Why It's Never Dear Santa's Elves

By the Emperor's Sister

Part 2:

Lina awoke to a pounding in her skull and a heavy weight upon her chest. Blearily her aching head recalled the past night of revelry. They had stopped in this town, about a day or two of traveling from Seyrunn, because of snow. Seeing as how it was that festive time of year the team partook of heavy drinking and merry-making before collapsing in their beds in a drunken stupor.

'Crap… now just who did I pass out with.' Lina groaned mentally, 'well best make this quick.'

With that final pain filled thought, Lina swung out her fist at the offending pressure's direction, and ended up striking nothing and causing her to fall off the bed. With a startled meep she braced herself for impact with the floor.

Which didn't quite come.

Opening her sensitive, blood-shot eyes she saw… floor.

"Huh?"

The floor was in fact about an inch or three from her face.

"Why didn't I hit…" she mused confusedly before glancing further down. It appears she HAD hit the ground after all.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE HAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAA!! OH GAWDS MY BAAACK!"

The rest of the slayers crew, as well as the inn's other customers were rudely awaken from their slumber by the red head's banshee-like cries.

Breakfast only began to get even more interesting.

"Here you are Mr. Xellos. This should help sooth your up-set stomach." The firey haired waitress supplied.

"Ah thank you Shadow Lina." Xellos grinned his telltale grin. "But the agony that all these hung over humans are giving off quite makes up for the love and joy I suffered last night."

"Ah, alright. And it's Liny." The shadow child concluded before going back to serving coffee as quietly as she could.

Xellos sat back and watched the room with amusement. It had been quite the trip. They stumbled here frost bitten and covered in cold white fluff, only to be greeted by Lina's Shadow Reflection of long long ago, and lots and lots of alcohol. With much story telling and catching up, along with even more drinking eating and, most un-pleasantly, bursts of caroling, they had spent the night at the 'Chubby Hubby' inn. Though most did not realize it but they had been visited that night by, as far as he could describe, dwarf elves. He could barely suppress himself as he waited to see what they had done.

And if Lina's cries were anything to go by, it wouldn't be much longer.

Zelgadis was the first to come down, dragging and pushing himself over to the table. Next came Gourry, carrying a large bowl of pudding, gazing into its gooey depths rather morosely as a confused and concerned Sylphiel followed behind, patting his back now and then. Amelia virtually skipped to the table, glancing back now and then to see if their leader was following along well enough. Ah and here be Lina.

'WOA.'

Lina had strapped herself into a tight fitting leather and steel corset. It apparently was rather necessary, as she now had to juggle a pair of the largest breasts he had ever seen. And there were a number of buxom succubae on WPI.

"My my Lina-chan. Have a good night?"

"Shut it fruit cake." Lina growled as she rested her weight on the table. "Damn these things weigh a ton."

Zelgadis stopped chewing on the table to drool over her presence instead. Lina blinked. "Uhm.. Why are there three of you?"

Zel sighed as he accepted his cuppa joe from Liny. "That's demon me, this is golem me. I'm human me." He explained drowning himself in the hot, bitter liquid.

"Oh."

"Uhm, would any of you like to try some breakfast?" Liny queried and was startled as Gourry burst into tears. "Ah, did I say something wrong?"

"Gourry-dear woke up and discovered a never-ending supply of pudding bowl at the end of his bed." Sylphiel explained. "I don't know why he's so upset though."

"Waaahhh It…s C…cause… SYLPHIE'S IN IT!! WAAAAAAAAHHHH!!"

"Eh?" Lina asked.

"It seems the famed swordsman of light sees our little priestess in his food. How curious." Xellos snickered.

Sylphiel blushed guiltily. Amelia looked away.

It was actually Liny who caught it. "Alright girls what did you two do." She asked kindly, sitting next to her somewhat twin.

"Wow its like honey-dews and water melons." Zel announced, gaining the red head's attention. "Oh did I say that out loud?"

"Yes." Growled Lina.

"Oh you, teeheehee." Giggled Liny.

"ANYWAY!" Lina slapped the table causing the guilty ones to jump. "Talk! NOW!"

"Um... well… you see. We were just writing our Christmas letters." Sylphiel began.

"And, I thought about how you guys never seemed to get anything from Santa…" Amelia continued.

"And so we thought that was wrong as you are really deserving…"

"So I took it upon myself to write to his elves about the matter."

"And it seems our Christmas wishes were... er.. Granted?"

"I'd hardly call separating my demon and golem halves a cure."

"I can't eat waaah."

"Shut up everyone."

"Well I'm definitely going to enjoy this Christmas it seems." Xellos chuckled, earning himself a quick sock to the jaw, courtesy of our volatile red head.

to be continued