Chapter Four

Jazz walked out of the house and down toward the picnic table that she and Leon had been sitting at a couple of hours before. She felt kind of woozy, due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed. In the end, to Jazz at least, 12 beers and 4 shots of vodka didn't qualify her as drunk, despite what everyone else said. Jazz shook her head to try and relieve some of the tension and wooziness she felt. It felt good to be out partying again. She had missed Letty and Leon so much over the last two years that now she never wanted to let them out of her seat.

Jazz placed a hand tenderly on her forehead before laying it on the picnic table. Within seconds, she was passed out.

Sonja paced around outside of the field house waiting for her boyfriend of a year, Tommy, to show up. Butterflies dance across her stomach as she began to think about Tommy's reaction to what she had to tell him. 'Don't think about it,' she told herself as she messed with her nails. The baby blue fingernail polish began to chip. Her hands began to shake. Sonja put her hands down and continued to pace. When she finally saw Tommy approaching, she smiled nervously and walked up to him.

"Hey," Tommy said. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm pregnant, Tommy," a fifteen-year-old Sonja said. She had decided that it was best to get it out in the open. A shocked look crossed onto his face.

He had just finished up football practice and she had managed to catch him before he had a chance to change. Tommy threw his football helmet down and glared at Sonja.

"You're what?!"

"I said I'm pregnant," she replied, softly.

"How the hell can you be pregnant? We used protection!" Tommy said angrily.

He glanced around to make sure that none of the other football players had heard him. The two paused their conversation until all of the other players were in the field house.

Sonja hung her head. "Protection doesn't always work, you know that."

"I can't believe this is happening to me," he said as he began to pace. "This has got to be the worst thing in the world."

"Do you think it's any piece of cake for me? I'm the one who's going to have to carry it around for 9 months," Sonja said.

"Get an abortion," Tommy said as he stopped pacing. By the look on his face, Sonja could tell that he was dead serious.

"What?!" she asked in disbelief. She placed her hands on her stomach as to shield the growing baby from Tommy's harsh words.

"I said get an abortion, Sonja. It'll make things easier. You'll be able to finish high school and I'll be able to go to Duke and play football like I've always wanted to."

"What are you talking about Tommy? There's no way I'm giving this baby up. I can't."

"You've got to or our lives are ruined. I can't have a kid. I'm 17! I'll be leaving for college in a year. This is the most critical point in my life and I can't have some kid mess it up. Get rid of the damn thing because there is no way in hell I'm taking care of it. I have more important things."

Sonja's jaw dropped.

"You don't mean that... Tell me you don't mean that," she begged.

"I mean every word of it," Tommy replied as he scooped up his football helmet. Sweat ran down his forehead. His practice clothes were soaked with sweat and covered with dirt.

"You said you loved me. You said that you would take care of me and that we would get married..." Tears began to trickle down her cheeks. Her perfect world had just been shattered. All her plans for the future had blown away in the hot Oklahoma wind.

"A guy will say anything to get in a girl's pants, Sonja. You know that."

Sonja shook her head and clenched her jaw. She was praying that this was some horrible nightmare. That she really wasn't pregnant and Tommy didn't mean a word of what he said.

"I can't get rid of the baby, Tommy, I just can't."

"Well then don't," he replied as he ran a hand through his short blonde hair. "But I'm sure as hell not going to take care of it."

And with that, Tommy opened the door to the field house and disappeared inside. Sonja felt as if she had just been kicked in the stomach. She sat down on the ground and began to sob. 'What have I gotten myself into?' she asked herself silently.

The door to the field house opened and Sonja looked up. She feared that it was one of Tommy's teammates and immediately wiped her tears. She tried her best to pretend as if nothing was wrong.

"What's wrong, Sonja?" Leon asked as he knelt down next to her. His hair was still wet from the shower he had taken. Sonja could tell that he was worn out from the football practice he had just endured.

"Nothing, Le, I just got in a fight with Tommy that's all," she replied as she wiped a stray tear away.

"Bull shit, what happened?"

Sonja stood up slowly and began to walk back toward the school.

"Nothing."

Leon stopped Sonja and hugged her. He didn't know why, but he felt as if she needed one.

"I'm here for ya, Sonja. You can tell me anything."

Sonja broke down crying. Her whole body began to shake.

"I'm pregnant, Le," she whispered.

Leon's grip on Sonja tightened. He didn't say a word.

"He wants me to get rid of it. He...he wants me to get an abortion."

"Are you?" Leon asked, leaning back to look Sonja in the eyes.

"No! I could never do that to my baby."

Sonja looked down at her stomach. 'My baby,' she thought. 'It's my baby.'

Leon nodded and wiped at her tears.

"I'll help ya," he said softly. "We'll get through this together."

Sonja smiled softly before hugging Leon once more.

"Come on," Leon said, leading Sonja to his car. "I'll drive ya home. We can talk about it on the way."

Sonja nodded and followed him to his car. Leon was the same age as Tommy, but sometimes he acted as if he were older. He always knew what to do and kept a level head no matter what. That was one of the many things that Sonja loved about Leon. He was her best friend and always would be. She was very thankful for that.

Something inside her made her wake up. As she peered around the deserted backyard, she tried to figure out why she had awoken. The muscles in her neck and lower back ached. She groaned as she swung her legs out from underneath the table and stood up. The LA air was slightly chilly due to the small breeze that blew past her. Jazz's teeth began to chatter slightly as she made her way, unsteadily, up the stairs. She opened the door and found that there were people still in the house.

