Warnings: Rated R… This chapter is a bit gruesome folks… ok… very gruesome! Deaths and other such things… you have been warned!
Disclaimer: Inu-Yasha is not mine, let's leave it at that.
Only They Know: Death and Life
By Gabreilla Moushigo (aka Aeki Muffinhands)
Kagome, Kago-chan, cradled her husband's head on her left breast. His arm wrapped around her back, and the other rested on her stomach. She knew his arm would fall asleep and he would regret it later, but for now… this was heaven. A baby… a new baby. They could have children again… and this time they would do everything right… Kagome clutched her husbands head in her arms and listened to his soft breathing. She ran her fingers through his hair thinking of another time…
Their child in her arms, she was a year old. Her name was Moriko, because she was born in the forest. Their first child, also a daughter, was named Momoko, because she was conceived under a peach tree. Momoko died when she was only a few days old, much to her parent's distress. There was no rhyme or reason, they awoke one morning and she had died. Her death had burdened Kagome's heart greatly, and Miroku had promised her a new child much later on… when she was ready to talk of babies again. Moriko was the epitome of a healthy baby. She was not sick, never an infection. She was a blessing to both of her parents. She was going on her second year now, everything was too good to be true, while they continued their journey, the kept her with them, but as things became more dangerous they left little Moriko with Kaede or one of the villagers, but they always returned with haste.
Everything was as it should be… they almost had the rest of the Shikon jewel… the only pieces they lacked were the ones in Kouga's legs. They could get those soon, but tonight, they would enjoy their time together with their daughter, happily promising her that she will have a wonderful new world to enjoy once their mission was finished. They looked forward to the day where they could be together, and no more leaving… no more missions… nothing but time for themselves. It made them happy.
They knew that the time was nearing where they could defeat Naraku, without one piece of the Shikon jewel… surely that evil half demon couldn't have that much power… they would make it out alive… on that they promised. And that is what happened… they survived. No one else lived, except Inu-Yasha… and Kikyo was already dead, so she did not count among the living.
Miroku-san and his wife left Kaede's village, setting out for Kouga-kun's Shikon shards… it was the very last time they saw the old woman.
"Miroku-chan?"
"Yes dear Kagome?" He said after his fashion.
"How many brother's and sister's do you want for Moriko?" It was a simple, yet childish question. That question that held so much hope for the future, their future and their children's future.
"I don't know." He said thoughtfully. "I thought maybe four more would be enough."
Rather than be astonished, Kagome only smiled broadly. "Five children is a wonderful number… but it's odd… why not six children instead?"
"But isn't six a bad number?" Miroku countered.
"You are right of course." Kagome laughed. "We should have seven! Then we will be lucky… right?"
"We are already lucky." He smiled.
"I know." She smiled back.
A week had gone by and they had retrieved the jewels. Kouga-kun told that they he heard about Naraku's castle being just south of his home. They had spent a week looking out that way, and the lead they had was cold. Naraku's influence had been great, but his castle had obviously since relocated. They needed to move quickly now… and find Inu-Yasha and Kikyo… surely the undead priestess knew where to find Naraku. She always knew… because Naraku always tried to find her.
On their way back it was very different, something was in the air that affected their priestly senses. They began hurrying faster and faster, the last day they did not make camp and almost got lost. A band of thieves tried to ambush them only to be pelted with arrows or a quick thump on the head from Miroku's staff. They made it the village, and gasped at the sight.
It had been burned to the ground. Charred bodies littered all over, houses that used to be were but heaps. The little river next to them was running red with blood, bodies floated downstream. However, Kaede's hut and shrine were untouched. "Thank God…" Kagome gasped, running into the dead village. She dared to hope that the old woman had somehow made it out alive. Dared… until she went inside and had to cover her face from the stench. Several flies found their home on the old woman that was perched against the wall, her face drawn back in pain and terror. She had been poisoned obviously. They walked around her face, those flies, one even was so bold to walk into her mouth. Across her shirt, crusted vomit lay. Moriko was nowhere to be found. Kagome threw up. Everyone was gone… "Moriko!" She threw up again, the stench and her emotions ran high.
Miroku finally made it into Kaede's hut, panting to catch his breath. Upon entering he knew exactly was she had seen. "Kagome, come away from here…" He did not want her to see more. From his quick scan of the hut he could not find his daughter… he wasn't sure if he even wanted to see her from the looks of things. Everything was bloodied and dead… the thought of seeing Moriko like that… made his stomach churn with sadness and horror. They had to know, but he should be the one to see it. Kagome needed to be shielded before she broke. He could not allow her to break.
