Pain.
Throbbing, horrible pain seemed a part of him, as much a part of his head as the skull contained therein, and it all hurt abysmally, making him give an involuntary groan as he shifted slightly.
A soft hand pressed against his chest, pushing him back down. "Easy," said its owner. A girl's voice. "You got hurt. Just relax, you should be fine in a moment."
He groaned in reply, the aching of his head not stopping. However, it seemed to dim a little with her statement. Slowly, reluctantly, he opened his eyes, peering up at the ceiling. Then soft and steady beep... beep... beep... of a machine nearby caught his attention, but he couldn't see the source. Nor could he see much of anything but the ceiling and the dim fluorescent lights above. The walls were a uniform gray and black, with a strange pattern along it that he didn't recognize. The room was rather dark, the shadows seemed to fill it rather thickly.
"Oh wonderful, you are awake... you are alright?" asked a voice, another one. Another girl's voice. The speaker entered his line of vision as he sat up slightly.
It was a young girl, probably in her mid- to late-teens, with deeply tanned, golden tinted skin and long, flowing crimson hair. Her eyes were bright, open wide with wonder and... as she approached him... joy. They were a most remarkable green on green, no whites like a human's eye. She was dressed in a bright violet halter-top, short skirt, and boots, all of which looked strange to him. Strange and... alien.
She looked incredibly familiar but... he didn't know who she was.
"You are feeling better now?" she asked with a wide smile.
"I... I don't know," he replied. His head did still hurt like hell, after all. Without thinking he pressed a hand against his forehead to try and relieve the pain a little. It didn't work. "What... what happened?" he asked softly, more to himself than her.
"Overload tossed you out a window," said the first voice, making him whirl his head around suddenly to peer at the other speaker. It was another girl, young like the first, with pale skin and violet hair. A great blue cloaked was wrapped around her shoulders an obscured any other details about her, though she seemed rather on the slender side. "You hit your head. Tell me, are you feeling better?" she asked, her voice, though close to a monotone and whisper, hinted of some concern.
"I... I'm not sure... I don't remember... I..." he stopped talked then, his eyes suddenly going wide. As did the pale girl's. She knew even before he spoke it, she could sense his surface thoughts as easily as if he'd spoken aloud.
"What -do- you remember?" she asked softly. "Do you remember... who we are?" she asked after she saw him hesitate. She kept her eyes on him, mostly because she didn't want to see the red-headed girl's reaction to the question. She visibly flinched.
"No," he replied slowly. "Who are you... and..."
He paused, turning again, looking at the other girl. The alien girl with emerald eyes. Eyes that now seemed to be shimmering with unshed tears. Lightning crackled from outside the window, illuminating the room briefly and making them very visible.
"... who am I?"
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"Amnesia," concluded Raven, turning away from the computers. The medical bay was still dark, and currently they were using candles to keep it illuminated, but they'd managed to get back-up power on-line so they could work with the more important computer systems.
"I could've told you that," said Beastboy, lounging on the windowsill casually, though he was still very upset, and his pointed ears drooped a little. "The question is how do we fix it?"
Raven growled darkly, the sound echoing in the medical bay as she turned to regard Beastboy. Her eyes... all four of them... were glowing bright red underneath her hood. "If you feel you know how to do this better..."
"Oh, uhm... right, right..." said Beastboy, laughing nervously as he edged towards the sliding door and away from Raven, who'd invited Anger to join them. "Oh... uhm, did you hear that?" he asked, placing a hand to his ear as if he'd heard a sound. "Sounded like an alert. I'll just... uh... go check it out you know. Beastboy, Go!" he shouted dramatically, then wasted no time in transforming into a cheetah and bolting down the corridor as far away from Raven as possible.
Raven meanwhile, took in a deep breath through her nose and exhaled out her mouth, calming her racing heart and pushing Anger back into the cage of her mind. She'd served her purpose. That done, she turned back to the others, whom she'd really been addressing when Beastboy had interrupted.
