Raspberry Heaven

'The Swimmer'

            Sunday morning broke on Destiny Islands with the promise of rain later on, thick gray clouds hanging drearily in the sky.  All in all, the islanders mostly remained inside all day, not daring enough to brave the possibly-rainy weather headed their way.  This meant that in its second week of business, Leon's Polar Eclipse found itself empty.  Empty... except for its employees.  Yes, the Polar Eclipse had fine workers, no doubt willing to brave the worst hurricane of the season in order to get to work and feed the hungry souls of the islands.

            "Man, this sucks," Yuffie whined.  "No one's gonna be here..."  Her voice trailed off into a muffled complaint as she folded her arms around her head, resting on the table in front of her.  Kairi shot her friend a small and sympathetic smile, though she personally didn't have a problem with the quiet day at the restaurant.  No one else seemed to either... well, besides Yuffie.

            And perhaps Leon.

            "So anyways Leon, I was thinking that such a cold and miserable day calls for a nice warm fire.  Whaddya say?  We can break out some wine and lounge in front of the fireplace, and if it's still too cold for you, I can warm you up a--"

            Leon simply glared icily at him, folding his arms across his chest.  "You're terrible at pickup lines."

            Cloud sulked for a moment before tossing the brunette a wicked smirk.  "I've got worse.  You wanna hear 'em?"

            "Cloud, I thought you were still hooked up with that Sephiroth guy?" Yuffie piped up.  Cloud's love life (or rather, the lack thereof) was apparently enough to pull her out of her Sunday morning slump.  Any chance to pick on the blond was usually enough to do that.

            "Of course not!  That was so a one-time deal."

            "Oh really?  Then why do you keep going to--"

            At that, Cloud sprung on poor Leon, wrapping his arms protectively around the taller man's shoulders despite Leon's feeble attempts at freedom.  "Leon knows my heart belongs ooonly to him.  Isn't that right, Leon?"

            "Get....off....me...."

            The girls in the room giggled at Cloud's antics, though they only managed to last for so long before Leon really did break free from Cloud's death-hold and proceeded to whack the blond rather sharply on the back of the head.  However, doing that only caused Leon to choke back a yelp and cradle his hand against his chest, frowning at Cloud as he scooted uneasily away from the loveable leech.

            "What happened?!"

            "...Your hair... stabbed me."

            "...Hey, I don't use gel."

            Tifa cocked her head to the side, studying Cloud carefully from across the room.  "Maybe it's like... some sort of defense mechanism."  Aerith nodded her head sagely in agreement as Kairi and Yuffie continued to watch the scene unfold with amusement scrawled all over their faces.

            "Hey, I'm not a robot."

            "You're right.  Some scientist would have to be a total crackpot to make a robot that can only think about sex."

            "HEY!!!"

            "I'm sure they've already made those, Tifa."

            "Aerith?!  You're not supposed to side with her!"

            "Don't listen to the sexbot, Aerith."

            "...I hate you."

            Glancing at her watch, Yuffie turned to Kairi with a grin and said, "Hey, work's gonna be done in two hours.  Wanna do something afterwards?"

            Though Kairi opened her mouth to respond, nothing intelligent (like, for example, words) came out.  Shaking her head the auburn haired girl gave a small cough and smiled innocently at Yuffie as though nothing were the slightest bit wrong.  "Erm...  Eh.... L-li-like what?"

            Yuffie either didn't pick up the sudden blush, stutter, and cough, or she just didn't pay any mind to them.  "Ohhh, I dunno...  We could... I don't know!  Come on, you've lived here longer than any of us.  What do you guys do for fun around here?"

            "Well..." Kairi thought long and hard, trying to select activities that wouldn't bore Yuffie out of her mind.  Although Kairi was content spending hour after hour out on the old paopu island just thinking or talking with someone... well, she had a feeling that Yuffie just wouldn't fly for that.  "Sometimes we go swimming.  There's a roller skating rink not far from here...  There's the mall, the ice cream parlor, the secre-- err...  Um.  Well, there's the old island where a bunch of us used to play when we were kids."

