A Christmas Wish
The hustle and bustle of the holiday season filled the Oak Court Mall of California, and Christina couldn't help but groan. She certainly did not like going to malls and the fact that it was Christmas time made it much worse. But her purpose for being at the mall made it all seem worth it. A soft smile floated onto Christina's face as she looked over at her daughter Adia, who was sitting in a chair next to her. The four-year-old's eyes were aglow as she peered around the food court at her surroundings. Never before had she seen so many people.
"Come on, Adia," Christina said as she slipped her purse onto her shoulder. The four-year-old peered up from her food and smiled. They sat in the middle of the food court, munching on McDonald's.
"Okay, Mommy," Adia replied with a mouthful of fries.
The little girl slipped down from the table and Christina knelt down in front of her.
"What has Mommy told you about talking with your mouth full?" she asked as she wiped bits of French fries off her daughter's face.
"I sowwy."
"It's all right, sweetie," Christina replied with a soft smile. She stood up slowly and took her daughter's hand. Adia's other hand slipped into her mouth.
"Ready to go see Santa?"
The four-year-old's eyes lit up and her hand moved from her mouth. "Uh huh!"
Christina smiled. "Well, let's go."
Adia skipped by her mother's side as the two weaved their way through the mall. At one point, when the crowd became very dense, Christina scooped her daughter up into her arms before continuing her course through the mass of people. Adia leaned her head on her mother's shoulders and combed her fingers through her long brown hair. Her sparkling blue eyes met Adia's piercing green eyes and she found that she couldn't breathe. Bits of tucked away memories came flooding back in waves. Christina stopped in the middle of the crowd and fought back the tears that were attacking the edges of her eyes. This wasn't the first time that it had happened and she knew it wouldn't be the last.
"You okay, Mommy?" Adia asked with a concerned tone.
With tears pricking at the edge of her eyes, she smiled and ran a hand through her daughter's hair. "I'm fine, sweetie. Let's go find Santa, all right?"
Adia nodded. Christina kissed the top of her daughter's head before regaining composure. Memories that she had tried so hard suppress were waging an all out war against her brain. She was unsure of what side would win, but she prayed that the memories would leave her alone.
As they neared Santa, Adia perked up in her mother's arms. Christina couldn't help but smile at her daughter's eagerness.
"You remember what you want to ask Santa for?" she asked.
Adia nodded. "I only want one thing, Mommy."
Christina sat her daughter down and knelt in front of her. "What's that, sweetie?" She adjust the little girl's shirt and watched with amusement at Adia's eagerness to get in line with all of the other children.
A serious look crossed onto Adia's face as she laid her small hands on Christina's shoulders. "I hafta tell Santa or it won't come true."
"Well, why don't you go tell Santa?"
With a huge smile, Adia ran to the line that led to Santa Clause. Christina stood on the sideline with all of the other parents and watched as her daughter's curls bounced with each step she took. When Adia was fourth in line, a woman leaned over to Christina and asked with a smile, "Which one's yours?"
She looked over at the woman and smiled. "The fourth one in line. And you?"
The woman, who had caramel colored skin and warm brown eyes, pointed over to a little boy who was standing behind Adia. The little boy had soft blonde curls and the prettiest blue eyes Christina had ever seen.
"He's adorable," Christina remarked to the woman.
"Thanks, your little girl is too."
The woman and Christina stood watching their children as they got closer and closer to the man who make their dreams come true. When it was Adia's time, Christina found herself becoming a little nervous. It was four days till Christmas and Adia still hadn't mentioned what she truly wanted for Christmas. Christina had done her best getting small gifts that all four-year-old girls wanted, but she was still missing that one present that would light Adia's eyes up.
"And what do you want for Christmas, young lady?" Santa asked as he pulled Adia onto his lap.
Christina found herself straining to hear the little girl's voice over the crowd around her. Her hand clamped around the strap of her purse as she listened intently.
"I want to meet my daddy."
Christina's breath hitched in her chest as tears fought to fall from her eyes. The woman next to her watched her with a concerned look. Tears rolled down her cheek and her purse fell down her arm.
"Are you all right?"
Christina shook her head violently as she watched her daughter climb down from Santa's lap.
"As soon as Brian gets done, we can go somewhere and talk about it. Okay?"
There was a moment of silence. The other woman noticed Adia approaching and turned toward Christina. "Your daughter's coming, you may want to…"
Christina understood what she was trying to say and wiped the tears away from her face before gibing the woman's hand a small squeeze. "Thank you," she whispered. "Hey sweetie, did you have fun?"