Cyborg, however, was also on the verge of escaping the room, and not necessarily through the door either. However, upon seeing Raven's normal, violet eyes were back, he relaxed marginally. "Sounds bad," said Cyborg, glancing over at the leader of the Teen Titans. Robin was sitting on the far medical bed, curled up into a ball like a little kid, shivering fearfully. He didn't understand anything that was going on, and didn't recognize or remember any of the Titans. Hell, he didn't even know who he himself was. Not Robin, not even whoever was under that mask. None of it. Not exactly the best way to wake up.
However, Raven had quickly discovered there -was- one thing he recognized before Beastboy and Cyborg had rejoined them (they'd been busy setting up the Tower's self-contained generator so they could continue to function even though Jump City was suffering a blackout). Robin still recognized Starfire, even though he didn't know who she was. Thus, Raven had encouraged her to keep close. She hovered beside Robin, ready to assist in any way possible, though she was just as much confused as Robin himself.
"Everything is... so strange..." said Robin. No doubt referring to what had just passed between Raven and Beastboy. Raven grimaced. He was right. Releasing Anger hadn't been the best of decisions at the time. They needed to keep from frightening Robin further. Not the easiest task when none of them were completely human any longer. They were too used to weirdness.
"Robin, do you recall anything at all?" she asked patiently. "Any memories?"
"Not really," he replied, scrunching up his face in concentration. "I... wait... wait I remember something. It's... it's a circus. I remember, I was a little kid..."
Raven pressed her lips tightly together in a frown, but didn't stop him. Not yet.
"... I can see the performers... they're working on the trapeze act. I can see them. They're doing so well. And then..." Robin's eyes opened wide behind his mask. "... and then... oh god..."
Raven snapped her fingers.
Instantly Robin's eyes were on her again, as were the other occupants of the room. Robin was shaking. She couldn't blame him. Not all his memories were pleasant. But still, you had to take the good with the bad. She said as much, explaining the situation as best she was able. While not a psychologist, her inborn talents at telepathy allowed her a great deal of understanding on how the human mind worked, and sometimes even the non-human mind. She'd seen into Robin's head before and knew all about what had happened to him. Though for his sake she'd kept her lips shut about it. It was his demon to battle, not hers. She had enough of her own.
"This is actually a good sign," she said, finishing her diagnosis.
"It is?" asked Robin, still shivering. Without thinking, his hand instinctively dropped down to his waist, fingers flexing as if expecting to find something there. And then suddenly they wrapped around something. Robin glanced up. Starfire had taken his gloved hand in hers, and given a comforting squeeze. She didn't really smile down at him, but she gave a nod. It spoke volumes to him. I'm here for you, she seemed to be saying.
The gesture didn't go unnoticed by Raven either. "Your memories are still present," she elaborated for them. "They're simply... blocked by the damage. But they're still there, at least. We simply need to find a way to recover them."
"You make it all sound easy," said Cyborg, giving her a hearty slap on the back. One which nearly sent Raven sprawling.
"I wish it were," replied Raven in her monotone voice, smoothing out her cloak. "Still, there's no reason to give up hope yet. For the moment, Cyborg and I can do some research, see what we can find... Starfire?"
"Yes?" asked the Tamaranian girl, looking up in surprise.
"Robin will need some guidance, but being here might not be best for him. He needs to be around familiar settings to improve the chances of more memories surfacing. You should assist him with this. You know Robin better than most of us here. You can assist him," she said. Raven did not add that Starfire was also more likely to be the most comforting individual around in case Robin happened to come across a bad memory. "Maybe start with his room. It should help."
"Of course," said Starfire. She walked over towards the door (flying seemed to distress Robin a little) and glanced back over at Robin. He didn't seem himself at all as he timidly followed after her. The old Robin, her Robin, had been brimming with confidence in every step, to the point where some might even call him arrogant. And he was usually always smiling in the Tower, among his friends. This new Robin was so much... quieter. Shyer. To Starfire it was like a stranger was wearing Robin's face as a mask, and it chilled her to her soul.
