There Goes Santa Claus

"We killed Santa," Kurt whimpered as he wrapped a blanket around him. "We killed Santa!"

"This is totally freaky," Kitty shook her head. "Thank God I'm Jewish otherwise this would totally ruin my holiday!"

"Not as much as the dead guy's is ruined," Ray remarked.

"Hey! There's an ambulance coming up the road, and a few cop cars," Tabitha remarked. "Looks like I may end up visiting my dad in jail after all."

"No, they came for the body," Scott sighed.

"You called the cops?" Rogue yelled.

"What were we supposed to do?" Scott snapped. "Just bury him in the back yard?"

"Oh just what we need!" Ray threw up his hands. "The cops investigating us…AGAIN!"

A few hours later…

"I don't wanna go to jail…" Kurt moaned. "I didn't wanna kill Santa. I didn't kill Santa! I had nothing to do with those lasers! If anyone should go to jail for killing Santa it should be Forge! HE SET UP THOSE LASERS! HE DID IT! I'LL TESTIFY IF I HAVE TOO! I'M WILLING TO TESTIFY!"

"Way to show unity Kurt," Forge folded his arms and growled.

"He's been under a lot of stress," Xavier sighed to Detective Abrams.

"I am saying one thing," Forge said. "I am not taking the fall for this! I was under orders!"

"Calm down Forge," Xavier sighed. "I've talked to the detective here and he's agreed to rule this an accident."

"Really?" Kurt blinked. "We're not killers?"

"No, we're just accidental manslaughters," Rogue quipped.

"AAHHHH!" Kurt cringed.

"You just had to say that didn't you Stripes?" Logan moaned.

"Don't feel too bad kid," Detective Abrams said, patting Kurt on the shoulder. "He had two bottles of scotch in him and his parachute was defective anyway! He'd have been dead the instant he landed in the back yard. Splat!"

"Aren't you taking this a little too calmly?" Kurt asked him.

"Kid this is my fifth dead Santa since I've joined the force," Abrams shrugged. "You wouldn't believe how many pop off this time of year."

"Hey you remember that crook that dressed up like Santa and not only got caught in the chimney, but got caught on fire?" One policeman asked.

"Do I? Took me weeks to get the smell out of my clothes," Abrams chuckled.

"That's nothing," Logan waved. "I once saw a guy in a Santa suit actually get run over by a sleigh!"

"Reindeer or horse drawn?" The cop asked.

"Horse," Logan said.

"Is this what our holiday is going to be like? Swapping dead Santa stories over a warm corpse?" Kurt gasped.

"You know no holiday gathering is complete without hot cider!" Jubilee walked in carrying a tray of hot cider.

"Oh thanks I'll have one," Abrams took one.

"Ooh! Me too!" The cop said.

"I'll have a sip," Hank shrugged.

"This is not my life…" Kurt winced. He looked upwards. "Lord, I need to ask you something…Is this your idea of fun? To make my life miserable? What you get bored and decide to play a game of 'Let's Torture Nightcrawler'? Making me blue and furry wasn't enough was it? Making me have an insane family didn't give you enough chuckles?"

"You gotta admit he does play with him a lot," Kitty whispered to Tabitha.

"What more can you do to me?" Kurt pleaded. "Haven't I suffered enough?"

"Yo! Nightcreeper!" Todd called out as the Misfits entered the room. "What's with the cop convention?"

Kurt looked upwards. "Nice touch."

"I'd never thought I'd say this but am I glad you're here," Scott groaned. "For once traveling with you guys is gonna be a pleasant experience!"

"Travelling? I didn't see a car or nothing pull in," One cop said.

"Yeah how did you guys get here?" Abrams asked.

"Stealth plane," Roadblock said quickly. "So what did happen?"

"We had a slight accident," Xavier coughed.

"Splattered Santa in the back yard," Abrams said.

"Detective!" Xavier said sharply. He indicated the Triplets and Spyder.

"Cool! Let's go look!" Spyder shouted.

"I think that might be inappropriate," Xavier said.

"Yeah, like we haven't seen a dead Santa before," Quinn scoffed.

"Do you really wanna know the story behind that?" Lance asked Scott as they ran off gleefully.

"No," Scott said simply.

"WHERE IS HE? WHERE IS THAT MUTANT XAVIER?" Mayor Chandler burst in with his entourage. "YOU!"

"Mayor," Xavier sighed. "What can I do for you? As if I didn't already know."

"Well Xavier I was wondering how you would top this year off," Mayor Chandler said. "I mean you've done so much already this year, what with the riots and the fires and the giant robots. Let's not forget all those explosions and earthquakes every week that make the days so special. But shooting Santa out of the sky…That really puts a nice holiday spin on everything. Well it's official now, you X-Men have made our lives a living hell."