            The last item on Kairi's list obviously sparked Yuffie's interest, because she leaned forward towards the smaller girl, excitement twinkling in her brown eyes.  Nearly yelping and falling off of her chair due to the suddenly closed distance between the two of them, Kairi simply settled for clutching the seat of her chair until her knuckles practically glowed white.  Definitely need to remember to get these stupid hormones in check.  Or whatever.  Perhaps I need to take a sedative if I know I'm going to be around Yuffie for any extended period of time.

            "Aww!  You guys had an entire island to play on when you were kids??  Man, I would've killed for that.  What'd you guys do over there?  Sheesh, a whole friggin' island..."

            Surprised that someone would take such an interest in her childhood like that Kairi laughed nervously before hesitantly launching into a brief and hopefully-not-too-boring summary of the little play island she still clearly remembered.  Of course, it helped that some of them still returned to the island every once in a while, but most of Kairi and her friends had long since given up the quaint play island for the bustle of the larger main island.

            "I used to play with Riku and Sora a lot...  Uh, sometimes Selphie and I collected seashells and made necklaces and stuff out of them.  There was a zip-wire, too, and a treehouse...  We made a raft once, but we were just kids, so it didn't really turn out too well.  A storm wrecked it anyway and I guess we just never got around to rebuilding it.  There's the paopu island..."

            "Paopu?"

            Please, someone label me an idiot...  Kairi's eyes flicked nervously around the room, refusing to come to rest on the girl in front of her who simply had no idea what a paopu fruit was.  In was an innocent question, of course.  Don't be stupid, Kairi.  Sheesh.  Paranoid freak.  "A... uh... paopu fruit.  It's a... er.... a, a, a, it's a... star-shaped fruit and... you know... there's this really stupid legend about it.  I-I don't believe it or anything!  But if two people... if they share a paopu fruit then... eh... um... theirdestiniesbecomeintertwinedforeverorsomethinglikethat.  Yeah."

            Kairi had no idea how anything could possibly have made sense out of that jumble of words that just flew out of her mouth.  Right away, she could tell that almost everyone in the room was very baffled, to say the least.  Everyone except Yuffie, master of speed-talking and... apparently equipped with a very good pair of ears. 

            "It intertwines their destinies?"  Yuffie's eyes widened, filling with childish glee at such an idea.  The rest of the room's occupants nodded slowly, now understanding what Kairi had been babbling on about.  Well that was just great.  "Are you serious??  That's so sweet!  I wish I could try one..."  As though the thought had suddenly leapt into Yuffie's head full-force, she jolted backwards, studying Kairi with an alarmed expression.  "Have you ever tried it?!"

            "Ah!  Uh, no!  No, no, no!  Hehehe, not me!  Haha, nooo.  Never!"  Kairi was certainly aware that she was sounding like a spastic poodle jacked up on something, but there was absolutely nothing she could do about it.  However, Yuffie seemed very satisfied with her answer and smiled, seeming to ease up slightly in her chair.

            "Good.  Little kids shouldn't be messing around with destinies and stuff like that."  Rethinking her words, Yuffie immediately corrected herself.  "Not that you're a little kid or anything!  Just that back then you were, right?  I mean, you only wanna be tied to someone's destiny if you're way serious about 'em, right?  Or if you never want to lose your friendship with them?"

            Suddenly, Kairi was struck with a small tidal wave of things she could say to that.  She was almost one hundred percent certain that Riku and Sora had shared a paopu fruit.  There was practically no way that they hadn't by that point.  Yes, intertwining destinies and whatnot was a very romantic idea, but just as Yuffie had pointed out, there was an element of eternal friendship in there too.  I know I shouldn't be thinking it, but I wonder why I never got to share a paopu with Riku and Sora...  Though she knew the boys would always hold that special sort of love for one another, what about friendship? 

            Hell, what about Kairi?? 

