It's a Wonderful Life

by louiselane

Illyria question her value in the world when she receives a unspect visit that shows that she is important to Wesley and the gang

TITLE: It's a Wonderful Life
AUTHOR: Louise )
SUMMARY: Illyria question her value in the world when she receives a unspect visit that shows that she is important to Wesley and the gang..
RATING: PG-13
CLASSIFIED: Angst
DISCLAIMER: None of the characters mentioned in this piece of fiction belong to me. They belong to the cast and crew of Angel, especially Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt, Mutant Enemy and Fox.
DISTRIBUTION: Permission granted to WNW, Blue Moon Rising, Gifted, Not a Smurf, Fanfiction Net, Inevitable and Private Poetry Reading . If anyone else wants to archive it, please let me know.
FEEDBACK: Very much appreciated. Please e-mail me at
PAIRING: Illyria/Wesley , Wesley/Fred and Spike/Buffy in the end.
SPOILER: Set after Origin
DEDICATION: To Cara who betaed , to Bel who give me wonderful tips for this story and of course to vagablonde the person I wrote this to Btvs-Santa and to the wonderful people of WFsurvivors and Wesllyria. You totally rock!
A/N : I know Illyria can't make snowing, but I want some reason to snow in LA and we don't know about all her powers so I decide to make a try. Song "Hands" by Jewel. Merry Christmas to everyone who read this ! J

One week before Christmas

It was morning at Wolfram & Hart and as always Wesley was working in his office reading more about Illyria and if he can find anything to bring Fred back when Spike arrives in his office rushed.

"Hey mate, you have to follow me right now! You will not believe this!" The blonde vampire called very nervously.

"Spike? What happened?"

"Illyriashe isyou have to see with your bloody eyes or you ain't gonna believe me!"

"All right. I will."

When Wesley arrived with Spike in the lobby, Illyria was helping Harmony decorate the Christmas tree for the law firm.

"Illyriawhat are you doing?" Wesley asked, surprised to see her decorating the Christmas tree.

"I am helping the female vampire with the Christmas arrangements, even though I still do not understand the point of this celebration. It is pointless, and yet I am compelled to help her. I want to see this three decorated. It amuses me," the blue goddess answer a little bitterly.

Wesley looked at her, his heart broken. He hadn't remembered about Christmas until this week because he'd been working so muchhad he remembered he would have only thought of Fred and how she wasn't here anymore. He couldn't do it. It was so painful for him to realise that he wouldn't be able to spend this holiday with his true love.

"All right, Illyriayou can dowhat you're doing. I'll be in my office; if you need me you'll know where to look."

As Wesley watched Illyria helping Harmony decorate the tree, he noticed that Illyria was happy within that moment. He could see she was enjoying that little Christmas tradition. Spike followed him back to the office.

"What's wrong, Percy?" Spike asked him curiously, although he knew just what was wrong with him.

"Nothing, it's just"

"Come on, mate, you don't need to lie. I know why you're so grumpy today. Christmas is a sad time for me, too. Buffyshe isn't here to celebrate with me. I know you're this blue because of the blue meanie. You wanted to be with Fred, right?"

"YesI wanted to be. If only I could," the former watcher answered as he returned to his sorcerer books.

Angel entered the office asking for Spike, who had crashed another one of his cars.

"Spike! I finally found you! What the hell did you think you were doing? You crashed another of one my cars! I know I have 12 but you are destroying one each week. I can't stand that!" the broody vampire complained before realising that he had interrupted something important. "What's wrong?"

"Wesley is blue because of Blue," Spike explained.

"Ohand because of Christmas, right? I wish Fred could be here right now helping us with the decorations or just making us laugh. I miss her laughit was so sweet."

"Yes. Me too," Wesley replied with tears in his eyes. "Look. I appreciate your help and concern, but can you excuse me for a moment? I want to be alone right now."

"Of course, Wesley. If you need anything, you can tell me, all right?" Angel said with a grin as he and Spike left the office.

Later at night, Illyria entered Wesley's office and caught him sleeping at his desk with his books around him. She started to stare at him sleeping. He was a human that intrigued her very much. Suddenly, Wesley woke up and was momentarily scared to notice that Illyria was watching him sleep.

"Illyria? What? What are you doing?" Wesley asked in bewilderment, still a little sleepy.

"You were resting on your book. I was watching you doing that," Illyria explained, cocking her head.