As it turns out… they never did find Moriko in that village. After they had buried the bodies of the people they came to care about, they had not found one baby among them… where were all the children?
Kagome remembered one woman in particular that they had to burry… some nameless villager to some, but they knew her as Suzume. She was very kind to Kagome and himself, but, she was kind to everyone she met, even demons, were they benign of course. She took care of Moriko most of the time, unless she was busy, and Kaede had to take over. "It's the least I can do for you!" She always used to say as they gave Moriko to her. "I will keep her as my child until you return." They buried her with her first and only son, Daichi. He was only six.
"Sleep well, Suzume, sleep well." Kagome cried as she placed a flower on her grave. She was the last to be buried, but they would remember her and her kindness.
It had been a month later, and as hard as it was, Kagome knew that Moriko had died. It was a silent thought between them that maybe demons had done this to the village… and consumed the very young children… and killed the rest… that had to be the reason behind the lack of bodies. They never knew.
Kagome plopped down on a large flat stone, they had been hiking uphill for hours on this craggy rock. She looked so forlorn that it nearly broke his heart. He sat next to her, not saying a word. He wrapped his fingers around her shoulder, the beads in his hands resting soundly on her cloths… but she could feel them… and then she could feel nothing but despair. "Oh! My love!" She finally cried, her arms shot around his waist. Her voice was wracked with emotion. She never called him that, unless of course her heart was overfilled and she could call him by no other name. "I don't want you to leave me too!"
"I will not leave you." He promised, his arms going around her in a tight embrace. Those horrible beads, those precious beads that held death away… bit into her back. She began to sob anew. He sighed, dismayed. He could not show weakness now. Yes, he had cried for his daughter until his eyes dried up and he could only sob... until his body ached painfully… but now he had to be strong. He knew what she was dwelling on… how much time he had left. It never bothered her before; they always treasured their time together. She never worried about him prior to their daughter's death… but they were already on borrowed time now. How long did he have? He thought maybe half a year at most... if he was lucky. He would be lucky to get three months the way the hole in his hand grew.
She began coming to him every night, even when she was fertile. He knew what she was thinking. 'One more child… I want one more child… that's all.' It made him sad to think her heart had fallen so far. He indulged her though, and slowly her heart began to mend just a little. It never truly would, she would miss her baby… she would miss Moriko… just as she missed Momoko everyday.
They had wondered into Inu-Yasha's forest, hoping to find him there. They had looked everywhere, high and low for the scoundrel. Surely they would find him soon. Kagome started feeling drowsy, yawning every few minutes and driving him crazy. He was tired too and they both needed sleep. They had been wondering for weeks without good rest, without a home to go back to. She collapsed finally, trailing behind him. He turned swiftly when he heard her fall. That was a mistake. His vision doubled and swirled as a fit of dizziness took control of his mind. 'We must have been more tired than we thought.' Miroku said in his mind, he tried to steady himself, tried to reach out to Kagome… he passed out. His hand barely touched hers.
He stirred beside her, and sure enough his arm had fallen asleep. She giggled as he extracted himself and wiggled it around. She giggled through the tears. "Kagome?" He asked. "Why are you crying?"
"Because I remember." She said softly.
His eyes looked very sad, and she regretted what she said. He didn't know what to tell her. "It will be alright."
"I know." She kissed him.
"Are you sure about this?" He asked. "Do you really want another baby?"
"Yes." She breathed. "I'm sorry… sometimes… I just remember things that I thought I had forgotten." 'Or maybe… I wished that I had forgotten.'
"I know…" He said into her shoulder. "But you do not have to remember alone."
"Thank you."
They were shackled; he had been awake for hours, being beaten by one of Naraku's minions. She had just woken up, fear on her face. He would take the site of her to his grave how frightened her face looked.
They had tried shocking her awake for a while now, dowsing her with water every so often despite his protests. As long as their attention was focused on him, they would do nothing to her. With her awake now, he worried.
"Ah… the priestess is awake." Naraku seemed to be formed from the shadows. His stolen body was almost as beautiful as it was darkened with evil.
"What are you planning Naraku?!" Miroku was the first to speak. He had hoped his insolence would distract the evil half demon from Kagome. He was no so lucky.
"It's been so long since we have last seen each other… but it was just yesterday that I saw your daughter." His voice was dangerously quiet.
"What do you mean?" Kagome once again dared to hope for her baby. Maybe… just maybe she was alive?
"It was very hard to find her… you bothersome humans look all the same." He gloated. "It took months to sort out all the children from that village." He paused for a chuckle. "Honestly… your kind breed like rabbits. No rhyme or reason."
