John Constantine: Hellblazer
One-Shot: A Drink on You
Note: I've heard the story told to me once, so keep in mind I don't remember who wrote it
I love the night
Makes me wish that it would go on forever
Me names John Constantine
And I need a drink
If you didn't know John Constantine, you would pass him by thinking that he was just a another brit with problems, that no human had time to stand and listen to them all
Constantine was a jack-of-all-trades, an asshole, most believed that he was a thief, some a liar, but to many he is the best of all three. Although he would admit to you that he is in fact only the first three
He traveled in many circles, mostly dark magic
And he was the one person on this Earth that could tell you; yes there is a god and a devil
He would know, because at one time he had pissed them both off
A light drizzle fell on the streets of London-town as Constantine walked the damp cobbled streets, luckily for him he wore a brown trench coat for most of the year.
He pauses, only for a second to light a silk cut cigarette, inhaling deeply allowing the smoke to roll down his throat
Yeah he was going to die, hell everyone is going to die eventually, its how you go out that makes it different
Constantine steps through the front door of a dimly lit pup, the Boar's Blood. The sign that creaked on no wind displayed a pig's head falling into a bucket, black blood pouring out of its neck
Nice enough place to have a pint
He straddled in as if he owned the joint, there was just one other person sitting on a stool at the bar, his head lowered and resting on his arms
John smirked; its only eight and that bloke's already pissed
John stepped up to the bar and ushered the bartender away from his lukewarm dinner
"What can I get for ye'" he growled
John took a step back and looked around; pulling an ashtray from beside the drunk he stubbed his smoke out
"Wot the bloody hell you supposed to be, mate? A bleedin' pirate? I'll have a pint and dab of whiskey"
"We ain't got Irish whiskey in here boy"
John pulled his pack of smokes out of inner pocket of his coat. Pulling one out and lighting it he squinted his eyes at the bar tender
"Good thing I aint Irish then aint it?"
The bar tender growled again and turned slapping down a pint of ale and the shot on the bar. Spilling the lukewarm brew over John's hand, and then he turned away back to his meal
"Wee we knows now why the bar is empty, its wonderful atmosphere" John mumbled
"Ah, he aint a bad stiff that guy" the drunk grumbled
"Ah he lives. Good ting to mate', bout five seconds away from me calling a lorry to come and pick you up" John said sitting down on a stool
"Yeh, he puts up with me, a good man dat one"
John nodded and took a sip of his pint
"Having a spot of bad look are ye'" John asked
"You could say that mate, mind if I bum a smoke off you?"
John shook his head and handed him the pack of silk cut
The drunk took the smoke and lit it
"Just a bit of bad luck the drunk said" the drunk said taking a drag of smoke
"Well I see this place is lively with conversation this evenin'. You wanna tell me what about it?" John said
The man grumbled and sat straighter on his stool
"A man is trying to kill me" the drunk said
"Well that sucks mate" John answered as he took another sip of his pint
"Not just any man, a man I considered a brother"
"Them's the worst kinds of murderers" John replied, "So what happened?"
"Well, we created something together, and disagreed on how things were run. So I went my way and he went his own"
John nodded
"Well years went by and I said no, you know? I helped him create this, I wanted my own fair share of it"
"Understandably" John said
"Well it appeared that I wasn't the only one that disagreed with him, suddenly I had all of these followers with me. We got together and decided that we would try to take over"
"Hostile takeover I imagine?"
"Yup, right in one. Well basically we went to war, both taking heavy losses on both sides until finally I lost. And he looked down on me with his gaze and said, "You may never come into my kingdom again, you and your followers are banished forever"
"Called it his kingdom did he" John said as he lit up another smoke "Buy you a drink?"
The drunk nodded
John called the bartender over and ordered the drunk a drink
The drunk drained it in one gulp
"So me and my mates' went home, and now we still are at war, just now he keeps gaining more and more followers each day. I'm already outnumbered, but every day the noose gets tighter and tighter around me neck. We been at this for years now and I know one day that, he will get me and he will kill me"
"So what are you doing out in the open, why aren't you in hiding?"
The drunk laughed a dry laugh that turned into a coughing fit
"There is no where on this green Earth where he cant find me"
John smiled
"Then you haven't tried Amsterdam then have you mate"
The drunk laughed and so didn't John; the drunk clapped John on the back
"Amsterdam, that's a good one mate. You know you aint half bad"
"Ahh you just caught me on one of my friendly days"
The drunk stumbled off his stool, still giggling
"Well I gots to be off before they find me"
John just sat there, draining the rest of his ale, shaking his head of this insane drunk man
Then the drunk stuck out his hand
"Never did get your name mate"
John took his hand and shook it
"John, John Constantine. What's yours mate'?"
The drunk smiled his eyes glinting
"Lucifer, a pleasure to meet you"
And with that Lucifer turned and walked out of the pup
Constantine shook his head, picking up his whiskey he downed it in one gulp
And all he could think of, as he lit up yet another smoke, was, "God I hate this town"