The Liz: Merry Christmas everyone! Here's my little tribute to some of the stupidest characters out there. You gotta love em

I don't own Christmas Carol or any of Rumiko's great characters.

"Ataaaruuuu," Lum growled, her hair flowing out around her in a demonic halo.

Ataru fell on the ground, his hands up in a pleading motion. "C-come on Lum," he said nervously. "I wasn't really looking at that girl or nothing…"

"DIE!" ZAP! ZAP! ZAP! ZAP!

And with that said, Lum flew off in a huff, leaving behind a scorched twitching Ataru.

"Ow, ow, ow." Ataru limped his way down the street on a walking stick, the street lights coming on overhead. Damn Lum. Why the hell did she have to…

"DEMON!" THWAP!

Ataru rested on the ground with a tremendous knot on his head while Cherry stood over him. "My most humble apologies," Cherry said, bowing towards the limp form at his feet. "It's just that your misfortunate aura confused me, leading me to believe you were a vengeful spirit."

"I'll show you vengeful!" Ataru bellowed, conking Cherry over the head. He slowly rose to leave, heading for his house.

"Wait!" Cherry yelled. "You weren't planning on leaving tonight?"

"It's Christmas Eve, I'm going home," Ataru stated, not even bothering to face the withered priest.

"I sense that horrible misfortune will plague you tonight," Cherry yelled after him. "You mustn't travel tonight!"

Ataru sighed. Every single time he says that, he thought angrily. Something happens to me.

"I'm home," Ataru said as he opened the door.

"Where have you been!" his mother yelled at him. "It's Christmas Eve! Don't you have any respect for family?"

"I was trying to get home!" Ataru yelled. "Geez," he muttered as the phone rang. "I got it!" he yelled picking up the star patterned phone. "Hello?"

"Ataru!" Shinobu's voice screeched over the phone line. "Where were you tonight? We were supposed to meet today!"

Ataru sighed. "I'm sorry, Lum…"

"LUM! Oh, I'm so sick of hearing about Lum!" Shinobu yelled. "That's it! It's over between us! I never want to see you again!"

"Wait Shin…" A little hand popped out of the phone and scratched Ataru's face until he hung up.

Ataru sighed as he walked up the stairs. That's it! he thought angrily. No more! I can't even get a break on Christmas Eve! He slammed open the door to his room and hurriedly began stuffing random objects into his trunk. I'm outta here!

"Your room will be upstairs," the old lady said as she walked up the stairs, Ataru following close behind. The aged stairs creaked loudly under his feet and the dark corridor was stifled with a chilling feeling. "It's not often that we get visitors," the old lady said.

Gee, Ataru thought nervously, adjusting his bag under his arm. I wonder why?

"Ah here we are," the old fogey said. "Room 13. I hope you aren't superstitious," she said as she opened the door.

"Of course not!" Ataru said nervously. The room looked like something out of The Shinning, and the bed had four large posts. "It's just fine!" The old lady bowed and left the room, shutting the creaking door behind her. And Ataru was all alone.

"Thank god!" he laughed as he jumped back onto the bed. "This is great, no Lum, no parents, nothing to bother me! I could stay here forever!"

Famous last words.

Ataru yawned and looked at the large grandfather clock, which read eleven o'clock. Time for bed, he thought happily. And no one is going to yell at me for it either. Man, this was a great idea!

He climbed into the large cushy bed and sunk down into the softness. Just as he was about to close his eyes, the light next to his bed started to flicker. What's going on? he thought as the other lights in the room flickered on and off frantically.

"Suuuuzzzzziiieee."

"S-suzie!" Ataru shrieked.

"Suuuuzzzziiieee, I haavvee cooomme foor youuu." A white figure emerged from the wall of the fireplace, a ghostly aura emitting from her. Her long white hair flowed down to her knees and her skin looked as though it were made of porcelain. From her ankles and wrist hung long chains, various objects connected to the silver bonds. "Ssuuuuuzzzziiiieeee."

"Ghost babe!" Ataru cried with a disgusting grin as he leapt forward to glomp the spirit.

"EEEKKK! Get off!" BAM! The ghost girl looked mortified. "How the hell?" she yelled at the now prone figure of Ataru lying twitching on the ground. "You can touch me?"