"Uh huh," Adia replied. She took her mother's hand and peered up at her, a questioning look on her face. "Are you okay?
"Here comes Brian," the woman said, shifting Adia's attention away from her mother.
Christina looked up at the little boy in front of her and then up to the woman. She froze for a second while examining the woman closer. It was the first time she had truly taken a chance to look at the woman that she had been conversing with.
"Do I know you?" she asked as she scooped Adia into her arms and stood up.
The woman took her son's hand and walked over to the food court. Christina followed her eager to get her reply.
"I'm not sure," the woman replied once they had found at table for four and sat down.
Christina looked over the woman for a long time before finally deciding that she had met the woman before.
"My name is Mia, by the way," she said extending her hand.
Christina shook her hand before replying, "Christina."
The two girls engaged into polite conversation, attempting to get to know each other better. Christina was unsure as to why she was talking to Mia, but part of her knew it was because she had gone so long without talking to some her age that it felt nice to just talk about anything. Once the two children were busy playing together, Mia shifted the topic of conversation.
"So, what's wrong with Adia wanting to meet her father?"
Christina took in a deep breath and bit at her lip nervously. "H-he doesn't know about her."
"I'm sorry, I just have to ask, but how is that possible?" Mia asked after a while.
"I left him after I found out I was pregnant," she admitted. Unable to look at Mia, her eyes floated over the people in the food court.
A frown floated onto Mia's face. "Why?"
"He just wasn't the type to settle down, ya know? If I had told him, he would have freaked," Christina said, her eyes coming to rest on her daughter.
"He could have changed for you. I don't mean to condemn your decision, but I've learned from previous experiences that men work in strange ways. You never know her father could have wanted her."
"I just can't see Leon changing his ways for me. I mean were just kids." Christina looked over at Mia, who sat in her seat frozen. "Are you okay?"
"Leon? As in Leon Williams?" Christina felt panic build up in her chest. If Mia knew Leon, then he would find out about Adia. She wasn't sure if she wanted that to happen yet.
"You-you know Leon?" she asked, bewildered.
"I've heard of him," Mia replied, unsure of why she was lying to Christina. She decided that it was best to get the whole story before admitting that she in fact lived with Leon and was close friends with him.
"Oh." Christina shrunk down in her seat a bit before tapping her fingers on the table, nervously.
"So Adia is…"
"Leon's." A distant look crossed onto her face, and Mia assumed that she was becoming lost in memories. "She looks so much like him that it kills me sometimes to just look at her."
Mia had to admit that Adia was the spitting image of Leon. She was sure that if she were tell Leon that she had met his daughter that he wouldn't believer her. Hell, none of the team would. But would telling Leon be the right thing to do? Will Christina tell Leon? Questions assaulted her mind in waves and only did they stop once Christina began to talk.
"I don't know how to tell her that she will never meet her father."
Mia's head snapped toward her. "You can't keep Adia from Leon. I don't mean to sound like a mother hen, but I think it's going to be something that you will regret. Plus, it's immoral. Keeping a father from his child is cruel. He's changed over the past years."
Christina laid her head down on the table. "I can't just show up on his doorstep and say, 'Hey, long time no see…Oh and you have a four-year-old daughter who is practically the spitting image of you…' I mean come on Mia, he would hate for the rest of his life," she mumbled.
"He will hate you if you keep Adia from him," Mia reasoned.
She raised her head from the table and sighed. "I don't even know where he is. Besides, what would I say to him? I'm not real sure that he wants to hear what I have to say anyways. He probably hates me. Or will."
Mia patted Christina's hand softly. "But Adia wants to meet him."
Tears slipped down her cheeks. "I'm sorry," Christina said apologetically as she wiped at the tears furiously.
"Don't be, it's obvious that you've been wanting to get this out in the open."
"I just don't know what to do, Mia."
The two girls sat at the food court table silent, unsure of what to do or how to fix the mess Christina had created.
Four days later, Christina sat beside her Christmas tree as she sipped the hot cocoa that was simmering in the coffee cup in her hands. It was approximately an hour until Christmas Day, but she wasn't able to sleep. Adia was tucked away warmly in her bed down the hall and she found herself wishing for the innocence that Adia possessed. Silently, she cursed herself for not following Mia's advice and finding Leon. Her heart ached when she thought of what Adia's reaction would be when she woke up and her father wasn't here. The cup in her hand suddenly became too heavy to hold, and she sat it down on the coffee table in front of her.