"Is she alive?" Kagome would have jumped to her feet at that moment, and she surely tried, but the chains around her bit at her arms and neck. Her eyes stung as she fell back against the wall. Her hair fell over her face.
"Would you like to see her?" Naraku asked, a dangerous glint in her eye.
"Kagome… no." Miroku warned, he didn't know what Naraku was up to, but the tone in his voice sent warning bells in his brain.
"Yes!" She ignored him. "Please! Let me have my baby!" She was on her knees, as she pleaded, not caring how pitiful she looked. She didn't care anymore; she just wanted Moriko back… she was back from the dead. She hadn't been dead… she was alive.
Naraku produced a soundless bag in his left hand. A grin spread over his face as he saw that Kagome was washed with confusion.
"Don't look Kagome!" Miroku screamed.
He flipped it over, once perfect limbs fell out… and the trunk of a young body followed suit… a little… once beautiful head with soft black hair tumbled onto the ground. She screamed, her wail so incredibly loud that Naraku almost flinched from the sheer volume. "MONSTER!" She yelled over and over, fighting against her restraints.
"Oh!" Kagome covered her face and broke into a fit of tears.
"Look at me Kagome." Miroku reminded. "Please look at me… I can't stand it when you freeze up like this." He had hoped this might have been over… the nights she would wake up screaming… the days when she would remember every detail painfully. "We're not there anymore… he's not here." But he was… he was back again from the dead… that horrible… despicable... "She couldn't have been real." Miroku said. "He just did that to upset you."
"But she was perfect!" Kagome cried as if that explained everything. "She was perfect."
"I know." He kissed her. "Please… don't cry anymore." He held her tighter. 'Come back to me…'
She clung to him so tightly he could barely breath, but he didn't care. "I… hate him!" She shouted.
"I know."
"How could he take her from me?!"
"I don't know." He felt her face as it crushed itself into his neck.
"How could he show me?!" She sobbed. "Even if it was fake… she died again… she died again!"
He knew… God he knew. Deep inside they wished… and maybe hoped that she was alive somewhere… happy and healthy… just… stolen away. It just made her death all the more graphic and real. They knew… they saw it… they knew she was dead. It helped to believe that it was fake. It kept them from going insane with grief to see their baby… look that way.
"Let us remember other times." He said.
"Other times?" She asked.
"Yes… let's dream of her when she was alive…" His voice was so quiet and still, and she felt that she could do nothing but listen. "Wouldn't it be terrible to only remember her by her death?"
She nodded at that. "Do you remember when she pulled out one of your earrings?" She said finally.
"Yes." He said with a laugh, he turned them over and cradled her next to his body, still hugging her. "Do you remember when she said your name for the first time?"
Tears gathered in her eyes as she remembered. "Yes." He whipped them away. "She looked so much like you… she had your eyes."
"Do you remember Momoko?" He laughed. "She looked so much like you… and she had your eyes."
"I remember now." She sighed. "Do you think they would have loved each other?"
"Momoko and Moriko?"
"Yes."
"I know they would have." His lips turned up. "Our beautiful girls."
"We'll get to see them again won't we?" She fretted. "We are not in the same place as we used to… I just…"
"Of course we will." He answered quickly, lest she upset herself again. His large hand stroked her hair. "And they'll be just as young as they were when they left us… and we'll get to play with them and have fun…just like we promised."
"We'll get to sing for them again?"
"And tell them stories."
"And give them pretty clothes?"
"And put flowers in their hair."
"And they'll get to play with all their brother's and sisters?"
"And we'll get to watch them play."
Kagome's eyes filled with tears again. "It makes me happy to think of that."
"I know it does." He kissed her again.
"I know it was a while ago…" She said oh so softly. "But… I'll try to remember the good times instead of the bad." Another tear fell and he kissed that one away as well. "Our little girls…" Her arms went around his neck. "I want to give them brothers and sisters… I don't want to cry anymore."
"Then let us stop crying…" As hard as it was… they would heal their hearts… and maybe one day they would get to see their children again… and that thought… was a happy one.
Lord… this was a difficult chapter to write… well… not difficult to write but very difficult because it is very sad… I almost didn't want to put this chapter in there… but I felt it was very important for everyone to realize everything going on in the background of their lives. Of course I'm probably being stupid in thinking that my readers might not have been able to handle this… sorry. (Blushes) I guess because I have a hard time handling such dark thoughts… but such is life I guess. I'll try to make my next few chapters a bit happier.
Oh yeah! And I did promise more background into Miro-sama's and Kago-chan's lives! This will not be it… get ready for some more stuff in later chapters… (winks) the next few flashbacks should be leaps and bounds more pleasant and less depressing to read.
Thank you all again for your encouragement.