It Hardly Hurts At All

by Archangel Arden

She had spent most of the summer in her room, hardly moving from this spot, waiting for the summer days to fade and autumn to come, bringing weather more to her liking."

It's my first summer since you told me that we're over.

It's my first summer since you went away.

But don't go thinking there's a chip upon my shoulder.

Cause I assure you everything's O.K.

As I'm sitting on top of the world.

Ginny Weasley looked out the window with a sad smile on her face, her fingers firmly grasped around a small leather necklace. Outside it was a warm and sunny mid-summer day, the total opposite of how she felt inside. She could hear Ron and Harry laughing as they were playing Quidditch in the back yard, and her mother yelling at Fred and George downstairs.

She had spent most of the summer in her room, hardly moving from this spot, waiting for the summer days to fade and autumn to come, bringing weather more to her liking. But she also wished for the summer days to linger, because when summer was over she was going back to school.

She dreaded the thought of that, of going back, of seeing him. Dreaded the day she had to look upon him again, knowing he was hers no more, that he belonged to someone else now. That he would never again hold her hand in his, and she would never again feel the soft touch of his lips, nor the gentleness of his caresses.

Cause I'm just going crazy,

I'm just climbing up the wall.

I just cry myself to sleep at night,

Wondering why you never call.

You were only all I dreamed of,

And the only one I want.

So why should I feel bad about it,

No it hardly hurts at all.

Draco Malfoy had given her the necklace she was grasping so tightly, and had stolen her heart in the process. For three months they had been sneaking around, and no matter how horrible he was to her brother and to Harry, at the end of the day he was always kind to her.

Draco held her when she needed it, kissed her when she wanted him to, and listened to her when no one else seemed to have the time. Their time together had been brief, but their feelings had been real, and the strength of them unlike anything she had felt before. She had loved him with all her heart, and thought he loved her too.

Each time I see you I get shivers

And my hand shake.

And everytime I feel like such a fool.

But don't you worry if I stumble and

My voice breaks.

Cause I assure you everything is cool,

As I'm sitting on top of the world.

Cause I'm just going crazy,

I'm just climbing up the wall.

I just cry myself to sleep at night,

Wondering why you never called.

You were only all I dreamed of,

And the only one I want.

So why should I feel bad about it,

No it hardly hurts at all.

When she was with him she walked through the days with a smile on her face, and spent the nights in her lover's arms, watching the night sky as they talked about all the things that didn't matter in the world.

When they were together, nothing else mattered. Not what house they were in, nor whose side of the war they would one day fight on. They lived in the moment, until he took that moment away.

Maybe someday you will know what I mean.

Yeah, you may even fall apart.

Maybe you'll know how it feels when

Someone tears it apart, apart.

I'm just going crazy,

I'm just climbing up the wall.

I just cry myself to sleep at night,

Wondering why you never call.

You were only all I dreamed of,

And the only one I want.

So why should I feel bad about it,

No it hardly hurts at all.

So she spent her summer alone in her room, staring out the window trying to forget, yet wanting to remember. She wanted to forget how he betrayed her; how he told her it was a dream that had to end. Forget how he told her it had been fun, but all things had to come to and end. Forget how he smiled that cruel and emotionless smile as he walked away from her.

She wanted to remember the way his face lighted up when he walked towards her on that first real date. Remember his real laugh, the one only she had been allowed to hear. Remember the feel of his lips on hers, and his hands running down her back.

She still loved him, and though she didn't want to face him, to see him with someone else, she wanted to go back to school. She wanted to prove to him that she didn't need him. To prove she could move on, and that the power he may once have had over her was gone forever.

She would never be able to convince herself she was over him, for he would always have a place in her heart. But if she went back to school, then maybe she could convince him! And that would be enough.

I'm just climbing up the wall.

I just cry myself to sleep at night,

Wondering why you never call.

You were only all I dreamed of,

And the only one I want.

So why should I feel bad about it,

No it hardly hurts at all.

NOTES: Written as a Christmas ficlet for Leila (applecede at LJ). This is my first time writing het in over four years. I am a slash writer, but she wanted het for Christmas, so I gave it to her!

LYRICS: It Hardly Hurts At All by Maria Arredondo