Well if you wanted to read the whole scene between Tidus and Kairi... There is none. XD Terribly sorry everyone, but I wrote and rewrote that bit and it was just too boring. So I cut it. Instead, you get conversation flashbacks. Joy!
.....................................................................................................
Raspberry Heaven
'Backlash'
Yuffie should have known something was wrong the very second she set foot inside the restaurant. She was early once more, not because of the promise of pancakes, but simply because she felt that if she sat around her apartment much longer, she would start writing her meager little woes all over the wall in permanent marker. And Yuffie's landlord certainly wouldn't have been happy about that.
However there was no cheerful humming or scrumptious smell of cooking food to let Yuffie know that Cloud was there. ...But the front door had been unlocked, the lights were on... So that meant Leon was there without Cloud? Not possible.
Yuffie's eyes widened in realization as she covered to mouth to try and muffle her squeak of dismay. Someone must have broken into the restaurant! And they hadn't even opened yet! What the hell?? As quickly and quietly as possible, Yuffie crept over towards the door to the kitchen, pressing herself against the wall to avoid being seen through the small window peering into the next room. This was bad. This was very bad.
"Cloud, is that you?" Leon??
Shit, they must be holding him hostage. Yuffie bit her bottom lip to keep herself from replying to Leon's call. Poor Leon! All alone and without his Cloudy-bear... He must be terrified... Poor, poor Leon...
These were poor Yuffie's last mildly coherent thoughts before the kitchen door was flung open and cracked against her head, sending her toppling to the floor with a small whimper. Leon gaped at the heap on the floor before quickly kneeling down beside Yuffie, who was cradling her head in her hands, trying to figure out why the damn world was suddenly doing cartwheels.
But there was no worried exclamation of "Are you okay, Yuffie?"
No, there wasn't a single utterance of an "I'm so sorry, I didn't see you there!"
Instead, Leon grabbed Yuffie by the shoulders, shaking her already battered body frantically.
"Have you seen Cloud??"
Perhaps if Yuffie had been in a better mood, Leon's naive stupidity wouldn't nearly have cost him his life.
"What the hell do you mean, you asshole?! You practically killed me, you son of a-- I could sue those damned tight leather faerie pants right off your ass, you little-- 'WHERE'S CLOUD??' 'Where's CLOUD??' I don't know where the hell CLOUD is, but wherever he is, he'll be glad he's not here because when I can see straight, you are so dead, Le--" After flinging Leon away from her and nearly clawing his eyes out, Yuffie suddenly stopped her angry storm mid-sentence, falling back on pained moans and whimpers as she clutched her head pitifully. Occasionally she would mumble a string of creatively assembled curses, but for the most part, Leon appeared to be saved.
"...So you haven't seen Cloud today?"
A snarl came from the curled up ball known as Yuffie. "No, I haven't seen the little shit. Why?"
There was silence for a moment, Leon's emotionless face taking on a tinge of the worry that was building up inside of him. Finally, he let out a tired sigh, leaning back against the leg of one of the many tables in the restaurant as he numbly said, "We got in an argument last night and he stormed off somewhere. I figured he'd sneak back in the apartment later, but he never turned up."
Yuffie finally deemed the world stable enough for her to open her eyes again as she peered up at Leon. Now that she finally got a good look at him, Leon really did look terrible. Small dark circles ringed his eyes, telling the world that he had gotten very little sleep, if any at all, and his hair was messier than usual. Things were seriously wrong if Leon had messy hair.
As she made a mental note to tell Cloud of Leon's condition (for Cloud would be simply delighted to hear about what his absence had done to Leon), Yuffie rested her elbows on her knees and cocked her head to the side, wincing at the bolt of pain that shot through her head due to the motion.
"What was your argument about?"
"..."
"Let me guess..." Yuffie smirked. "He tried to get all cuddly with you, you pushed him off, and the dam finally broke inside our little Cloud."
"...Something like that."
The girl snorted, rolling her eyes at Leon's pathetic attempt at saving his dignity. "Come on, we all totally saw that one coming from miles away. Okay, so you guys got in a fight, possibly resulting in an emotionally unstable Cloud, and said Cloud stormed off. You didn't go after him?"
"No."
