Title: The Twelve Days of Christmas
By: Kibethan
Disclaimer: :singing: la la la...I don't own Gravitation or "The Twelve Days of Christmas"...la la la...
Summary: A better name for this would probably be "The Birds". Or "The People"...Oh Gods! The people!
Half-warning: hehehe...you have been warned. For what? You have no idea!!! Just...prepare yourself!
The Tenth Day of Christmas
…On the tenth day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Ten lords a leaping
Nine ladies dancing
Eight maids-a-milking
Seven swans-a-swimming
Six geese-a-laying
Five golden rings
Four calling birds
Three French hens
Two turtledoves
And a partridge in a pear tree…
Yuki woke up in the middle of the night in a dead sweat. He had been having the worst nightmare!! Shuichi had been giving him all sorts of funky gifts, and there were annoying women fawning all over him!!
He rolled over onto his side to wake Shuichi up and tell him of this disturbing dream. However, sleeping where Shuichi should've been, was a woman. Yuki blinked twice and rolled onto his other side. Surely if Shuichi hadn't been on one, he would've been on the other, right?. Yet, he wasn't. It was another woman.
Yuki furrowed his eyebrows. It didn't make sense. Why wasn't Shuichi in bed with him? Why were all these women with him instead?
His eyes flew open wide as he realized that his dream had actually been reality. He gave a loud shout and started pushing the women off of the bed, searching for Shuichi.
Damn those dancers! They all had funky hair! He just kept pushing the people off of the bed, hoping to find Shuichi. He pushed one particularly feminine-looking women off the bed. She rolled onto the ground and gave a loud shout.
"Yuki…why'd you do that?" asked the woman he had just pushed off. Strange…she sounded a lot like Shuichi. Yuki grabbed the person's head and jerked his or her face to face him. He was surprised as hell when he realized that it was Shuichi.
He had never quite realized exactly how feminine Shuichi really looked.
"Sorry," he apologized, and helped him back onto the bed.
"What about the rest of us?" Yuki heard all of the dancers complain.
"Shut your damn mouths and stay the hell out of my bed!"
He figured that that was a good enough persuasion and he went back to sleep.
When he woke up that morning, he discovered that apparently it had not been enough persuasion. All of the dancers had climbed back into the bed. That's right, somehow nine women and two males had managed to fit into a king-sized bed.
To add insult to injury, the maids –the new ones- were starting to fight. It ended up just being a giant repeat of yesterday. He hoped that he would never have to repeat it again, although, he figured that he probably would have to.
After the entire fiasco that morning had ended (the people all leaving and the cows once again being returned to their home) Yuki was glad that it was over. Shuichi was sitting in the kitchen, eating some yummy goose eggs. It wasn't breakfast, however. In fact, it wasn't even lunch. That's right, it was dinner.
He had wasted yet another day doing practically absolutely nothing. It pissed him off. He hadn't even been able to write! And the birds! Oh my God the birds! There were so many of them that you had to step on one when you walked down the hall.
It was so messy in the house that Yuki didn't think that it would ever return to its original splendor. In fact, he hadn't even begun to think about what he would do with the birds once everything had ended.
Surely they couldn't live with him forever, even though most of them would eventually die. It was unsanitary and too expensive. It was just unrealistic. His mind started turning trying to figure out what it would do with all of the birds.
All of a sudden the front door burst open. That's right, it was that time again. And this time they hadn't even bothered to knock. Yuki looked towards the door waiting for someone or something to come in. Finally, after what seemed like five minutes, a solitary person leapt in.
And when I say "leapt in", I meant really leapt in. A person (an apparent "he") pranced around the room.
'What…the hell?' Yuki thought. All of a sudden nine more men pranced in. All of them were prancing around the room gaily; it was like they couldn't stop moving.
"Good evening, Yuki-san," the first man who pranced in said very dramatically.
"How do you know my name?" Yuki asked warily.
"Oh," he said creepily, "we know everything about you…"
To say that Yuki was creeped out would've been a blatant understatement. You have to understand, these men were very scary. They were all dressed in bright colors, and they all were wearing tights.
