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At times the world may seem like an unfriendly and sinister place, but believe us when we say that there is much more good in it than bad... and what may seem like a series of unfortunate event might, in fact, be the first steps of a journey.
-Violet Baudelaire, a Series of Unfortunate Events.
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You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole for many years. You have so much to enjoy and to be and to do. Your part in the story will go on.
-Frodo, Lord of the Rings, Return of the King.
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Disgust. Dis·gust. Verb. Dis·gust·ed, Dis·gust·ing, Dis·gusts. To excite nausea or loathing in; sicken. To offend the taste or moral sense of; repel.
Laying down with her husbands arms around her she cried silent tears. She was disgusted with herself. How could she do what she just did? She seriously felt like the biggest slut.
How could she do that?
'Awe, don't cry…" Mr. Rational poked his head around the corner.
'Cry… go ahead and cry, cry until you die…." Mr. Rational cut off Mr.Irrational.
'Hey!'
'What?' Mr. Irrational feigned innocents.
'Don't tell her to cry until she dies,' Mr. Rational sputtered.
'Sorry, it rhymed with cry! I don't want her to die,' Mr. Irrational defended himself.
'Well, use better words,' Mr. Rational sighed.
Kirsten sighed shakily, she had to get out of the room before she woke Sandy. But his arms were so tightly around her that she knew that wasn't going to be easy, or if at all possible.
Oh she felt like an ass-hat.
Ass Hat. Adjective. Idiotic, stupid. To act like a moron.
How could she do this? HOW IN THE HELL COULD SHE SLEEP WITH SOMEONE AND NOT SAY NO? God, was she going to tell him? How the hell could she even tell him without tearing him apart, or her family? What would Seth or Ryan say? She was scared of what Sandy might even go out and door. Jimmy should probably talk to Summer's dad, just in case.
'I'm a balla, high, roller baby (baby, baby), shot colla (that's right),
ain't nobody this crazy (like me),you a hatta (you a hatta), why you tryin to play me (I don't think he know),' Mr. Irrational sang Chingy.
'WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?' Mr. Rational yelled covering his ears.
'You know the definition, of a balla?' Mr. Irrational asked.
'Hell no I don't know the definition, of a baller.' Mr. Rational's expression was to die for.
'Its c-h-i-n-g to the y,' Mr. Irrational chanted.
'Huh? What's chingy? Chino?' Mr. Rational asked.
'HE'S A SINGER!' Mr. Irrational yelped. 'Not a CITY!'
'Oh.' Was Mr. Rational's rational response.
'What is she doing now,' Mr. Irrational asked the rational.
'Sobbing. You would know if you weren't ballin.' Mr. Rational said angrily.
'She better get out of bed, before Sandy sees.' Mr. Irrational spoke again, sanely.
'Yep.' Mr. Rational sighed.
'I like them black, white, puerto ricon, or haitian, like japanese, chinese, or even asian, (okay),' Mr. Irrational chimed in.
'Oh, please shut up,' Mr. Rational said.
So Mr. Irrational hummed the tune as they watched Kirsten cry silently, dealing with the decision of a lifetime.
Decision. De·ci·sion. Noun. The passing of judgment on an issue under consideration. The act of reaching a conclusion or making up one's mind. A conclusion or judgment reached or pronounced; a verdict.
She had to tell him. Somehow. Her thoughts were starting to neb at her. Her heart was being torn in two.
'Oh Kirsten. What a mess you got yourself in honey.' Mr. Rational sympathized.
'You did get yourself in a doozy, cause you had to be a floozy,' Mr. Irrational chimed his two cents in.
Mr. Rational glared and Mr. Irrational gave him a 'What?' look.
But she couldn't just tell him now, not after having the most incredible night with him.
'Definitely incredible,' Mr. Irrational sighed.
'It was pretty good,' Mr. Rational admitted with a blush.
There was no way to even bring up the subject. What was she to do, "Hey honey, um I had sex with Jimmy yesterday. No, no, honey, he sucked compared to you. Yeah it was totally awkward. Yeah you wouldn't believe the places…."
'STOP! Please STOP!,' Mr. Irrational yelled.
That most definitely wouldn't work.
A small shudder wracked her body and she felt him pull her closer and place a small kiss on her shoulder. Sandy was tuned into her needs even when he was sound asleep.
She had to get out of the room, away from Sandy so she could think of what to do, like there was really anything to do. It would break his heart. Ryan and Seth would look at her like she killed someone, she may as well have with the way Sandy was liable to react.
React. Verb. To have or show a reaction. To exert or return or counteracting influence.
She didn't know if she could take his reaction. What if it was that silent type, the brooding with the eyes you broke my heart and I can never forgive you kind. Or worse, what if he just started throwing things…knowing Sandy she should broach the subject with extreme caution.
'Broach the subject? What is he, a warning label on a pack of cigarettes? WOMAN YOU CHEATED ON YOUR HUSBAND, with your ex-boyfriend, I don't think broaching is the word you want to use here.' Mr. Rational shouted.
'Breath, stretch, shake, let it go, breath stretch shake, let it go, Wake these people up and show them they keep dreamin.'' Mr. Irrational sang.
Mr. Rational gave him a look.
'Mase,' replied Mr. Irrational.