            Wow, I'm selfish...

            "Kairi, you okay?"  Yuffie looked at Kairi with concern, hoping she hadn't said something offensive or stupid. 

            "Huh?  Oh yeah, I'm fine.  Sorry just... trailed off for a minute there."

            "No problem.  So can we go there after work?  Pleeease?"  How on earth could Kairi possibly back down from the pleading look Yuffie was giving her?

            "Sure..."

            "Yes!"

            Leon spoke up from across the room where he still stood a safe distance away from Cloud who was still rather peeved by the whole 'Let's all gang up and make fun of Cloud' business that the day had brought.  "You know, if you two really want to, you can leave early.  We certainly won't get much more that a handful of customers to day, if even that."

            No sooner had the words left his mouth did Yuffie fly out of her chair, untying her apron and zipping off towards the back of the restaurant in a flash, disappearing momentarily behind the beaded curtain of snowflakes only to appear a moment later and snatch Kairi's apron from the surprised girl herself, lunging once again into the back room to hand the apron up.  The whole ordeal probably took less than five seconds tops, and as Yuffie ushered the more-than-just-slightly-confused Kairi out the door, she threw a cheerful goodbye over her shoulder in a bundle of words.

            "Thanks Leeeon!  Byeeee!  Haha, suckers!"

            The restaurant sat in silence until all of its workers were certain that Yuffie and Kairi were well on their way towards the docks.  Finally, Tifa tucked her hands into the pocket of her apron, spinning around to face the other with a triumphant smirk on her face.

            "I told you there's something going on between those two."

            "Personally, I think it's very sweet.  But... isn't Yuffie a bit old for Kairi?" Aerith asked timidly.  She didn't want to burst anyone's bubble, but the last thing she wanted to see was for both Kairi and Yuffie to end up getting hurt.  Of course, that was assuming that anything ever happened between the two aside from friendship.

            Leon nodded slowly, a grim expression settling over his features.  "It would be like a freshman in high school dating a senior."

            Cloud scowled at both Leon and Aerith (though his scowl instantly softened when focusing on the girl, for it was quite a challenge for anyone to scowl at her with much intensity) before putting in his two cents with pride.  "Or it could be like a twenty year old going out with a twenty-three year old.  And there's nothing wrong with that."

            Tifa proceeded to agree with Cloud, and before any of them knew it, the restaurant had turned into a debate hall, the issue at hand being the possible relationship that could grow between two of their coworkers and friends. 

            "But Kairi's just a junior.  Yuffie's already gone to... well, dropped out of college.  It would be hard for them to keep anything going."

            "Especially when school started back up for Kairi."

            "Hey, there's no way some silly little three-year age difference is gonna interfere with true love."

            "Exactly!  Besides.  Tifa's parents are fifty and fifty-three.  You're like... denying her legitimate...ness... as a child!"

            "...What?  They never said that, Cloud!  That doesn't even make sense!"

            "But you are saying that Kairi and Yuffie can't have children, right?"

            "Kairi's sixteen, Cloud!"

            "...Besides, it's not physically possible."

            "Actually, there are ways..."

            "I really don't need to be hearing this."

            "Heh, Tifa's an illegitimate child."

            "Cloud!  Knock it off!"

-------

            If Yuffie had assumed that the play island Kairi had talked about would be perfect and seemingly untouched by the adult population of the island... She was definitely right. 

            Kairi had dragged out her old boat that she used whenever she still went back to the island, and though the small craft was probably only intended to hold one person, both her and Yuffie had somehow managed to fit.  Of course, it had resulted in rather close quarters and Kairi was relieved to finally get off the little boat and hop onto the small deck of the island.

            "Wow!  Would you look at this place?!"  Yuffie laughed with delight, pulling off her shoes and socks.  And rather than clambering up onto the dock, she simply jumped out of the boat, splashing into the crystal clear waters surrounding the island.  Peering down at the older girl, Kairi couldn't help but laugh at the sight of Yuffie splashing around like some ten year old, basking in the glory of the pristine island and its surroundings.

