Boys' Night Out
Teal'c was in the Stargate Command's gymnasium, lying on his back on one of the weight benches doing presses, when he heard approaching footsteps. Turning his head in the direction of the noise, he saw that it was Tyr. He and the Nietzschean had several verbal clashes since the Nietzschean had arrived. Teal'c found the Nietzschean's constant boasting annoying. His mentor Bratac had always taught him that a warrior should be judged by the praise of others, not by praise of self.
Tyr watched Teal'c for a moment, then silently took the bench beside Teal'c. He conspicuously added ten pounds more than Teal'c was benching to the weight bar and began to lift the weights.
Teal'c observed Tyr's actions, then after placing the weights in their rest, added additional weight to his bar. Ten pounds more than Tyr was pressing.
Tyr raised the ante by another ten pounds. By this time a small crowd had started to gather. Teal'c thought he heard bets being made, but said nothing, only meeting Try's weight, and raising him another ten pounds.
The silent contest continued, each man raising the weight by ten pounds each turn. The crowd had gotten larger and was getting excited. Had there been a coach from the U.S. Olympic weight lifting team present he would have been ecstatic; both men had exceeded the Olympic record and were still going.
Eventually the Nietzschean's genetically engineered muscles prevailed; Teal'c was not able to exceed the weight on the Nietzschean's bar. Tyr increased the weight on his bar to the weight Teal'c had been unable to lift.
"You see, I am the superior one," stated Tyr.
"Indeed you are strong," replied Teal'c "but strength alone does not win battles."
"Talk from a weakling who has already been bested. Strength always prevails."
Teal'c walked to one side of the gym where the martial arts equipment was stored. He returned with two quarterstaffs. "Are you familiar with the use of these?" he asked.
"Of course"
The two men squared off in the center of the gym. The crowd was getting bigger, and so were the bets. Out of the corner of his eye, Teal'c noticed that Sgt Harriman had a large handful of money. Apparently he was the one holding the bets. Tyr was strong, but lacked true skill with the staff. His method of combat depended on using his superior strength to overpower his opponents. Teal'c had been trained in the use of the staff since he was a child. His training master had often pitted him against larger and stronger opponents, so he would learn how to handle such situations. In a mater of minutes, Tyr was lying flat on his back, the end of Teal'cs staff at his throat.
"As I said, strength alone does not win battles."
"Shall we try one more match?" suggested Tyr. "This time hand to hand combat."
"Agreed"
By this time, the word had gotten out throughout Stargate Command that Teal'c and Tyr were settling their differences in the base gym. The gym was filled with spectators and the bets were flying fast and furious. Sgt Harriman was still collecting everyone's bets and making book.
There was a flurry of blows, Tyr's strength being met by Teal'cs speed. The match was suddenly interrupted by a shouted "Attention on Deck". General Hammond, accompanied by Colonel O'Neill had entered the gym.
"Colonel, can you explain the meaning of this?" queried General Hammond. "I know the men are not betting on the outcome of a fight between these two men, because gambling is prohibited on the base."
O'Neill proved once again that he could think fast under fire. "It's a charity exhibition for the Airman's Relief Service, Sir. Teal'c and Tyr very generously offered to give a demonstration of the martial arts used by their people to raise money for the annual Airman's Relief drive, which, as I am sure you recall, starts next week."
The generals expression made it clear that he knew when he was being fed a line of bull, but he went along with the charade. "That's very generous of you gentlemen, but I'm afraid that all such promotions have to be cleared by me first, so I'm going to have to cancel this demonstration. However, since you were all so willing to contribute to the drive, I'm sure you won't complain if I take the money now. With enthusiasm like this I'm sure we'll exceed our annual goal by a large margin."
The general took the money that Sgt Harriman had collected and departed, leaving O'Neill to face the music.
"Well, what did you expect me to say?" he asked the very angry looking crowd.
The crowd or airmen dispersed, muttering curses and giving O'Neill dirty looks. Jack decided that he needed to find some way to get Teal'c and the Nietzschean to come to terms before things got totally out of hand. Then he had a brainstorm, a way that might allow Teal'c and Tyr to get better acquainted.
"How would the two of you like to head out into town and meet a namesake of mine?"
A namesake Colonel O'Neill?" queried Teal'c.
"Yes, a friend of mine, also named Jack. Jack Daniels to be exact."
Jack took them to Stargate Command's favorite watering hole. Tyr was wearing his translator, but no one in the bar paid any attention. After having Stargate Command as a neighbor for years, the patrons of the bar took weirdness as the norm. O'Neill suspected that if Dr Jackson took his purple girlfriend here for a nightcap no one would even blink.
The band was attempting to play country and western tunes, and making a poor attempt of it. After enduring a few songs Tyr muttered, "Where are the songs of battle and strife? Don't you weak humans know anything but simpering love songs?"
Jack thought for a moment. There was one he knew, an epic poem actually. He began to recite it to his table mates. When he was finished both Tyr and Teal'c were smiling broadly.
"Truly an epic battle" said Tyr
"A warrior woman of great prowess" added Teal'c "Recite it again, that we might learn it as well."
Jack ordered them all another round, and recited the epic again. Another round and another recital, this time with Teal'c and Tyr going along with him.
About three A.M.. the next morning, the Officer of the Day received a phone call from the gate sentry. An inebriated Teal'c and an equally inebriated Tyr were supporting an even more inebriated O'Neill. The three of them were bellowing at the top of their lungs the story about the epic battle between Eskimo Nell and Deadeye Dick.
ABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCDABCD
O'Neill opened his eyes, and then quickly shut them. Someone was shining an arc light in his face, and from the pounding in his head he assumed that somehow he had been infested by one of those Magog larva, and it was busy eating his brain. Not only that, but somehow a camel had gotten into Stargate command, and the beast had defecated in his mouth. He tried once more to open his eyes, this time slowly; there that was better, apparently the arc light was only the overhead florescent. Slowly he forced himself to sit up, his stomach rolled once then was still. He put his feet on the floor and they encountered something wet and sticky. Looking down he saw a puddle of vomit on the floor, odd had someone crept into his quarters and puked on the floor?
A shower a shave, and a clean uniform later, he was considering the possibility that he might actually survive. He made his way down to the mess hall. It was still open and there was food out for the taking, but the sight of greasy bacon and half done eggs started his stomach rolling again, so he settled for just a cup of coffee.
He really, really, hoped that Teal'c and Tyr had settled their differences, before someone, most likely him, got hurt
He had just started on his coffee, when the alarms indicating unscheduled stargate activation went off. With a muttered expletive he dropped his coffee and headed for the control center. Sgt Harriman was already there when he arrived. Somehow, Harriman always managed to be present during unscheduled activations. O'Neill sometimes wondered if Harriman slept in the control center.
"It's Bratac sir"
"Open the iris, Sergeant," ordered O'Neill as he headed down to the gate room.
The Jaffa ambassador to Earth stepped through the event horizon, and started towards the colonel. "Ah, Colonel O'Neill, it is good to see you. I must speak to Hammond of Texas at once. I have disturbing news about Anubis."
"Any news of Anubis is disturbing, Master Bratac. What do you have?"
"I fear that Anubis is attempting to create an alliance with a new race. One I have never heard of before. They are called the Magog."