Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. J.K. Rowling does. I'm just here merely to amuse you and myself.
Chapter 3 – Back Home
Ginny and Hermione got into a Thestral carriage glad to be away from the guys for a bit to catch up on their own.
"So are you seeing anyone Gin?" Hermione asked treading carefully.
"Well I started seeing Dean Thomas over the summer" Ginny replied.
Hermione's face fell but she quickly put on a forced smile to cover it up. "So how does Ron feel about that? I mean him and Dean are in the same year dormitories. I would be afraid he'd hurt him in his sleep or something."
"Ron did try to scare him off but I told mum and she threatened to tan his hide if he didn't leave the two of us in peace. I hope he didn't scare Dean off. I haven't seen him since that last visit. I've missed him" Ginny said longingly.
"Sounds like you really like him" stated Hermione.
"You could say that." A grin played across the 5th year's face.
"Say what?" Hermione said dumbfounded.
"I think I'm in love with him" she whispered.
"Oh" she said. Shit, shit, shit Hermione mentally slapped herself. It's just my luck that the first girl I happen to fall for is already taken. This is just typical.
"Hermione is there something wrong?"
"It's just…don't you think your rushing things a bit?" recovered Hermione. I'm such a hypocrite I fall in love with someone before I start dating them.
"Rushing things? Hermione I've been with him for a little over two months. Don't you think you would know if you're in love with the person or not by that point?"
"I suppose you're right" Hermione surrendered, "though everyone is different."
The carriage stopped and they piled out entering the great hall. Everyone sat down at their house tables eagerly waiting for the sorting ceremony begin. Dean and Ginny were sitting together talking and giving each other pecks on the on the lips. It made Hermione sick to her stomach seeing the girl she loved do this. She envied Dean so much. She would give anything to be able to have Ginny like that. She noticed Ron was glaring daggers at his sister or trying to ignore them. Hermione began to cry silent tears. She quickly brushed them away hoping no one would notice. Harry spotted her and mouthed we need to talk.
After the sorting was finished, the feast began. Hermione barely touched her food. A few people asked her what was wrong she just insisted that she wasn't hungry.
After the feast was over Harry said "let's go for a walk."
"Why were you crying during the sorting ceremony?" he asked.
"It's nothing" she replied
"Hermione it has to be something in order to make you cry" he said firmly
"Okay to put it simply I'm in love with a girl I can't have" bemoaned the witch.
"Does this girl happen to have long copper hair, blue eyes and go by the name of Ginny Weasley?" He asked.
Her head shot up in surprise, "How did you know?"
"Hermione when you like someone you tend to make it painfully obvious. Stealing longing glances and forgetting your train of thought when she speaks to you."
"I don't, do I? Ginny doesn't know does she?" fretted the brunette.
"I highly doubt it. As smart as Ginny is her knowledge doesn't extend very far in the subject of love. She thinks she loves Dean but she's too naïve to understand these kinds of feelings" stated Harry assuredly.
Surprised at her friends thoughtful and observant comments she said, "Boy haven't you wised up. Who are you and what have you done with Harry?"
Harry chuckled, "Let's just say I also know how it is to love someone you can't have so we're in the same boat. I'm still the same person just wised up a bit."
"Thanks for talking to me Harry it's a bit of a relief for someone to know. I'm trying to get her out of my mind but I just can't she haunts my thoughts, dreams and being. I feel too much! I need to just shut my feelings off before I get hurt any more than I already have. I hate feeling vulnerable like this. It drives me crazy" vented the witch.
"Hermione never shun you're feelings. It's a part of who you are and that's what makes you special. Whoever you end up with is going to be very happy and lucky with your passionate and caring self. They'll be wondering how they ever lived without your love in the first place."
Hermione beamed at this, "Thanks for trying to make me feel better Harry. I appreciate you being here. We'd better get back to the common room before people begin to wonder where we disappeared to.
"Anytime Hermione. I'll catch up to you later. I just need a few moments by myself for a little while."
"Okay. Thanks again Harry" said Hermione as she walked off heading back to the castle.
Harry started crying as he watched the woman he loved walk away. If I can't make her happy I hope someone else will. He took a deep breath and prayed for her to be happy and for her to find someone to love her as much as he does. Man I need to find someone else, he said to himself. Though to be fair he knew she was interested in girls before she told him. He had just hoped that it wasn't exclusive. Oh well, he said to himself. Life goes on.
Hermione walked into the Gryffindor common room and plopped herself in an arm chair by the fire. Several thoughts were racing through her mind.
Why is life so unfair? Is it a coincidence that my name is spelled like hermit? Does this mean I'm going to spend the rest of my life alone? I don't want to be alone. Every fiber of my being wants to love and be loved in return. This loneliness is causing me so much pain, agony and despair. I don't deserve this. It feels like I'm thrown more obstacles than everyone else. My expectations too high, hiding a big secret. It all gives me so much stress I can't bear it much longer. I'm not going to kill myself though there's no point in that. I have a purpose in life just right now I can't find what that purpose is. So instead of mopping around I'm going to get focused a figure out what I'm going to do with the rest of my life. It'll keep me distracted enough from feeling these things I hope. Dear universe, I need help. So please get me out of this hell of a life and get me where I want to be.
Someday I'll be alright; someday.