            "So you're telling me you spent your entire childhood playing around here?" Yuffie asked, staring at her feet through the water and wiggling her toes.  A small silver fish streaked past her in the water, causing her grin to widen even more.  Kairi sat down on the edge of the old dock, following Yuffie's example and removing her black shoes and socks.  Both of them were still dressed in their black and white clothes from work and Kairi had a feeling that the sand and splashed salt water wouldn't really do the clothes any good.  Oh well, screw the clothes. 

           

            "Pretty much.  I mean, I guess none of the places back at home were really all that interesting to us, so we got out parents to help us set this whole place up.  I guess we stopped coming here all the time just a couple years ago, when the mall and everything else started to look like more fun."

            "So is it?"

            Kairi's eyebrows drew together slightly as she blinked at Yuffie.  "Huh?"

            Yuffie leisurely place her hands behind her head, wading in circles in the shallow waters of the beach, the small wake she left behind causing Kairi's little boat to bob slightly in the water, though not disturbing much else.  "You know...  Is it really more fun?  Malls and ice cream parlors are great and everything, but..."  Yuffie shrugged.  "I dunno.  Maybe it's just me?"

            But Kairi smiled again and shook her head, her feet swinging lazily back and forth over the edge of the dock as she thought for a moment before finally giving her simple response.  "I guess I thought it would be, but I miss this place a lot.  We spent a lot of time here... before we decided it was time for us to grow up"

            "Growing up is for losers!  Come on, Kairi, you love this place, don't you?"

            Kairi laughed lightly, pulling knees up towards her chin.  "Yeah.  I really do."

            "Well alright then!"  Yuffie ran around to the other side of the dock, ocean water spraying out around her in little silver fireworks.  "Operation Relive Kairi's Childhood shall commence!  What's one thing you remember most?"

            "I used to watch Sora and Riku spar a lot, but..."

            "Watching, watching... You never tried it yourself?"  Yuffie placed her hands on her hips and frowned at the younger girl, nearly causing Kairi to wince at the sudden action.

            "Well... no... not really.  I mean, I don't know how to--"

            "Haha, me either!  But we can learn!"

            Kairi laughed and stood up from the dock.  She couldn't help but feel happy in Yuffie's presence because Yuffie herself was always just so... well, she was just happy.  Alright, so even Kairi knew that no one could be happy twenty four hours a day, but Yuffie sure seemed to do a pretty good job of it anyway. 

            "I don't know if their swords are here anymore, though..."

            "You don't know 'til you look!  Come on!  Let's go, let's go!"  And seeing as all good moods are usually infectious, Kairi allowed herself to forget the small fog that had been hovering in the back of her mind, constantly bringing up paopu fruits and questionable friendships.  Here she was, able to spend an entire afternoon with Yuffie and she just couldn't allow herself to waste it feeling sorry for herself. 

            Though they had originally set out to go hunt down Sora and Riku's old wooden swords, both Kairi and Yuffie were easily sidetracked and spent the next two hours running along the beach, the spotlight of the sun seeming to make them ten years younger.  Sandcastles were attempted, but washed away by the incoming waters (despite the pathetic dam Yuffie tried to set up, which only resulted in a mushy mound of wet sand).  There were water fights in the ocean and in the small clear pool, fed by a waterfall that ran down a gaggle of rocks and plants.

            Swords were long forgotten and hours passed by in minutes, leaving the two girls to finally come to rest at the old paopu island just as the sun began to noticeably race towards the western horizon.  Sand clung to their feet as Yuffie and Kairi plopped onto the ground, their black pants rolled up to their knees but nonetheless filthy and sand-covered.  Well, that was just what happened when you lived on Destiny Islands. 

            "Hey, Kairi?" Yuffie asked as she flopped down entirely on the sandy ground, her gaze now completely directed at the gradually darkening sky.  "Are you the only one who ever comes back?"