"Don't do that anymore. It's scares me," Wesley snapped at her. "Why are you here?" He asked as he gathered his things to go home.

"I'm curious about Christmas. I want to know all about it," Illyria told him."Who is Santa Klaus? What is an elf? And a reindeer? And what about the Christmas gifts?"

"Oh. I see you have a lot of questions. From where did you get them?"

"These annoying lawyers that work here. All they do is talking about it. They will spend Christmas with their families and eat turkey curry while their children open their presents," Illyria explained, rolling her eyes. "I'm curious about this festivity. What does it really mean?"

"Well, Illyria: It is a tradition that takes place in many countries around the globe. On December 24th, baby Jesus was born and since then we have celebrated his birthday every year. Families celebrate together on this day with a big dinner with a lot of food and gifts for the ones they love," Wesley informed her while he searched for some book on his shelf.

"And what about Santa Klaus? And the elves and reindeers?" She asked, still curious.

"Ohhhthey are a myth among the children. On Christmas Eve Santa Klaus comes to their houses and bring gifts for the ones that have behaved well. The elves help him in his factory in the North Pole and the reindeers pull the sleigh that Santa uses to travel."

"I still do not understand what this means," Illyria complained, still confused by the Christmas spirit.

"I'll explain to you when we come back to my home. I have what I need back there."

Later when Wesley and Illyria finally arrives in Wesley's apartment. He dropped some of his sorcerer books in the table and opens a bottle of whisky. He drinks a dip before walks to his bookshelf and opens a book. Illyria looks at him with curiosity.

"Aha!" Wesley yelled with enthusiasm as he looked at the book. "This book explains everything about Christmas. The myths, stories, fairytales and all the festivities. I also have some Christmas movies if you wanted to watch them."

"Thank you. This will be very useful," Illyria seated herself on Wesley's couch and started to read the books very carefully as he drank his whisky.

Wesley went to his room and closed the door. He removed a picture of Fred from his wallet and looked at it. It was a picture of her from the night they went to the ballet with the gang and watched Giselle . Fred had looked so beautiful, and Wesley had kept the photo with him ever since she had passed away. It helped him to remember how much he still loved her and missed her. He fell asleep still crying and dreamt about Fred.

The next morning he awoke to the sound of someone crying, and became worried about Illyria. Was she hurt? But to his surprise he found Illyria still sitting on his couch watching "It's a Wonderful Life" on DVD.

"Illyria.what happened?"

"This is a very sad movie. Why do humans call it "It's a wonderful Life" if only bad things happen to George Bailey?" Illyria asked him, sobbing.

"It's kind of a metaphor. He realizes that his life wasn't so bad after all, and that it could have been much worse, as you saw." Wesley tried to calm her. "Waitdid you spend all night watching Christmas movies?" Wesley asked upon noticing the pile of Christmas DVDs on the floor along with "Bridget Jones' Diary", "Love Actually", "Home Alone", "White Christmas", "Miracle on 34th Street" and "A Charlie Brown Christmas".

"Yes. I watched them throughout the night while you were sleeping."

"So, do you understand the spirit of Christmas?" Wesley asked her curiously.

"Yes. It was very amusing," Illyria said with a grin.

"Great. I'll take a shower and then we can go to Wolfram & Hart, all right?"

"As you wish," the blue goddess answered, wiping the tears from her eyes.

Later at Wolfram & Hart, Wesley returned to Angel's office because he had a meeting with his staff about the Christmas party for this year. Illyria was very sad that day; she started to walk through the lobby with Lorne following her as always.

Illyria was also very broody that day. She questioned her meaning in the world, she had been driving Wesley crazy lately because she was using the body of the woman of his dreams and that hurt him so much. She was lost in her thoughts when Spike came to talk to her.

"Hey bluewhat is your bloody problem?" Spike asked her, taking a cigarette from his pocket. Illyria was distracted so Spike called her again. "Earth to Blue! Are you there?"

"I do not have a problem. You are very insolent, white head."

"Come on, blue, talk to me. You can't be that broody or Angel will fire you! Come on; tell me what is bloody wrong! It's because of Percy, isn't it?"

"Yes. Wesley refuses to have any intercourse with me since he destroyed the Window of Orlon and I don't know why. I think he is still furious with me because I killed the shell!"

"WellI can't help you with thatbut you have to give the guy some space. It's still very painful for him to talk aboutto talk about Fred."

"I wish now that I had never been brought out of the Deeper Well. Wesley was so much happier without me disturbing him."