The house certainly seemed smaller since Adia was asleep. With a small sigh, Christina stood up and walked over to the front door. With all the chaos of the day, she had forgotten to turn off the front porch lights. The night sky called her attention as she peered out the front window, which was next to the front door. Her hand fumbled around blindly for the light switch, but when she found it, she was unable to turn off the lights. Leon's car was parked across the street in front of her house. He seemed to be debating whether or not to get out. Her breath from catching in her throat as she watched Leon climb out his car. A string of curses floated from her lips as she watched him walk through her front yard.
Christina opened the door, attempting to act calm, and leaned against the frame.
"How did you find me?" she asked softly.
Leon's green eyes pierced through her as he struggled to find the right words. "Mia's not exactly the best at keeping secrets."
The two stood in the doorway in silence. Neither of them were sure of what to say. It had been for years since they had last seen each other and they had both changed dramatically. Christina noted that Leon certainly had changed since she had last seen him. He was taller and his muscles were more defined. There were more tattoos on his arms and the silver chain she had bought him for his twenty-second birthday adorned his neck.
Christina was a different person and she knew it. Becoming pregnant at nineteen, when her boyfriend was only twenty-three, had caused her to grow up quickly. Now she was twenty-three and he was twenty-seven, but they both felt years older.
"Can I come in?" Leon asked after several moments passed.
Christina nodded and slipped out of Leon's way. He walked past her and his scent filled her lungs. It was then that she realized how much she had truly missed him.
"Why did you leave?" he asked once inside, not giving her a chance to speak.
She shut the door before laying her head on it. "I became pregnant, Le. I knew that you would freak out."
Leon walked up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders. "Why didn't you tell me?"
"I couldn't. Back then I was just a skank to you. I was someone you screwed every other day."
She could hear him sigh heavily before backing up and sitting on the couch. Christina turned and leaned against the doorway. "We were dating, Chris."
"Like that meant anything. You had women on the side."
Leon opened his mouth to protest, but Christina cut him off. "It's true and you know it." Anger was building up inside of her slowly.
Leon shoved his hands through his hair. "I would have taken care of her and you. I can still take care of you guys."
"You don't even know her name, Leon. Why would I want you to help us when I've made it this far without you?"
"Well, whose fault is it that I don't know her name, Chris? I know subtlety was never your thing, but come on. Mia comes home one day from the mall and surprises me with the news that I have a daughter. You could have broken the news a little better…maybe a little earlier. I've missed so much already. Her first word. Her first step. Why would you keep that from me?"
"I didn't know that she would tell you," she replied, weakly.
Leon rolled his eyes. "That's got to be the shittiest excuse I've ever heard in my life," he said with a raised voice.
Christina moved away from the door and stormed toward Leon. "Who are you to come into my house and tell me that my reasons are shitty? You were the one that was cheating on me. I was a kid, Leon. A year out of high school and I get knocked up, just like my parents said I would."
He stood up from the couch and looked her in the eyes. "Look, I didn't come here to start a fight. I came here to see my daughter. Mia told me that she wanted to see me."
"You could have waited till morning. It's almost midnight."
"True," Leon said as he shoved his hands into his back pockets. "But I also wanted talk to you."
"'Bout what?"
"Us, Christina."
"Us?" Christina couldn't help but laugh at this. "There is no us, Leon, at least not anymore. Besides, you don't honestly think that what we had then would have gone on to become more, do you?"
"Yes." The word seemed to catch in his throat.
Tears began to well in Christina's eyes. She moved her hand to her lips and swallowed the lump in her throat.
"Mommy," a little voice called from the hallway a couple of feet from the two past lovers.
"Yeah, sweetie," she replied softly.
"What's goin' on?"
Leon watched as a little girl clad in white pajamas that had little Santas on them emerge from the hall.
No one said a word for quite a while. Adia's eyes bounced back from Leon and then to her mother and back to Leon. Christina couldn't take the silence any longer.
"Adia, baby, this is Leon…"
Christina knelt down and pulled the little girl closer. "He's…he's your daddy." Leon smiled as Adia's eyes lit up and she ran toward him.
"Daddy!"
He scooped her up into his arms and gave her a big huge. "I knew it! I knew it!" Adia squealed. "Santa gave me my wish Mommy." Christina found herself breaking down. The small tears that were flowing down her cheeks soon became raindrops.
"Are you staying Daddy?"
Leon's eyes moved from his daughter to Christina, who stood in the middle of the room.
"Well, sweetie, it depends on what Mommy says. I'd like to stay and live with you two."
Adia smiled a hundred watt smile and turned to her mother. "Can he Mommy? Can Daddy live with us?"
"What do you say, Chris? I'm ready to pick up from where we left off…"
The two looked at Christina expectantly. She took a deep breath before finally answering.
The End