Thanks Martina! I couldn't have done it without you!
Sorry for the long waiting, I've been busy with studying and other ideas for fanfics have been swirling around in my head, it's been really hectic. So finally here it is, my Christmas present to you.
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Rosemarie couldn't sleep. For some reason she kept gazing at the ceiling. She closed her eyes, but only seconds later she found herself staring up again. 'This isn't going to work.' She pulled her sheaths aside and sat up, letting her feet rest on the cold floor before putting her slippers on. Quietly she then stood up, while searching for her robe in the dark. Once she found it, she moved to the door and opened it silently. Her plan was to go downstairs and get something to drink, maybe read a bit in the book Brigitta had left in the sitting room. When she almost came to the stairs, soft footsteps were coming her way. In the vague light of the hallway-lamps, she could see the figure of a little girl.
"Auntie Rose?" The sleepy voice began.
"Marta? Why are you up this late?"
She kneeled down as the little girl reached her. Wearily Marta wiped her eyes, indicating she had only just waken.
"There are coming noises out of Maria's bedroom and then I heard someone walking in the hall."
"Noises in Maria's bedroom? What kind of sounds Marta?"
"I don't know, it was too soft for me to hear."
"Well let's go and see, okay?"
Marta nodded. Rosemarie got back up and took Marta's hand before walking to Maria's bedroom. When there, she knocked on her door, but when no reply came, she opened the door ajar, glancing through the room.
Maria was making those noises, turning and tossing in her bed. A cool wind was going through the room and the window was faintly clapping into the pane every few seconds.
Rosemarie turned around to the girl. "Everything's fine," she whispered, "You can go back to sleep now."
"Okay …" She answered, not able to hold her yawn back. "Goodnight auntie Rose."
"Goodnight darling."
She first watched Marta disappear in her own room, before walking into Maria's. As quietly as she could, she moved towards the window, then closed it. Next she walked towards the bed and saw Maria was lying on the covers, instead of beneath them, and still in her dress as well. She wondered what may have happened, since Maria probably must have fallen asleep quite suddenly. She glanced around the room. Then her eye caught the blanket on a chair. Rosemarie walked further and fetched the blanket to cover Maria with it. 'No wonder she had difficulties to sleep … a good thing Marta was there so I could close the window.' She smiled, seeing Maria lying there so peacefully now. Then she turned and left the room with closing the door, before proceeding her way downstairs.
Rosemarie was very surprised to see light coming out from underneath the kitchen door. 'Frau Schmidt has probably forgotten to turn it off.' She pushed the door open, expecting an empty room. But Georg was sitting at the table, a cup tightly in his hands and a gaze that wasn't directed at something particular. When he heard Rosemarie, he followed the sound with his head, and then absentmindedly said hello.
"Couldn't you sleep as well?" Rosemarie asked, taking place on the seat next to him.
"No." He sighed.
Rosemarie took the milk that was standing on the table together with a glass next to it and poured herself some in.
"What's the matter?" She took a sip of her milk, then focused on Georg, who didn't look too well.
"Nothing, it's just--" Quite suddenly he stopped, making Rosemarie even more curious.
"Yes?"
"It's Maria …"
"Trouble in paradise, aye?"
"Hmm."
Rosemarie could see he didn't want to talk about it. She just patted him gently on his back, saying "Don't worry, you just had your first fight. It will get better soon enough. She loves you too much to let that stand in your way."
'I wouldn't be to sure about that' He thought melancholy.
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The next morning at breakfast, it was unusually quiet. Normally Georg and Maria would chat about everything, and always trying to involve the children in the conversation, which wasn't very hard. But this morning, both adults just looked at their plate while eating, not saying one single word. Frankly it got on the children's nerves.
"So …" Kurt tried to break the silence, "what shall we do today?"
"Well," Georg replied, not even looking up from his platter, "I'm afraid school comes first today."
Maria instantly looked up, her eyes wide open. She didn't know about his plans at all.
"Aw but why daddy?" Marta asked.
"Because you've been neglecting your studies these past few weeks. Why don't you start after breakfast, then you can do what you want after lunch."
A group of disappointed and bored sighs were let out by the children. Now Maria and Georg weren't the only ones who seemed to be studying their food. It got as silent as before, and finally after what seemed ages, breakfast was done.
The children slouched up the stairs to the nursery with Maria behind them.
"Do we really have to, Maria?"
