OK Thanks to a change in the rules for I am being forced to write at least a little more to avoid breaking the rules. So here goes . . .

A very familiar short haired girl rolled naked on a huge pile of yen, laughing gleefully as she threw handfuls of cash into the air and let it rain down upon her slender form.

A soft "Oh, my!" came from the vicinity of her bedroom door, distracting her from her revelry. With a startled "EEP!" she did a credible imitation of Scrooge McDuck and burrowed into the pile till only her eyes were visible.

A rather nervous Kasumi closed the door quickly behind her and asked in a trembling whisper "Nabiki, dear? Should I expect the police to arrive shortly asking abought a bank robbery, or have you finally made good on your threat and sold Mr.Satome on the black market as an endangered animal?"

"No no no no!" Nabiki gasped out breathlessly. "It's all legal! I just sold the whereabouts of Ranma and Akane to the fiancées and other interested parties. Robbing banks is too dangerous and Genma would just escape once he managed to get a hold of some hot water." Nabiki blinked at seeing Kasumi's shoulders seemed to droop a little at the news that Genma hadn't been sold. Surely she must have imagined that last bit.

"Well you could always ask Elder Cologne to teach you how to apply the Full Body Cat's Tongue Pressure point."

'OK maybe I wasn't imagining it.' Nabiki thought to herself while making a mental note of what to do for Kasumi when her birthday rolled around.

With a visible effort Kasumi steered the conversation back to where she had come in. "So how did you get all of this just for telling everyone where they were?" She paused for a second and before Nabiki could answer asked another question. "And how in the world are you dogpaddling in a pool of yen?"

Nabiki's arms swayed gently in front of her keeping her head and shoulders above the currency while Kasumi peeked under her bed trying to see if she could find her sister's legs.

"I can answer the first of your questions but the second one is a secret!" Nabiki answered with a grin while backstroking lazily in her bed as if it was swimming pool.

Kasumi smiled sunnily and ignored her sister breaking the laws of physics. She had plenty of practice ignoring the impossible since the Satomes had moved in.

"Shampoo and Ukyou each paid a modest amount. The majority actually came from Kodachi." Nabiki's smile actually out shone Kasumi's for a moment as she related the days events.

Sasuke escorted Nabiki from the gate of the Kuno estate through the grounds carefully disarming traps and rearming them behind her. "Mistress Kodachi awaits you in the library. I hope you like Earl Grey. It's all she'll drink since she saw some interview abought some American sci-fi actor."

Sasuke had been a bit surprised at his Mistress' fondness for American sci-fi series but felt it wasn't his place to comment on. Though he did wonder why she kept sending Master Tachi those red shirted uniforms from the show even though he had showed no interest in it himself. 'He started wearing them as undergarments just before Satome started school. I wonder if that's why he's been losing so badly. Maybe they're a bit too constrictive?'

Nabiki nodded, a smirk upon her lips as she strode along, her mind sorting through and discarding opening gambits to her dealings with Kodachi. 'Hmmm. Perhaps a little added pressure by mentioning the pig tailed girl is with him. . .'

Kodachi sat quietly drinking her tea, awaiting the appearance of that charmingly mercenary Tendo girl, who had news of her beloved Ranma-Sama.

She hadn't seen him in a little over a week and she was beginning to get worried. Sure her intended was manly enough to take on any challenge, but she still worried that some hussy would sink her claws into him if his darling Kodachi wasn't there to protect him from them. He was so delightfully naive that way.

"Greetings Nabiki Tendo. I believe you mentioned to my manservant that you had news of my darling Ranma?" Kodachi gestured to the chair across from her. While the library was impressive and could be used to awe most of the lower caste individuals she came in contact with, it was the view behind her that she found especially useful when dealing with strong willed individuals.

Nabiki calmly took her seat accepting the tea held out by Sasuke and taking a sip. "Mmmm Earl Grey." She commented warmly, as if it was her favorite blend.

Kodachi's smile widened a few centimeters. She knew Nabiki probably preferred one of the orange teas that were so popular these days, but it was her willingness to follow the rules of polite society and pretend otherwise that made her such a delight to deal with.

Nabiki sipped her tea, pretending her view of Midori's pond was a happy accident while outlining the information she had for sale. At the mention of Ranma, Kodachi gave a happy little sigh. When Nabiki mentioned the pigtailed girl, Kodachi began to get tense and glanced around the room nervously, as if awaiting for the shadows to attack her. As Nabiki began winding down her pitch and mentioned the mental ward, her eyes shot open and she jumped to her feet.

"Thank you miss Tendo, your timely warning shall not be forgotten!"

With this, Kodachi was on her feet and out the door yelling commands to Sasuke, as she threw a rather large bundle of cash at her stunned guest.

Nabiki gave a happy little sigh as she climbed out of her bed and shook out her hair, sending yen notes flying to the far corners of her room.

Kasumi blinked and thought to herself for a moment as Nabiki dressed. "But that makes no sense at all." She said exasperatedly.

"I know. I questioned Sasuke abought it after Kodachi had left and he explained it all to me." Nabiki was visibly shaking from trying to withhold the laughing fit that was steadily building.

"Apparently Kodachi witnessed Ranma changing one day and mentioned it to Kuno. He assumed she had ingested some rather exotic drugs and arranged an intervention. Now just try and imagine an intervention abought the dangers of drug abuse held by Kuno and his father!" Nabiki fell back on her bed laughing merrily only to have Kasumi join her a second later.

After a quarter of an hour they had both calmed down enough for Nabiki to continue. "And that's not even the best part. Apparently they weren't satisfied that the intervention had been enough and tried to trick her into going to the hospital by convincing her that Tachi was in the hospital and it was her family duty to visit him. So she took my mention of Ranma and the pigtailed girl followed by the talk of her brother and the mental hospital to be me warning her abought her family's plans. She is hiding out in Hawaii at the moment and has ordered Sasuke to obey me as he would her."

