Title: The Twelve Days of Christmas
By: Kibethan
Disclaimer: :snffs: Leave me alone! I don't own Gravitation! I wish I did, but I don't!
Summary: A better name for this would probably be "The Birds". Or "The People"...Oh Gods! The people!
Half-warning: No half-warning. I don't think there's anything in this chapter I need to warn you about.
TheEighth Day of Christmas
…On the eighth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Eight maids-a-milking
Seven swans-a-swimming
Six geese-a-laying
Five golden rings
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree…
Yesterday had been absolute hell. The geese would not leave him alone to the point of him actually having to ask Shuichi to lock them up in a room. Also, the cleaning never ended! Every time they cleaned something up, another mess was made.
It was like a never-ending job. He was almost positive that having kids would probably be easier than what he was currently going through.
On the upside, what he was going through wasn't going to last forever. According to Shuichi, there were only a few more days left. The only problem was, he was never sure anymore what to expect. He now had a golden ring to go on each finger –although he didn't always wear them like that- and more than enough birds to last him a lifetime.
Perhaps when all this is over he would open a bird shop. Yesterday, he had suggested that to Shuichi and needless to say Shuichi had flipped out. Shuichi had told him, yet again, that the birds were a gift to him and that if he got rid of them, it would be like him getting rid of a gift.
Of course, even Shuichi was starting to have a hard time keeping track of all the birds. Supposedly he was supposed to have fifty-four birds. He was sure that at one point in time he had received all the birds, but over the course of the days they had started to disappear.
Yuki had done a random count that morning and had come up short with only fifty birds. That meant that there were four birds missing. They had either managed to run away from this hell house or they had managed to die in the hell house, just to be found at a later date.
Yuki seriously, seriously hoped that it was the former. He wasn't sure what he would have done if he had stumbled upon a dead bird, especially one that had been chewed up (1). The cats that were hanging around their house hadn't gone away at all. In fact, they were still there in large numbers. The geese that Yuki had left outside the house yesterday had almost been eaten, but at the last minute, Shuichi had taken pity on them and let them inside, despite Yuki telling him not to.
That morning Yuki had woken up absolutely covered in bruises. The stupid geese beaks hurt. Shuichi had noticed and had immediately started apologizing, crying, saying that it was his entire fault.
Yuki just let him think that, because, in reality, it was true. He felt a little bit bad that Shuichi was crying, but one ache from a bruise and that guilt went right away. Yuki searched through the entire house and couldn't for the life of him find the ibuprofen, so he had sent Shuichi on a little errand to get some.
That had been over two hours ago. It didn't take that long to get ibuprofen and Yuki was starting to wonder where he was. Another French hen wandered into the room that Yuki was in. Yuki couldn't remember which one it was, or if it even had a name. After "Sanjuyontori" Shuichi had stopped naming them. There were just too many to keep track of. Yuki, for one, had been slightly thrilled that Shuichi had stopped naming them. It meant that Shuichi was starting to a little bit less attached to them.
Perhaps he was getting sick of having that many birds in his apartment? Yuki was just waiting for the humane society to be coming to his home any day now. He was just glad that his apartment wasn't a tiny one or else there might've been some complications with all the animals in it. As it were, there wasn't a whole lot of space left, but it wasn't like they were really packed to the gills.
Birds are generally small animals and as such they don't take up a whole lot of room. Well, they actually take up a lot of floor space, but they're not very tall so they're not up around your face where it would really bother you.
Finally, another hour later, Shuichi opened the door to their apartment, mindful of the cats that were attempting to get in and the birds that were attempting to get out.
"What took you so long?" Yuki immediately interrogated Shuichi.
"I was out meeting Ryuichi. He's my secret lover and we were going at it having wild sex." Shuichi explained calmly. Yuki's jaw dropped.
"Really?" he asked incredulously.
"Of course not, Yuki! You know that you're the only one for me! I would never go after Sakuma-san! He's Tatsuha's!" Shuichi said quickly. Yuki was a little bit worried of the fact that Shuichi was starting to get a sarcastic streak to him.
Yuki blamed it on the birds. They always made people sarcastic.
"Then what took you so long?" Yuki asked again.
"Finding all this stuff!" For the first time, Yuki noticed the large amount of bags that Shuichi was holding. It looked like he had bought out the whole store. How Shuichi managed to carry all of it at once, Yuki would never know.
"Wow! Why did you buy all this food? There are only two of us and we already have more than enough of it. You aren't thinking of feeding the birds real food, are you?" Yuki asked warningly, "Because, they already have more than enough bird food."
"Don't worry, it's not for them."
"Then I ask again, who is it for? There are only two of us! Most of this food will go to waste by the time we get to it."
"Like I said, 'Don't worry'"
"Why?" Yuki asked him. Shuichi just gave him a nervous laugh. Of course, the nervous laugh (rather than just Shuichi being nervous) managed to somehow make Yuki very, very nervous as well. He decided that he didn't really want to push the matter and find out why Shuichi was now acting fidgety. "Whatever," he said. "Just go put it all away."
Shuichi looked startled. He hadn't expected Yuki to just give up. He smiled and nodded.
"Alright." Yuki watched as Shuichi walked into the kitchen, still managing to balance all those bags on his arms. Shuichi had to, quite a few times, stop and make sure that he wasn't almost stepping on anything.
