"So where are we going anyway?" Ataru asked the pigtailed ghost as they soared over the clouds. "You're the ghost of Christmas Present right?"

The pigtailed ghost nodded. "Yep. You're life is really messed up so I figured we'd visit your family first."

"My family?" Ataru said. "What good'll that do, they're probably celebrating."

The ghost shook his head sadly. "It's too bad you have such a low opinion of yourself."

"You'd have a low opinion of yourself too if you had people constantly yelling at you for doing stuff that's out of your control!"

The ghost just sighed again, a little smile on his face. "Looks like we're here," he said as they began to descend through the clouds. "Hmm, nice neighborhood."

Ataru snorted. "Don't I wish," he said. They continued to travel down through the roof to Ataru's family room.

His mother was crying and his father was stroking her back comfortingly. "Its okay honey, I'm sure he'll be home soon."

"N-no!" his mother sobbed. "Not after the way I yelled at him!"

"Oh that's okay honey," his dad said. "You yell at him all the time, I'm sure he's used to it by now."

"WAAAHHHHH!"

"Uh, well, not all the time, I mean…"

"Oh why did I have to have such an idiot for a son!"

"Idiot?" Ataru said sharply. "Who's an idiot?"

"You are, idiot," the ghost said. "The way you were talking I was expecting a huge party. You know, banners reading 'Ataru's Gone!' or something like that."

Ataru frowned as his sobbing mother continued to curse his existence. She looks kinda upset, he thought worriedly.

The ghost smirked at Ataru when he sniffed the tempting aroma from the kitchen. "Oh man! What smells so good?"

WHAP! "Thinking about your stomach when you're trying to teach me a lesson!" Ataru said.

WHAP-POW! "Don't hit me idiot!"

CLONK! "Don't call me an idiot!"

The ghost growled then snapped his fingers.

WHUMP! Ataru landed head first on the ground. "Would you cut that…"

"Darling!" Lum's voice called in the now dark street. "Darling where are you?"

"Lum?" Ataru said.

"Darling! It's Lum!" she cried out worriedly while floating over the streets. "Where are you?"

"I'm right here!" Ataru yelled.

"She can't hear you," the ghost said, floating above Ataru's head.

"Why not?"

The ghost shrugged. "I don't know, I just work here."

"Well can she see me?"

"Nope, not that I know of," the pigtailed ghost said.

"Lum!" the little Ten said as he flew up to the distressed Lum. "Come on, let's go home!"

Lum shook her head vigorously. "No, I have to find my darling."

"Lum…" Ataru murmured.

"Wow, you've go a hot alien looking for you and you ran away?" the ghost said. "Pfft, loser."

"Would you stop talking like that!" Ataru said angrily. "So I'll go home now. If you'll let me that is," he muttered.

"Nope, can't let you off that easy," the ghost said.

"Well then what the hell am I supposed to learn?"

The ghost smirked. "Looks like time's up," he said. "Later!"

"Oh no you don't!" Ataru yelled. "I want to go back home, and I don't wanna get hit on the head either!"

"Sorry," the departing ghost yelled. "I just work here!" He rummaged inside his robes and pulled out a large object. "Here's your complimentary fruitcake!"

"What's a fruitcake?" WHAM!

"I swear," Ataru mumbled as he sat up in his bed. "If one more spirit hits me on the head…" As his eyes adjusted he saw a large table set up in front of his bed full of food and alcohol. "What the hell?"

"Would you like to partake in my Christmas feast?" a voice said from behind Ataru.

Ataru spun around to face a blank faced man in a dark robe with a hood. "AHHHH!" he yelped as he fell off the bed. "It's the Grim Reaper!"

"You are quite mistaken young Moroboshi," the Grim Reaper said without opening his mouth. "I am but the humble ghost of Christmas Future and you," he said as he floated over to the table, opening a bottle of sake. "Are late."

"I-It's the other ghost's fault. The one with a pigtail."

But the ghost wasn't paying any attention as he was busy gulping down sake at an amazing rate. "Hey!" Ataru yelled. "Are you even listening to me!"

The ghost turned his head towards him and in all seriousness, said "No."

A few minutes passed until the ghost had devoured the entire meal and six bottles of sake (and not giving any to Ataru) he patted his stomach. "Well then, shall we leave?"

"Where'd you get all that food anyway?" Ataru asked bitterly.

"Room service of course," the ghost said plainly.

"My room service?"

"Yes, your room service."

"You mean," Ataru growled. "You ordered all that food on my room service. Which means I'll have to pay for all of this."

"Exactly."

WHAP! "That was most unwise of you," the ghost said as he clutched a giant knot on his head.

"Why? What're you gonna do?" Ataru said, his arms crossed over his chest.

ZOOP! Suddenly Ataru's arms were pinned to his side and he was turned upside down. BAM BAM BAM BAM! His was dropped on his head, picked up and dropped again.

"Now are we ready to leave?" the ghost said.

"Uh…" Ataru muttered, stars dancing in front of his eyes.

"Good." The ghost put up his hood, his face now in shadow and hovered out of the room, Ataru in tow.

"What're you doing?" Ataru asked nervously. "Let me go!"

"Not until we're done here," the ghost said. He opened the door to the hotel to reveal a bleak and dreary setting, the sky overcast and grey.

"What's going on?" Ataru asked, looking around him.

"We're going to your funeral," the ghost said matter-of-factly.

"M-My funeral!" Ataru yelled. "But I'm not dead!"

"You will be eventually."

"But I'm not now!" Ataru yelled, squirming in his invisible bondage. Ataru struggled madly as the ghost dragged him down the street. There was a large crowd gathered in a grave yard, all wearing black. "What's going on?" he asked.