Suddenly everything and everyone froze, and a white mist covered the entire place. Illyria heard a voice that she recognisedFred? She was wearing a white dress and her hair was loose and beautiful. She looked like an angel. "That's not true, Illyria," Fred said with a smile on her face.

"Fred? How can you be here if you are dead! I am using your body! I do not understand!" Illyria cocked her head.

"I'm just a messenger. I came to show you that you are important to Wesley's life even if I can't be with him."

"That's not true. Wesley's life would be better if I had not been resurrected. He hates me," Illyria said with tears in her eyes.

"He doesn't hate you. Don't be silly. He is just hurting because of me. But he likes you. That's why he always defends you and hasn't killed you yet. He cares about you. Come on, I'll show you!" Fred said, offering her hand to Illyria.

"Show me what?" Illyria asked, confused.

"How life would be if you weren't around after my death."

Illyria takes Fred's hand and suddenly a blank mist covered everything. When she opened her eyes again she was with Fred in a cemetery. "Why are we here?" the blue goddesses inquired, very much intrigued.

"To show you that things could be much worse without you around!" Fred answered with a grin. "Look!"

Illyria looked to a grave with Wesley's name engraved on it. "Wesley Wyndam Pryce - Son and Friend. I hope you can find peace now."

"Wesley is dead?" Illyria asked in disbelief.

"Yes, he is. After my death you weren't resurrected. So, after that Wesley went insane and didn't take my death well and killed himself," Fred said with a sad look in her eyes.

"NOOOOOOOhe didn't!" Illyria said in shock, kneeling down in front of Wesley's grave. "Why did he do this?"

"Without you to make him fight for something, he didn't have a reason to live. So that's why he kill himself," Fred explained with tears in her eyes. "But you haven't seen everything. Come on!"

"There is more?" Illyria asked, surprised.

"Unfortunately, yes," Fred said sadly, taking Illyria's hand as they disappeared in a white mist again.

They appeared in Wolfram & Hart again in Angel's office. He was working in his office as usual, reading over some papers with his staff, Gunn, and other lawyers from the firm.

"Why are we here? The vampire is working and brooding like he always does!" Illyria pointed out.

"Yes, but he is different. Wolfram & Hart corrupted him. He isn't Angel anymore; now he is Angelus again," Fred replied.

"I knew it! He could not resist the power that the Wolf, the Ram and the Hart gave to him. I have seen this before with many rulers. But what do I have to do with this?" Illyria asked her, curious about the situation.

"With you around, Angel had a mission. To try to bring me back or at least to try to understand you by testing your powers. And look how Charles is now. He is no longer the same Charles that entered here trying to do something good. The evil law firm has also corrupted him. Charles knew only to obey the powerful and rich clients of Wolfram & Hart. He also changed after I died, and you weren't here to save him."

"I did that for Wesley." Illyria pointed out.

"I know . And this will change his life. He will realize that he has to be on the side of the helpless, like he used to be."

"And what about the clown demon?" Illyria asked curiously, but also a little afraid of what had happened to Lorne in that reality. "What terrible thing happened to him?"

"WellHe began to drink a lot after I passed away and now he is an alcoholic. He doesn't work anymore. He spends all his time in his apartment drinking and brooding about the things he's lost. Caritas, his friends, his life," Fred informed her, sad herself over what had become of him.

"That is very sad. Aside from the fact that he was a pathetic clown demon, I was starting to like him. He was a good friend to Wesley," Illyria said and cocked her head sadly.

"But wait. It isn't over yet," Fred reminded her. "You still haven't seen what happened with Spike."

"That's right. I have not seen my pet. How is he?" Illyria inquired. "Is he also corrupted by evil or an alcoholic?"

"Worse," Fred supplied before they faded away and appeared on the street in front of Wolfram & Hart.

"Why are we here?" Illyria asked suspiciously.

"Look. There."

Illyria saw Spike fighting against five vampires at once. They were stronger and faster than Spike but he didn't care.

"Ever since I died Spike started to do suicide missions such as entering vampire nests and fighting against them alone. See, when you are at Wolfram & Hart training with him, he has something to do. Something to do to help Angel. Now, he doesn't have anyone. Buffy is in Italy and still doesn't know he is alive. So he is very lonely right now."

"I did not realise that the little white head was so lonely," Illyria replied with a sad look.

"Yes, he was. Better or worse you are helping him. Look."

Illyria watched Spike as he fought against the five vampires and then was dusted right in front of her eyes.