"Yes Louisa, your father said so."
"Come on, I'll read you from my English book," she said then to the little ones, "there are some great stories in it about pirates!"
"Pirates?" Gretl shivered, remembering all those other stories Louisa had told them.
Louisa ran ahead to the nursery, everyone but Liesl and Maria running after her. Liesl just kept walking next to Maria, her hands entwined behind her back.
"I know it isn't any of my business," she began carefully, "but are you and father having trouble?"
"We're just in a little fight." Maria responded with a dull voice.
Silent, they too arrived in the nursery, where the rest was already sitting on the floor, listening to a story about some magical wand. Louisa had them all hooked.
Maria sat down in the armchair in the corner, her mind failing to follow the story. For once in some while she didn't think or worry about anything. Liesl noticed how quietly Maria sat there, with this absent look in her eyes. She could tell the fight didn't do her any good, and probably her father neither. Liesl couldn't help but wondering what the fight was about, especially since it seemed to have such an impact on the two adults. But she decided to stay out of it. After all, they were head over heels for each other, so Liesl was quite sure the fight wouldn't take long.
After the story, Liesl helped Louisa and Friedrich with their algebra. Friedrich was quite good at it, and didn't have too much trouble with it, but Louisa on the other hand hated it as much as she hated sauerkraut. So she quickly lost her attention which made the subject a lot harder for her. Every now and then you could hear Liesl calling her sister's name in order to get back to the subject.
Brigitta was practising her French verbs, as was Kurt and the little ones were reading out loud in the fairytale book Rosemarie had bought them a few days before, and Maria had to help them with pronouncing several words.
Finally, after constantly watching the clock in hope time would go faster, which didn't help of course, it was noon, and the children hurried down the stairs for their dinner. Maria just followed in her own pace, not really hurrying. The icy atmosphere during breakfast was something she rather avoided, and she guessed lunch wouldn't be much different.
Yet Maria seemed to be wrong. It was much livelier than breakfast. The children were discussing what to do in the afternoon. Louisa suggested to go in the open and hold a search for bugs. Today it concerned ladybugs and beetles. But her idea seemed to be neglected, especially by her two youngest sisters, they had lost interest as soon as Louisa had mentioned the word 'bugs'. The trick Louisa had pulled on them a few weeks ago was still fresh in their minds. She had put a huge cockchafer in Marta's bed. Maria had spent hours that night trying to convince the girls their beds were safe after Friedrich had taken it away. But it was a wasted effort, and eventually Maria got tired, with as result having two little roommates that night.
Brigitta wanted to stay home and read the new book she had only just discovered in her father's study. And Liesl wasn't in the mood either to go outside, even though the weather was pretty fine. Then Rosemarie shared her plans to go in town that day. After Marta had asked if she could join her, the girl was thrilled to spend some time with her aunt. Not long after that Louisa had decided to go too, as Max had asked if there was room for one more. And with him, Louisa had always fun.
And once again, Maria and Georg hadn't said a word. Maria would occasionally glance at Georg, hoping to get some contact, but not once did she catch him at looking back. So eventually she gave up. Georg, on the other hand, was too busy with demons in his head to pay attention to the conversations of the others. He hadn't even heard Brigitta had taken a book out of his study, which usually drew his attention. The sound of the door being slammed, then Maria's soft crying and the thing that made him cringe every time he thought about it … 'I wish Chris was here', it kept repeating, over and over again, in his mind. Just one time he dared to face Maria. At that moment she sighed deeply, a certain gloomy glow around her. A mixture of hate, yet sadness and love too filled him. He missed her already, but his anger overwhelmed him each time Chris even popped in his mind, and it happened a lot to his dismay.
But besides them, Liesl was pretty quiet too. Every once in a while, she looked at her father, and then at Maria. She didn't like the fight at all. Fights were normal, she knew that, but something inside her made her worry, because she too had grown accustomed to Maria and to the way they had been a family. All day she had felt Maria's pain. Strange, and yet that's how it was.
As lunch was over, Marta and Louisa went to get ready, together with their aunt and Max, while the others went upstairs to figure out what on earth they could do. Maria followed the group as usual, but this time Georg was walking next to her in order to go to his study. Their glances crossed and Maria felt her cheeks redden, even though she was still mad. Both adults cast their look to the stairs as they went up after that, and when in front of the door, they went separate ways. In a way Maria couldn't believe he hadn't said or done anything, she had been hoping for it all morning. When the children were studying, she imagined how he would walk in and ask if they could have a little talk, and how everything would be just splendid again. But so far nothing had happened …
When in the nursery, Brigitta took her book and sat down in the comfy couch. As she read the first sentences, the world and the noise around her started to fade. Another world of adventure was waiting for her.