"But isn't that dishonest?" Kasumi asked worriedly.

"Not at all." Nabiki replied "Because as it turns out, Kuno senior had planned to put her in the mental ward, to be close to her Ranma-Sama. So all I did was warn her of a plot against her that I didn't even know existed, while not knowing I was warning her." Nabiki grinned wildly. "Only in Nermia!"

Ukyou smiled as she strode into the hospital. "Who do I see abought being committed?"

Authors Notes!

An explanation for my spamfic.

OK. I put this in the parody section because it was just a one
shot off the cuff 3 AM idea. Not to be takin' seriously or
looked at in depth. I've had enough reviews posted that
I might as well respond.

I like it so far! I wonder where you're going to go with this... Update soon! JenJen-chan

AN: Sorry it's not going anywhere.

The "Mad Cow" bit is a low blow. The two mega-reviews have a point that it would take a LOT of damage for them to be committed, and Ranma could in all probability claim self- defense, but I agree with you that it's not worth it to complain; if you really wanted to you could have dug up a very good reason, I'm sure. taku's review was funny. My only actual complaint is this: I wish you had told us what "galeophobia" was. I'm going to look it up. I'll be annoyed if you made it up. I agree thst the mega-reviewers, in this case, should "chill out".

AN: Here ya go.

galeophobia - ( ) A fear of cats

galeanthropy - ( ) The delusion that one is a cat

As you can see Galeophobia is a fear of cats. Ranma suffers from Galeanthropy when his Galeophobia gets to be too much to bear. I googled it! The damage done to the school was arranged by the Principal ahead of time. He managed to maneuver the three into fighting inside the school itself when everyone was evacuated for a fire drill. He had C-4 planted at a few strategic places so that the building would collapse behind them. Yes he could pay for it but he would not allow his son to do so. The whole point was to get them committed to a psychiatric facility he had influence over so he could bring his son closer to his fierce tigresses and possibly get Ranma a bowl cut. The fact that he had plans for a complete redesign of the school in a tropical theme is completely beside the point. Hehehe.

BTW The reason the profiles don't seem like they were written by professionals is because they weren't. Kuno Senior wrote them and had his secretary go over it before mailing it. Her views on the characters involved are what we mainly see as Kuno Sr. couldn't bring himself to write enough on his son to justify having him committed. Besides not wanting a bowl cut and seeing surfing as a plebian sport just didn't cut it.

Her son was involved in a small altercation with Akane when he asked her where the women's restroom was and received a mallet to the head that broke his nose and knocked out two of his front teeth. Why did he ask? He was delivering a box of toilet paper to the janitor who was working on a leaky pipe in there and filling the toilet dispensers. His mom often used him as a gopher at school in between classes. Thus the Mad Cow crack was born.

I agree Taku's review was great!

.i dun't get it therefore i think its kinda crappish apie

AN: Yes it is. grin

This is an insult. My former major was in psychology, so I found this story

extremely hard to digest as funny, even if it's suppose to be a humor. Though I applaud you for the the try.

However, take into consideration that the entire Ranma arch was basically one long comedy. So, in order to write a humor for Ranma, you NEED to use basic

Ranma facts as a base point.

The school, on several occassions, has had it's share of explosions, ki blasts, martial arts fights, and whirlwind. So why couldn't the expenses be covered this time? Also, I never seen Kuno do much more damage than cutting down a tree and slicing through a wall. I doubt Akane can do half as much damage as Kuno could.

At best, she'd only be able to bring down a few classroom walls and destroy the desks. Ranma, at the most, has only been able to cause a large hole in the ground with the Hiryuu Shoten Ha by himself. So, meaning, that at best, Ranma, by himself, couldn't destroy the entire school. Even with the help of Kuno and Akane. Hell, you can throw in Ryouga and Mousse and they couldn't really destroy the school to the point where the Kunos couldn't cover it.

I've seen char. bashings in my days my friends, but this fic has ended up along with the top twos.

Neohowler

AN: Read above for some of your answers. As for the rest. . .

1. Take out a couple of support beams and you can collapse an entire building with very little force.

2. Who beat me in character bashing?

The human form of Mad Cow Disease (BSE -- Bovine Spongiform Encepalopathy) is called Creutzfeldt Jakob Disease (CJD). That's why there's so much hysteria

about Mad Cow Disease: people are afraid eating beef from one of those Mad Cows can give them CJD.

I don't think your psychological analyses actually exist (God complex?). You could actually lock up the majority of the cast for various psychological problems, though I think Ranma and Akane would be more to the middle of a list like that. Definitely below Kuno, though.

AK-47

AN: Yes people can catch mad cow disease. However the secretary
isn't well versed in medical jargon and just thought it described
Akane rather well. God Complex is just a laymen's term for
'delusions of grandeur' or 'megalomania ' .

Heh, nice little spamicish twist there at the end :) Of course, since this IS Ranma-world, what Nabiki said will what, of course, happens.

-Joshua

AN: Yep that's the unwritten plan.

Necratoid and Darketernal

AN: Too big to bother with and mostly answered by My review that I tossed in. The signed reviews only is a default setting and no work of mine. I have since corrected it.

This was meant to be a Parody. Hence the listing under Humour/Parody. If this had been a real fic the story you just read would have been longer and actually followed cannon in most points. I probably would have tossed in a plot as well.

Writing a review longer then the piece itself is a bit much. Take some time off and relax a little.

Dogbertcarroll

I'm actually continuing it now. I had a really weird idea and decided to inflict. . . I mean bless you all with my continuing story!