But she hid her own feelings deep down inside of her, put on a happy smile, and walked down the corridor just a little ahead of Robin, guiding him towards his room. He'd taken it upon himself to show her Earth life and Earth customs before, now it was her turn to show him who he really was. So she grabbed one of the many candles illuminating the medical bay and held it in her hand to guide them both as they made their way out of the room and down the corridor towards Robin's.
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"This is my room?" he asked.
Robin's inner sanctuary was a dark and dreary place, and utterly functional. No posters decorated his walls, no clothes lay strewn about on the floor in the manner of normal teenage boys. Everything was in its place, his bed was neatly made, his clothes folded and away in the dresser by the far wall. The windows were shuttered, and only the overhead light provided any illumination under normal circumstances. Right now, the feeble candle in Starfire's hand did little other than show more shadows. And all it really did illuminate was a number of newspaper clipping Robin had never before taken down from the walls.
Titan's repel attack on Titan's Tower, cite Slade as mastermind behind the attack.
Slade's name connected to prison break.
Informants say they were paid by Slade.
Fire elemental destroyed by the Titans, believed to be the work of Slade.
Investigation undergoing to determine the true identity of Slade.
Slade involved in theft of rare computer chips.
"Does any of it look familiar to you?" asked Starfire quietly, standing in the doorway, her hands clasped before her. She knew the layout of Robin's room, she'd been invited into it often to chat with him. But now, she sensed he might want to be alone. At the same time, she didn't want to just leave him. Not yet.
"No... not really..." he replied reluctantly, eyeing the newspaper clippings. Two names seemed to keep coming up. "What're these Titans? And who is... Slade?" he asked. Though even as he spoke that word, a chill ran down his spine. Instinctively, he recognized the name, even if he had no memories of who it was.
Apparently, Starfire recognized it as well. She'd flinched. "Slade was... a very bad man," she said reluctantly. "He was..." she started to say, then hesitated. What to call him? Psychopath? Monster? Robin's Master? Terra's murderer? "A criminal," she finally settled on.
"Looks like I knew a lot about him," said Robin, eyeing one of the newspaper clippings. "Or... or I wanted to."
Starfire's mouth opened... then snapped shut immediately. She couldn't say such things to Robin. Not now. He wouldn't be able to understand, wouldn't be able to deal with it. It might hurt him more. But still, she didn't like keeping secrets. And she liked lying even less.
"You wished to understand your enemy, so you could battle him better," she finally replied with a nod of her head.
He nodded dimly, still unsure of everything. So very unlike the Robin she knew and cared for. Sensing his unease, she turned to depart. "I'll... I'll leave you alone for now," she said, starting to head down the hallway.
"... wait..."
Her head snapped up by his quiet request, and she poked her head back into the room. He was sitting on the edge of his simple bed, his feet dangling, and he looked at her with wide-eyed fear. Not of her, but of everything else around him. This too, was unlike the Robin she knew, who so bravely stood up to Slade, who so valiantly saved her from the likes of Cinderblock and Plasmus. "Please don't leave me," he whispered.
She nodded, stepping into the room fully and gently sliding shut the doors behind her (the automated system was off-line, of course). She made her way over to the bed, sitting down beside him and placing the candle on the dresser beside them. "Of course not," she said. "I'll help you recover your memories."
"Thank you," he replied. His hand dropped down to his side again, and Starfire held it in hers, squeezing it softly to try and comfort him.
He gasped suddenly, and she jerked her hand back as if she'd stuck it in acid. "Did I do wrong?"
"No, no... wait... I... I remember something," he said. Cautiously, he extended his hand again, taking hers in it, and closed his eyes, allowing the memory to come back to him. "I... I can see you. And those others... the ones I met before. And... I see all these... these horrible monsters," he said, opening his eyes and jerking his hand away from hers this time. She looked on sympathetically. "What were they?"
"What did they look like?" she asked quietly.