"You're such a loser." Leon scowled at Yuffie then, though his evil look did nothing to faze her. She'd long since become immune to Leon's infamous Death Glare. "I'm usually not one to judge, ya know, but for what it's worth, Cloud really does deserve better than you." The glare vanished abruptly, replaced with Leon's mask of nothing, though it was quite difficult for him to keep the hurt look from showing.
Yuffie took that as her opportune moment to turn Leon's hateful gaze on himself, frowning at the man on the floor across from her as she stood up, one arm against the wall to keep her from falling over as the world pitched violently once more.
"Or he at least deserves someone who can give as much as they receive." Both were silent then for several moments before Yuffie decided that Leon had had enough time to simmer in his own ill fortune, just as she had had enough time being a frigid bitch. "Hey, just get me an ice pack from the freezer and I'll feel better, okay? Then we'll try and figure this whole Cloud thing out before the others show up."
Leon pulled himself up from the floor and silently did as Yuffie had requested, returning several minutes later with a bag of ice wrapped in a paper towel. As he handed it to Yuffie, both of them sat down at a table in the front of the restaurant. Morning sunlight was beginning to trickle into the room from outside and both of them knew that it wouldn't be long until either Aerith, Tifa, or Kairi showed up for work.
More silence drifted between Yuffie and Leon, and as Yuffie began to return to her normal self (with a seriously bad headache, of course), she also took it upon herself to fill that awkward silence.
"Listen, I've known Cloud for a long time. Not as long as Tifa, but still. He's never done anything seriously stupid or... well, okay, let me rephrase that." Yuffie frowned slightly, shifted the placement of the ice pack on her head. She must've really gotten whacked by that door harder than she thought. "He's never done anything stupid that he couldn't laugh about later. ...Actually, there was that raspberry farm idea he had, which he still takes pretty seriously..."
More awkward silence. Yuffie was running out of words surprisingly fast. It was probably that fact which caused Leon to also believe that the door may have hit Yuffie a bit too hard.
"Right, right, so the point is that Cloud will come back. It's like that cat... you know... 'The cat came back the very next day! The cat came back; he just wouldn't stay awaaaaay...' Yep, that cat... Come to think of it, Cloud's kinda like a dog, too. He's loyal, playful, and likes to cuddle. If I wasn't a lesbian, I'd so be all over him..." Yuffie sagged slightly against her arm, the icepack slipping slowly off of her forehead.
"That brings us to an importunt isshew... Vy ern't you... tutally crazy aboot... Mm... Meh head huuuurts..." Thunk. Leon's eyes widened in alarm as Yuffie's forehead once again met wood as it landed on the table. "...Ow."
It was at that moment that the front door of the restaurant flew open, Leon whirling around, hoping, hoping, hoping... Only to find Aerith and Tifa standing in the doorway, shock written all over their faces. Tifa was the first to speak.
"...You killed her?! Oh my-- Jeeze, Leon, I know she annoyed you sometimes, but you didn't have to--!"
"Oh shut up, I didn't kill her. She hit her head."
A muffled response from Yuffie shot into the room. "Like hell. Fucking murderer."
"Leon!"
"Aerith, not you too..."
"Actually, I was just going to ask you to move Yuffie's ice pack. It's dripping onto the table."
Another quiet mutter. "Nice to know you care."
Aerith smiled sympathetically at Yuffie, even though the girl couldn't see it. "Are you okay, Yuffie?" She pat Yuffie's back gently before scooping the ice pack up from off of the table and resting it against the mop of black-and-blond-streaked hair.
"Yeah, I'm good."
Silence once again.
"...Have either of you two seen Cloud?" Leon asked.
-------
Yuffie was just tying the strings of her apron when Kairi finally showed up. The younger girl's mouth stretched into an enormous yawn as she plopped down at the table across from Yuffie, resting her chin on her two clasped hands. Instantly, Yuffie noticed that Kairi's hair also seemed somewhat messy. ...What was with people and their hair today?
"G'morning, Kairi!"
"Morning, Yuffie." Kairi gave her friend a sleepy smile as she continued to fight the never-ending battle of keeping her eyes open. Last night's late meeting with Tidus... well...
"Kairi... Um... If you don't want to, that's okay!"