'I don't have any mace.' Mr. Rational growled.
'He's the rapper,' Mr. Irrational stated matter-of-factly.
'There is a rapper named mace, and chino?' Mr. Rational asked confused.
'CHINGY! And Mase with an 'S' not the spray stuff.' Mr. Irrational retorted.
'We don't have time to worry about rapping' and ballin' we have a crisis on our hands!' Mr. Rational cried out.
'Well tell her some advice its what your good at.' Mr. Irrational chuckled.
'I think YOU should tell her some advice, YOU were the one who was rooting her on.' Mr. Rational yelled.
Mr. Irrational covered his ears, 'I was not!'
Mr. Rational glared at him, 'Your exact words were, "you go girl!"'
'Well that's because she shut the door on you! I had to yell something!' Mr. Irrational defended himself.
'You could have yelled stop!' Mr. Rational yodeled.
'Okay. You know what?' Mr. Irrational asked.
'I have no idea.' Mr. Rational replied.
'Breath, stretch, shake, let it go.' Mr. Irrational chuckled seriously.
Kirsten managed to climb out of Sandy's grasp and went downstairs. It was morning outside and she sighed.
What the hell was she going to do?
Just then Ryan walked in the kitchen and gave her a small smile. 'Hey."
"Hey, sweetie," she replied.
'Yo, Ryan, my man, give some advice to dis' woman, what's it like to cheat on someone, and then have them find out the awkward way, like with a kid? Mr. Irrational asked.
'That was real smooth butt-cheese.' Mr. Rational chuckled.
"You okay?" Ryan asked.
"Just got a lot on my mind sweetie," She smiled at him.
Pregnant. Verb. Containing unborn young in the body.
'SHIT!' They both yelled together. Neither one had thought of that.
She froze, her whole body shuddered and she felt like she was going to be sick.
"Oh God." She muttered out loud.
Ryan looked up from his book, "What?"
"Nothing, sweetie, I just thought of something," she frowned.
'QUICK! Run down to the ovaries and see what you can find out.' Mr. Rational cried out.
'Oh God,' Mr. Irrational sighed but did what he was told.
This new thought had just brought on a new set of tears for Kirsten. Luckily she managed to make it into the shower before they were unleashed.
What if she was?
'Who's the Daddy?' Mr. Rational pulled an irrational comment.
"Who is the daddy," she spoke his thoughts out loud.
An abortion would be a choice. This time it would be so much harder, what if Sandy found out about this one, the fact that she could have aborted his child. Or what if she kept it and it looked like Jimmy? Then Jimmy would know and he would sue or something, Oh God it was so confusing.
'Well he hasn't found out about the last one, yet…' Mr. Rational sighed.
"Dammit," she muttered.
OR she could have the baby and pass it off as Sandy's. Then how would Jimmy feel?
'He wouldn't know,' Mr. Rational countered.
'He would if it looks like him,' Mr. Irrational spoke.
'Well?' Mr. Rational winced.
'Uh, they don't know much yet. Ms. Ova said that it's a real mess down there, she wanted to know what kind of show your running up here. I told her I had no idea. She said check back in a few hours, they should know something by then.' Mr. Irrational looked a little ill.
Mr. Rational nodded. 'Great. Just great.'
Tangle. Noun. A tangled twisted mass. A confusedly complicated state.
God, she was in a tangled mess right now.
'Lets not jump to conclusions, okay?' Mr. Rational sighed.
'She needs to drink some vodka or something, this is way to confusing. This was supposed to be simple, sex with the ex that's it. Not sex with the ex, then with your husband, then let's wonder about the kid that might magically pop out in a nine months, Oy.' Mr. Irrational cringed.
'Vodka… I could do vodka,' Mr. Rational replied.
Kirsten padded her way out of the shower, and downstairs again, and poured herself a large glass of orange juice and filled it with vodka. Luckily today was Sunday so she could rest in her vegged out state that she wanted to be in.
Veg out. Verb. Vegged out. Vegging out. To spend time idly or passively.
So she sat outside, in the sun enjoying its warmth and the view of the ocean, musing that today may be the last of her normal days.
The last of her happy days with her husband and her sons before everything blew up in her face which it was likely to do.
She wondered how Jimmy was doing? The guy could hardly keep it to himself when he kissed her, now that she slept with him how was he going to handle that.
'Probably not good,' Mr. Rational mused.
'He's probably thinking of you naked,' Mr. Irrational chuckled.
Mr. Rational glared, 'Gross.'
"Gross," Kirsten echoed.
The doorbell rang.
She rose and went to answer it, Sandy poking his head out from around the corner as she answered the door.
'Shit. We're fucked!' Both of them yelled in unison.
A very drunk Jimmy Cooper stood on her doorstep. Sandy didn't realize he was drunk and grinned at the site of him.
"What the hell are you doing here," she hissed before loudly greeting him with, "Hey Jimmy!"
Jimmy took a drunken step foreword before placing a sloppy kiss on her lips. "I want more."
'We're done for,' Mr. Rational yelped.
'That's for sure,' Mr. Irrational added.
Sandy's grin turned into a frown, and he dropped the dish he was drying. He walked angrily to the door and pushed Jimmy away from his wife.
He looked at both of them angrily. "What the hells going on?"
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