"Noooooo!!!! Why is this happening? Why are all the people I care about dying?" Illyria cried. "First Wesley, now SpikeI can not stand this. Please, I want to return to the real world. I can't stand this one anymore. I want to live again," Illyria closed her eyes and said it over and over again. "I want to live again. I want to live again. I want to live again."

"Blue? Are you all right?" Spike asked her when Illyria opened her eyes and realised that she was at Wolfram & Hart and Spike was still there, alive.

"Spike? Are you alive?" Illyria inquired.

"Wellyeah. As alive as a vampire could be. Why?"

"NothingI'm just amused that you are all right. Where is Wesley?" Illyria asked very anxiously and nervously.

"In his office like always."

"I have to see him," she hugged Spike so tight that she was almost hurting him before opening a portal that would take her to Wesley's office.

Wesley was sitting on the floor, leaning back against his desk. His office, desk, and floor were still covered with books and scrolls. He had been just staring straight ahead when Illyria walked in.

"Wesley." Illyria said with a grin on her face. Her eyes were shinning and she was very happy to see Wesley alive and well.

"Illyriais something wrong?"

"Not anymore. You are here," She replied with a grin.

"What happened?"

"Just a weird dream I had. I think I still prefer when nightmares walked with us in my time. This way is just too complicated."

"Good. I'm glad you are all right," Wesley replied and then stood up to look at her. "Illyria, could you excuse me? I have a lot of work to do."

"I will. I have something to do, as well."

On Christmas eve, everybody was at Wolfram & Hart celebrating with a big Christmas dinner. Lorne prepared a delicious turkey curry and everyone was there to eat it. Illyria decided to make a surprise for them and was wearing a Christmas hat. She gave presents to the whole gang, which Wesley had helped her to buy. Spike received a new coat, Harmony a stuffed unicorn, Angel a Barry Manillow DVD, Lorne a ticket to see Elton John live in Las Vegas, and Gunn a new sword. For Wesley Illyria had bought a collection of books about ancient people. Illyria received a beautiful tree that decorated the training room.

Suddenly and to Angel and Spike's surprise, Connor, Buffy and Dawn entered the room.

"Connor?" Angel asked in disbelief. "Why are you here?"

"Somebody told me to come here today, that it was very important. I didn't understand why but here I am. Hey, are you eating Christmas food? Cool. I'm starving."

Angel glanced at Illyria and smiled a "thank you" to her. "I'm glad you are here, Connor." As he hugged Connor he noticed Buffy and Dawn standing right in front of the elevator looking at Spike.

"Spike?" Buffy asked, still shocked. "I can't believe you're alive!"

"Buffy?" Spike said. "Why the blood hell are you here?"

"I don't know. I received a call a week ago that I needed to come to Los Angeles as fast as I couldthat it was very important. So I came and brought Dawn with me".

"Hi little bit," Spike said, smiling at her.

"Hi Spike," Dawn said before hugging him. "It's so good to see you alive."

Buffy and Spike gazed at one another for a moment before kissing.

"I guess you missed me, too, Slayer."

"Yes, I did. How did this happen?"

"I'll explain during dinner. And Blue?" He looked to Illyria and smiled. "Thank you so much for this gift."

"I like this tradition of exchanging Christmas gifts. It is very amusing," the blue goddess answered with a grin.

If I could tell the world just one thing
It would be that we're all ok
And not to worry because worry is wasteful
and useless in times like these
I will not be made useless
I won't be idled with despair
I will gather myself around my faith
for light does the darkness most fear

After dinner, Wesley and Illyria decided to walk through the streets and enjoy the Christmas spirit. Illyria looked to the sky.

"What's the problem?" Wesley asked curiously.

"There's no snow. All the Christmas movies I have seen have snow."

"Wellwith the exception of Home Alone, here in California it doesn't snow, unless we have a miracle like the one that happened in Sunnydale a couple of years back. But snow is very rare here," he explained to her.

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

"Soit won't snow?" Illyria inquired again with a sad look.

"Unfortunately not. Unless you have the power to make it do so," Wesley answered with a smile before noticing that Illyria was very serious. "Can you? Can you make it snow?"