"Oh put a cork in it," Lance snapped. "It's not their fault the guy was drunk and his parachute was faulty and blew him off course!"

"No, but they are responsible for shooting Santa and upsetting every child in Bayville!" Mayor Chandler snapped.

"How do they know it was them?" Todd asked.

"We had two choppers in the air and filmed the whole thing!" Mayor Chandler snapped. "We were lucky you didn't shoot them down as well!"

"Mayor this was obviously a freak accident," Detective Abrams told him.

"Emphasis on freak," Chandler snarled. "Well what about all those lasers they've got? Surely that has to be illegal!"

"Actually I have special dispensation from the government to have anti aircraft weaponry," Xavier replied. "Due to several violent attacks on my school…"

"More like your buddies the Joes pulled a few strings," Chandler snapped. "Or was it SHIELD? Well whoever it was you can bet they'll be hearing from my lawyers!" He stormed out of the room then started to scream more profanities.

"Oh dear," Hank looked out. "Kitty I believe you forgot to take Lockheed for a walk this afternoon."

"He made such a mess in the hall," Pietro snickered. "Bad Mayor."

"Sorry," Kitty winced. "I guess I kind of got distracted what with Santa dying and me stressing over my parents fighting and all…"

"Oh my goodness! My parents! I forgot!" Kurt shot up. "We were supposed to pick them up at the airport!"

"Don't worry Kurt I called them and sent a taxi," Xavier said. A loud ruckus could be heard at the door. "Oh dear I think they're here."

A stout pair of middle aged Germans were making a fuss with the policeman at the door. "It's all right! They're guests here!" Xavier told them. "I'm so sorry about this, but we seem to have had a bit of trouble."

"Ya, you told us over the phone, Kurt! How are you!" The woman beamed with a huge smile and hugged Kurt. "Ooch! Boy you are so skinny! Don't you eat around here?"

"Depends on who's cooking," Bobby snickered. Kitty hit him on the arm. "Ow!"

"Everyone these are my parents, Stephan and Jimaine Wagner," Kurt announced. (&) "Mama, Papa you know Professor Xavier and Ororo. This is Kitty, Bobby, Ray, Tabitha, Jubilee, Remy, Rina, Scott, Peter, Logan, and Mr. McCoy…"

"Ach yes we have heard all about you," Stephan nodded.

"And this is Rogue," Kurt motioned.

"Oh my dear! How good to meet you!" Jimaine gave Rogue a big hug. Fortunately for her Rogue was covered up enough.

Unfortunately for Rogue, Jimaine Wagner was a lot stronger than she looked. "Can't…breathe…"

"Mama, please we've already had one death here," Kurt pried her away.

"We have heard so many wonderful things about all of you," Stephan said.

"Hey that's cool yo," Todd grinned.

Stephan looked at him. "You must be Toad. We've heard about you too!"

"Heh…" Todd smiled nervously.

"These are the Misfits," Kurt introduced. "And that's Detective Abrams of the Bayville Police Department…"

"I come here a lot lately," Abrams said.

"I'm afraid your visit coincides with an unlikely and untimely demise of a Santa with a bad parachute," Hank sighed.

"Oh it's all right. These things happen," Stephan waved.

"It's not like we haven't seen a dead Santa before," Jimaine shrugged.

"When?" Kurt gasped. "Don't tell me! I don't want to know!"

"We used to work in a circus," Stephan told them. "Accidents happen."

"Remember when Giorgio the drunk decided to dress up like Santa and torment the elephants?" Jimaine said to her husband.

"You mean Uncle Flatfoot?" Kurt blinked.

"And people call my family crazy," Fred shook his head.

"What is crazy is that angry mob of parents and children outside!" Stephan said. "You would not believe what we had to go through to get here!"

"Angry mob?" Logan looked outside. "Oh no…"

"This is starting to become a running gag," Tabitha groaned.

"Those people are madmen!" Stephan gasped as he looked outside. "Is that a gallows they're building?"

"Roadblock could you do us a little favor?" Xavier asked. "You think you can take the rest of us with you to Hawaii for a few months?"

(&) Okay, I changed Kurt's history a little because it seems he doesn't have an insane brother in the Evolution. And since Margali is Amanda's mother and I'm not changing Amanda's name…Well you all get the picture. Just go with the flow here.

Next: Fun in Hawaii. What has Alex been up to? And who is Fred's cousin? (And no it's nobody you know.) You'd never believe it!