"No, no, it's not that, I was just sort of... surprised. But... ah... yes?"
"But really, if you don't want to go out with me, it's okay!"
"Tidus, I said yes."
"...You did?"
If Kairi looked on the bright side, she could convince herself that things could be worse. However, Kairi wasn't looking on the bright side and it didn't look like things could get worse. ...That is, unless a huge hurricane just opened up right over the restaurant, sent down twenty-seven tornadoes and ripped the entire building apart. Kairi, of course, would get hit in the head with flying-debris-of-doom, and while her senses were frazzled, she would tell Yuffie how madly in love she was with her. Then Yuffie would giggle and say something along the lines of: "Sorry, sweetie, but I'm already going out with Tifa! Hehe!"
Yuffie's voice snapped Kairi out of her sleepy dreamlike trance as she said, "Aww, look at you this morning! You are by far the cutest!"
"W-what?!"
Not seeming to take any notice of the now incredibly-flustered Kairi in front of her, Yuffie jerked her thumb over her shoulder towards the kitchen. "Everyone's totally out of it today. Cloud's missing, Leon's hair is a mess, just like his state of mind, and Tifa's going to blow a fuse if she's the only chef on duty when this Cid guy shows up and last but not least, Aerith has lost her hair bow. You've just got this cute little sleepy look on your face. Unlike the rest of the world, you don't look like a walking zombie."
"...Um... Hey, Yuffie? Is your head okay? You've got this really bad bruise on you forehea--"
Yuffie sulked, covering up the painful splotch of purple with her hand. "Yeah, yeah, I know. I told you Leon wasn't right in the head today. Haha, get it? 'Right in the head?' Kinda like how Leon hit me with a door. Right in the head."
Kairi managed to get her apron on all by herself, tying the strings tight just to make sure that she wouldn't have to retie the damn thing anytime soon. In the bathroom of the restaurant, Kairi glanced at herself in the mirror and blinked owlishly at her reflection. The waitress getup really did make her look a lot older and sophisticated, like Yuffie had said it would.
"Hey, Kairi! How's the-- Ooooh, lookin' snazzy!" Yuffie beamed at Kairi as she opened the door to the bathroom, admiring the younger girl's black and white attire.
"Hehehe, thanks." Wow, two compliments like that from Yuffie in one day? Kairi could definitely get used to working there. "Uh, what was it you wanted to ask me?"
Yuffie smirked, leaning against the tiled wall and crossing her arms in front of her chest. "Oh, you know, just the usual. I was thinking about how tired you looked this morning and then I remembered what your mom shared with us yesterday when she dropped by to visit. Were you up all night talking to that Tidus guy on the phone?"
Kairi let out a small sigh. Well, she really shouldn't have been surprised. She'd known someone was going to ask about it eventually. She's just been hoping that that someone wouldn't end up being Yuffie.
There was no real way to put it that sounded good to Kairi. 'Well, I went to go see him last night at the boardwalk, he asked me out, and I said yes because I'm trying to convince the world that I'm not gay. However, if you're not taken, I would very much rather be going out with you.' Or even better: 'Yes, Yuffie. I am madly in love with this boy and he is my boyfriend now because, up until a few days ago, I thought I really needed a boyfriend in order to prove that I liked boys at all. But instead I just developed a massive crush on you, so whoop-de-friggin-doo, are you happy now?!'
Ah, the world was full of choices.
"Umm... Well... Heh. See... He's uh... I... You know." Because that just made so much sense and all. Kairi frowned. Yuffie frowned. We're sorry, please try again.
"Okay, so it's like this. ...Yeah." Yuffie was just looking really confused right at about that point. Poor Yuffie. The hell? Poor Yuffie? I'm the one bumbling around like a monkey on crack. I think I deserve some sympathy. And yet Kairi didn't feel sorry for herself. She just felt...
Stupid.
"He asked me to go out with him," Kairi muttered. Yuffie's confused look was gone, replaced with one that was simply inquisitive. Not disappointed? ...Why had Kairi been hoping for disappointment? ...Oh, that was right. Haha. How could she forget?
"Soo? What'd you say?"
"...Yes."