It was like one giant Peter Pan get-together, only with all the colors of the rainbow. Actually, all the colors of the rainbow were there. Every single color was there; each man was wearing a different color. There were three other colors there too: white, black, and pink.
Yuki's eyes went wide when he saw the guy dressed all in pink. He must've been very, very secure. It was especially weird when the guy dressed in pink starting prancing with the guy dressed in purple.
Yes, if you put two and two together, these two were definitely together. It was quite apparent from how touchy feely they were being. Even though Yuki was out-of-the-closet, it still made him a little bit uncomfortable to watch what he was currently watching. Sure, in private it was fine (like with him and Shuichi in the bedroom), but in public, where other people could see you, what they were doing was just plain wrong.
He wasn't really sure how to get them to stop either. He certainly didn't want to walk up to them. What if they turned and started touching him? No, no. It was definitely better if he just tried to get their attention.
"WHO ARE YOU GUYS?" he screamed at them. He would've liked it if he didn't have to scream, but they were making noises as they all pranced. Shockingly, they all stopped their prancing for one second and turned to face Yuki.
"We…are the ten lords-a-leaping," one of them said very dramatically. That being said they all starting leaping again. Of course, when they leapt, they didn't look down and thus landed on birds many a time.
The geese were no longer in their room captive and were just standing in the living room watching everything. The green guy -umm…lord, landed on one of the goose's feet. However, instead of instantly turning mad at the guy, as the goose should have done, it turned its attention to Yuki and started charging him, again.
Yuki couldn't believe it! He hadn't done anything, yet the goose was still incredibly mad at him! He shook his head in frustration, not even bothering to move out of the way of the rampaging goose.
Just as the goose was about to hit him, the black lord leapt in from of him and took the hit. Yuki was surprised as hell. He was even more surprised, however, when the other nine lords stopped their prancing around and turned to acknowledge their fallen comrade.
All of them started saying, "Woe…woe…woe…" over and over and over to the point that it was incredibly annoying. Next, they all started quoting Shakespeare. Yuki was seriously confused. The black lord (the one who had taken the hit) started acting like it was one giant death scene.
Shuichi walked out into the living room. The cries of "woe" had drawn him out of the kitchen. He made his way over to Yuki.
"Shuichi, what in the world is going on?" he asked quietly.
"It's the tenth day of Christmas, ten lords-a-leaping. I couldn't find real lords, so I decided to get you ten actors acting like lords instead. I almost didn't, but they were so desperate for a job. Don't worry; they'll be gone tonight. We don't have enough room to keep a lot of people over, especially with all the birds, " Shuichi explained.
"Ah," Yuki said. Them being actors explained the dramatic speech, corny lines, and even cornier costumes. Yuki sat back down onto the couch (he seemed to be doing that a lot lately, perhaps he should get a book…) and watched as the lords continued to prance.
They leapt well into the night. Yuki had to hand it to them; they had a lot of endurance. Only once had they stopped to take a break.
They had even continued to leap when the maids came and milked their cows, and when the nine ladies dancing had come. He was especially impressed, though, when they continued to prance even after all of the ladies (and cows) had left. Yuki and Shuichi had decided the day before that they wouldn't let the maids and dancers sleep over anymore. They were just too much trouble.
Yuki looked on at them while reading a book that he had picked up. Every few sentences, he would look up at the leaping lords and then back down again. After doing that for a few times, he began to notice that the red lord was looking at him.
The red lord was younger than the rest of them, but that wasn't what Yuki had noticed the most about him. He had kept noticing that the red one had been staring at him a lot throughout the night. It hadn't really started bothering him until the look he had been getting started to change into one that he recognized from Shuichi's face. It really unnerved him.
"What do you want?" he asked the red lord gruffly. Much to his surprise, the red lord eeped and looked away in embarrassment. He turned almost as red as the costume that he was wearing.
Great, now it was so obvious that the red lord had a crush on him. Why did he always have to attract the young ones? Why? Why? Okay, the actors were starting to mess with his brain a little.