Poverty stole your golden shoes
but it didn't steal your laughter
And heartache came to visit me
but i knew it wasn't ever after
We will fight, not out of spite

"I have great powers because I am so great. I can do whatever I wish. So I could make it snow, as well," Illyria enlightened him before stretching out her hand and with one single move it began to snow.

for someone must stand up for what's right
cause where there's a man who has no voice
there ours shall go singing
In the end only kindness mattes

From Wolfram & Hart's windows, Spike and Buffy stared very admiringly as the snow fell.

"I can't believe this is happening again," Buffy said, very surprised. "I didn't think it would snow again since that one time in Sunnydale."

"I don't know why but I think the Blue Thunder is behind this," Spike replied before he kissed the vampire slayer.

In Angel's office, he and Connor were looking at the snow, too, while Connor opened his present. Angel had given him a Gameboy.

"Wow. I love it ! Thank you, dad! This is awesome!"

"No problem. I'm happy that you decided to come to our party."

"Yeah. It was cool. But I have to go back nowto my parents."

"Can you stay a little while longer? It's still earlyplus, I have a widescreen TV. You can watch anything you want."

"Really? All right. I think I'll stay longer, then."

Suddenly, Dawn arrived in Angel's office, surprising him and Connor.

"Hey, can I stay here for a while? I don't want to interrupt Buffy and Spike. They deserve this time together."

"Suresit here with us!" Angel smiled at her.

"Sowho are you?" Dawn asked Connor.

"Sorryhe is my son Connor!"

"Hi!" Connor said with a goofy smile.

"So, what are you guys doing?" Dawn asked very curiously.

"You knowhanging out and watching movies!"

"Really? Can I stay here and watch them with you?"

"Of course" Connor answered, a little embarrassed.

"Harmony" Angel called her with the speakerphone. "Can you bring some milkshakes and snacks? Thank you!"

Wesley and Illyria were still in the streets watching the snow when all of a sudden a bell began to ring, startling Illyria.

In the end only kindness matters
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray
I will get down on my knees and I will pray

"What is that?" she asked.

"It's only a bell ringing. You knowpeople used to say that when a bell rings it's because an angel is gaining its wings," Wesley told her.

"Really?"

"Yes."

My hands are small, I know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken
My hands are small, i know,
but they're not yours they are my own
but they're not yours they are my own
and I am never broken

Illyria looked to the other side of the street and saw Fred's reflection smiling at her in a store mirror. The blue god-king could here Fred saying, "Thank you for taking care of my Wesley and my friends."

"What?" Wesley asked when he turned and didn't see anything but the mirror.

"Nothing. I'm just happy for being here."

"Yeah, me too. Although I still miss Fred so much."

"I know," Illyria caressed his face before pressing her lips against his. They started to kiss with the snow falling. When they finally broke apart, Wesley gazed at Illyria, who was so beautiful with snowflakes in her blue hair.

"I don't know why, but I think you aren't telling me something. Are you hiding something from me?" He inquired suspiciously.

"I'm just learning about human behavior. How you teach me. You are my guide. Am I doing something wrong?" She cocked her head.

"No, aren't. You are fantastic! Especially bringing Buffy and Connor to make Spike and Angel happy. That was very sweet of you."

"I just wanted to make them happy, besides I can not stand the vampire brooding anymore. It annoys me."

"I'm very glad you did this, Illyria. Thank you."

Later in Wesley's apartment Illyria was watching television again while Wesley was sleeping. A bright light suddenly woke him. He saw Fred wearing a white dress in the bright light. She was so beautiful, like an angel.

"Fred?" Wesley asked disbelievingly.

"My darling Wesley" Fred whispered, caressing his face.

"What?" Wesley began before noticing that Fred was an angel. He started to cry.

"Don't cry, Wes. I'm fine. I'm here to tell you that Illyria is very important to you, like I was to you."

"You weren't important to me Fred. You are important. You still are!"

"I know, Wesley. I know. I'm very glad that you still love me but you have to help Illyria find her way in this world, too. Remember, it wasn't her fault that she was brought back and killed me in the process. She didn't ask for this."

"I know. It was Knox's fault and that Doctor Sparrow" Wesley said bitterly.

"You have to forget that, Wesley. Being angry with them for the rest of your life will not help at all."

"Thank you, Fred," Wesley said, trying to caress her face, but she was transparent. "I miss you."

"I miss you, too," Fred replied before she stopped glowing and became more flesh and human. "This is just a little Christmas gift for you so that you don't forget me," she said before kissing him passionately. God, how I've missed this, Wesley."

"Thank you, Fred," Wesley smiled at her and kissed her again. "This was the best Christmas gift I've ever received."

The End