"Aww! Jeeze, Kairi, you don't seem too excited about it! Don't worry, though. It's only normal for you to be nervous. He's your first boyfriend, huh?" Dammit, why was Yuffie so perky about it?
"Yeah. He is..."
"Well I wanna meet him!"
"You can... I guess..."
"Yaaay! I know! Why don't you tell him to stop by tomorrow when we open up? And make him bring lots of friends too. We'll reel in customers like nobody's business!" Yuffie slapped on a determined grin as she waved to Kairi before prancing out of the bathroom, the door swinging shut with a thud behind her. ...And then Kairi was alone.
"Whoa, Kairi! Cid's here!" Fwoosh. The door was open, Yuffie was back, and bing! Kairi was alone no more. Rather, Kairi was suddenly finding herself being ushered out of the bathroom and back towards the front of the restaurant where everyone else was already waiting, lined up in front of the man who was apparently Cid. Filing in between Yuffie and Aerith, Kairi replaced the look of surprise on her face with a simple smile.
...Which she quickly erased. Cid didn't seem like he was a smiley kind of guy. O-kay then.
Cid surveyed the assembly of people in front of him before glancing at Leon. "Hey, I thought ya said you had two cooks?"
"...One of them is... sick." The last word came out rather choked and both Yuffie and Kairi cast their own worried glances towards Leon, who simply gave a small cough and returned to his statuesque nature. ...Huh. That seemed a bit odd.
"Okay, whatever. Let's get this show on the road then."
Leon nodded towards Tifa, who accompanied Cid to the kitchen to give a demonstration on food preparation. No sooner had the two left the room did Leon's expressionless mask dissolve into a very pissed-off scowl. And as Aerith, Yuffie, and Kairi all looked on, Leon turned towards the door and uttered six short words.
"I. Am. Going. To. Kill. Him." And with a clap of thunder and a ring of bells, it was suddenly clear just who Leon was talking about.
"--I saw you slippin' out the back door, baby.
Don't even try and find a line this time, it's fine,
Darlin' you're still divine!
You don't love me at all
But don't think that it bothers me at all!
You're bad, honey,
Boy-trap, baby doll, but you're--
You're so damn hot!"
Yes, a very happy Cloud was waltzing into the restaurant at that very moment, looking quite stunning in his sleeveless black turtleneck and blue jeans. Mistake number one? Cloud had apparently forgotten that he was going to work. His white collared shirt and black slacks were still wadded up in a bundle back at the apartment.
As Cloud twirled through the door, singing merrily away, he called out as loudly as he could, "Tifa! My jellybeans! I need my jellybeans! I'm absolutely ravenous! Hee hee hee!" Blue eyes closed to the world, Cloud continued to amaze the small crowd that was gawking at his behavior (with the exception of Leon, who was absolutely livid) by somehow managing to avoid bashing into the various tables and chairs that lay in his path as he danced his way to the back of the dining room.
"Cloud?! Oh no... Cloud." A very worried Tifa appeared from the kitchen with a rather peeved Cid right behind her. "No, no, no! Not now, Cloud!" Eyes widening in terror, Tifa began feeding Cid a long string of apologies, all the while trying to get him to sit down in a chair while Cloud continued to prance around the dining room, oblivious to everything. After finally escorting Cid to a chair, Tifa yelped and jumped out of the way just in time to avoid the flail of Cloud's arms as he spun wildly.
"Yeah, you're so damn--" Cloud's eyes finally shot open just as soon as he tried to sit down. "Hey! Who's in my favorite chai--" Unfortunately for Cloud, Cid happened to be occupying that favorite chair of his. The pride that came from being able to navigate himself all the way to that special chair with his eyes close... Well, that sure as hell went straight out the window.
The room was dead silent. And then...
"OhmigodI'msosorry!"
"Get the hell off me, ya flippin' pansy! Leon, who the fuck is this clown?!"
"That would be--"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a minute! You can't talk to Cloud like that!"
"The hell're you to tell me what ta do, missy?"
"Excuse me sir, but please..."
"Ow! Leon! He hit me!"
"That's enough." Leon closed his eyes, rubbing his fingers against his temples as though trying to ward off the worst headache to ever plague mankind. "Excuse me, Cid. Please forgive my chef here for his unruly behavior. If you would be so kind as to continue your inspection, I shall have a word with him in the back room." As everyone but Cloud scampered away, Leon shot the blond a deadly glare. "That means now, Cloud."