"These big... bugs. Cockroaches, kinda, but standing on two legs..."
"... with four arms and mandibles and bug-eyes," she finished for him.
"Yeah... how did..."
"Zornians," she said. Then she smiled, realizing what it meant. "I believe that is a memory of when we first met."
"Can you tell me more about it?" Robin asked her gently. Almost pleadingly. She nodded.
"We met when the Zornians attacked Earth," she said, sticking to the simpler version of their history. "You had tried to stop them yourself, but you weren't able to. Nor was Raven, our friend. So she called together you and I and the other Titans to battle the Zornians and make them leave Earth alone."
"I fought them?" he asked.
"Remarkably well. You even defeated their leader," she said proudly.
Robin frowned, looking back... -willing- himself to look back, to pierce through the fog in his head and find his memories. He still saw glimpses of the monsters... the Zornians... and now he saw other images. The pale girl, the green boy, the mechanical man. Fighting the monsters. And there was one image in particular that came through most clearly. He saw one of the Zornians advance on -him-, armed with a great broke pipe and wielding it like a spear, intend to run him through. And then he saw a bright bolt of green energy knock the beast aside, and then he saw...
"... Starfire," he murmured softly. Then, louder, he asked "You saved my life, didn't you?"
She nodded wordlessly. She dare not interrupt the solemn nature of the moment. Perhaps her Robin had finally uncovered a way to retrieve his lost memories. Perhaps he would remember everything, and all would be well again.
"Thank you," he said.
She released a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding, and nodded again. "I would never want to see you hurt so, Robin."
He sighed, smiling ruefully. "I wish I could remember more. You seem like a nice person. I... I dunno I just feel bad I can't really remember anything about you."
"It is not your fault," she replied. "It is the fault of that son of a ke'vorian mush-splavk Overload..."
"What?" he backed up from her in surprise. "What're you saying?"
"Oh... I am sorry, I often slip into Tamaranian when I am angry... hehe," she said, rubbing the back of her head in embarrassment.
"Tamaranian..." he repeated quietly, obviously not recognizing the word.
"The language of my home world, Tamaran," she replied. Then, more morosely "You do not remember Tamaran either, do you?"
"I've been to another world?" he said in surprise.
"Ooh!"
"What?"
Starfire didn't reply, as she practically leapt off his bed and zoomed over to Robin's dresser, pulling open the drawers and rummaging around inside, searching for something. As she did, she absent-mindedly tossed a number of Robin's spare uniforms onto the floor, messing up everything. But from within his drawer a muffled shriek of joy was uttered, and when Starfire re-emerged, she held the object of her quest in hand, holding it up high.
A photo album.
"Please forgive me Robin but I happened to know you had this here. I am sorry if you wished it to be private but I believe it can be of great use to you now."
"What is it?" he asked, scooting over slightly on the bed as she sat down, peering over her shoulder at the photo album in her hands. Embossed on the front was the word 'Memories.' Ironic, actually. Starfire, without hesitation, opened it up, flipping through a few pages towards the end of the book. She spoke as she continued to look for the page in question.
"You took these pictures a long while ago, starting shortly after Titan's Tower was built," she said, still searching for her particular destination. "I believe you received aid from Cyborg's camera-eye to assist you in taking some of these more difficult shots."
"He has a camera in there?" asked Robin, half to himself. Wow, if that wasn't weird he didn't know what was.
"Ah, here it is," said Starfire, pointing at the page in question. Amongst the myriad pictures contained therein, a roll of tape had been laid and the words 'Trip to Tamaran' had been written in pen. They showed images of the world Starfire had told him of, as well as its people. "Does any of this look familiar?" asked Starfire hopefully.
"Well, you do of course," he said, pointing at her picture. "But who is that beside you?" he asked with a frown. He suddenly had an intense surge of anger and... jealousy? Why would he be jealous, when he did not even know who or what that person was? Was it another memory of sorts?
