AN: You all need a break from the drama and angst. Or maybe I do. Either way you will be treated to some comedy. As for the blame: blame Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban I don't get to see until the 26th if not later; and blame Japan for the being late with these types of things; and blame Van Helsing I still haven't seen and won't see until August at the earliest; and blame Irvan for taking a side trip into Lady Esired's fic Monster; and blame Irvan for joining Kuso in both Lady Esired's Monster and my Van Helsing fic, THEART; and finally blame summer and the rains, it is hard to write Christmas in June.

And blame the rubber duck and bunny changing wand on Lady Esired.

Chapter 34

"You're just going to upset her if you keep insisting, Molly," Arthur tried to console his wife who was currently fussing with the House-elf.

"But I've never not made Christmas dinner, Arthur," she reasoned. The elf, Totti, used the distraction to vanish. Probably to the kitchens to prepare the feast ever Christmas Day needed.

"Come on, Molly, dear, let's go up and see if the children have found their piles yet," he said, tugging his wife slightly, trying to pull her in the direction of the morning room decked out in Christmas cheer. "We are guests here, you don't need to make dinner."

"Not that the host is very congenial about it," Bill muttered as he past his parents. Molly shot her eldest son a reprimanding look, the ones only mothers were capable of.

"I know neither of you like Professor Snape much," she scolded, both Bill and Charlie, who had come down the stairs with his brother. "But he has been terribly ill and unable to be a host." The dragon tamer they had for a son threw out his hands and gave his mother the best 'what did I do' look. Arthur felt Molly sign beside him. She had had her own trying time with the Potions Master. He had heard it from his wife just last night. Luckily the Headmaster had been in the room.

Molly had been in Severus Snape's room yesterday afternoon, checking up on his healing progress with Headmaster Dumbledore, when the Potions Professor woke. And from the way his wife described the scene to him, Arthur was sure it had been much worse. Apparently Molly had been standing over Snape at the time, talking to Dumbledore who was standing beside her. But his first sight had been Molly. And to hear his wife tell it, Severus acted more like a reluctant child. And knowing his wife the way he did, Arthur was sure she treated the Professor in the manner of a concerned and disapproving mother. She was use to treating her own children and would likely not change even when the patient was a grumpy, sarcastic professor.

It was his understanding that the professor looked at Molly and asked her coldly, what she was doing there. And that it was Dumbledore who had assured his professor that everything was fine. Which had seemed to be the wrong thing to say. Snape apparently told them to leave. Molly would not go into that further, but Dumbledore mentioned a few things about some yelling. Molly had left at Dumbledore's urging. Also it seemed that Severus would be joining them for Christmas Dinner. Dumbledore was making sure he came down.

"Wait up, little bro!" Arthur heard one of the twins call as they raced down the stairs. "They're not going anywhere!" the other one yelled as he leaped from the stairs to land in front of Ron, his youngest son. Harry was not far behind, running neck and neck with Fred. Only second to Greg and Ron.

"Come on, mom," Charlie said, taking his mother by the arm. "We need to be going or they won't leave anything for us."

And that was how they found themselves in the lively morning room with the wonders and splendors of the most joyous of occasions. Sirius and Remus were already present and tossing out the gifts under the tree to the intended recipient.

"Hey, Harry!" the animagus called as his godson entered the room. "This one's from Hermione." And he tossed a rectangular shape at the boy.

With Seeker's reflexes Harry caught the object and grimaced at its weight. "It's another book," he proclaimed dully, and Arthur had to smile at the playful reluctance with which Harry unwrapped the package. Arthur's attention was soon diverted as Remus called out one of his sons' names.

"Bill, this one is from Fleur. There doesn't seem to be much there. Going to tell us what's inside?" the werewolf professor levitated the small gift to the curse breaker. Arthur decided that the package was much more fragile than the ones Sirius was throwing about.

His oldest son peeked into the wrappings and blushed, a sight that was nearly missed under all that red hair. "That's none of your business," he called back. Charlie had different ideas and snatched the small brightly colored present out of his brother's hands. "What do you think you are doing?" Bill said as he tried to get the gift back.

"Just sharing what needs to be shared. You can't keep it a secret forever." Charlie was dancing around presents and children, causing much laughter at his antics. The twins started rooting for the dragon tamer over the curse breaker. "It's just a picture, Bill," Charlie called over Ginny's head. "Don't see what's so.... Oh. Now I do."