"Ehehehe," Ataru laughed. "Sure can! Give us a smooch!"

WHAM! "I don't understand," the poltergeist said. "Where's Suzie?"

"Suzie?" Ataru said. "I'm the only one here."

"Damn it," the ghost said. "I told them I couldn't get her this Christmas. 'She's on vacation,' I say, but do they listen? Nooo…" she sighed. "Well I'll just have to get her next year. Hopefully it won't be too late…"

"I can stay with you!" Ataru said a lecherous grin on his face. He reached for the ghost again…

BAM! "Who the hell are you anyway?"

"My name is Ataru Moroboshi," Ataru said, trying his best to put on his 'movie star' face.

"Moroboshi? Oh god you're kidding me!" the spirit cried woefully. "Everyone in the spirit world knows you! You're the world's biggest lecher!"

Ataru grinned, undeterred by this last statement. "So you know me! That's great!"

GLOMP

WHAM! "Stop it!" the ghost yelled. "That's it! Ataru Moroboshi!" she yelled, her silvery hair flowing around her. "You will visited by the three ghost of Christmas tonight! Heed their warning and learn from them!" And with a clap of thunder, the ghost left, leaving Ataru alone.

"Aw man, she was hot too," Ataru said, climbing into the bed. He fell asleep awhile later, the three ghost completely forgotten.

Something was poking Ataru's head. "Hmm, cut it out…" Ataru mumbled annoyed. "Get out of here Jariten," he muttered.

"I'm not a brat!" a small voice very different from Ten's cried out. "Come on, get up lazy!"

Ataru cracked open an eye to see a small girl in white clothing and… a tail? "Ahh! Rat demon!" Ataru screamed, falling out his bed.

"Rat!" the child yelled at Ataru. "Do I look like a rat to you? I'm a fox demon thank you very much!"

"A-are you the Ghost?" Ataru asked.

"Sure am," the little demon said proudly. "I'm the Ghost of Christmas Past."

"So the Ghost of Christmas Past is a little girl?"

"GIRL!" The ghost jumped down and started scratching at Ataru's face with its very real claws. "I'm a boy! A boy!"

"Ow! Okay, okay! I get it!" Ataru yelled.

The small boy jumped onto the floor and crossed his arms impatiently. "Anyway, we're supposed to go to the past now," he said bitterly.

"What are you going to do if I don't come?" Ataru said. "You're just a kid."

Suddenly the small demon blew up into a giant pink balloon thing with huge eyes. "Come with me!"

Ataru nodded weakly. "O-okay." The balloon reverted back to the little smirking demon boy.

"Okay then! Hold on!" the boy said snapping his fingers.

"Wa-" WHUMP! "What the hell was that!" Ataru snapped, clutching his head.

"We're here," the little boy said cheerfully.

"What? No weird tunnel or anything?" Ataru said bitterly.

"Stop whining and pay attention!" the boy snapped.

Ataru mumbled something about a brat and looked around him. "Hey, where are we?"

"Your house sixteen years ago," the boy said. "Looks different huh?"

"Cleaner," Ataru muttered. "Where is everybody?"

"In there," the little boy said, walking to the living room. Ataru poked his head around the corner to see a much younger version of his parents playing with a baby.

"Is that me?" Ataru asked, eyeing the small child suspiciously.

"Yep," the ghost demon said happily. "What happened?"

CLONK

"OW!" the ghost demon yelped. "What was that for?"

"Shut up!" Ataru yelled back. "Stupid brat."

"I'm not a brat!"

The family in the room went on happily, not noticing the chaos that the two spirits were creating. "Aww, it's so cute," Ataru's mom cooed. "Come on, say 'Mommy'."

"No, no, say 'Daddy'," Ataru's dad said with a smile.

Baby-Ataru laughed happily.

"Come on honey, say 'Mommy'."

"No, no, say 'Daddy'!"

"B-b-," baby-Ataru stuttered, trying to make a word form in his mouth. "Babe!"

…

"That was my first word?" Ataru said disbelievingly. "No wonder Mom and Dad kept giving weird answers. Mom would say it was 'mommy' and Dad said it was 'daddy'."