The boys, however, were so bored that they started to annoy each other. What started out as poking each other, soon led to smacking and punching, but in a playful manner. It drove Liesl mad, especially as she had gotten her 7th accidental punch as one of her brothers was pushed her way. Plus on top of it, it seemed to get on Maria's nerves too.
"Stop it!!!" She screamed just when Maria wanted to do the same, leaving the others stunned. Even Brigitta was looking up from her book with her eyes wide open. The room was absolutely quiet. "Thank you."
Maria could sense something was wrong. Many times they've had situations like that, but never did Liesl burst out like now. She waited until the others had found something silent to do, before she went to Liesl.
"Could we have a word …" Maria asked as the others looked up suspiciously, "in private?"
"Sure." Liesl replied, knowing what the subject would be about. They moved into Maria's room and both sat down on the bed.
"Liesl, is everything all right?" Maria looked worried. "You know you can tell me everything …" She continued but her voice faded as Liesl shook her head a little. Confused she waited for the teenager to talk.
"Yes, everything is fine," Liesl hesitated, knowing it wasn't any of her business, "Well no, actually it isn't …"
Maria slowly took Liesl's hand in hers. "Yes?"
"It's just that … Are you all right, Maria?"
Maria looked a bit dazed, she had no idea it had something to do with her.
"I know that I better stay out of your fight, and I realise it may be a bit strange to talk to your daughter-to-be about it, but I'm always here for you. I just hope you know that."
The teenager's concern about her made her smile a little.
"Oh darling," she began as she pulled the girl close to her in an embrace, "I'll be just fine …"
Liesl felt her sigh. She knew Maria was probably right, but she still wished everything would be over soon. Softly she laid her head on Maria's shoulder, enjoying those motherly touches that she had missed for so long.
"Let's go back to the others before they've transformed the nursery into a battlefield." Maria said as she pulled back. Finally she was able to smile a little again and Liesl immediately felt a little better. She nodded and led her governess back to the nursery. Brigitta still with her book on the couch, and the two boys on the floor with their littlest sister in their midst, tickling her gently whenever possible. Gretl was laughing so loud and so infectious, that Liesl and Maria joined the three helping the little girl as they too started giggling. It made Maria almost forget about her misery. Liesl started attacking Kurt as Mariahelped Gretl withFriedrich. Now Gretl wasn't the damsel in distress anymore, she was even helping the girls.
As he sat in front of his desk, trying to read an adventurous book he had taken out of his shelf without even looking properly, Georg constantly heard faint laughing. It sounded so joyful, and he was just drawn to it. Before he knew it, he was walking in the hallway towards the sound and it led him right to the nursery. Quietly he peeked through the door and saw everyone lying on the floor, having so much fun. Even Brigitta had joined in to his surprise. There was nothing else that he wanted the most than joining them, especially as he saw Maria there, finally laughing again. But it was also Maria who prevented him from going in. He just couldn't …
"Stop! Please stop!" Kurt tried to plead between his giggles, but it didn't help much. "Well at least let me go to the toilet first." Instantly they stopped tickling Kurt. "Works like a charm." He grinned before attacking the ladies.
A little while after that everyone stopped, deciding the victims could catch theirbreath again. They just sat there, again wondering how to spend the day. Just then Marta and Louisa came in, bidding good bye, before leaving with their favourite aunt and 'uncle'.
"I know!" Kurt exclaimed after the others had left, "Why don't we play a card game? It's been ages since we've last done so and since there's nothing else …"
"Yeah sure," Liesl answered flatly. It was better than nothing.
"Nah, I'm gonna pass on this one, my book is calling me again."
"Okay," Friedrich replied as well.
"I wanna play too!" Gretl stated.
Maria took the girl on her lap and nodded. "Yes, so let's not choose a difficult game."
"What about Snap? I don't think it's too hard for Gretl, right sis?"
"Aw I love that game!" The girl instantly replied cheerfully to her brother. "Let's ask daddy too!" She sprung up from Maria's lap and ran through the door towards her father's study. Without knocking Gretl opened the door and went straight to her father, who amazingly enough lifted her happily on his lap.
