry, too. He forced a smile in an attempt to shrug it off. Just then someone started frantically beating on the door.
"Shinji! Come on, let's go!" It was Misato.
'Already?' He looked up at the clock above the door. It had been twenty minutes since she had called.
"Hurry up! This is serious!" She called again.
"I'm coming!" He assured her. He bolted back to his room, quickly swapped shirts and was in the hallway before she could knock again. Without a word, he locked the door behind him and they both sprinted for her car. He threw the passenger door open and sat down, then pulled the door closed just as the car started backing up.
"We're picking up Asuka next. You'll have to squeeze in the back." The car was designed for only two people, but there was just enough room in the back to lay down curled in a ball. He stared silently at the road ahead.
"Will I have to pilot it again?" He asked quietly.
"...I don't know. But if you do, we won't let them use us like..." she paused. "Like the last time. Your father's been reasigned. He's Fuyutsuki's second-in-command now. I'm not sure if I trust either of them..."
"I take my orders from you." He interrupted. Misato shot him a surprised look. "Whatever you decide is what I'll do."
"Shinji..." she trailed off. She had nothing to say, anyway. They rode in silence to Asuka's, who gave her usual strong opinion as soon as she got in. Once she calmed down, however, everyone was silent the rest of the way. It was like they had so much to say that they didn't know what to say. After what seemed like hours going down that elevator, they finally arrived. Asuka and Misato immediately bolted out, leaving Shinji behind to writh his way out of the back. When he had almost given up, someone opened the passenger door. He looked up to see a familiar red-head grinning at him.
"Having some trouble?" She asked playfully. Her demeanor completely contrasted against the larger issue at hand.
"A little," he grunted, still trying to free himself. She reached down and flipped the seat forward. She winked at him as she turned and walked away. He hesitated for a moment, then finally broke free and rejoined two women.
"Shinji, Asuka, there was an accident here yesterday." Misato stared at the floor as she spoke. The two looked up at her with anxious confusion. "They were running some tests on Unit 01. Rei was piloting it. For no apparent reason, it suddenly went berserk. They cut the cable and it switched to its internal battery. I guess she panicked and ejected the plug. The Eva was all over the place, and it..." Misato paused as a tear dripped to the floor. "It stepped on the plug. Guys, Rei's..." She burst into tears before she could finish.
"No... no..." was all Asuka could say. She tried fighting back the tears. Shinji could only stare at the floor.
'No more clones...' He shook his head. 'Even if their were more, it wouldn't be the same Rei.'
"Everyone is trying to block it out so they can function," Misato had almost stopped crying. "Try not to mention anything about it, okay?" The two children barely managed to nod. "It'd be best if you didn't walk in crying, either." She forced a smile.
They swiped their cards and walked through the doors leading into NERV. Ritsuko stood directly in front of them. "It's about time. Let's go."