"Right..."
After leading Cloud to the back of the restaurant to Leon's rather small office, Leon inhaled deeply before letting it all out in a sigh. It was all he could do to keep from throttling the life out of Cloud right then and there. But first, there were questions. There were explanations. And there sure as hell was going to be a boatload of punishment for the idiot to look forward to.
"Okay, first off... Where were you last night?" Leon failed to mention just how worried he'd been about Cloud. There was no sense in getting his stupid spiky yellow head to inflate to a larger size just because of Leon's stupid worrying. It was best just to leave the questions plain and simple.
"Umm... ...Out?"
"Out where? Where did you go all night??"
"A Tupperware party."
"That is the worst lie I've ever heard." Though Leon wouldn't really have put it past Cloud to actually go to a Tupperware party, Leon at least had enough sense to know that no Tupperware party lasted long enough to be a sleepover. "Tell me the truth, dammit, or I'll fire your sorry ass."
"Hey, you never do anything else with my sorry ass. I'd say a little firing is looking pretty--"
"Cloud."
"Okay! I'll spill." Cloud paused for a moment, a wicked grin suddenly appearing on his face as he fought to stifle his own laughter.
"You're sick."
"I know. Isn't it fabulous?"
"Cloud."
"Right, right, right. I'm getting there. ...But you have to promise you won't be angry."
This was definitely starting to sound bad...
"I already am angry."
"Then promise not to get angrier."
"Just tell me where you went, already."
"Nooo, you have to promise."
"Fine. I promise."
"Pinky promise."
"No."
"Jackass."
"Jerk-off."
"...That was cold."
"CLOUD. Where the hell were you last night?!" Cloud's blue eyes widened and for a split second Leon was wondering if he may have gone too far and just made the blond cry.
"Well..." Cloud tore his eyes away from Leon, diverting his glace to the floor. "I was mad. So I didn't really feel like going to the apartment or anything. ...I sorta wandered around until I got to the downtown area and... I met up with an old... friend. We talked for a while and when I told him why I was so upset, he said I could spend the night at his place..." Cloud trailed off and mentally ran through what he'd just said before nodding in affirmation.
"...That's it?"
"Yup."
"...You're lying."
"W-whaddya mean? I am not."
"Cloud, you're hiding something. And if you don't tell me now, I'll find out later. And if this something you're hiding would be something that would make me angry, I guarantee you I'll be even more angry then I would have been initially." Cold, steely eyes bore into Cloud's own, locking him in a staring contest that he didn't really want to be in at all. "Now. What is it you're not telling me?"
The dam broke. Again.
"I slept with Sephiroth!" The words flew out of Cloud's mouth in what sounded almost like a sob as he buried his face in his hands. "He was there and he was being so nice and it's not like you're ever that nice to me, so when he asked me to come home with him I said yes and I wasn't thinking and that's why the jellybeans... and... and..."
"You did what?"
"...Do I really have to say it again?"
"You did WHAT?"
"Okay, apparently I do... I slept with Sephiroth." Cloud was becoming slightly agitated by Leon's anger. Honestly, it wasn't like Cloud was Leon's property to look after or anything. If Cloud wanted to sleep with half the damned island, then there was no way Leon was going to stop him! ...Not that Cloud really wanted to sleep with half the island...
At that moment, Tifa flung open the door to Leon's office, sick and tired of waiting outside the door. She'd been knocking on the stupid thing for the past five minutes, but all she could hear was shouting, yelling, and just more shouting. ...Plus, Tifa just had to make sure Leon wasn't killing Cloud or anything.
"Leon, Cid's--"
"You mean to tell me that you stormed out of here, whining and complaining about how damn evil I am and then you went and started screwing around with some old boyfriend of yours?!"
"Uh, Leon, Cid--"
"Well I don't exactly see why you care so much! I may live with you and I may work for you and you may do my laundry, but I'm still my own person! Besides, it's not like you hadn't had the chance or anything."
"Leon, Cloud, you guys--"
"The chance to what? Have sex with you? Please, if I really wanted that, all I'd have to do is walk within five feet of you and blink."