Yuki went back to what he was doing, which was doing practically nothing. He was sitting on the couch in the living room, yet again. Only this time, he was watching those damn swans swim. Man! They were so graceful! He was a little bit scared, though, because the swans looked a lot like the geese (only a different color) and they could turn on him at any moment.
He stuck a finger into the water to see how the temperature was. A swan gave him a warning look, and he immediately took his hand out of the water.
"That swan getting the best of you?" Shuichi asked from behind him. Yuki whirled around, a little bit embarrassed about being caught. He was trying to hide it, though.
"What are you doing in here, brat? Aren't you supposed to be putting away food?"
"Already finished."
Yuki started to growl, but was interrupted by the doorbell. He looked at the door. There was no way that he wanted to open it. The last time he had opened the door, something bad had come out of it.
"Come on, Yuki, open the door!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"No!"
"No!"
"Yes!"
"Ha! Go open it!" Shuichi told him. Yuki felt so stupid, he couldn't believe that he had fallen for that. He slowly, very slowly, walked over to the door. He opened it with his eyes closed.
"Yay! They're here!" Yuki heard Shuichi cry. He was still afraid to open up his eyes. He had to eventually though, so he opened them reluctantly.
He didn't like what he saw. He didn't like it at all.
"What the hell?"
Outside the door, besides numerous amounts of cats, were eight cows and eight women. On top of seven of the cows were swans. On top of six of the swans were geese (they looked like they were almost taped together, otherwise they wouldn't have stayed up). On five of the geese legs were golden rings. There were also four calling birds, three French hens, two turtledoves, and yet another partridge in a pear tree there.
It was one giant troupe and it was moving into his house, whether he liked it or not. Once everything was inside, the women set down the pails and stools that they'd been holding and began to milk the cows. Yuki looked away quickly in disgust.
"Do you have to do that here?" he asked the maids. They just ignored him and continued milking away. The seven swans flew into the pool in the living room. There was just enough room in the pool that they all fit in there. As for the rest of the birds, well, they just scattered about the rest of the house and mingled with the other birds that were already there. Although, the stupid geese hadn't flown off though, because they were, once again, lying eggs.
Just like the other days, as soon as they were finished, he went and picked up the eggs. After checking to see if the eggs were fertilized or not, he stuck in the fridge. When he checked this time he found out, that much to his surprise, these eggs had been fertilized which meant that there would soon be more baby geese running around his house.
One of the maids finished milking her cow and she gave the pail of milk to Yuki.
"Here you go," she said sweetly. Yuki had no idea what to do with it, so he gave it to Shuichi. The cow that she had just finished milking just stood standing there in the middle of the floor. Slowly but surely each and every one of the maids finished milking and handed off their milk to Yuki, who, every time, gave it to Shuichi.
For some strange reason, the maids began to move into the guest bedroom.
"Excuse me," Yuki asked, "where are you going?"
"Oh! We're staying here. Didn't you know that?"
"No, I did not know that." He shot Shuichi a glare.
Great, just great. Now he had eight women living with him. Under normal circumstances, he probably would've been thrilled. Hell, just about any man would've been thrilled. But, these were not normal circumstances, and he was in no way thrilled.
"Welcome!" Shuichi just said.
End "The Eighth Day of Christmas"
(1) Have any of you ever had that experience? Coming home to a ripped up bird? I know I have! I was catsitting for my mom's friend, and I went over to house to feed the cats. There were feathers everywhere! It was so gross! They caught everything, including rats too! So GROSS!!
That's the end of that chapter. HA!!! I managed to get it out at 9:31...A.M.!!! That's because I was up until 1 last night writing it.
No matter, here's a review of reviews:
papillion-en-rose: hehehe...feeding the homeless....I hadn't thought of that. Perhaps I will...RIKU plushie for you, since I see that you like Riku, Shuuichi-chan: はじめまして。 キベセンです。 あんたの日木語はいいですね。SHUICHI plushie for you!, Shado-Fyre: I know! They're absolute beasts!They're so annoying, it's scary to go to some of the parks around here because of it! Since you don't have a bio, I'm going to have to just pick a random anime character. Hm...TSUZUKI (from Yami no Matsuei)-in dog form-plushie for you!, goku-the-saru: はらへった。。。sorry, just felt the need to say that! Um...I know what plushie for you...not an anime character...GACKT!!!!, only, do me a favor and try to not pretend that you're masa in Vanilla, okay? :winks:
That's it! Since there weren't very many people who reviewed (my fault, because I posted my other chapter so late...) I decided to write rather long review of reviews. Hope you enjoy your new virtual plushies!
Please, please, please review this chapter! It's great appreciated and something I look forward to seeing when I come home from work.
Since I didn't get that many reviews, I'm going to have to ask again, HOW MANYOF YOU PEOPLE KNOW WHO GACKT IS? Sorry, I'm just curious....
Virtual plushies to all the people who review this chapter...may there be many of you.
Until tomorrow,
Ki-chan!
P.S. If you want to AIM me, feel free, my AIM name is Kibethan. If you want me to write a review of review to you in Japanese, just say something, and I will...although, I might have to look up the stuff I don't know...