            "Here you mean?"  Kairi once again pulled her legs up towards her chest before wrapping her arms securely around them and resting her chin on her knees.  The island could get cold when the sun went down.  "I don't think so.  Riku and Sora... I'm sure they've been back a lot.  This place mattered more to them than anyone else, probably."

            "Hey, it seems to mean a lot to you.  It'd mean a helluva lot to me too, if I'd spent my entire childhood playing around here.  Anything beats a cruddy old city."  Yuffie paused, thinking about her next words before she said them.  The question had been on her mind for several days though and it might not hurt to ask.  "But those friends of yours... You know, Riku and Sora?"  A smile spread easily across Yuffie's face.  "They more than just friends?"

            Kairi's eyes widened as her mind jolted into alertness, trying to fabricate some sort of excuse, some sort of... anything.  She knew as well as any of the boys' other close friends that they really wanted to keep their relationship somewhat hidden.  Their parents knew, their friends knew, but the rest of island had no need to know about what went on between Riku and Sora.  ...And still...  Yuffie seemed like she would be supportive.  And...  Well hell, she already looked like she knew the answer anyway. 

            "Well..."

            "Hey, it's okay if they don't want it slipping out."  Yuffie sat up now, her focus no longer on the sky above her but rather on the girl beside her.  "I may be a total loudmouth and everything, but I'm not gonna go blabbing it everywhere.  It's obvious to the trained eye anyway!"  She chuckled lightheartedly as she saw the shocked expression on Kairi's face.

            "But...  But they hide it!  They don't hold hands in public or anything!  How did you know?"

            "I told you.  Trained eye."  The wink Yuffie gave Kairi almost sent the younger girl into hysterics.  Holy crap!!!  If Yuffie knows about Riku and Sora...  How obvious must I be???  Shitshitshit...

            "Besides, any friend of yours is a friend of mine!  And a cardinal Yuffie-rule is to not screw over your friends."  Backing up her statement with a cheerful nod of her head, Yuffie grinned at Kairi reassuringly. 

            "Sometimes I'm not so sure..."

            "About what?"

            Yeah, what am I not sure about?  Taking a moment to try and set up her own thoughts in her head, Kairi sighed and gave up.  There wasn't really a rational way to put them all together.  She'd just have to wing it and hope that Yuffie understood.  She seemed to be getting everything up to that point anyway. 

            "It's just that...  The three of us used to be a team."

            "Like the Three Musketeers or something?"

            "Heh... Yeah, kinda like that, I guess.  We were all best friends and we were all on the pretty same level.  And... I was really grateful towards them because I'd just moved to the island and they'd accepted me as their friend so quickly.  So now I just feel like a total selfish idiot and nevermind."  Kairi sighed again, whacking her forehead against her knees in a feeble attempt to bash such betraying thoughts out of her mind.  But Yuffie seemed to have a different idea.

            "No, go on!"

            "...Um..."

            "Please?"

            "...Okay."  There was still no way to refuse that look.  "It's just that sometimes I feel like it's all... dying or something.  Ever since I got here, they've been a huge part of my life and always my best friends.  I guess I thought it would always stay that way, or at least until we graduated from high school or something.  I don't know...  But..."  Kairi frowned, looking out at the ocean as it struggled to mirror the dazzling sunset above it.  The poor ocean would never get it just right, that much Kairi knew.  There were too many imperfections with the water, no matter how clear it seemed.

            "I am happy for them.  And I really do support their love and everything.  And I know it's selfish, but I just...  I guess I'm afraid they'll forget me."

            Jolts of electricity suddenly shot up Kairi's arm, racing from her palm all the way into her brain like wildfire.  What the--?!  Yuffie was holding her hand.  ...Please.  Kill me now.  Thankfully, Yuffie's ever-brilliant smile cut off her voice and the other girl spoke before Kairi was even able to babble some sort of incoherent noise.