Starfire winced, feeling a sense of nausea as she beheld the photographic image of Gigrrisklechhh, her false betrothed whom she'd nearly made the mistake of marrying so very long ago. "It is... not important," said Starfire, turning over the page. She smiled as she saw the new image. It was her and Robin just before they'd decided to depart Tamaran together, after she'd given away the title of Empress and placed Galifore in charge of her world and her people. "This is much better, yes?"
"Much better," he agreed, absent-mindedly tracing the image of Starfire beneath his finger. "Wow... you look beautiful..."
She blushed at that, stammering a denial, but she couldn't fully voice it. Her old Robin had never called her beautiful before, either. Not that he'd called her ugly, of course, he'd just never voiced aloud what he thought of her. He was nothing like this Robin. They seemed almost worlds apart. "... thank you."
And so the two of them sat together in companionable quiet, flipping through the photo album, walking down memory lane. Sometimes the images would bring with them flashes of Robin's memory... other times they would not. But they pushed onward. Starfire wanted Robin to remember who he was to himself... and Robin wanted to remember who she was to him. And so they flipped through the pages, bringing forth images of times past.
Their fateful meeting. The gathering of the Titans. Her first trip to the mall. Their first conflict with the HIVE students. Blackfire's fateful visit to Earth. A beach trip. Their first celebration of Blorthog, the Tamaranian Festival of Friendship. Terra, old ally of the Titans. Even a few pictures of their dance at the 'Date with Destiny' prom they'd attended. At the moment, none of it helped to re-awaken much of Robin's locked away memories but it was a pleasant enough activity to pass the time.
The candle on the dresser continued to flicker, a tiny beacon of light amidst the shadows.
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Author's Notes:
Angst galore with poor amnesiac Robin. And now of course we've come across the most prominent plot to my story, though containing a small number of subplots left and right. Robin's lost memory. The one memory he recalled about circus performers was a rather... dramatic... memory from Dick Greyson's (Robin's) past. It was seen very briefly in 'Haunted' so of course Raven knows about it. Expect to see many more like that as time goes on. If anyone doesn't think the animated Robin is Dick then I suggest you turn around now and go find another fic to find. Shoo! Shoo! Most of the clips are from previous episodes featuring Slade (at least, those most likely to be public knowledge), plus a few tossed in to make it seem realistic. Most of the events that Starfire and Robin are talking about or reading in the photo album (seen briefly in my previous story 'Awakening of Evil') are former episodes of Teen Titans, with a few off-screen escapades thrown in for good measure. An obvious exception is made regarding the first meeting of Starfire and Robin, as I covered that in my first animated Titan's fanfiction, 'Secret Origins.'
Dragonmaster-Sain: Don't worry, I'll always be writing. But glad you're enjoying the story.
Lilocila: Interesting guess, you'll find out in due time. I am so very glad you're a fan of my work.
Yomiori-Wolfdemon: Terra being evil was an interesting new look on her, it made her a more interesting character. Most of the Titans seem to benefit from a kinda-sorta-evil episode (Apprentice, Deception, Beast Within, etc.). No Terra for this story though, sorry.
InuKurama: Well ain't that a coincidence, I like it too. Hehe. Glad you're enjoying it.
ViciousAssassin: What a coincidence, those were all my favorite little segments. I do so enjoy writing humor, even if I'm not very good at it. As for the story content, you'll have to wait and see. Still, you read my story last year. It's along those lines. I just hate repeating myself, so I spiced it up this year.
Kodora Fairy: XOXO right back atcha, girl. I see you're a Robin/Starfire fan, so I imagine you'll be adding this story to your favorite list when I'm done with it. I just hope I'm worthy.
ShadowSage2: Ah, it is you. I was wondering when you'd be showing up. I agree, even a holiday-romantic story needs a plot, that's why I decided to go a different route this year than last (last years victims with Kurt and Amanda from XME). They're not the only superteens though... what about Kara? She's only sixteen I think... (two more years baby...) Hehe. Hope you enjoyed this next segment and more to come. I'm very flattered you think my skills are improving.