"We're going to play Snap! Please join us daddy."
Georg was doubting, he still didn't feel ready to be with Maria in the same room."I don't know, darling."
"Please?" His daughterpleaded with little puppy eyes.
"Oh all right." He gave in before both went back to the nursery.
Once there, Kurt and Friedrich formed a team at once, and not long after that Gretl asked Liesl to be her partner. Maria just looked forward, knowing she and the captain had to be a team as well. She dared to face him and caught him looking at her. But both refused to smile and soon faced the ground again.
"That settles it then. I'll get the cards." Liesl glanced at the two adults before taking a deck of cards out of a shelf against the wall. When there she asked her sister on the couch if she could keep score. Kurt and Friedrich were already terribly busy discussing their signal, while giving the others suspicious glances as if to say don't come near us now. Gretl pulled her sister into a corner of the room as she suggested their own signal, which could be heard all over the room. The boys immediately grinned mischievously. But Liesl whispered something in the little girl's ear and immediately the boys were quiet. However, playing the game with Gretl was never hard. Georg walked up to Maria and stood beside her.
"We don't have to do this." His voice had a certain sternness, which reminded Maria back of the time she had been introduced to the children.Quite suprisingly sherolled her eyes because it was the only thing Georg could say. She had expected something else, but her expectations hadn't come true all day, so why would it now?
"It's for the children." She said not turning around. She sounded quite irritated and it made Georg silent for a minute.
Next everyone sat down on the floor around the little table, each person facing his or her partner. Kurt glanced at his cards before checking out the other players with a careful look which only he was a master of in doing so. After some cards had passed through the circle, Gretl immediately started twirling her hair around her finger like crazy.
"Aha!!" Friedrich exclaimed as he pointed at his sibling, "Gretl is signalling!" He and Kurt smiled triumphantly, as Gretl lost hers. "Brigitta, point for us … Brigitta!" He tried again as he saw his sister lost in her book.
Maria faced Gretl who still seemed to be twirling her hair. "Darling, you can stop now." She said in that sweet voice of hers. But Gretl pulled and panick started to fill her eyes. "I can't! I'm stuck!"
The boys burst out in laughing at once, but quickly stopped as Liesl glared icily at them. Meanwhile Maria was helping little Gretl with her hair. After that the game went on, Kurt especially paying attention for his two sisters. Then he caught Friedrich scratching his nose, and before the others knew it, Kurt and Friedrich slapped their hand on the table, shouting "SNAP!" And this went on for some time until Gretl got tired of it. Kurt took the paper with the scores on it and couldn't hide a smile. He and Friedrich had wonas they had the most points. Gretl and Liesl had won a couple of games, but Georg and Maria had lost everysignle one of themsince they wouldn't face each other.
Not long after that, Rosemarie, Max and their two nieces came back. The rest of the time the other children listened to what Marta and Louisa had done in town. Marta told them about the lovely dolls she had seen in a toy store and Louisa shared her wondrous story about convincing Max to try out some outfits in the costume-store a friend of hers owned. Apparently he had been dressing up like Peter Pan, Robin Hood, a minstrel and a dame from the 16th century, including a blonde wig and make-up, and so much more.
"He hadpractically tried out every maillot in the store!" Louisa chuckled. "And you should've seen him as a dame! He was parading through the store when aunt Rose stepped in with Marta! My god, the look on aunt's face!!" Her face was all red and a tear even rolled down her cheek due to the laughing.
"I think I was a pretty good dame," Max pouted.
Soon Frau Schmidt called them for supper. By now Marta and Louisa were out of stories, so dinner was as quiet as breakfast earlier that day. Silent and boring. Maria didn't even look up like she had done with lunch. She figured Georg wouldn't be glancing, why would he even bother? Georg, too, was silent. But in spite of what Maria thought, he frequently peeked in front of him to see Maria. He had been thinking a lot that day, and every time he came to the conclusion that Maria was more important in his life than he had ever imagined. But his pride kept getting in his way. Plus Chris hadn't completely left his mind yet.
Not long after dinner Maria put the children in bed. She began with Marta and Gretl's room, while Georg started out with the boys' room, thus without them even knowing it, they were both bidding the children goodnight, but assumed the other wasn't in the mood that evening. As soon as that was over, Maria stepped outside as she was in need for some fresh air. She and Georg had only been in a fight for a day, but it seemed so much longer.