            "They'd never forget you!  Come on, Kairi, don't be sad!  You live in this amazing place and your friends really do care about you.  And you're not selfish for not wanting to be forgotten.  Nobody wants that!  Yeah, those guys have a pretty solid relationship it seems.  And yeah, a relationship like that is something that only they share between themselves.  But it's not like you won't get a chance."

            If only you meant it the way I wish you meant it.  ...Actually, wait, no... I feel like fainting right now.  So I'm so glad you're just cheering me up.  Kairi continuously tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it simply refused to budge.  And it didn't help that Yuffie had actually gone quiet and seemed almost... thoughtful.  It was a silence Kairi felt that she just had to break or else it might drag on forever.  ...Granted, Yuffie was still holding her hand, and the idea of holding hands with Yuffie forever didn't seem half bad. 

            And once again, Yuffie seemingly read her mind and broke the silence, giving Kairi a warm smile and she stood up, pulling the younger girl to her feet as she did so.  "Hey, we should get back soon.  Otherwise your mom's gonna wonder where you are and she'll get mad at that 'nice little boy who walks you home every night.'"  Laughing at this, Yuffie missed the slight pout that adorned Kairi's face.

            "I'm still really sorry about that!"

            "Hey, how come you haven't told her I'm a girl?"

            "You were pretending to be a guy!"

            "I was?"

            "Well you sure didn't object to her calling you one!"

            "Oh ye-aaah, I didn't did I?"

            "Yuffie!"

            "Whaaat?"  Laughter trailed behind the pair as they headed back towards the dock and it was only a glimmer of a thought in the back of Kairi's mind that pointed out the obvious fact that her fingers were still loosely entwined with Yuffie's.  It wasn't even a 'real' hand-hold, one could say.  Their fingers were barely laced and no part of their hands were making contact other than that.  It was just something that was there and was seeming to go rather unnoticed until Yuffie's drifting mind caused her to idly caress the side of Kairi's hand with her thumb.

            And it was over in several seconds.

            Kairi jumped, Yuffie snatched her hand away, and the moment was shattered.

            "Sorry!  I didn't mean to--"

            "I-I-It's okay.  Ah...  Ne-nevermind." 

            The rest of the trip home was silent and neither girl was able to tell what the other was thinking, for as much as each of them believed that they knew the other well enough to judge what they would do, they were both wrong.  And they were both wrong because Kairi and Yuffie said goodbye as Kairi reached her house, the sun long gone from the islands.  There was no hand-holding and there was nothing more.  Just a small timid smile that was always on Kairi's face and a small wave that she always seemed to be giving because she couldn't will her hands to do anything else.

            Her parents were... somewhere.  Kairi didn't know where.  Most likely they were watching some old movie in the basement.  She was rather saddened to find that she didn't really care where they were either.  She didn't want to hear her mother ask how 'the nice boy who walked her home' was doing.  Kairi didn't even want to think about Yuffie at that moment. 

            Am I... mad?

            Concert CDs, video cassettes, DVDs, and album after album of music was torn from Kairi's closet and each and every song was played, each and every concert watched and the more she listened and the more she saw, the more frustrated she got.  These were love songs, most of them.  These were women who liked other women and they were happy.  They had courage to be who they were and they had courage to get on front of a stage, hundreds of people before them, and just do what they loved doing. 

            Kairi couldn't even hold Yuffie's hand.

            And so it was that Kairi found herself alone.  There were crowds of people on the screen, there were cheers of people through the headphones and they were all unreal.  The only real person at that moment, the one person Kairi hated most and yet couldn't stop thinking about... just wasn't there. 

            I guess I'm not mad at her.  Not really.  There's no reason for that.  Maybe I'm just... mad at me.

            Frustration is a wicked thing.

........................................................................

            Chapter based on and named after a Sleater-Kinney song.  I highly recommend it, especially while reading the last half of this chapter.  You'll probably find a couple more chapters inspired from that band, too. 

            You know... this chapter had a considerable amount of fluff.  And then it didn't.  That sort of sucks.

Ori