"Wow, you were a pervert even at that age?" the ghost demon said. "What a loser." CLONK! "OW! Would you stop hitting me!"

"Stop insulting me!"

Meanwhile, the stunned silence in the family room broke happily. "Oh that's so good Ataru!" his mom said happily, playing with the toy in his hand.

"Now let's say 'Daddy'!" his dad said smiling.

The little fox kid sighed. "Little did they know that that was only the beginning. Your poor parents."

"Shut up!" Ataru mumbled. He sighed and leaned back on his hands to see a small red ball heading his way. "What the…" WHAM! "Ye-OW!"

"You shoulda watched what you were doing," the fox demon said as he started walking on the playground.

"Where are we?" Ataru asked. "I thought we were in my house."

"We're at your elementary school," the ghost demon said. "To see what you were like as a little kid."

Ataru scoffed. "Why is this important? And besides, aren't we supposed to be in Christmas past?"

"This is the Christmas season, its close enough," the ghost said. "Wow, is that you over there?" he said, pointing to a small kid with a stupid grin on his face. "Sure looks like you."

"That's not me!" Ataru said indignantly. "I was so much cooler than …"

"Ataru!" a little girl said, running up to the stupid kid. "Where were you today?"

"Hey, that looks like Shinobu," Ataru said.

"Uhh…" the stupid kid said. "I was around."

"Around!" the little girl cried. "I bet you were looking at those stupid magazines again!" SLAP! "Ataru I hate you!"

The fox demon sighed. "Man, your life sucked huh?"

"Shut up! What the hell am I supposed to learn from this anyway?" Ataru said.

The demon ghost shrugged. "How should I know, I'm only a kid after all. Maybe something about your lechery and lack of commitment even at an early age."

"You know, that sounded pretty in depth for a kid," Ataru said. "So where are we going next?"

"Weeellll!" the ghost demon said happily, "Next stop is…" Suddenly a little alarm went off. The little fox demon looked down at his sports watch with looked very out of place with his angelic outfit. "Oops, looks like time's up. Till next time!" he said, flying away and waving.

"Wait a minute!" Ataru yelled from the playground. "What about me? Aren't you going to…" BAM! Ataru wobbled to the ground after being pelted in the head again. "Oww…" he whined, sitting up. Suddenly he realized he was back in his hotel room. "Aww man. This is going to suck."

It had been fifteen minutes since the fox demon ghost kid thing left Ataru and he was starting to get antsy. Where the hell is that stupid spirit anyway? He sighed and rolled over onto his side. "I wanted to get away from this stuff. Damn spirits."

"What do you mean by that?" an irritated female voice said from behind him. Ataru turned around to see a young red-headed girl in a large Christmas robe, which was too big for her.

"Another ghost babe!" GLOMP

"What the hell!" the red head said. "Get offa me!" WHAM! "Stupid kid," the girl said as she turned from the prone figure of Ataru. "Damn, where's that thermos?"

Some hot water splashed onto Ataru, reviving him immediately. "Hey honey!" he yelled about to charge when the helpful alarm went off in his head. Something was different about the ghost, for one thing she wasn't a red-head anymore, and for another thing she wasn't really a she anymore. "YOU'RE A GUY!"

The pigtailed ghost boy smirked. "Yep, and if you pull something like that again, you won't get up so easily." He was wearing the same large Christmas robe he was wearing when he was a she only it fit him much better this time.

Ataru shook his head. "Aww man, I'm gonna be sick," he muttered to himself.

"That's what lechery will get you," the ghost said. "Now come on, we better get going. We haven't got much time left."

"Why? Am I gonna die or something?" Ataru asked, a little less sarcasm then he hoped for.

"No, I was just late," the pigtailed ghost said.

"Oh." Suddenly, Ataru's feet started to lift off of the ground, and flipped him around so that his feet were facing the ceiling. "What's going on?"

"Oops, sorry," the ghost said. He took his hand and made a circle in the air with it. Ataru's body shot up to its proper position but his head hit the ceiling.

"Is there some way of transportation where I don't get hit in the head!" Ataru said angrily.

The ghost shrugged. "Guess you're just unlucky or something."

The Liz: Part two later tonight! Much love and stuff!