Grumpily, she stumbled into the living room and threw herself onto the couch. She just wanted somewhere to lay down and wrap up in a blanket. She greedily grabbed the afghan that was neatly folded on the arm of the chair and spread it across her body. The music's volume had dropped considerably over the past hour that she was asleep, as well as the number of people in the house. Maybe 20 people were still in the house, including the team and herself. Part of her told her that she needed to go find Letty, but her eyes were drooping. She closed her eyes and slipped into sleep.

Sonja could hear the baby crying as she pulled her shirt over her head. She was tired, oh so tired. Her body ached and all she wanted to do was lie down for a second. She reached over and turned on the water and watched as the water began to pour into the bathtub. Eagerly, she grabbed a lighter and lit the scented candles that decorated the edge of the tub. Once the candles were lit, she turned off the light in the bathroom. She could hear Trey's screams, but they didn't register in her mind.

As she slipped off the rest of her clothes, she began to think about everything that had happened in her life since Trey's birth. Tommy had moved to another state and left her for good. Her father had run out on the family yet again, and her mother had passed away. A single tear slipped down her cheek as she thought of what normal seventeen-year-olds were doing. Most of them would be in school, but not Sonja. She was at home taking care of her two-year-old living off of what little inheritance her mother had left her. She couldn't blame Trey, no that would be wrong. He didn't wish for this to happen. It was her and Tommy's fault that her world had been turned upside down. If she were to blame anybody, it would be Tommy. He was the one that knocked her up and ran off. However, she didn't feel an intense hatred for him like she thought she would. Trey gave her a reason to smile everyday. He gave her a reason to get up every morning and continue on with her life.

But...despite all of these things, she just couldn't go on anymore. Another tear rolled down her cheek. She was tired, physically and mentally.

Sonja stepped into the bathtub and sat down, defeated.

"Mommy," Trey screamed from his room.

Sonja slid down on her back until only her face was above the water. She closed her eyes and imagined herself in another world. One that was so much different from the one she was living in.

The phone began to ring, and caused her to open her eyes. Sonja groaned and slid farther down into the water. Her face was completely submerged by this point. She opened her eyes and watched as little bubbles floated up from her mouth. The thought of staying underwater forever floated across her mind. The sound of the phone ringing and Trey's screams combined filled her ears. For a brief second, she felt as if she were going crazy. She brought her hands up to her ears and covered them, however, she couldn't block out the sound. By this time, her lungs were starting to burn from the lack of oxygen. Bubbles of oxygen continued to leave her mouth. Sonja closed her eyes and pressed her hands harder against her ears. The sounds wouldn't leave. The noise level began to rise dramatically until Sonja thought her brain was going to explode. Her chest ached for air. She opened her eyes and began to stare up at the ceiling. Her hair floated around her face and in front of her. The phone stopped ringing, but seconds later started up again.

'I can't do it,' Sonja thought before sitting up.

She gasped for oxygen as she wiped her hair out of her face.

"I'm coming, sweetie," she screamed to Trey as she jumped out of the bathtub and grabbed a towel. Quickly she wrapped it around her and ran out of the bathroom. She yanked the cordless phone up and pressed 'talk.'

"Hello?"

"Sonja, it's Leon. What the hell took you so long?"

Sonja ran a hand through her soaking wet hair and walked into Trey's room.

"I was taking a bath," she said, fibbing a bit.

Immediately, she knew that Leon didn't believe her. She put the phone to her ear and against her shoulder before scooping Trey into her arms.

"Shhh, it's okay," she said softly.

"I'm coming over," Leon said before hanging up. Sonja turned the phone off and tossed it onto the bed lying next to Trey's crib.

"You okay, Mr. Man?" she asked.

Trey's cheeks were red and had a few tears still left on them.

"I'm sorry," she whispered to him as she wiped at the tears.

The sound of Leon's car pulled into the neighborhood filled her ears. She knew that he was either upset or pissed off and either one didn't make her happy right now.

"Be right back," she said, sitting Trey back into the crib.

She needed to get dressed before she faced Leon's wrath. He didn't get angry often, but when he did, watch out. She shut her door softly and dropped her towel. As she grabbed a t-shirt and shorts, she heard Leon walk in. She jumped into her clothes and walked out of the room. She found Leon holding Trey in his arms with a sad look on his face.

"We've got to do something, Sonja," he said soflty.

Sonja ran a hand over her face and sighed. "Yeah we do, Le."

Leon walked into the living room and spotted Jazz asleep on the couch. He chuckled slightly and brushed a hair out of her eye. The party was over and everyone, or at least the ones that were sober, was leaving. Leon didn't feel comfortable leaving Jazz out in the living room by herself, so he scooped her up in his arms, afghan and all, and carried her toward his room. Once he was downstairs and in his room, he laid her down softly and brought the covers over her body. He kissed the top of her head before stripping off his t-shirt and shoes and climbing in.

Inwardly, Leon sighed. He missed the days when she was happy. The days before Tommy and the path of destruction that he left. The days when she still went by Sonja. He shook his head sadly and pulled the blanket up and over his torso. Things had changed dramatically over the past few years and it saddened him to know that there was nothing he could do to fix the damage in her life.