"Give that back, Charlie."

"I don't get it. Why would you be so uptight over a picture? It's just a picture of you and Fleur on some muggle ride with swans.... kissing." Charlie tossed the picture back to his blushing brother.

"I hope I have not missed too much of the fun," a soft old voice announced the presence of Headmaster Dumbledore.

"Headmaster," Sirius called from by the fairy lighted tree. "There's one for you here, too." With that a brilliant red and gold wrapped box went flying through the air and landed neatly in Dumbledore's out stretched hand.

"Ah, it's from Minerva," Professor Dumbledore said, reading the attached card. "It seems she went shopping with her cousin's muggle family and found something unique." The elderly wizard opened the box and pulled out a thick pair of socks. He smiled warmly as he promptly switched the gaudy red pair with the old ones. "I've always wanted a Rudolph pair."

"Sirius!" It was an amused outraged cry from the werewolf. "Just what's the big idea? This is the lousiest gift you've ever given. That includes the time when gave James that bunny changing wand."

"He appreciated it. Sent it for Snape to find later. Thought it was funny when Snape grew white rabbit ears."

"But this?" Remus pulled out a yellow rubber duck Arthur recognized as a muggle toy. "This?" his voice was almost strangled with laughter, threatening to join the rest of the room. "What came over you?"

With a straight face, Sirius explained, "It's not just a rubber duck. It is a magical rubber duck. When placed in water it comes alive. Besides, Gred and Forge gave it to me." The laughter erupted and the twins were trying to avoid the attention. Slowly that amusement died down as everyone settle back to their own gifts.

Over in one corner, the twins were whispering conspiratorially and Arthur decided he did not want to get involved. He would make sure the twins did not destroy the house, but he would not interrupt their jokes. Ginny was giggling and disapproving as she looked on. Ron and Harry were playing chess on a new board, the owner of which was unclear. Bill and Charlie were relating adventures of the year while his wife scolded them for being so reckless. The morning passed in a whirl of chatter and laughter.

Until Sirius Black called out in a true stage voice of concern, "Moony, I think we forgot something." Remus actually looked confused. But before he could remark, Sirius had pulled out a long plainly wrapped gift from behind the tree. A place where no one could see. On impulse Arthur looked to Dumbledore and saw the wizened face and twinkling eyes smile knowingly as though he already knew. Which would not surprise Arthur in the least.

"We figured you could be using this, Harry," Sirius said handing the package over. "It's from all of us." The tag clearly read from the Marauders. Everyone was just watching. "We were planning on giving it to Lily." Slowly, without a word, Harry started to pry off the paper. Hidden within the tissue paper and padding was a Pensieve. No one seemed to know what to say.

It was Dumbledore who interrupted the silence by saying, "I think Christmas Dinner is ready. Shall we go?"

.........................

He knew there were more people in his home than Dumbledore let on. After seeing Molly Weasley he would not guess. Not because he was afraid of the answer, but because he just did not want to know the answer. It was bad enough having Black, Lupin, and Potter there in his family's castle. He refused to believe Dumbledore would add the Weasleys to the list.

It had been a couple of days now, and Severus was not quite sure what had occurred. He knew that Irvan had taken the book. That much was clear as it was no longer in his room. The Chest was still there. He would have to get rid of it soon. And the wand. At the moment both were still in his room, occupying more space then his mind could handle.

And then there were those people occupying Cicero's Keep. The Gryffindors who invaded and overtook everything in their paths. There were five of them present that he knew of. And two should be returning to their origins. Even though he suspected that they had not, making the number, five to many Gryffindors in his house. Severus stood staring at the door to the morning room for a long time. Adjusting to the fact that his sanctuary had been invaded. Before the incident he had not bothered. Not cared. The idiots would be gone soon.

But that was before Dumbledore betrayed him and revealed the problems of Black's mind. He was already working on it and the Headmaster had assumed he had made no progress and divulged the information. Almost getting him killed. Now not only had he to worry about finding a solution to the mind control he had created, he was suppose to teach Occulmency to a boy who would not apply it. And now, he had to add a book he knew nothing about, except that the Dark Lord wished to possess it.

"You don't want to go in there," a smooth voice said from behind him. Only the age old vampire would be so bold. Severus merely turned and frowned at the vampire. As expected Irvan continued without much other prompting. "For one thing, Sirius Black is playing Santa Claus and it appears Albus just received a new pair of socks." That was more information than Severus desired to know.