Yuki furrowed his eyebrows when Shuichi grabbed the pink lord's arm and dragged him away from the purple lord. Where was he going? Meh. He didn't really want to get involved with anything.
A few minutes later, Shuichi emerged wearing the pink lords costume. He spit out the coffee that he had just start to drink (heavily caffeinated so he wouldn't fall asleep around the lords) while he looked at Shuichi. It was a couple of sizes too big and Shuichi looked like one giant pink lollipop.
One big thing crossed Yuki's mind though. If Shuichi was wearing the pink lords costume, then what was the pink lord wearing? He wouldn't have fit into any of Yuki or Shuichi's clothes.
His eyes widened as the realization dawned on him.
Oh my God.
There was a naked man running around his house somewhere!
…He only hoped that he didn't have to see him…
End "The Tenth Day of Christmas"
This is going to be the earliest that I have ever gotten a chapter out...:looks at time:...4:43 a.m. I'm posting this as soon as I finished it! Don't worry...I'm looked over it first. I apologize if some of it seems...off...or weird...actually, this whole story is weird!
But forgive me if there's mistakes, like I said...4 a.m.! (It would be 7 a.m. on the east coast. Actually, it's almost 8 o'clock there! I bet you have light! Lucky...still in the darkness...)
A review of reviews:
Elements: HURRAY!! Your reviews always bring smiles to me face! I love them!, Sliefoxx: Sorry...I'll try to make it a little bit more believeable...and yes, he should be worshipped!, goku-the-saru: Granted, both for you!, Kitsune Thief: That is a great suggestion, and I might just use that...perhaps on the last day, or tomorrow...I started cracking up when I read that!, Shado-Fyre: SWEET!!! I am good!...sorry...I love Tsuzuki! He's so cute! (I'm just glad that you knew who he was...), sikora: I know what Moonchild is...:drools: it has Gacktand Hyde in it..., tokyo kitsune: Kenshin...yes...I suppose that is do-able.:waves wand:...Kenshin plushie for you!, Kittyin the Box: Making me hungry too...食べたい...(I want to eat)..., HieiSakeBaka: Yay! I love getting IM'd! It's my favorite thing!...besides Gackt...and Ren...and You (do you know who You is?), robuddi: I don't think that I had started talking to you yet when my "friend" said that. It was truly devastating on my part...never looked at him the same way again..., Syaoran iskawaii: PLEASE!! Please add me!!! I want to be added!!! I'll be looking for your IM..., Notta Writer: yay! I got a virtual hug!...now if I can only get someone to give me a real one...thank God there's only a couple more days. All this writing fast is starting to wear on my nerves, Aoi Umi: OMG!!! I love 'The Off Track"!!! It's one of my favorite stories!!...I feel sorry for you, I'm a college bound senior too..., Tricksters Girl: They sleep, and then they leave, usually..., Shuichi-fan: (for if you can read kanji...) ｶﾞｸﾄは四百六十四さいです。 こわい、ね。 (for if you can't read kanji and can only read romaji...) Gakuto wa yonhyakurokujuyon sai desu. kowai, ne. (for if you can't understand it...) Gackt is 464 years old. Scary, huh? (He thinks he's 464 anyway...)
That's it! I apologize for the long review of reviews, but I think that most of you like having your reviews answered. One more thing, chances are, I have updated a story and the chapter hasn't shown up yet. If that's the case you can always just check to see if I've updated by going to the website address and since the last three things are / a number /, just type the next chapter to see if I'd updated...there's a good chance that I have...it's happened on more than one occasion.
That's it for today!
Until tomorrow! Good night! Or good morning, I guess! I have been up for 21 hours. Oh! I saw 'A Series of Unfortunate Events' today, and it was so cute! Klaus...:drools:...he's so hot...damn him for being younger than me!! AND...AND...I saw a trailer for "Sahara", which is one of the best books in the world by Clive Cussler! I swear, I almost fainted when I heard the name "Dirk Pitt"...
Okay, sorry...had to say that...
Until tomorrow!
Ki-chan