"That's it, I QUIT."
"Well you're already fired! Now get out!!"
"You guys! Knock it off!" Tifa scowled at Cloud as he attempted to push past her towards the exit. "Cid's approved us. Barely. Thanks to Cloud's little show and Leon's temper, the only way I could convince him that our manager and head chef weren't crazy was by bribing him."
Both Leon and Cloud looked at her in shock. Cloud, naturally, was the first to speak.
"Tifa! You don't have to sell yourself just to--"
"Cloud, I game him your stupid jellybeans."
"What?? Aww maaan! You gotta be kidding me!"
Leon grit his teeth, closed his eyes, and took several deep breaths in order to keep from screaming at all of them. Then slowly, very slowly, he said, "What is it about these stupid jellybeans?"
"Oh. Cloud always eats jellybeans the morning after he gets laid."
Silence.
"It's a kooky habit I picked up. Jellybeans help make me less sore. Plus they're a great source of vitamins and minerals," Cloud quipped.
"...Right. Okay." Leon closed his eyes and leaned back in his chair. He was so tempted to just go to sleep right there... Several minutes passed by and Leon heard retreating footsteps and the closing of the door. Good. He was finally alone. Opening his eyes, Leon rested his gaze upon the most pathetic sight he'd ever seen.
Cloud was starting at him with those adorable blue eyes, hand outstretched toward Leon, clutching a slightly crumpled daffodil. Yellow petals peered up at Leon with the same curiosity with which he regarded them. Afraid that he would make the sad little flower wither more under his intense gaze, he switched his focus up to Cloud instead, who probably deserved to wither under that gaze in the first place.
...But he just looked so damn cute.
"I'm sorry, Leon," Cloud said, a slight pout adding to his childish appearance. "I didn't mean to make you worry."
Leon's eyes narrowed at this. "Who said I was worried."
"No one. Nevermind."
"...Whatever." Leon sighed again, raking his hands through his own soft spikes of chocolate brown hair. Damn. It would've been so easy to just hold a grudge against Cloud if only it weren't for the fact that he was just too adorable for his own good sometimes. "Okay. You can have your job back. I re-hire you."
"Yay! So does this mean I get the spatula?"
"No."
-------
Yuffie sat cross-legged on her bed, the phone book open in front of her. It hadn't been that hard to find Kairi's number, seeing as the book wasn't all that huge for the chain of islands. No, the hard part was picking up the phone and dialing that seven-digit number. That annoying little number that kept dancing around on the page in front of her, laughing at her mercilessly.
With a sigh, Yuffie closed the phone book and shoved it off of her bed with her foot, smiling slightly as she heard it meet the ground with a satisfying thunk. Stupid book. Stupid numbers. Stupid and sweet Kairi.
After determining that the entire world was just one big mass of stupidity, Yuffie turned off her bedside lamp and slipped under the covers. Tomorrow the restaurant would open. She would earn tips, which made her happy. She would see Kairi, which made her happy. She would once again have the joy of making fun of Cloud (after the whole ordeal that day, Yuffie figured that Cloud would be extra-early and prepared for work for the next few weeks) which also made her happy.
And Yuffie would also meet Tidus.
She wasn't exactly sure how she felt about that yet.
............................................................................
First and foremost: Happy birthday goes to A Complete 180, by Uzumaki-sama!!!
I know you've all read it and are fans. If you're not... Well, then I'm just assuming you've been hit by a door as well.
Not much to say about this chapter. It turned out really... weird. But it makes me smile and it's getting somewhere with plot, so it's alright. Not to mention Sephiroth was brought into play. Waha. Let's see where we get with that.
The song Cloud sang is 'You're So Damn Hot' by OK-Go. I have dubbed their music as my Leon/Cloud writing music. That is why I can never really be serious whenever I write those two. It's the music. Imagine that.
Tomorrow at five, big things are happening for me. ...Hahaha, remember in the very first A/N of this fic... up at the top of chapter one... I mentioned the watching of But I'm a Cheerleader and all that jazz with certain people? Hahaha... Yeah. You can all laugh at me and throw fruit now. ...It's inspiration for this fic, give me a break! ...No one is understanding me. ...I think I need sleep...
--Ori