It really had been a lousy day. Maria just felt miserable as she stood outside at the gate, looking at those little fireflies above the water. Slowly the moon rose behind the mountains in the background. Deep down she had thought, or better said hoped that Georg would come to her to talk it all out, but he hadn't. He hadn't even dared looking at her. Maria recognized his old self, how he had been when she first had arrived there. And even though she felt absolutely awful, she was too stubborn to try and work things out herself. How could she anyway? Georg had doubted her and her love for him, and the way he reacted made her feel as if she had done something very wrong, as if thinking of her best friend was a crime. He probably still thought she had rather been with Chris. Could she really marry a man who questioned her love?
Georg had enough of thinking it through. Only the look in her eyes all day proved him very wrong. She seemed deeply hurt. If she was in love with Chris, she wouldn't be so moved by this fight, would she? He got up and quickly went searching for Maria. All he wanted to do was make up and forget the whole thing, because he had made a terrible mistake. It was as if jealousy had taken him over ever since the topic came up, and of course Maria didn't mean the things she said about the boys and Chris in a bad way. The children did miss Chris, but more like a big brother or an uncle. Just like Louisa said, Chris could never replace Georg. And naturally Maria missed him the most, all the things they had been through together … Chris would always be important in Maria's life, but she had chosen him and not Chris.
As he came into the hallway, he had a feeling where she could be. Georg walked to the back, quietly opening the back door and stepped outside, leaving the door ajar. There she was, standing at the gate by the lake. She seemed so overcome with feelings and thoughts. It hurt him to see her like that, and it was all his own fault.
Maria sighed deeply. She heard someone coming closer to her, and even before Georg had reached her, she could feel his presence. He stood behind her, not knowing how to start, or what to do. He only knew how deeply he regretted the whole thing and he just wanted to have her in his arms. Yet Maria began instead, not even turning around to face him. She just kept gazing at those floating little lights in front of her, the gloomy frown not leaving her face.
"If this is how you think about me, then maybe we should cancel the wedding."
Georg felt a hard blow, like he had been given the final punch in a boxer's game.
"Listen …" he started unsure as he moved to stand next to her. To his dismay Maria stood motionless, she still wouldn't face him. Georg glanced at the ground for a minute, fearing the worst, but as he looked back up, he reached for Maria's hand to hold in his, and she didn't pull back to his relief. "Maria, I'm truly sorry—" He hesitated as Maria's gaze faced the ground. He couldn't quite tell if she was relieved or if she still felt the same as only minutes before. "It was foolish of me to even think about that. Deep down I've always known you missed Chris a lot and that you love him …" Maria looked up, not believing what she heard, but Georg went on before she even had a chance to say something, "… as a friend. But jealousy took over for a minute." Maria was back looking forwards and this time Georg sighed. He couldn't even bare thinking of cancelling the wedding, to spend his life without her. And he wouldn't accept it either. "Maria, please say something …" He watched how she tilted her head to face him. Her expression hadn't changed a bit and frankly it frightened Georg a bit.
"Well what can I say?"
Georg moved his free hand up and stroked her cheek. He saw how she closed her eyes very briefly by feeling his touch, it gave Georg hope and somehow he felt that everything was going to be fine again. As he let his hand slid down in her other hand, he kept looking in her glistening eyes. A tear could fall down any moment, but it never came, Maria simply didn't allow herself to cry.
"Say you'll forgive me."
"You hurt me Georg." She tried to stay serene, but Georg could faintly hear the melancholy in her voice. "If it was Chris I wanted, I wouldn't be here now."
"Yes I realise that now. Maria, I love you and I don't want to lose you."
She didn't want to lose him either. Maria tried to say it, say that she loved him too, but her voice let her down. Just seeing the hope in his eyes … Before she knew it, she had embraced Georg. Immediately he tightened the embrace, simply glad to have her in his arms again. She was happy too, but it wasn't yet as before the fight.
Her head was resting on his shoulder. She looked in front of her, not being able to smile, even though their fight had ended. She would need some time to get everything back the way it used to be.
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It might take a while before I'll update, because I'm trying to write the rest of the story and finish it. That way there'll be less pressure and it'll be easier to post it faster. But please don't let this keep you from reviewing, because reviews mean a lot to a writer, and it would be nice to know that my work in this story is worth it.
Happy holidays!!!
AmandaSarah