He stalked passed the vampire to the Library. "I thought you were reading," was his response.

"I was," Irvan snapped back. Apparently his temper was on edge as well. "And I can only take so much death and destruction."

Snape ignored that and studied the strange book. The one Irvan touched gingerly, as if at any second he was going to get burned. "Find anything useful?"

"Nothing you would find useful. Everything supports what I've told you. Nothing that even remotely looks like it can reverse your potion or Voldemort's curse. All I've found are some vague notes. Yours among them. And nothing that would interest Voldemort unless he is interested in genocide on large groups of minorities. Which entirely possible."

"But you've not read all of it," Severus interjected. He knew he would not likely learn what the Dark Lord wanted. But he wanted some idea. And what little Irvan had told did not flow with what he knew of the Dark Lord's plans. Gathering more creatures under his banner.

"Of course I've not read all of it!" Irvan objected. "Do you truly think I would sit there and read that book from cover to cover? I wasn't going to read it in the first place. But you have put yourself in deep enough trouble where you need help getting out."

"I did not ask for your help."

"No, I distinctly remember you telling me to read that bloody book. And it holds nothing of what you seek." Irvan's voice was low and harsh, the raging current of a river. It was a way to express his supreme dissatisfaction with the situation.

Severus ignored the fact that the vampire was complaining about something he clearly disliked doing, and moved on to dissecting the matter at hand. "You have made it clear that the book contains other facts than the destruction of vampires by mention my own notes. The mind controlling elements of that potion has nothing to do with vampires."

"Contrary. Part of the original plan for that potion was to retake the minds of the victims of vampires and the creator had the hopes of controlling the minds of a vampire. The same hopes were held by the creator of that curse. Neither succeeded in their time, but it was thought that if work continued the desired effects might come about. Thus all research is continued to be monitored." Irvan sat sullenly and pour a goblet of red liquid. That seemed to be a common gesture when the vampire was sulking.

Again Severus ignored the action and only appeared to ignore the words. He had truthfully not been aware of the other potential uses of the potion and curse. Now the idea planted, he would consider that line of research after this mess was over. If the mess was every concluded.

Without warning or cause, Severus questioned, "What is this written in?"

"Our own language. Native to the Born Vampires. Taught to all the Turn with varying degrees of success."

"You have your own language?"

"Of course. Not all of were once human. Though it is not uncommon for some of the older ones to know more than thirty languages from various eras in human history. But I fail to see the point of this conversation."

"That would be because there is no point other than my own curiosity. Now, as you have said, you have not finished reading that book. I suggest you do so, then we can dispute the point of what if anything can solve the Black problem."

"And I suggest you continue with your own limited progress. Even recovering as you are should not be too much of a hinderance to your research. For I do not hold out much hope of finding anything suitable."

"Then hold out no hope. But that does not mean for you to quit." Severus left it at that, and stalked out of the library, leaving the vampire scowling behind him.

And who of all people should he meet at the exit but Albus Dumbledore, Headmaster of Hogwarts. "Headmaster," he greeted without emotion as he continued down the hall, intent on avoiding the issue.

"Severus," Dumbledore said, stopping the Potions Master with his voice. "Join us for Christmas Dinner, Severus. Surely it is an occasion where the host should be present." Severus only scowled. Denying the Headmaster was not something one did with a clear conscience. No matter how small the request. He nodded and both moved to the family dinning room.

Which upon entering he stopped dead. The noise was far greater than three bothersome Gryffindors could make. And judging from the sea of red and gangly limbs, there had to be at least nine more. "Just when were you going to inform me?" Severus hissed dangerously. The Weasley clan paid no heed as they went about gorging on the feast.

"Now seemed like a good time," Dumbledore answered cheerfully as he took his seat to the right of the head of the table. With brightly twinkling blue eyes, the disarming old wizard waved to Severus's seat as host. "Have a seat, Severus. I'm sorry we began without you, but you know how children are."

Severus barely contained his frustration and anger. Once again he found himself wishing vehemently that it was possible for him to murder the Headmaster. Even as he suspected a certain vampire was the cause of this mayhem.

............................

AN: If you are a reader who can't get enough of Irvan, or you wish to meet another vampire that will appear at the end of this story, or you like Van Helsing, I direct you to Lady Esired's Monster, a Van Helsing Harry Potter cross over.