"I already told you," the ghost said. "This is your funeral."

"Looks like I'm pretty loved," Ataru said disbelievingly. "Aren't I supposed to die a lonely death or something like that?"

"Your fate is much worse."

"Worse?" Ataru muttered as he was dragged among the crowd. "Is that Lum?" he said as they passed an older version green haired alien. "What's she doing with Mendo?" Lum dabbed the corner of her eye gracefully while the well-aged Mendo put his arm around her protectively. "Hey! He can't do that!"

"But he can," the ghost said as they neared the grave. "He is her husband."

"Husband! Well then who am I married to?"

"Poor Ataru," he heard a voice nearby say quietly. "It must be hard for his wife now that he's gone."

"Are you kidding me?" another voice nearby said in response. "I hear he was nagged to death."

"I wouldn't put it past him," another voice said.

"Nagged to death?" Ataru said nervously. "Ghost man! What are they talking about?"

"You will see," the ghost said morbidly as they approached the grave. A horrible wailing could begin to be heard as they grew closer.

"Who's that?" Ataru asked.

"Your wife." They approached the grave and Ataru saw something that almost gave him a heart attack. There on her knees was the most wrinkled, puffer faced, beady eyed old woman he had ever seen, bawling her eyes out.

"THAT'S MY WIFE?" Ataru yelled, panicked. "What happened?"

"You never stopped being a lecher and Lum as well as every other female in your life left you. You grew desperate and married a controlling ugly old hag."

Ataru was practically in tears now. "No, no! I'll be good now, I promise! Just don't let that happen to me!"

The spirit turned around to face him, sake strong on his breath. "Do you promise?"

"I promise, I promise! Just save me from such a horrible fate!" Ataru cried. "Please, take mercy on me! I'm just a kid!"

"I'm just a kid!" Ataru cried out again. "I'm just a…"

WHUMP

Ataru landed on his head, tangled in the bed sheets. "Aww man," he muttered as he sat up. The morning light poured through the window onto the floor in front of him. Was that… just a dream? he wondered as he untangled himself.

"Who wants to stick around to find out? I'm going home!" He packed his bags quickly and still in his p-jama's he ran downstairs to the front desk. "Scuse me ma'am!" he said. "I need to check out."

"Very well young man," the old lady said. "That'll be for one night and… my, my, someone must've gotten quite hungry last night!"

Ataru grumbled as he quickly pulled out the large sum of money from his wallet. Now I know it was real.

"Mom, Dad!" Ataru yelled as he stormed into the house. "I'm back!"

"Ataru?" a voice said from the living room. His mom came around the corner and smiled broadly. "Ataru! You're back!"

"Hi Mom, sorry I…"

WHAP! "Where have you been!" his mother shrieked. "It's Christmas for goodness sake! I expect you were out gallivanting through town…"

"Oh Ataru," his dad said as he poked his head around the corner. "Welcome home."

"You should be ashamed of yourself! Out all night the night before Christmas of all times, why don't you just move out or something!"

Okay, maybe I should've come home so early, Ataru thought. "Aww mom, I'm back aren't I?" Ataru said.

"Why did I have to have such an idiot for a son!"

"I'm not an idiot!"

Suddenly Ataru was glomped from behind. "DARLING!" Lum shrieked from behind him. "I was looking for you all night darling! Where were you?"

"Lum! Get offa me!"

"But I missed you Darling! And it's Christmas after all!"

"I said get off!"

"Don't you yell so loudly! The neighbor's will hear everything!"

"No dear, don't you think…"

"Don't you dear me! Why I…"

Meanwhile, three ghosts watched the scene from above the house. "You think he learned his lesson?" the small fox demon said.

"Not a chance," the pigtailed ghost said. "He'll be the same tomorrow, just watch."

The blank faced man nodded. "I agree. Say, shall we go get something to eat for Christmas?"

"Sure! I'm getting pretty hungry!" the pigtailed ghost said.

"Me too! I'm starving!"

"Ranma, shall you pay?"

"Not this time Yotsuya. You're paying!"

"Yeah, and that time I had to lend you money too!"

"My dear young Shippo, you will soon learn the values of money as I have."

"You mean the values of getting drunk on sake and mooching money offa your co-workers?"

"Yes young Ranma, you seem to get the point."

And so, the three bickering ghost left the bickering 'family'.

God Bless Us, Everyone!

A brief summary on the characters that appeared in this story:

Ataru Moroboshi: The unluckiest hero in the world from Urusei Yatsura. Picked at random to save the world by playing tag with Lum (the alien princess), he inadvertently was engaged to her, further messing up his already unlucky life. Being the largest lecher in the world, his dream is to be the master of his own harem.

Shippo: A kid fox demon from Inu Yasha. His father was killed by the Thunder Brothers and in order to get revenge he tried to take the Shikon Jewels from Kagome and Inu Yasha. FYI: It didn't work. So now he travels around with the crew as the happy little kid mascot and comedic relief.

Ranma: A cursed sex-changing teenaged martial artist from Ranma ½. After sparring with his father in the "Training Ground of Cursed Springs", Ranma knocked his father into the Spring of Drowned Panda, giving his father the shape of the panda, who knocked him into the Spring of Drowned Girl. Now cold water turns him into a girl and hot water turns him back into a guy. Oh yeah, and he has three fiancee's, one pyscho stalker girl, one stalker dude, and at least two people trying to kill him daily.

Yotsuya: the alcoholic, free-loading creepy neighbor from Maison Ikkoku. His apartment is right next to Godai's and he often drops in through his little hole in the wall (literally) to steal Godai's food and tease him about the pretty landlord. Think Cherry and Happosai combined, then have him never open his mouth in the manga. That's Yotsuya.

Merry Christmas Everyone!