Pairings: you can say its HP/DM
Rating: R
Summary: His life lately had been dark and depressing. He was nothing more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape.
Title: It Wasn't Even That Sharp
Harry's always been like that, at first he felt unwanted, what a horrible emotion. Then he felt loved. It should have felt nice and 'fuzzy' for lack of better word because of all those eleven years with the Dursleys, but no, it felt odd. Then when he met Malfoy and had to sit through the shit he had to say about his newfound friends, he felt unbearable hate.
Sometime around his third year, when that 'bloody chicken' had injured Malfoy, he didn't know what he thought about the other anymore. The way his face grimaced in pain. The way his body helplessly limped against the massive teacher named Hagrid when he was taken to the infirmary. The way he made that intimidating face when he had passed Harry the paper crane note. He could list it all; the irritating things Malfoy did to set him off all those years ago. But to the point, whatever the git did, he found himself entranced.
The bond Harry had with his housemates was strong. That's why he was angered when someone had told the slytherin prince about the 'feelings' golden-boy carried for him. He refused to talk to anyone in the common room. They denied it all and with all the lies fed to him ever since he was brought to this school, he could only believe so much. Right?
Of course Draco found the news amusing and used it against Harry to his twisted expense. He didn't waste time toying with Harry, all those years of bottled hatred. He pretended he cared and being the unloved individual in the 'relationship,' Harry pretended he believed.
His life lately had been dark and depressing. He was nothing more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape. His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks.
They were both sitting on a transfigured couch since their affiliation was unwelcomed in both their houses. Snuggling beside each other in contentment either one afraid to break the silence, but one must.
'Do you love me?' the darker of the too questioned and the answer was not said for a while.
'Yes,' was the lie.
They both knew it was. But Harry was unloved; a lie was more than enough.
Darker thoughts would take over him at inconvenient times and he found himself in trouble as soon as he would space out. Once it was with Professor McGonnogal and she was forced to take fifty points off her own house. Snape was not as kind as her though since he tended to lose more focus during that subject, his object of desire just across the room from him.
"MR. POTTER! WOULD YOU KINDLY PAY ATTENTION." The greasy teacher would bellow out and would proceed to take a million points off the house. This earned him glares from his fellow classmates and obvious snickers from the other house. The loudest of them, Draco Malfoy's.
Nowadays he spent most of his time at the astronomy tower just thinking, looking at the ground below. Far below. At this point in time grim thoughts would flood back in and he thought it silly to block them out. 'Wonder how much it would hurt?' his irrational side thought and the rational counterpart would always have something sarcastic to say like 'Why don't you try it out?' or 'Gee, I wonder.' Well, maybe it was that rational.
Food and Harry had been bitter enemies recently. Sometimes it would choke him, other times it refuses to taste good until Harry had followed his gut and stopped eating. It became apparent as bones started to make themselves known and he cursed his now empty gut. A lot of help that would do though. Even if he would eat, it wasn't like it would stay in his stomach. Bulimia managed to be one of his loyal companions along with insecurities and suicidal thoughts, bloody fun to be around.
His life lately had been darker and more depressing. He was much more than a full videotape, full of memories. Except one would not wish to keep on replaying this depressing videotape. His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks.
'How much do you love me?' the lighter of the two had asked one day. The other merely watched his lover and wondered why he would be asking such a ridiculous question.
'More than anything.' he answered, actually he more like questioned. He was still puzzled by the question.
'Then prove it to me.' the blonde countered, his eyes narrowing slightly. Never mind, that shocked Harry more. 'How?'
He had lost his friends the day after. No, scratch that, he had lost everything the day after and all for the stupid need for his evident love to be proven, his stupid, evident, unrequited love.
Now, his house shunned him, The Daily Prophet had been interrogating him, Dumbledore acted bitterly and teachers took no regrets in deducting house points. Even McGonnogal found the 'Torture Harry' game entertaining. This lead up to Gryffindor losing the house cup and Slytherin rightfully claiming him. Oh, you should have seen the hostile glares.
They came back a year later, their last year, Harry being isolated from the rest of the world. It was fun sometimes. Feeling his sanity slip away and all, yet he hadn't lost enough to actually jump out of that window, this was all Malfoy's fault, Malfoy's sadistic obsession.
He was in his beloved tower again, sitting on his usual spot on the ledge of the only window. This time though, he wasn't alone.
"Fancy meeting you here Potter. So… where's your entourage?" Draco's lazy drawl came from the only entrance. Harry would have laughed. 'Well, here's my finger to stick down my throat; here's the tall tower and my masochist thoughts. All we need is a mirror so I can ridicule myself.'
"What do you want Malfoy?" he mocked; copying the same drawl Malfoy was famous for.
"Remember Potter, how you told me that you would die for me?" He asked his tone menacing, it didn't really sound like he would be pledging his love to Harry anytime soon. Harry was shocked and confused. Shocked because Malfoy was talking to him, confused because Malfoy was talking to him.
His life lately had been nothing but dim muses and unnecessary flashbacks…
Harry was on his knees half naked while Draco was laying down his cock out and in Harry's mouth, a silencing spell around the room so Draco's moans could not be heard.
'Harry make me come… Now!' he commanded and Harry sucked harder. He eventually came and Harry had to spit it all out.
'What the bloody hell did you do that for?' he asked angrily. He back handed the darker haired boy and screamed 'Next time Potter, you drink it all up.'
Harry's cheek stung and he was pretty close to tears. Instead of feeling sorry for him, Draco went into his controlling mode. 'Harry do you love me?'
The other nodded. 'I would die for you.'
"Your point Malfoy?" he asked, the lazy drawl fighting to stay in his voice.
"Prove it." he ordered and tossed Harry a dagger that was hidden in his robes.
Harry stared at it angrily then he turned to his ex-lover.
"Prove it to you? What gives you the bloody right to tell me that? After all I've done its still not proof enough that I love you? I gave up my friends for you; I turned Dumbledore away and joined Voldemort for you. Isn't that proof enough?" he hissed, pointing at the dark mark on his arm.
Draco raised an eyebrow and said 'no' as if it were a simple answer. "Dying for me is the only proof." Draco could have been wrong, he was wrong but at that moment his rational part was pretty irrational. He took the knife and slit the area over his dark mark. But the knife was too dull.
"I knew it Potter, we're over." He said, fake disbelief.
"As if I didn't know that." He shouted back and threw the blade at his back, which he didn't feel because the robes were too thick.
"You want proof?" he whispered to no one as he stepped off the ledge. "Here's your proof."
Harry's always been like that, at first he felt unwanted, what a horrible emotion. Then he felt loved. It should have felt nice and 'fuzzy' for lack of better word because of all those eleven years with the Dursleys, but no, it felt odd. Then when he met Malfoy and had to sit through the shit he had to say about his newfound friends, he felt unbearable hate. Now he was incapable of those feelings, of any feelings.
'Malfoy, you idiot, the knife wasn't even that sharp.'
End.
Review please. Then after, you can review my other story 'Two Hearts, One Beat'
Summary: People say one heart beats for one person. What if two people had the same heart?
Thankssssssss.